Blame implies the existence of a conscious intent.
Responsibility implies involvement.
Blame is assigned to someone/thing else. Even when I declare "I blame myself", there is a Blamer and a Blamed -- probably "I" and "Me". It is a weapon of punishment and control.
Blame is an attempt to avoid responsibility.
Responsibility is something you accept and creatively engage with.
Blame is a one-way, dead-end cul-de-sac to anger and depression.
Responsibility is an open freeway to freedom.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Sunday, November 18, 2007
BELIEFS
Beliefs are bridges over what you don't know.
Every belief is based on no direct experience.
When you know something from direct experience, belief is no longer necessary.
Living according to beliefs (P.S. they're not even yours, you know --- you adopted them Nth-hand from others) is like going to a lavish restaurant and eating the menu instead of the meal.
Every belief is based on no direct experience.
When you know something from direct experience, belief is no longer necessary.
Living according to beliefs (P.S. they're not even yours, you know --- you adopted them Nth-hand from others) is like going to a lavish restaurant and eating the menu instead of the meal.
Thursday, November 01, 2007
39 THINGS I'VE LEARNT THE HARD WAY (and still counting)
* There is no free lunch.
* It's all an illusion; we pretend it's real until we get carried away by our own pretense.
* Whatever we resist persists.
* My resentments cost me my freedom. I can't have both.
* A fool and my money are soon elected.
* We can choose our friends, but not our rellies. There is a reason for that.
* Good communication isn't hard: there are only 3 rules:-
* Never lick either a steak knife or the lid of a can you've just opened.
* Anyone who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter cannot be trusted. Pay attention.
* God has a sense of humour.
* God has no sense of humour. She takes you very literally at your word.
* When people say "I was only joking", they were telling you their truth: they just don't want to own up to it.
* It's all an illusion; we pretend it's real until we get carried away by our own pretense.
* Whatever we resist persists.
* My resentments cost me my freedom. I can't have both.
* A fool and my money are soon elected.
* We can choose our friends, but not our rellies. There is a reason for that.
* Good communication isn't hard: there are only 3 rules:-
- Say what is.
- Put it where it is (ie. in a context)
- Engage the listener.
* Never lick either a steak knife or the lid of a can you've just opened.
* Anyone who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter cannot be trusted. Pay attention.
* God has a sense of humour.
* God has no sense of humour. She takes you very literally at your word.
* When people say "I was only joking", they were telling you their truth: they just don't want to own up to it.
* Existence is an infinity of "This and that......and...." No possibility is excluded. Nothing is judged.
"Either this.........or that......." is an artifice created by the human mind that just wants to be right about its concepts, beliefs, opinions and conclusions.
* The purpose of life is life itself, just as it is.
* Your face and body after age 20 are all your own work.
* Keep trying new things. The Ark was built by a lone amateur. The Titanic was built by a bunch of highly qualified pros.
* There is no meaning -- we make that up. And it doesn't mean anything that it doesn't mean anything.
* A victim's life doesn't work, but most people take it up as a lifetime occupation.
* The purpose of life is life itself, just as it is.
* Your face and body after age 20 are all your own work.
* Keep trying new things. The Ark was built by a lone amateur. The Titanic was built by a bunch of highly qualified pros.
* There is no meaning -- we make that up. And it doesn't mean anything that it doesn't mean anything.
* A victim's life doesn't work, but most people take it up as a lifetime occupation.
* What is -- is. What ain't -- ain't. Everything else is just so much blah-blah-blah. Most people think the blah-blah-blah is somehow important.
* When "what-is" becomes more important than "what-ain't", suffering ceases.
* The only cause of suffering is addiction.
* This, too, will pass.
* There are no limits to the human capacity for stupidity.
* Given enough time and space, everything comes back to now/here.
* Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
* What your life is about is up to you. Quit looking elsewhere for "the answer".
* "The answer" is you, and your experience right now. You just forgot what the question was.
* Never, ever, ever, say anything to a woman that even remotely hints that she might be pregnant, unless you can actually see a baby emerging from her at that moment.
* It's all about Balance. Nature balances itself.
* There are consequences to everything, including every attempt to manipulate the consequences.
* The more things change, the more they stay the same.
* When something changes, it's component elements remain the same; the same shit just got moved around a bit, that's all. We don't need change; we need transformation.
* Women are mean and men are stupid.
* Boys.....never, ever hit a girl. No matter how painfully they taunt you, girls have universal moral immunity, and they know it.
* There is a universe of difference between Knowledge and Wisdom, Sympathy and Empathy, Quitting and Surrender, Believing and Knowing.
* A judge called Pilate asked one of his prisoners "You talk about Truth; what is Truth?" The other bloke just looked at him, without a flicker of attitude. Pilate was left carrying his own baggage. He couldn't handle it.
* When "what-is" becomes more important than "what-ain't", suffering ceases.
* The only cause of suffering is addiction.
* This, too, will pass.
* There are no limits to the human capacity for stupidity.
* Given enough time and space, everything comes back to now/here.
* Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
* What your life is about is up to you. Quit looking elsewhere for "the answer".
* "The answer" is you, and your experience right now. You just forgot what the question was.
* Never, ever, ever, say anything to a woman that even remotely hints that she might be pregnant, unless you can actually see a baby emerging from her at that moment.
* It's all about Balance. Nature balances itself.
* There are consequences to everything, including every attempt to manipulate the consequences.
* The more things change, the more they stay the same.
* When something changes, it's component elements remain the same; the same shit just got moved around a bit, that's all. We don't need change; we need transformation.
* Women are mean and men are stupid.
* Boys.....never, ever hit a girl. No matter how painfully they taunt you, girls have universal moral immunity, and they know it.
* There is a universe of difference between Knowledge and Wisdom, Sympathy and Empathy, Quitting and Surrender, Believing and Knowing.
* A judge called Pilate asked one of his prisoners "You talk about Truth; what is Truth?" The other bloke just looked at him, without a flicker of attitude. Pilate was left carrying his own baggage. He couldn't handle it.
* The longer the explanation, the bigger the lie.
* My emotions are my responsibility, no-one else's. Your feelings are yours; share them by all means, but don't dump them on anyone else.
* What others think of me is none of my business.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
MIRACLES?
Albert Einstein is quoted as saying "There are only two ways to live your life: one is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
I find both to be true -- Everything is a miracle, AND nothing is a miracle.
The best way I can explain this paradox is by saying "Everything is a miracle; and it doesn't mean anything that everything is a miracle -- there's nothing miraculous about that".
Seeing everything as a miracle returns me to my childhood, when everything was indeed fresh, and new and a constant source of wonder and awe, proper subjects for an insatiable curiosity and quest for experience. To be curious for experience is to know the heart of God. No one thing is any more or less important than any other. It's all a miracle.
And none of it is a miracle. It is what it is -- life. The purpose of life is life itself. If none of it is miraculous or important, then we cannot get hooked up on it. We are free. We can move on in gratitude. When we get hooked up in any way, we hit the pause button on life. And it's OK to experience that, too.
The great thing about this life is that we cannot fail. It's not an exam to be passed -- it's an experience to be had. An un-judged experience of Now is the timeless Prize.
I find both to be true -- Everything is a miracle, AND nothing is a miracle.
The best way I can explain this paradox is by saying "Everything is a miracle; and it doesn't mean anything that everything is a miracle -- there's nothing miraculous about that".
Seeing everything as a miracle returns me to my childhood, when everything was indeed fresh, and new and a constant source of wonder and awe, proper subjects for an insatiable curiosity and quest for experience. To be curious for experience is to know the heart of God. No one thing is any more or less important than any other. It's all a miracle.
And none of it is a miracle. It is what it is -- life. The purpose of life is life itself. If none of it is miraculous or important, then we cannot get hooked up on it. We are free. We can move on in gratitude. When we get hooked up in any way, we hit the pause button on life. And it's OK to experience that, too.
The great thing about this life is that we cannot fail. It's not an exam to be passed -- it's an experience to be had. An un-judged experience of Now is the timeless Prize.
Monday, October 08, 2007
YOU ARE WHAT YOU RESIST
Am I missing something?
This from Amanda Blair's column in yesterday's Adelaide Sunday Mail headlined "BIAS CUTS BOTH WAYS" --
.......52 year-old doctor, Tracie O'Keefe. At 15, as a young male, she began taking hormones and at 21 she had gender reassignment surgery.
Tracie had always known she was female, but nature had dished out the wrong set of genitals.
Some 30 years later she is living with her long term partner, Katrina Fox in a lesbian relationship....."
Oh hello!?? Now that is having a bet each way.
But I digress.....
Columnist Amanda went on to report Tracie's bitch about being discriminated against by the organizers of a function for "lesbian raised females" who've refused her admission on the grounds that the function was only for lesbians raised as females from birth. Amanda went on to express surprise that people who had experienced so much discrimination in their lives should themselves turn out to be arch discriminators.
Which planet did this lady just arrive from?
I don't remember now who introduced me to this concept, but I call it the Topdog/Underdog syndrome. In any social interaction, the chances are better than even that one party will assume the position of Topdog ("I'm doing this for your own good!"); and the other will assume the posture of Underdog ("Yes sir, thank you sir, three bags full sir"). Then will come a time when the Underdog becomes Topdog, either with that person or with someone else. When that happens, watch that Underdog become a meaner, more savage, devious Topdog than his/her previous tormentors ever were!! Listen around you. It's going on all the time. Haven't you ever looked at someone whose family you know and noticed "She does her mother better than her mother!"
There are many unalterable Laws of Life in this weird
realm we live in. Here are three of them --
This from Amanda Blair's column in yesterday's Adelaide Sunday Mail headlined "BIAS CUTS BOTH WAYS" --
.......52 year-old doctor, Tracie O'Keefe. At 15, as a young male, she began taking hormones and at 21 she had gender reassignment surgery.
Tracie had always known she was female, but nature had dished out the wrong set of genitals.
Some 30 years later she is living with her long term partner, Katrina Fox in a lesbian relationship....."
Oh hello!?? Now that is having a bet each way.
But I digress.....
Columnist Amanda went on to report Tracie's bitch about being discriminated against by the organizers of a function for "lesbian raised females" who've refused her admission on the grounds that the function was only for lesbians raised as females from birth. Amanda went on to express surprise that people who had experienced so much discrimination in their lives should themselves turn out to be arch discriminators.
Which planet did this lady just arrive from?
I don't remember now who introduced me to this concept, but I call it the Topdog/Underdog syndrome. In any social interaction, the chances are better than even that one party will assume the position of Topdog ("I'm doing this for your own good!"); and the other will assume the posture of Underdog ("Yes sir, thank you sir, three bags full sir"). Then will come a time when the Underdog becomes Topdog, either with that person or with someone else. When that happens, watch that Underdog become a meaner, more savage, devious Topdog than his/her previous tormentors ever were!! Listen around you. It's going on all the time. Haven't you ever looked at someone whose family you know and noticed "She does her mother better than her mother!"
There are many unalterable Laws of Life in this weird
realm we live in. Here are three of them --
- What you resist -- persists
- You BECOME what you resist
- You already ARE what you resist, and what you resist will keep showing up in your face until you say "yes" to your ownership of it.
But we don't cop to it. We're afraid that, by saying "Yes, I am that way sometimes", we'll become the victim of it. The reverse is true. By denying it, we're perpetuating it and the dominance of it over out well-being. By saying "yes" to what we don't like, we give ourselves freedom to choose -- we give ourselves author-ity in the matter.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENTS
FEAR
Fear is an emotional reaction to a perceived departure from your emotional attachment to the way you think things ought to be. The severity of the attachment determines the debilitating severity of the resulting Fear.
ANGER
Complaint, with the volume turned up.
An extreme emotional attachment to the way you think things ought to be, and a reactive resistance to your perception of a departure from that.
REMORSE
An emotional attachment to the way you think you ought to be, and a reactive awareness of your departure from that ideal.
Fear is an emotional reaction to a perceived departure from your emotional attachment to the way you think things ought to be. The severity of the attachment determines the debilitating severity of the resulting Fear.
ANGER
Complaint, with the volume turned up.
An extreme emotional attachment to the way you think things ought to be, and a reactive resistance to your perception of a departure from that.
REMORSE
An emotional attachment to the way you think you ought to be, and a reactive awareness of your departure from that ideal.
-------------------
Because these conditions were never reasoned into in the first place, they cannot be reasoned out of. The way out is intuitive/emotional. This is not about change: this is about transformation.
A goose was once raised in a large bottle. As it grew, however, it became too large for the bottle. Question:- How do you get the goose out, without damaging either the goose or the bottle? Answer:- The goose is out. It was never in in the first place -- that was a lie.
For peace of no-mind, all attachments must be dropped. Let 'em go (and don't get attached to getting unattached!)
Because these conditions were never reasoned into in the first place, they cannot be reasoned out of. The way out is intuitive/emotional. This is not about change: this is about transformation.
A goose was once raised in a large bottle. As it grew, however, it became too large for the bottle. Question:- How do you get the goose out, without damaging either the goose or the bottle? Answer:- The goose is out. It was never in in the first place -- that was a lie.
For peace of no-mind, all attachments must be dropped. Let 'em go (and don't get attached to getting unattached!)
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
DEFINITION & INFINITION
When we define something we give it boundaries and limits, so that it will fit into a pigeonhole of "understanding".
When a boundary is drawn around anything, we are then able to discriminate between that which "it is" and that which "it is not". Discrimination is a comfort to the scared Mind, ever fearful of not-knowing and not-being-in-control. An illusion of Certainty arises from the inevitable judging of Right from Wrong, Good from Bad, Safe from Dangerous.
The end results are Polarity, Position-ality and Right-eousness. Our growth has got stuck in an endless loop of feedback.
Infinition, on the other hand, is the antithesis of Definition. There are no boundaries, no limits. No pigeonholes, no "understanding". Infinition opens to the possibility of Wisdom. Infinition is satisfied to experience the experience, rather than waste time trying to understand it. e.g. As a lad, I could have read and understood all the books in the world about Balance, but I still would not have been able to ride a bike. To do that, I had to get on it and go for a ride. To live life, all you have to do is get on and go for the ride. Experiencing is the prize; understanding is the booby-prize. That is Wisdom
In Infinition, there is no judgmental discrimination: only simple Awareness. Innocence (I-know- sense). No criticism; nothing to get defensive about. There is Openness to Possibiility.
Infinition is a context. It allows Definition to exist -- unmolested. The Infinite is always greater than the Finite.
The end results are Polarity, Position-ality and Right-eousness. Our growth has got stuck in an endless loop of feedback.
Infinition, on the other hand, is the antithesis of Definition. There are no boundaries, no limits. No pigeonholes, no "understanding". Infinition opens to the possibility of Wisdom. Infinition is satisfied to experience the experience, rather than waste time trying to understand it. e.g. As a lad, I could have read and understood all the books in the world about Balance, but I still would not have been able to ride a bike. To do that, I had to get on it and go for a ride. To live life, all you have to do is get on and go for the ride. Experiencing is the prize; understanding is the booby-prize. That is Wisdom
In Infinition, there is no judgmental discrimination: only simple Awareness. Innocence (I-know- sense). No criticism; nothing to get defensive about. There is Openness to Possibiility.
Infinition is a context. It allows Definition to exist -- unmolested. The Infinite is always greater than the Finite.
OPINIONS
We all have opinions on just about everything; and we treasure those opinions more highly than life itself.
Do you want to know how important your opinions really are? Here is a simple test you can do to find out.......
Get the message.
Do you want to know how important your opinions really are? Here is a simple test you can do to find out.......
.......One night, preferably moonless, go to a secluded place in the open, look up at the stars, and give them your opinions on anything and everything. Really put them out there! Go for broke (hence the advice to go somewhere isolated, otherwise the neighbours might call 000.)
Give it all you've got -- loud and passionate.
When you're finally done, watch very carefully and observe how much the universe around you moves as a result of your opinions.
Give it all you've got -- loud and passionate.
When you're finally done, watch very carefully and observe how much the universe around you moves as a result of your opinions.
Get the message.
-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
And it is also true that there is a magic about you for which the universe will move.
But it doesn't lie anywhere near your beliefs, concepts or opinions -- or anyone else's either.
And it is also true that there is a magic about you for which the universe will move.
But it doesn't lie anywhere near your beliefs, concepts or opinions -- or anyone else's either.
GROUPS
Selfishness prevails over altruism within any group.
But altruistic groups, sooner or later, prevail over selfish groups.
Everything else is just so much opinion.
But altruistic groups, sooner or later, prevail over selfish groups.
Everything else is just so much opinion.
Monday, July 16, 2007
HAPPINESS
Happiness is that which remains after suffering is dropped. Happiness is the absence of Unhappiness.
Like the sun on a cloudy day, Happiness may be obscured from time to time, but it never goes away. It is available, whenever we're ready to change our point of view.
Why are we so reluctant to drop our suffering and experience happiness? What is the payoff supposed to be for withholding from our own happiness and wellbeing?
Hmmmmm?
Who do we think we're controlling by being unhappy?
Sit on that and ponder awhile.
Like the sun on a cloudy day, Happiness may be obscured from time to time, but it never goes away. It is available, whenever we're ready to change our point of view.
Why are we so reluctant to drop our suffering and experience happiness? What is the payoff supposed to be for withholding from our own happiness and wellbeing?
Hmmmmm?
Who do we think we're controlling by being unhappy?
Sit on that and ponder awhile.
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