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Saturday, February 06, 2010

LIVING IN A STATE OF COMPLETENESS

Worry looks ahead -- negatively
Sorry looks backwards -- negatively
Completeness looks only at Here/Now -- gratefully.


Ahhh! The blessed relief of completing something over which you have been sweating hard and long!! You cease efforting, lean back, take a deep breather, relax a little, maybe stand up and stretch tired and cramped muscles. You might take a little walk to get sluggish circulation going again, and celebrate your self with a refreshing drink. Your mind puts down its load. You feel re-created, lighter, freer and more alive. You feel a restorative sense of accomplishment, satisfaction and renewal. The harder the task has been, the more intensely you feel the relief of Completing. Completing feels good!!

So why don't we do it more often? Maybe because we don't realise the opportunities that are available for completing. We spend so much of our thinking time either mired in the past, or wrestling with an imagined future that we miss the bliss of simply being - complete - in the present moment, where everything is perfect.

I notice this particularly with callers who ring in the small hours of the morning suffering from Insomnia. They simply have not been able to draw a line under the day before going to bed, thus missing out on the restorative powers of healthy sleep. In deep sleep, our conscious minds take a much-needed rest, giving our subconscious minds time and space to catch up on the pile in the in-tray, and work on unresolved problems in the background -- sorting out confusion, untying knots and dissolving tension and hardness. When we deprive ourselves of that time of re-creation, each new day begins with a backlog of unsorted stuff from yesterday, increasing the load and lowering our spirit before we even get up. Weary and uptight, we get upset and disheartened, adding to the load we carry for the day. Take a few years of that downward spiral of rising uncompleted business and gathering anxiety and we may find ourself in a condition we label "depression".

In healthy sleep we are able to bypass what I call "The Horizon Effect" that often afflicts our waking moments. We are all familiar with the feeling of striving for some particular goal, only to find that, like the horizon, it always seems just as far away and out of reach, no matter how hard we go at it. In REM sleep we suffer no such limitations.

The key to being able to return to this healthy re-processing state is to reconnect with our ability to Complete. Notice how carefully I choose my words here; the ability to complete is something we already have. All we need do is reconnect with it.

Every moment, unadorned, is complete just as it is. What gets in the way of our seeing that is our mind. Mind cannot be in the present; the present is a state of No-Mind. By the time mind has noticed anything and started to evaluate it, it is no longer alive. It is a dead thing of the past.

Mind is OK for an occasional visit, but to camp there permanently is a waste of Now-time, and a health hazard. Mind is a right-saying machine for superimposing its own favourite ideas, concepts, conditions, expectations and limitations onto something that has piqued its attention. Your Mind and mine even have their favourite concepts of what Completion should look, sound and feel like. But those concepts are not based on any knowledge: Mind has never known completion because it has never been here/now. Pure awareness, however, has never been anywhere else. Any time we want to experience completeness, all we need do is give our attention to something -- it doesn't matter what -- here and now. Just notice something; it doesn't matter what. The act of noticing brings you to the present. Then move on to notice something else before Mind can jump in and start thinking about what you've noticed.

In the Now moment, Completeness is a fact. The fact of Completeness and the feeling of Completeness are not interdependent. Whether or not we FEEL complete, everything is always and ever Complete and Perfect. All we need do is hook into that.

Every Now moment marks the beginning of something as yet unrealised, the middle of something else ongoing, and the end of something else again. Always. If we can allow for that, even as a possibility, we need not go searching for what that finished thing might be -- in fact I'd even go so far as to say it's probably a good idea if we don't. To do so we have to leave the Now moment to dredge around the dead past, and if we find what was completed, we automatically un-complete it again. Let go what has gone. Let it go, and let go again, and again, and again........

I see a shade of difference in meaning between Completing and Finishing. Some unfinished tasks can be completed -- in their unfinished state -- at any time, rather like a bookkeeper draws a line under transactions and balances the books up to that point of time: the unfinished process can continue next day, next week, next year. But the moment of completion allows us to take a break and take stock. It allows for a time of renewal within an ongoing enterprise. and it can be done at any time without hindering the process. While as yet unfinished processes roll on, their present state is complete in and of itself.

Completing as a verb is part of an ongoing cosmic process. The universe, and everything within it is a self-completing organism/environment. I think this fact goes a long way to making sense of the fundamental human urge to realise our unfulfilled potential. All suffering arises from the gap between our situation as we see it to be, and how we sense it could be.

Let's assume for a few moments that we may be part of a universal process of all creation continually completing itself. Maybe we realise we've not reached our potential by a long shot, and we're trying to beat the race, without having any clear idea of what our potential might actually be, because we have some very limited ideas about that, too. I'll come back to that in a moment.

If life had a purpose beyond the experience of living itself, I suspect that purpose would be to complete itself. And I see it already doing that.

Completeness is the alignment of all things in perfect balance. It already is; it does not have to be created, found or reached -- only realised. The process of Completing involves taking a moment to see the balance

What is -- is --

"What-Is" is complete in and of itself. If we add anything at all after the great "Is", then we make the completeness incomplete. We are allowed to do that. The creation of an imbalance makes for great adventures and learning experiences. But when we want to rest and get our bearings, we are challenged to let go of the suffering and remember the overriding Balance of it all.

Completeness doesn't have a mould. There is no model for completeness. It cannot be recognised, because it does not look quite like anything that has ever gone before.

In both the past and the future there is always unfinished business. We sometimes dream about a heaven of completeness and go through the hell of striving towards attaining conditions that will supposedly give that to us. ("When I do this or get that, I will be happy.") It never works, because Completeness cannot be manufactured or reached; it can only ever be found in the present moment.

We exist in order to exercise our Mastery, and actualise the deepest desires of our hidden heart. Every time we experience a fundamental desire being satisfied, we realise that, although we have limitations, they are not who we are and we don't have to live inside them. [I have a set of house keys, and I carry them around with me, but they are not who I am. I am the person who has them.] When we truly get the distinction between what we are, and our stuff -- we begin to feel a sense of completeness.

Between Desire and Fulfillment there is usually a boundary. We refuse to experience Fulfillment until we our fixed conditions on what constitutes Fulfillment are met. The problem is that those fixed ideas on what constitutes proof of fulfillment prevent us from getting it. We are caught in the complexity of our addictions to particular outcomes. We are blinded to the possibilities of satisfaction available in other outcomes. The purpose of Desire is to free us from limitations, but we somehow have managed to subvert that purpose to the opposite effect.

How do we free our Desire Nature, and drop being so addictive and complicated about how we want things to be?

Whenever I give attention to the Inner Boss -- that voice that always thinks it knows better, the voice that constantly criticises me, the world and everybody else, I lose the totalness of Completeness that I once used to enjoy as a child. The treasure of Completeness still exists, but it lies long-buried under the rubble and dust of failure and disappointment. Somewhere along the way I bought the oft-repeated notion that there was definitely something wrong with me. I lost contact with my Contented Child and became a Lost Adult, tormented by the stereophonic voices of an equally lost Topdog and a resentful little Underdog -- the two-headed monster of my Ego. I put this never-satisfied, discontented Tyrant/Victim in charge of my life the day I sold out on the Completeness in order to smarten up, grow up, and fix everything that appeared to be wrong with me.

That decision can now be reversed. It is the "how" of regaining completeness and contentment that puts most people off.

The principle is simple:-

The Destination is the Journey

If we want Completeness and Contentment tomorrow, we begin by creating it today. This is the hardest part because it is very much about giving up trying to make my life go however it should be, and learning Mastery -- the art of starting from where I am, allowing life to be as it is and of riding it creatively. However I see myself now, however short of some ideal standard I may feel I fall, moment-by-moment urges to resist it being that way have to be replaced by moment-by-moment choices to unconditionally accept the way I see it. There is nothing wrong. Nothing is missing. In this moment. everything is complete. God that has to be the hardest message for me to get! It is, however, my choice to give up trying to change, and accept the possibility that this is perfect as it is -- a necessary step on the way through my transformation. The challenge is to give up preconceived notions of how I think it ought to be, and get creative with the way it is. Out of this relaxing, other possibilities begin to present themselves.

Most people are concerned about getting a balance right -- how much to give and how much to expect from life. " Am I a sucker?..... a second-chance Charlie? Am I being used? Am I loved enough? Am I being appreciated? Paid enough? I think they are the wrong questions -- red herrings that distract us from the main game. They arise from a parent belief in Scarcity and Limitedness.

I invite you, instead, to stand in three related questions..........
  • Am I prepared to be the whole of that which I wanted only a part?
  • Am I prepared to say "Yes" to a nature that wants to give us everything? {Don't be too hasty in answering this one. Think of all the things you say "No"to!]
  • Am I prepared to give up saying "No" to whatever comes along?
Does your rational mind at this moment have trouble embracing the concept of "having everything"? You're not alone. "No, I'd be happy with $200,000 and a new partner." ....."I'd be happy just to get this problem out of the way." Every mind shrinks Abundance to its particular Level of Acceptance. It constricts our ability to manifest to its own Level of Awareness.

We live in a Scarcity Consciousness, aided and abetted by people, governments and corporations who get very rich and powerful by limiting our access. They can only succeed, however, because we are complicit in the lie. Every mind (including yours and mine) has a Level of Awareness that shrinks both what we think we have got, and what we think we can have. That is what minds do. Minds doubt. Doubts form the main boundaries that enclose us in a narrowed consciousness -- fortifications that we have put into place and must demolish if we are to access the infinite resources that are freely available.

As we expand beyond our mind's doubts and self-limitations we begin to see that Having Everything does not necessarily mean that we win the Jackpot Lottery and we get a mansion on the Gold Coast and 7 Rolls-Royces in the garage.... although that possibility isn't ruled out either. What is guaranteed is that we always have had. now do have, and always will have everything we need in each moment of our particular life journey. Even most of those living on the Gold Coast in opulent luxury don't get to experience that kind of Abundance.

A perception of having everything we need is an expression of completeness and inner freedom.

There are some things I desire which, at my age, I'm rather pleased I'm still capable of desiring. I may not be able to accomplish them, but the desire is joy enough. If I could have got this ability to enjoy desire for its own sake earlier on in life, I'm sure I could have avoided a lot of heartache. When we can enjoy all that we are and have now for its own sake, we touch Completeness. We have everything. In hindsight now I realise that a lot of what I wanted in the old days may have eluded my grasp because I was so hooked on the Desire for it.

Any attachment to a goal, a condition or a particular outcome is a limitation that separates us from the source of the desire. The Desire cannot be completed. It may be gratifying to get what we want, but nothing that is conditional or has conditions hanging off it can be satisfying and complete. To be complete, we must drop all conditions (including the condition that life have no conditions).

We already have something far more precious -- our Self. Anything we emotionally attach to is not What -We-Are. When we attach to our ego, or anything it invests itself in, we lose touch with That-Which-We-Are. We become incomplete.

When we experience ourself truly as someone who accepts everything unconditionally, then we experience ourself as having everything -- complete.

SOME SIGNS & SYMPTOMS OF COMPLETENESS
  • An infectious tendency to think and act spontaneously, rather than out of habits. Here's a question for you to stand in -- What is the difference?
  • An unmistakable propensity to uncritically enjoy the moment.
  • A gradual waning of interest in evaluating or judging situations, events, other people or your self.
  • A loss of urge to critically interpret the actions of others.
  • A loss of interest in conflict, either as a participant or a spectator. A corresponding reduction in the volume and intensity of in-your-face hostility showing up in other people.
  • A loss of propensity for worry.
  • Frequent and sometimes overwhelming bouts of appreciation for very simple delights.
  • An increasing frequency of feelings of connectedness with others, with your inner self, and with nature. A blurring of the boundaries that formerly separated them.
  • Frequent attacks of spontaneous smiling, and occasional gales of hearty laughter provoked by a seeing of the funny side of being human.
  • A marked toning down of the hostility, unkindness and resistance that formerly characterised our inner dialogue.
  • An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others, whatever form that love might take. This extension of capacity is mirrored by a corresponding urge to pass the love on to others.
  • A discovery in experience of Satisfaction, and a decreasing interest in Gratification.
INCOMPLETENESS & DISSATISFACTION

Incompleteness is merely a limited (and limiting) point of view, usually adopted as some kind of goad to whip you into a state of completeness. Such an approach to life is highly unlikely to succeed, because it ignores at least two laws of life that say "Where you come from is where you're going to," and "You will reap what you sow." If you come from Incompleteness and Dissatisfaction, then that's the road you're going, and it won't get you to the Emerald city. The road you take IS the destination. Similarly, changing the metaphor, if you sow thistles, you get thistles come harvest time. It would seem self-evident that it's not a bright idea to court and cultivate the opposite of what we want in order to get what we want, but we all do it to a greater or lesser extent. How come?

One explanation is that we don't know what we want. I may lust after $3 million in blue-chip investments to keep me fed and clothed, a log cabin retreat in the Byron Bay hinterland, a couple of Mercedes -- one for town and one for the bush, and a Winnebago motor home to get around the country. There's no law that says I cannot have them. But they haven't shown up yet, perhaps because they are not what I'm really after; they may be a code for something else. Maybe I'm looking for security, physical comfort, and a bit of adventure. Well all those are available to me right now, if I'm prepared to be a little flexible on how I get them. My main point now is that it really helps if we can boil our desires down to what we really want, give up our ideas about "how", and do the work.

Another reason why I don't have them is that I've allowed myself to be sidetracked by other priorities and spent my money on other things. It's good to know that you have other priorities, to know what they are, and where they fit in the overall hierarchy of your desires.

Yet another reason why my wishlist doesn't show up may be more psycho-illogical. Perhaps I secretly don't want my yearnings to be satisfied because I've become addicted to the yearning. Or maybe in not getting what I want, I hope to manipulate someone either to give me what I want, or feel guilty because they treated me so badly that I've turned out a "failure". Or yet again, I may use feelings of dissatisfaction as proof to myself that "I'm not good enough..." If all of this stuff sounds loony, you may be surprised to learn that the dynamics I speak of apply to a lot more than material wants, and are a lot more common than you may realise. A condition of Incompleteness can be created to control and manipulate someone or something else.

OUR LIMITING BELIEFS

Underlying all feelings of dissatisfaction and incompleteness lie some limiting beliefs that are corrupting all our efforts to live more abundantly. If you want to find out what they are -- it's not hard.Here's one DIY exercise that works for me.....

The next time you catch yourself getting bent a bit out of shape, or having a wee whine, or feeling sorry for yourself about something or other, grab a piece of paper and ask yourself --

What kind of beliefs would someone have to have
That this would be their experience?

Think about yourself in the third person, as a good friend that you know well. The beliefs can be about anything at all -- about himself, about others, or about the way life is. Whatever occurs to you, no matter how illogical it may seem, jot it down. There cannot be any wrong answers to such a question. Don't censor or evaluate anything on any grounds whatsoever. That is so important. This is a treasure hunt, a process of self-discovery, not a therapy session And don't stop at two or three. Give yourself time. The really important ones often prove to be some way down the list. Aim to have at least 10 on your list: more is better.

Don't force this exercise. Let the "answers" come in their own good time. It's a good idea to leave the question open for several days: have the paper handy to jot down anything that comes to mind. Remain aware of any emotions, images or other memories that come up. Don't do anything with them; just notice them. Nothing is off-limits. Nothing is irrelevant. Nothing is wrong.

When you do finally review your list, it's possible that one or two beliefs may leap off the page at you, or encompass some of the others. Just notice that much. These may well turn out to be Controlling or Organising Beliefs that define and limit you and your life in some way. See whatever you see. Notice whatever you notice. Feel whatever you feel. And allow everything to be the way that it is. Nothing needs to be changed. Nothing needs to be fixed. As each new thing comes to light, allow it to take it's place in the Completeness of everything. Let it fill out the picture. Nature wants you to be and to have everything. Yes -- every thing! It's the things you say "No" to that clog up the works for you. The problem is that we arrogantly think we know best what is good for us. If there is anything we are saying "No" to, then Completeness is going to elude us. Nature indulgently smiles, shrugs her shoulders and takes her goodies elsewhere, where they're appreciated.

Being complete is, first and foremost, a matter of consciousness. Whether or not it happens in reality is, in a sense, irrelevant. Of course I'd rather be money-rich than poor, but there is never and end to it. There is never "enough" for the human ego. On the false promise that it will let you feel better when it gets what it wants, ego always wants more of something. The trick is to be OK that it is that way. We will never feel satisfied and complete with getting everything until we first learn to feel satisfied and complete with what we've got. The irony is that, when we're complete with what we've got, getting or not-getting more is no longer a matter of any great concern. In my travels around the world I have seen people well endowed with this world's goods who are happy, and those who are suffering. Likewise, I have seen people with nothing to speak of who are happy, and those who suffer. In my own life I have been both rich and poor. How happy and complete I feel has ever had anything whatever to do with my physical, financial or social circumstances.

YOU -- CREATOR!!

How many of You are there?

In every role you play, you display a differing mix of qualities, characteristics and impressions. You are not one person: you are many. There is You --

  • As Husband/Wife
  • As Parent
  • As Child/Son/Daughter
  • As your career role
  • As your social roles
  • As Friend..........
...... and so it goes. In every one of the roles you play, you have a distinct identity that you have invested a lot of your time and energy in creating, modifying and maintaining. Each identity defines your self-image, your cache of formative experiences, your hierarchy of values and your behaviour while you are engaged in it. Switching from role to role, you relate to those around you quite differently. You are a creative actor, adopting a range of characters and improvising. You can switch between your creations with remarkable rapidity -- in a split second if needs be -- but you cannot play two roles at once (only God can do that).

At one level of consciousness, these roles are real. At times of great stress, they could not feel more real! At another level of awareness, however, they are fictitious fantasies -- superstitions. Their power over us lies in the extent to which we believe them to be real.

At this heightened level of awareness there are no "you's", there are no "me's", there aren't even any "us's"; there is only One. The One that is All. The totality of all living experiences is having the experience of being both "you" and "me". In this realisation lies our power, the power to heal the dis-eases of separation, the power to access all that is known, the power to master (not control) our own destiny, the power to make a difference. The realisation of this Oneness can be accessed by unconditionally embracing all of the "Me's" that we think we are. The choice to adopt a state of unconditional, forgiving lovingness leads to a space of being where all that is left to us is to surrender to being just as we are, and just as it is. That is Completeness in action. In this final resting place is where new life begins.

You are, among all those other things, the sole Creator of your experience.

Sit for a moment with that........

Now sit with this possibility........ Your individual role on this earth is to manifest certain desires and experiences that are available from the smorgasboord of being human at this time. Which desires? Which experiences? The ones you have. No need to go looking for alternatives; these are the ones you came for. Why do you avoid what you came for? What you're looking for lies within the challenges that confront you. You are already attaining what you came here for. Everything you created is happening. Everything you need next is available. What is stopping you? Some voice inside you that cries "No. not this!" It is a false voice. Don't be discouraged; even Jesus Christ had trouble with it. Trust the process that has got you this far. It will not abandon you.

When you surrender to What-Is, your perception of yourself as Creator expands until you realise that all your best lessons in the past came from troubled times that you willingly engaged with, and everything you needed at the time was available to you precisely when you needed it. That will always be so, provided you are willing. This realisation leads to a perception of complete perfection.

You have complete free will. All possibilities are open to you. No power is greater than your true Self. These things are so. But you can keep telling your self those truisms until you're blue in the face; it won't make them so in your experience. Such verbal affirmations just pump up bubbles in your deflating ego. they have no lasting substance. Free will, infinite possibility, dominion and completeness only show up in a level of being beyond ego, where you shift your point of view and choose to allow the present to reveal itself to you differently.

We can begin this shift by surrendering creatively to the present, acknowledging that it is the way that it is, and our perceptions of it are the way that they are, and by embracing the possibility that, as uncomfortable as it might be, there is something vital to be gained from it, and it is needed for the growth that we desire. It is perfect that it is this way. Life is working for us.

We have tried conquering the undesirable. We have tried engineering for success. And we have come a cropper, thanks to hidden beliefs and mindsets that now call to be brought out into the light (ie. "enlightened")

There is work to be done. For example, I am financially poor. If someone gives me money, I can pay my bills, but I will not automatically be released from the conditioned mindsets that created my fiscal poverty. If, however, I come by the money via a process that increases my self-awareness and "enlightens" and motivates me to redefine the dynamics that are holding me back, my experience of poverty is likely to become a thing of the past. As tough or as easy as this process might be, it is perfect in and of itself, perfectly timed, perfectly appropriate and complete in this moment. There is nothing missing. If my current situation is catastrophic, it may be because there are lessons I have been ignoring to the point where it is taking a stick of dynamite to get my attention.

Completeness arises from choosing to embrace what we get when we get it.

Completeness is getting to know who and what you are and making each new discovery OK.

Completeness is saying "Yes" to all that happens in this world, then working effectively with anything that can be worked with, both "out there" and "in here". All transformation begins, oddly enough, with saying "Yes" to everything, even things that are blocking change. When that idea was first proposed to me, I resisted it. "There's something I want to change so I have to say "Yes" to it!!?? That's arrant nonsense! It flies in the face of common sense!" Then I began to look back and realised that my resistance to things had never changed them, or me, one bit! It also occurred to me that, in saying "No" to any part of Abundance, I might be repelling the whole of it. Maybe there was something to this absurdity. I gave it a try. In most cases nothing changed, but my life was somehow transformed around it; I got happier. Then one day I realised that what I had been resisting was no longer my enemy. I don't recall when that particular bogeyman disappeared, but I just noticed one day he wasn't there any more.

I worked out that, in first allowing, then embracing life circumstances I don't like, I transform my experience of them and my relationship to them. Whether the circumstances change or not, changing the quality of my relationship to them means I never have to suffer the same way over them ever again. When we no longer resist, things don't persist.

This ability we have to alter our experience of a given condition is the essence of Mastery and the doorway to Completeness. Whatever is happening, first welcome and choose it.

If you want what you get, you will always get what you want.

Being complete is THE natural state, and far more enjoyable than any of its alternatives. It brings a lightness, a carefree surrender, gratitude and even celebration to your life.

UNITY & WHOLENESS

Anyone who has the tiniest speck of self-awareness is heading, however haltingly, toward a perception of Wholeness and Completeness. I know only too well that sometimes it doesn't feel like that. It can feel as if you are falling apart, and that can be truly scary. At such times it can be very helpful to have someone by your side -- someone who has been where you are -- to reassure you that you are really OK and that the process of dis-integration is actually creative. What's going on is that something that has ceased to work is undergoing a radical transformation. Years of changes, plug-ins and add-ons have produced something of a dog's breakfast that has slowed you down and finally produced a system crash. Your person-ality is being dis-assembled so that it can be re-assembled in a more productive way. Take heart; the process is creative. You are OK. The process knows what to do; you do not need to intervene. Allow what is happening and support yourself with healthy eating, drinking and sleeping regimes. Get supportive help from someone who knows in experience what is happening. Most of the discomfort you are feeling is due to your ego's resistance to the renovations. Resistance to anything ramps up the pain level -- next time you have a flu shot, relax your muscles instead of bracing against the anticipated pain; you'll find it won't be anywhere near as painful. Allow Let it be OK that this is how it is for now. It will pass. And this experience here/now is necessary to get you where you want to go.

To "complete" with any one or situation is to let it be just as it is and give it a deep, unconditional OK, to declare your relationship with that person or event whole -- nothing missing, nothing to be changed. Wholeness and Completeness are interchangeable labels for the same experience.

Wholeness is a state of overall embrace, a deep appreciation of all experience, and a growing sense of pure, unjudgmental awareness. In a state of Wholeness and Completeness, we still see the differences and the possibilities for improvement (unfinished business), but at the same time we see the wholesomeness and perfection of this place along the way of becoming, and of the environment that holds it all together.

I find it difficult to perceive Wholeness when I.m trying to "get better" and "grow". That betrays a lurking implication that the present is incomplete and not-quite-there-yet. That happens when I slip into an old habit of thinking that life is about getting better, gaining more wisdom, more maturity, more calmness..... more anything. I need to remind myself that renovations happen as a consequence of waking up from one state of reality to the next, and the next, and so on. Life is about being reborn every moment from one state of perfection to the next. It's about giving up struggle and aggressive defensiveness in favour of becoming spontaneous and vulnerable. That's hard to do, because we've bought the lie that vulnerability equates with powerlessness. Nothing could be further from the truth. Vulner-ability is a precursor to all transformation, Mastery, beauty and freedom from fear.

How do you feel about this kind of freedom? Is it too much? Is it too scary?

One of the reasons we cannot see the true nature of things as they are is because we have given way to the habit of grasping after things that we like and rejecting things that we don't like. We segregate experiences, reject anything that doesn't fit our particular idea of what's acceptable, and then wonder why we feel split apart. Completeness does not lie at either extreme of a scale; it does not even lie anywhere between. It is the whole scale. The easiest place to access that totality is to find the balance point in the middle, and say "Yes" to both sides. Your mind may go crazy, but you won't die. On the contrary, you may begin to live.

At the entry-level of consciousness, Discrimination is a vital survival tool and part of the experience of being human. But at higher levels of awareness it becomes a liability. How do we live with that dichotomy? Firstly, by NOT discriminating against our need to discriminate. Like everything else we encounter in our life -- "It is just so." We are saints and sinners, higher and lower, roses and thorns. We love and are indifferent. We are both our positive and negative self-image. Life is a mystery and we are part of that mystery. All mystery offers to be embraced and experienced in its totality; not dissected, sorted out and solved.

This may not be the wisest thing I have ever done but, by way of example, I am prompted here to share with you my Positive and Negative Self-Images. This is how I see the "I" and the "Me" I have created myself to be:---

Positively ---
  • I am a responsible, allowing, caring courageous, playful adventurer, and an open, innocent, intelligent, gentle explorer.
Negatively ---
  • I am an irresponsible, incapable, selfish, addictive, callous, cowardly bully; a closed-off, stupid, narrow-minded, guilty, intolerant bigot; a phony, deluded, head-fucking bore, and an arrogant, controlling, dogmatic, sadistic, style-less, win-by-losing user.
I am all of that. (And those of you who know me will probably be nodding your heads in agreement at some aspects that you have encountered in your experience of me.)

However, every one of the above qualities -- positive and negative -- is a self-imposed judgment, not a fact. But I can no longer afford to resist or avoid any part of it. What I can do is give up the struggle of hiding what I don't like. It no longer matters. I no longer need to know why I am the way that I am. I'm happy to be the riddle -- the mystery, and to experience once again -- this time consciously -- the completeness of it all. Theories, beliefs, attitudes, opinions still crank away, but only as part of a wider truth that has become more important -- the whole of that which is so.

What has happened since I began making my self-image OK is nothing short of a miracle. To the extent that I make my self-judgments (positive and negative) OK, I become free of their hold over me! I no longer HAVE to be that way. Other options present themselves.

We can never get to know the real nature of anything by resisting or attempting to avoid any part of it. Now some people can be quite happy with a reduced existence, and there is nothing wrong with that. I once said to my mother -- not long before she died, "There were too many unanswered questions in the life you proposed for me." She replied, "You father and I had no need to ask those questions." And that worked for her, and for many like her. She was as happy as she wanted to be, and I decided there and then that I had no right to interfere with that. But for me.......... it was a different story. I wanted to know more. I was just compulsively curious. (And for quite a time I believed that there was some kind of salvation in suffering -- silly me!)

In a state of Completeness, what we behold in all directions is our own awareness. Creation becomes a mirror, showing us to our selves.

A world suffused with your awareness becomes indescribably intimate to you. Without stretching out a hand you can feel the texture and smell the aroma of a distant object. Touching a tree or a star becomes a sensuous experience. Since everything in creation is basically thought-organised, there is nothing in creation that is not your Self. You, me, and the tree outside are all of the same Thought. Just organised a little differently, that's all. Just ask any geneticist.

If I may use an analogy --

Imagine an Antarctic explorer brewing a billy of tea. He is surrounded by many manifestations of the one thing -- H2O. There is the water in the billy, the steam rising from it, the snow underneath, the ice below that again, the ocean on the horizon, the clouds drifting above...... Each has its own special characteristic and ways of behaving --- soft, hard, hot, cold, light, heavy, blue, white, clear, visible, invisible, fluid, gaseous, solid, flowing, floating, moving, inert...... these are all different manifestations of one basic substance -- H2O. Because of what he knows, the explorer can manipulate some of these forms into others. By applying a bit of heat he can make ice into water, water into steam, steam into vapour clouds......

The State of Completeness and Unity goes one better. And this is the kernel of my message here. Any aspect of reality can be strengthened or changed, by playing with the fundamental level of Awareness that ties all of creation together -- Pure Thought. In a single, breathtaking stroke you realise that, by changing your consciousness and knowing that the world is made of the same stuff as your mind, your world changes when you change your mind. Experiences evolve from the level of conscious thought that gave rise to them. Low-level consciousness = low-level experiences. Higher-level consciousness > Higher-level experiences.

From this heightened state of awareness we can see that there is no longer a "pathway" to anything. There is no need of it. "The Path" is a creation of our ego/mind; the one that separates and creates boundaries between "here" and "there", "you" and "me". To this ego, a path is always sought to connect what it has separated. There is no pathway to what you want because it is already here, at the subtle level where Self sees Itself. The Self I speak of here is the pure, silent Awareness that watches with detached interest all that is going on in and around each of us. The relationship between Me and That-Which-I-Am is far too close to leave any room for a path. The apparent separation disappears when we say "Yes" to the whole of it.

Say "Yes"". Could it get any simpler? Could it be any more difficult? For over four decades I came from presumptions that proved in daily practice to be decidedly shaky, convincing myself that "Oh well, one day this will work." It took calamity to make me realise, "This isn't working!" Only then did people show up in my life who challenged me to drop some of my pet assumptions and, without prior proof, try some new ones. I now challenge you to try another presumption. not because it is "right", but because it may give you a different outlook, a different viewpoint, a different perspective. Try this.......

Presume that the experiences you are having right now, and your relationship to those experiences (ie. how you think, feel about and react to them) ARE the very truth of yourself. A friend of mine with whom I travelled for a while once said, "You know, when I started on this I thought I'd become a better person." I think he nailed it. This isn't about becoming a better person. We have tried to become better, faster and smarter. That produced small, incremental benefits, but nothing in the way of the major shift we were looking for.

Presume instead that Change is not the way to transformation, and start door-knocking right there.

Being complete does not have a template. There is no pre-existing model for it. My present experience IS what it means to be Complete -- for me -- at this moment. Your present experience -- whatever it is -- no matter how valid or invalid -- is what Being Complete means for you at this moment. Our experiences are the answers to questions we may not remember having asked. Say "Yes" to that possibility and start from here/now.

Being Complete is not something to think or do. It is about stopping thinking and doing out of a consciousness of "incompleteness"; letting go of a habit of trying to make up for some supposed defects in the current situation. Completeness is the potential or state of being in which we think, feel and do whatever we think, feel and do without remonstration or sense of lack. Completeness is a state of being characterised by a lack of incompleteness. Even feelings of incompleteness, if that is what you have, are allowed to complete that experience.

Completeness is not something to be learned; it is what we become. We forge a connection with all that is in such intimacy that It's breath is our breath; It's life is our life. We are many, and we are One.

Just let go of the need to change something. I know that is the opposite of what appears to be common sense. It is. That's the whole point. If you keep doing what you're doing, you'll keep getting what you've got. Just stop. Put down your sword and shield, and take a break.

Yearning to be complete leaves us ......... yearning to be complete. We crave evidence of our completeness, and go looking for it from incomplete others and from our incomplete interpretation of our circumstances. Yearning for anything separates us from a state where it already exists. We ARE complete. Yearning may get us started on a journey of discovery, but it must be dropped. Otherwise we run in tight little circles around the starting line.

Completeness is a realisation life bestows on us as we dare to live closer and closer to the unknown in each moment. We willingly deliver ourselves up to an experience, demand-free. This is where we welcome, and are content to let be, all mystery, contradiction and paradox. Those riddles invite us deeper and deeper into what is unknown. This is the Great Gift of being human.

Every time we come to the immediacy of Now, the being of Completeness comes to us as a benediction.

CREATING THE SHIFT IN AWARENESS

How do we set up for the shift in awareness that brings about Completeness, Freedom and Power?
  1. Let your Desires flow freely. Don't let them get snagged on yearning or doubt.
  2. As much as you can, live contentedly in the present moment. Keep coming back to Now every time you notice you've strayed into the past or the future. Don't chide yourself for that. Some habits take time to replace with new ones. That's just the way it is sometimes. Let that be so, too.
  3. When things don't go as you think they should, let go the "shoulds". Let What-Is take precedence over What-Isn't.
  4. Relinquish any attachment to particular results.
The only real obstacle to freedom is our enslavement to ideas that keep us small, incomplete, insignificant and helpless. Every consciousness (Victim or Master) fulfills its own expectations. That is Law. Ignorance of Ruthless Rules of Reality like this one does not vaccinate you from their influence. You may not know about Newton's Law of Gravity, but that isn't going to protect you if you jump off a roof. You may not know Einstein's Theory of Relativity, but that isn't going to affect the speed at which light finds you. If you are ignorant of the whole nature of your Self, then a false self jumps into the CEO's chair and shrinks you to its ideas and beliefs about yourself. We all know that one!

We have resisted and denied suffering in the past in order to avoid it. Right? Well, how well has that worked for you? Me neither. For any person engaged in strong denials of pain, anger, fear, guilt etc. there awaits only more pain, anger, fear, guilt etc. (Another Ruthless Rule of Reality -- "Whatever you resist -- persists.") Any move we make to avoid pain will hurt. Every move we make to avoid anger will annoy. Any move we make to avoid danger will expose us to calamity. It seems we just can't get enough of what we don't want! Maybe it's time to examine presumptions we may have around avoiding, resisting and denying. Maybe there's something there we got wrong. Ignorance is the most circular of all circular traps.

Awareness, on the other hand, is the source of all healing. It's that simple. Be aware. As Colin Hayes often said -- "The seeing is the movement." Become aware, and be honest about your awareness. Inner Awareness is "I am" without the "I", a sense of "am-ness" that no-one and no-thing can sacrifice or destroy. This seed of "being-ness", beyond language, beyond thinking, beyond feeling deep inside is something we all have. We just don't go there very often. And that's a great pity, because it is truly who we are. And it is the genesis of all evolution.

1. Let Desire Flow Freely

Electricity isn't intrinsically good or bad, but we can do some pretty constructive and destructive things with it. Of itself Desire isn't either good or bad either. At my age there are some desires I'm very satisfied to still have, whether they get gratified or not! I don't claim any moral superiority for this lucky happenstance; I can thank advancing years, diabetes and depression for some help here. What I can see in hindsight is that an insistence on getting my Desires gratified lured me into a number of addictive traps, which could then make Desire my enemy. Desire becomes subverted when we allow it to take control.

A Desire for more out of life is perfectly natural, and a useful catalyst for growth . When our desires match up with real needs, we get a sense that, if desire is what we have right now, then desire is what we need. That's it. Desire for its own sake. Stripped of all complexities, pure desire is nothing more than an expansion of some real need. An addiction is a distorted substitute for a real, legitimate need (how's that for an understatement?)

Desires arise so that we can learn more about the nature of our true selves (true and false selves). Since our true Self is totally free, unbounded, fulfilled and blissful, natural desires move in that direction. All our squirming, hurting, conniving, hiding and hollering to avoid our experience of What-Is arises initially from a natural desire to be totally free. But we get scared that we won't be able to handle that experience, and addictive about avoiding the inherent lesson and the whole process gets bent out of shape. So, instead of freely letting our Desire to be Free run unimpeded by any necessity to do something about it, we get involved in trying to make something happen. We look outside ourselves rather than within. We avoid and manipulate instead of engage and embrace the feelings. In order to be free, we un-free ourselves.

Our conscious desires are often codes for something unconscious. I'd love an E-Class Mercedes Cabriolet. But is that really my primary desire, or will it become the Merc's job to deliver me something even closer to my nature? If I get one, what do I think it would it bring me that I don't feel I have enough of now? Convenient transport? Comfort? Style? Self-esteem? A feeling of safety? Prestige? Maybe these latter qualities are calling for attention. If I decide that an E-Class Merc is the ONLY way I will get them, and I won't get them UNTIL I have the Merc in the driveway, what do you think my chances are of being happy right now? Nature doesn't work that way, except sometimes by accident.

Where did we get this notion that the goodies are supposed to come before we can feel good about ourselves? From very early on in our journey, when we discovered that we could get our needs met by withholding our wellbeing. All we had to do to get attention was to cry, and some of us are still doing it decades later, bunging on unhappiness to get happy! Of course it doesn't work, but it seems we can't help ourselves.

The big problem with pegging our self-esteem and feelings of satisfaction onto external things like wealth, health, success, social status, appearance, relationships and intellectual acuity is that these things are on temporary loan and can be taken away from us without warning. What happens to our self esteem then? The effect can be devastating.

Look at how the whole of Nature works. First, assume that a Desire is covering for a basic need, and find out what that is. Then say "Yes" to that need, and surrender to all possibilities for how it might be satisfied. Allow your desires to align, or not align with that workingness. Allow them to align, or not align with your higher, deeper Self. Let your desires flow freely. Put out for what you want and gratefully embrace what you get.

2. Live Happily in the Here and Now (as often as you can).

Completeness is a state of being, a Context that arises spontaneously when we remove all barriers to communion with this moment, when nothing is more important to us than Now. Resentments from the past and fears for the future pale into insignificance when compared to the simple aliveness of Here and Now. This unfettered Here/Now is real: everything else is hearsay and superstition.

While we are living happily with this moment, we are aligning our Desire nature with all of Nature. Desires are coming to us as guidance from our higher being. Respect your desires. Notice any compulsion that may have attached itself. See the Desire, and any Compulsion for Gratification as two separate things, and allow them both to be. Allow gratitude to flow through you for what you have. Allow and let go of any judgment that something "better" should be here for you right now. Until you can comfortably have what you've got, you're unlikely to be given anything else.

Mind-sponsored concerns about the Past and the Future are always incomplete. We can complete WITH them (ie. let them be exactly as they are), but we can only do that in the Now. When we are totally in a Now moment, we are out of mind; therefore there is no possibility of any thought about incompleteness. We are in a state of "never mind."

But there are very few people who can manage such detachment for any length of time. Does that mean the rest of us who get caught up in our mind stuff are doomed? Far from it. Simply acknowledge that you are remembering and forgetting, remembering and forgetting -- and be OK with that. Slipping out of the Now moment is allowed. Is it OK with you that that is so? Good. You are complete. There are no "shoulds" around Completeness.

3. Let Go of Your Shoulds
While we are locked onto any "should", our possibilities from there on are curtailed. When we are satisfied with the way it is, all kinds of new possibilities open up to us.

I know this is the polar opposite of the way most of us were taught the world is -- that change comes about through opposition and resistance, and by huffing and puffing a lot, insisting that things be otherwise. But I look at the last 60,000 years of history and find that, despite all our clever discoveries and gadgets, we're still just as unhappy and insecure as we were when we were living in caves. Maybe it's time to do something different.

Perhaps we could give this a serious trial -- turning towards and embracing both sides of all the paradoxes of life and death, living them all totally as one experience. We could try letting go of control and contraction as means to forcing someone or something to give us what we want, and surrender to a process of Desiring and Allowing What-Is -- Becoming...........

Here, try this on for size..........

The best thing that can happen to me just now is happening right now.

How challenged do you feel by that?

Every experience has a lesson for us. Nothing in this universe is ever lost. If it is hard for you to see that at the moment, remember that part of the condition of being human is that we cannot see the Whole Thing at once. That's just the way it is. We have to move around to different points of view, and check things out a bit at a time. Until you're ready to change your perspective, you'll never see much further possibility at all. But that doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It is reported that the native medicine men of the eastern coast tribes of the New World didn't see the three ships Christopher Columbus arrived in -- they had no conception of "sailing ship" and were blinded by their ignorance. But the ships were there.

Here is another viewpoint you might like to stand on for a while, just to see what you can see from this place ----
  • Nature is intrinsically complete, affluent, abundant, unbounded and immortal. We are a part of Nature. There is something about us that has all of these qualities. The reason we don't always experience completeness and all the other goodies is that we don't allow our desires to course joyfully through our awareness, our psychology and our physiology. We spasm and get hung up on Results, because we've bought a belief in Limitedness and Incompleteness, and we've forgotten that, inherent in every desire is the mechanism for its fulfillment. All we have to do is watch how it happens.
4. Relinquish Attachment to Results

To get something new, we may have to let go of something old. First to go might be the naivety and arrogance of Getting There on our own terms.

There is a paradox that must be embraced. The purpose of every Desire is to start a process. Create in your mind's eye the result you want, THEN LET IT GO. If you keep your attention fixed on a particular result, you will miss the Process. Without the process, there will be no satisfactory result. If you remain in the Process, a fulfilling result is guaranteed; a result that is aligned with you deepest desires. Guaranteed.

When life does not seem to be working, it is working. Trust the process. Hang on and go for the ride. This is not a matter for belief; it is a matter of pure Awareness.

Here's a question for you to stand in: Who is the richest person in your neighbourhood? Is that person the one with the most stuff? Or the one with the least needs? You decide.

THE FINITE AND THE INFINITE

We have two dimensions of living in us simoultaneously -- the Finite and the Infinite. We are both. The finite and the infinite are continually matrimonising in us to incarnate New Possibilities. The most mundane, as well as the most intense experiences together lead us to greater aliveness if and when we come to more moments present, aware, available and transparent to whatever is going on.

That which is finite in us is personal, time-bound, always becoming, needs feedback and reward, avoids punishment, and looks for a sense of progress. The Infinite in us is impersonal, not bound by anything, whole and complete, needs no feedback, reward or nourishment from outside of itself (there is no "outside" of itself). The Infinite is complete in itself and perfectly contented to allow the "incomplete" part of our nature to exist unmolested. The incomplete, finite aspect of our nature is always molesting the infinite. The Infinite, like a tolerant, loving parent, watches the Finite and welcomes the experiences -- unfazed and delighted.

In Completeness we touch the Infinite. When we remain aware, alive and available to a now moment (how long is a now moment?), completeness descends upon us. We experience a trust that something very close that lies just beyond our awareness is taking place for our highest good. There is another Knowing that knows what our deepest Desire is. Just be aware that we are being abundantly provided with all that we need from moment to moment.

When we contact our infinite nature, three things happen ---
  1. The quality of our desires changes
  2. Our desires do get manifested more easily
  3. Goodies come to us before we consciously notice our desire for them.
The more often we touch Completeness, our desires become less personal and more universal. We start wanting to help others fulfill their deepest desires. Eventually we reach a point where Nothing -- the Nothing that is Everything --satisfies us. Every desire is enough in and of itself. That is true transformation! We have moved from a space where nothing satisfies us to a space where Nothing/Everything satisfies us. Nothing may have changed, but our perceptions have undergone a radical transformation.

In our Infinite self we already know Completeness, and have known it all along. In that place nothing we have ever desired could be wrong because it comes from the awareness of that completeness. It knows we are not the thinkers; that every thought comes from nature. Every thought and feeling is nature-al. This is the cosmic pole of our awareness.

RHYTHM AND SYNCHRONICITY

When all is complete, we are in tune with Nature in all its forms, for both Becoming and Completeness together are the nature of all creation. Standing against nature provokes stuckness and incompletion -- DIY misery -- the harmonics that add the richness of tone that is human condition.

We get into rhythm and sync with our nature through meditation.

My preferred flavour of meditation is more tantric than yogic. I have tried stretching and twisting my body around like pretzel-dough. I have stood on my head and whirled like a toy top. I still love chanting. They are fine disciplines and offer ways to reach some amazing spaces. If you haven't yet given them a serious try, I urge you to consider it. But I'm lazy, and they are hard work. My meditation is one of awareness. Whatever is happening -- whether I am harmonic chanting or doing the laundry -- I "do" awareness, noticing what is going on in and around me. What's happening in my peripheral vision? What sounds are happening that I've been screening out? What have I been focusing on? What am I now focusing on? Now scan around outside that narrowed field of focus for what I've been missing. Zoom out to wide-angle. See if I can intuit the blankness upon which the holograph of my experience is being projected. Listen for the silence the contains all the chatter; the silence over which the noise of my life is broadcast.

I love the silence particularly. In that silence lie all my desires and possibilities in un-manifested form. I can go there and enjoy them now. No waiting. Out of that deepest of silences emerges a rhythm, a thin interface between my wishes and the pure, absolute consciousness that contains their fulfillment.

To go out and work, earn money and buy what I want is one form of rhythm. For many years it was the only one I knew. It was the one I was taught, and it was played by all the other members of the orchestra that surrounded me. It works, except sometimes. But it is a very cumbersome and clunky way of getting from Desire to Achievement. Working can be a fun thing to do for entertainment, if you don't HAVE to do it to get what you want. Why do you think so many people have hobbies?

Most of us are very familiar with our Finite way of doing life. For the moment I'm going to take a peek at the lesser-known Infinite in each of us, and the possibilities that exist out of that reality.........

An easier way to get our wishes met might be to sit on our behind and ask someone else to do it for us. Let's just drop the automatic judgments that may have arisen just now and acknowledge that, for the sitter at least, it is easier than busting a gut each day. (at least for a while until we have to start paying the price for that kind of inertia). There is a neater, tidier rhythm to that kind of manifestation.

But what if we could go one better and have the experience of Thought and Fulfillment fused into one single process ........... Thoughtful/Fillment? Instant. No need to add water or stir. The desire arises with the fulfillment echoing along. Would that not be the Big Bang of all time?

Tapping in to such full-blown Synchronicity begins each day as we awaken; we already do it. As daytime consciousness returns we habitually boot up the bio-computer between our ears with all of yesterday's stuff. We re-member all our negative self-programming about both the past and the future and, before we even swing our legs over the edge of the bed, we have already manifested pretty much what the rest of this day is going to look and feel like.

Time to do something different. As soon as you reach the required level of awareness, stop. Don't move. Take a moment or three to scan your awarenss and see how you are. Don't try to change that. Let it be as it is. Just tune in. Notice your breathing. Note your feelings. Check out your body internally. How is it with you? Don't judge it against some ideal; let it be just as it is. Tune in to your self and the world around you.

Once you are settled with just that much, gradually widen the field of your awareness. Take in the bedroom and anyone else in it. Then the rest of your abode, then anything coming in from outside. Make it all OK. then gently move your body out into that world, remaining aware of everything you notice. Nothing is missing. Everything is as it is, for now. Perfect. Complete.

You will be amazed when you start doing this, how different your world looks and sounds, and how much a part of it you are.

At the very core of our being there are no concepts, no opinions, no beliefs or "shoulds". These are peripheral artifacts. Your body can function perfectly well without them. They are unnecessary ballast. Barring specific illness, you can trust your heart to beat, your lungs to breathe and your digestive system to digest, all without any interference from you. Why don't we all live our lives like that? Why do we interfere? Our lives were designed to work perfectly well all on their own. All we need to do is get in tune with the perfection of it all and go for the ride of our life.

Life was designed to work, otherwise it would not have lasted this long. Your life IS working, even when it feels otherwise. So is mine. Anything that throws us out-of-tune is costing us heaps, and giving us a bumpy ride. We can tune in to our Complete nature right now. It is there. It has always been there, waiting for us to wake up to its presence. All we have to do is nothing. Stop interfering. Let come what comes; let go what goes.

Even when we stop short of perfect synchronicity, our desires are still being fulfilled, but with a time lag. Whatever we put out for, consciously or unconsciously, will show up. Fear not! You will make it to tomorrow whether or not your desires are gratified today. And if you don't make it though tonight, it won't matter any more, will it? In the meantime, get happy with what you've got. We spend so much time resisting what we've got, we never get to really explore what it offers. If there's anything we are resisting, we are not experiencing it and learning the lesson; we are experiencing resisting it. There's a huge difference, and we cannot graduate to anything else while all that squirming is going on.

Our lives are sustained by a steady growth of fulfillment in a continual stream of Completeness.


When you're grateful for life
Life starts giving you things to be grateful for

Janine Shepherd

The experience of discovering completeness may, on occasion, be a little unsettling. We may sometimes get the sensation of being taken right back to the beginning, suddenly knowing nothing all over again and feeling a little disoriented without our usual props of what we thought we knew to lean on. The resistance to not-knowing comes from the wily mind. Note it as only part of the picture and let it be. When it happens to me, I usually see the funny side of going back to kindergarten again at my age. The laughter takes care of the tentativeness. This feeling of disorientation, seen without the negative overlay of fear and resistance, is the feeling of Newness and Vulnerability -- the kind of Vulnerability that is unassailable. Don't worry; you will get used to it very quickly and soon look forward to it.

In a more meditative state, the heavy traffic of thoughts slows down and thins out to a mere trickle. Those that do waft by cause fewer and smaller ripples than before on the surface of our awareness. We become profoundly less disturbed, and whenever things do get a bit ruffled, we don't get disturbed about it. A thought -- even a desire -- comes and goes in crystal clarity. There comes a point when we realise that the only desires that do call by carry with them the force of their own Intention; they are self-fulfilling, so we let them go by to do their work without interference from us.

Completeness is the space that our soul jumps into, from which it can see the soup of low-level experience we were priorly drowning in. As things stand now, most of the thoughts that pop into our heads aren't actually our own wishes and desires at all . Most of them are more likely to be un-intentional wishful fantasies concerned with release and avoidance of some stressful condition or event, rather than intentional, clear impulses towards what we DO really want. This low-level flotsam drifts in and out of lower-level consciousness. Impelled by our past experience, we latch onto them, blisslessly unaware that, by doing so, we are condemning ourselves to slavery to our past-conditioned reality, condemned to repeat our past experiences over and over again.

Look, this is really simple -- we get what we focus upon. That is Law. When whatever we focus on is a function of what we don't want, what we DON'T want is what we get. It's time to wake up, don't you think?

When we finally learn to assume authorship of our experience moment by moment, we become the Master of our Self. This marks our transformation from slavery to freedom, from incompleteness to completeness. The difference is enormous, but it begins subtly in the domain of our inner awareness.

Rhythm and Completeness are not ploys for getting more money, more prestige, more possessions, more knowledge, more happiness --- more of anything. Both More and Better are small change. Completeness -- no more nor better needed for now -- produces something more radical and revolutionary than change. Transformation.

Specific goals expand, and then limit abundance. The more specific they are, the more limiting they become. Getting into the rhythm of life and completing each moment are about expanding the TOTALITY of consciousness -- at both higher and lower ends of the scale. The limitation comes about when we focus on isolated goals and forget the overriding goal -- the overall evolution of our Self Awareness.

We are already, and are becoming Sovereign Beings, each in our own light. But even the most powerful and masterful sovereign must first ask for something in order to get it. And he must go through the appropriate channels. It's really not very productive to ask for Happiness, Satisfaction and Completeness from the Minister for Worldly Success or the Secretary for War. Those things are fine, but they aren't the main game. Even Kerry Packer found that out before he died.

Each of us owns the totality of universal creation. It's just that, right now, we don't know where to turn to get what we want. We suspect, rightly as it turns out, that it isn't where we've always looked in the past .... somewhere along the road of struggling, striving and manipulating. Efforting seems to produce the Horizon Effect -- no matter how fast we run, what we desire stays elusively just out of our reach.

Every step, every moment along the way is where we will find what we want. Goals are fine and fun to go after, but not at the expense of complete satisfaction with the Now. Being in the present moment with our present desires is the best thing we can possibly do. In fact, it is the only thing we need to do. Everything else is entertainment.

Completeness is not something to hope for; hoping is postponing. If hope is what you've got, then make that OK, too. As often as you remember to, be Complete. Completeness is here and now, ready to suffuse into pure awareness any instant.

Keep your desire turning back within,
And be patient.
Allow the fulfillment to come to you,
Gently resisting the temptation
To chase your dreams out into the world.
Pursue them into the heart
Until they disappear into the Self
And leave them there.

Maharishi

Be simple.

Be kind.

Be all of what you are. Add everything that shows up. Omit nothing. Censor nothing. Withhold nothing. All is complete.

Be content.

Allow your love to nourish yourself as well as others.

Remember, it is sufficient to be quietly alert and aware of your needs, your wants and your desires. Do what you do that best expresses your true nature. In this way way, life is complete, moment by moment. It proceeds naturally, all by itself.

Life is here. Now. Enjoy.

There is nothing missing. All is complete as it is.

TRUST

Trust is that magical ability that enables us to leap into the unknown without any tangible evidence or proof that we'll be OK. To a certain extent, we couldn't even get out of bed in the morning without it, so we all have it. It's just a matter of to what degree, how we limit our access to it, how often and how much we use it, and under what circumstances we deny its existence.

Trust is the state of being that gives us conSOLation and comfort. The English word derives from a High German word - "trost", which means "solace", which in turn derives from the French word ("solas") for "comfort", and the Latin word "solus"-- "alone". There you have it, all the shades of experience that together make up the complex state of Trust == solace, comfort, alone-ness and all-one-ness.

As a way of being in the world, trust is the antidote to chronic anxiety, worry, misery, disappointment and suffering. Trust is a valid way of be-ing.

Trusting as a verb, however, can add to those shaky states because "to trust" someone or something is a calculated decision arising out of a state of wariness -- non-trust. Expecting Trust to flower from seeds of Non-trust is an exercise in futility.

Doing Trust entails a judgment of the ego with reservations,  conditions,.and, in case of a falling-short of some implied standard, maybe even threats of some punitive withdrawal of wellbeing and approval hanging all over it. When we say we "trust" someone or something, we usually mean that we are relying on the person or condition to be as we want them to be, and not as he/she/it actually IS. When they're not as we expect them to be, we cry.  "Do-ing Trust" is a bit of a worry. It has an edginess to it. Being in Trust is a relaxation, free from anxiety.

Pure Trust has nothing to do with Belief. In order to live in Trust we surrender our reservations and doubts, our fears and desires to the divine flowing of life through us

To enjoy the state of trust we first decide to go it alone. If we're leaning on someone or something else for support we are still in a condition of reliance, a very different state from trust.  Each of us is called to enter the Halls Of Trust alone and unburdened.

Contrary to popular victim-speak, trust cannot be given to us, or taken away by others. When we say we "don't trust" someone or something, what has really happened is that we have relied on an unreal expectation of the other, had that expectation undermined, and consequently electrocuted ourself on an existing condition of self-distrust. To reconnect with that Trust which is the overarching confidence of the whole of creation, we have to let go of any doubts and reservations about the reliability, truth and worth of our true nature.

To live in a state of Trust is a commitment of someone voluntarily responsible for the custody, charge and care of life in himself and the world around him. An aura of Trust is the hallmark of a person who willingly says "Yes" to all possibility, without reservation.

To access an experience of trust, we are challenged to let go of any assessments or reservations, and accept what-is unconditionally. Acceptance is the doorway to trust-ness

Transformation certainly is not possible without Trust. Transformation results from a step into the unknown; unless we trust, we cannot enter. Trust underpins courage; they go together.

Doubt is easy -- any fool can do doubt. In doubt we protect our self, hanging on to what feels more secure, less dangerous. We doubt because we feel threats of being lied to or cheated upon. We wear doubts like a suit of armour. Like all protective apparel, doubts limit our movements, reduce our field of vision, and make us even more vulnerable (ask Ned Kelly about that one!). Our increased vulnerability results from two certainties -- a) Every suit of armour has its weak points; and b) Every suit of armour traps us into a confined space with our own weaknesses -- the ones that cause us to feel threatened in the first place. We feel threatened by someone or something else when we do not trust ourselves to be able to deal with that other person just as "they are".

We peer out of our suits of armour through narrow slits at a world we distrust. Even with people we feel more comfortable with, our trust is tentative and conditional. We simply take one hand out of our armour to shake hands (with the right hand -- to show we carry no weapon at the ready). But the armour remains, just in case, ready to retreat into the moment either of us feels threatened. Even in our love, we trust only this much.

The ability to "trust" (as a verb) comes only from "Trust" (a noun), a grounding state of be-ing. We began life on this plane in a state of Trust -- it is our natural state. Then we encountered experiences that raised serious doubts about the validity of that state. Just being born was enough to rock that cradle! Since then, we have encountered plenty of proof that our doubts are justified. In order to return to Trust we must consciously dare to live vulnerably in the face of our fears. We are challenged to live as if the whole of existence is in the deepest friendship with us. Not until we make that leap of trust can we discover that indeed it is -- we are fully supported by a universe that is so much a part of us, it is impossible define where our environment ends and we begin -- there is no separation.

To trust means to live at-one-ment with existence. Who, then, is going to shaft me? There is nobody else to shaft me because the "other"does not exist anywhere but in my separating mind.

In trust, we can see that the whole of existence is very, very affectionate towards us and conspiring FOR us, but only when we drop our armour and diffuse into existence wholeheartedly. When we are closed, existence is closed, just because of us. When we create a fortress, existence never interferes. Neither Prince Charming, Jesus Christ nor Jack of the Beanstalk fame will come to rescue us from our self-imposed isolation. If isolation and doubt are what we want, existence allows. We are allowed to embrace, to go against, even to betray. There are consequences, but no rewards or punishments.

Trust arising is a sign we have come to recognise that, like waves on the ocean, we appeared out of all existence, and that one day we will dis-appear into it again. So how can there be any opposition, except in our duality? In Trust how can doubt sustain itself? There is nothing to feed it. When we drop our armour plating a radical shift takes place:

Suddenly we are back home.

The enemy was never there, except as a projection from our own eyes, created out of fear of the unknown. In a state of fear, enemies are all around us. Once fear is let go, there is no enemy. They were a figment of our fear.

A person of trust cannot be deceived. Whatever happens, he/she will not take it as deception.

A burglar entered the house of a Zen master and demanded everything of value. The master not only made no move to stop him, but aided him in his search, suggesting other things he might take. Just as the robber was about to leave, however, the master called him back. "You forgot to say 'thank you,'" he said. The thief mumbled a stunned "thank-you" and departed.

In due course the thief was caught with the goods that someone recognised as having belonged to the master. But he was released again when the master truthfully told the police hat he had given his goods to him; the man had said 'thank-you' and left.

The thief followed the master to his home. "Why do you follow me?" the master enquired. "If you have come to take more, please give me some time. You have cleaned me out." The thief replied, "I am not coming to rob you. It is you who have robbed me. I am no longer a thief. I can no longer steal. My old life is gone."

One of my doubts is that I could ever reach that level of un-attachment. But I don't think that's the point of the story. What I can do is make a choice to change my perceptions. The master chose not to experience the loss of his goods as robbery.

A man of trust cannot be deceived because his vision extends beyond the immediate and the obvious into a realm of other possibility. He simply chooses not to experience what happens as deception. He knows that we all experience what happens to us in line with our favourite/habitual ways of seeing. We see whatever we expect to see. We do not see things as they are. We interpret. How we see things says more about our expectations than it does about things as they really are. Trust knows we have the power to choose an interpretation that works for us, rather than against our long-term wellbeing.

Trust allows our compassion to engulf all.

Trust is the greatest quality. It is Love be-ing.

Tuesday, February 02, 2010

TO BE, AND NOT TO BE

Being present in every moment
invites us
To fall into the abyss of What-Is;
To let go of all need to control or withhold
To let go of "What I know",
To let go of every urge to do something about it
And just BE -----
And perhaps come to know in Life
The unutterable Acceptance and Peace
That is the Gift of Death.

Isn't it ironical? I took my first Inward Adventure because I was intensely fed up to the back teeth with life as I was experiencing it at the time. I desperately wanted a radical makeover. Well, the joke was on me; I was to discover that it was my resistance to that experience and those feelings that was keeping me stuck The redemption I was looking for lay within the very conditions I feared to go through. Anxiety and dread are radical aliveness with a negative judgment imposed on them. There's nothing like feeling like death to realise your radical aliveness.

Radical aliveness is not something to do; it is a way of be-ing that honours equally all the opposites of life.

This is in sharp contrast to the teachings and disciplines that quest after a feeling of empowerment by learning to re-program and assert control over the mind -- thinking positively and imagineering your self and the world as you insist they should be. While such approaches have a lot to recommend them -- they can bolster self-esteem and improve feelings of well-being, and for some remarkable people they can lead ultimately to the door of transformation. The difficulty I have with the technologies of enlightenment is that, like all in-the-mind stuff, they can be mastered by only very few people, and in the end they obstruct our passage through the door: they have to be discarded -- eventually.

I have found also that life lived at higher altitudes of consciousness varies immensely from how it works down here on the plains, and it has become my assumed challenge to find ways of transmuting the more aescetic insights of my loftier moments into practical gutter-wisdom for folks who, like me, find their experience of being human sometimes less than uplifting.

Understanding and wisdom attained at higher levels are not ideal tools to make life work at lower levels. At least not without a lot of translation. That does not make such wisdom either wrong or irrelevant. It's just that at lower levels, every attempt to make life work, to make things fit and to get it right are undermined by our latent fear of impermanence (death), by the seeing of our weaknesses as Wrongness, and by the seeming fact that, in different contexts, things work differently. When every voice in our head clamours for power and deliverance from our suffering, it's a big ask to get comfy with the idea that suffering is OK because it isn't real; that we are God, playing at experiencing powerlessness. My immediate reaction was "Bugger that! Why would anybody choose to go through the bad dream I'm having right now?" It's a good question. When we can get past the feeling of desperation that prompts it and turns it into a protest, and stand in it for as long as it takes as a genuine enquiry -- "Why would I choose to put myself through this?" -- there are some very revealing insights awaiting.

Applying higher truths to the everyday grind can lend life an expanded sense of security and may even make our efforts more productive, but at the same time it also feeds our escalating need for control. We are tempted to use the truths as tools to fix something that feels "broken". Since these "truths" have usually arisen out of someone else's experience and not our own, they become limiting beliefs that may actually block any genuine enquiry into our situation and block our accesss to our own experiences and realisations. This approach treats life at the moment as "wrong"; we think we need access to laws that show us how to cure the dis-ease and do it "right". This might explain why the period of euphoria after a "got-it" may be followed by a backlash of emotionally challenging events that we interpret as apparent "failure".

Not that there is anything wrong with that euphoria; it's just that, despite how invigorating it feels, nothing much is changed. Not yet. There is more yet. When the consequent emotional slump challenges our self-trust, we are faced with the opportunity for transformation, but what usually happens is that the old feelings of "everything coming undone again" return and hijack the transforming process. At this point, those who are on a positive affirmations regimen recoil from the opportunity to enter the scary unknown. Instead, they go at their disciplines with even more energy. People attracted to positive thinking and affirmations get all their buttons pushed whenever they don't feel powerful enough for the situation, which can be quite often because there is never "enough" for the ego. On the other hand, those who have birthed a capacity to stand bravely in their own light will readily enter the door of un-certainty and un-knowing yet again, quietly confident, and maybe even a little excited that another layer of old skin is being peeled away. These people have discovered that the doors to transformation are only scary because that part of our lower-level consciousness that is concerned with getting results is no longer directing the experience -- a position it does not give up lightly.

External tools like mind control techniques can, and do trigger elevated levels of creative involvement and an intensity that can become quite addictive. But my experience with them proved to be transient -- for a while they worked (except sometimes), and then they stopped working (except sometimes). Under stress I found myself using the techniques to avoid entering doorways of possibility that I labelled as "Wrong" and "Not good for me". In doing so I was missing very real possibilities for transformation. Only relatively recently have I discovered that scary options confronting me can, if entered aware-fully, always lead me to a much deeper relationship with myself, and afterwards with others who come to me for counselling. I've even taken to reassuring some callers that, if they're scared, it my be a good sign that they're on the right track through whatever condition they're in at the moment.

While I was absorbed in my "self-improvement" expedition I experienced an eerie unrealness. I did not know why at the time, but in hindsight it has occurred to me that forcefully denying more than half of my experience (the so-called "negative" half) was at odds with what I already knew about energy -- that energy flows from negative to positive. It is the differential, the imbalance between two opposing poles, which creates the flow of power. While suppressing my negative side I was throwing a resistance into the circuit, living a half-truth, pretending, creating separation, superficiality, defensiveness and rigidity.

Here are some questions worth standing in. There are no wrong answers.

  • Why am I so afraid to go deeper through the door of the unknown?
  • What is it that frightens me so?
  • Why is it so hard to trust with the heart that life is working when it doesn't feel like it?
Deeper knowing can not be learnt out of a book. There are many things that can trigger the process of delving deeper, including an inspiring quote from a book, a moving moment of music, and particularly the presence and influence of a more fully realised "other". But Deeper Knowing is only born out of the aliveness and availability to the experiences that follow the triggering. Which experiences? Well, start with the ones in your face right now; the ones that keep coming up because you're avoiding something in them. Deeper knowing is a result when availability and willingness to go through an experience become more important than a set of exercises and rules for getting out of it. If Calvary taught us anything worthwhile, surely it was this -- the only way to transcend death is to go through it, knowing that" death" is not a fact, just an idea that has never proved to be very useful to anyone except our ego. To the ego, death is a threat. But ego is not who we are, unless we say so. And if we do say so, then death is VERY real. Our egos are going to die.

What happens as I write or counsel is that my conscious mind is responding to and affirming ideas that enlighten me in some way. I stand in them at least for a while and pay particular attention to what happens next. The immediate value for me in doing this is that these new ideas have the power to alter the quality of my attention and the the way I see things by shifting my point of view. New perspectives help me to respond to old, familiar dilemmas in new ways, and open up to another possibility of life. But the sense of well-being and new potency that I feel are only temporary. Euphoria is not designed to be anything more than a temporary state; our bodies and minds could not stand the strain of a permanent tenure. But in our desperation to feel better at all costs, we settle for euphoria when what we're really after is Peace. Euphoria, whether engineered by mind technologies or drugs, burns us out. Peace is something altogether different.

Sooner or later (usually sooner) an experience comes along out of the euphoria that seems to knock me right back to Square One where anything I thought I knew is suddenly irrelevant. These seeming setbacks are actually the Next Step, prompted by the new ideas I am standing in. They offer an opportunity to convert the new ideas into real-life experience. Then, having got the experience, I find I have to let go of the ideas, let go of the theories before they turn into yet another bunch of limiting beliefs about life. Just keep the experience. That's why we came to this life -- for the experience. What experience? The one you're having! You can give up the search. The path to your enlightenment is right in front of you. Duuu-uuuh!

When a crisis come along, we always have a choice: we can either attempt to modify this reality, or surrender to it. If we choose to surrender, there is no further choice, no control, no certainty. That's what is so scary about it. BUT when I engage creatively with Uncertainty, the gifts of Uncertainty -- trust, humility, and the inner strength needed for the challenge -- arise from within.

This process of radical transformation is not new to any of us; we have all experienced it before -- at Birth. We ran out of room where we were and unconsciously triggered a sequence of events in which we encountered a profound change of environment following a difficult period of severe, unexplainable psychological and physical stress. During this whole hellish process we felt overwhelmed and had no way of finding what, if anything, was guiding the experience. We had no pre-existing words or concepts to identify or explain what was happening. After an eternity of exquisite peace, it felt like we were being totally annihilated.........

And we survived, and grew. Why is it that we forget this last part?

LOVE

Love is seen as the great remedy. Who can argue with that? But love is seen as something we can -- and must -- do. Love as a verb becomes a tool to attack "the problem" -- our pain, our uncertainty, our loneliness, our doubt, our questioning, our perceived shortcomings. Apply Love, take 2 aspirins, lie down, breathe deeply and see how you feel in the morning -- isn't that how it's supposed to work? Hmmmm-mmm!

Love is the remedy but not as a verb; Love is a noun. Love IS. Love is what makes it possible for me to find wholeness even as I go through a disintegrating experience. To try to make love happen splits it apart, creating a "love" and a "not-love". Perhaps that is why, when we try to "be more loving" (ie. "doing" love), we end up righteous, arrogant, distanced, disappointed, frustrated, angry and numbed when things don't turn out the way we think they should. When we try to split joy and peace from pain and struggle, we sacrifice a huge chunk of our aliveness. Life is the dynamic ebb and flow of This AND That. Peace AND Pain.

I am aware of a hidden addiction to achieve healing and transformation on my own terms. I strike it a lot in counselling, both in myself and in those who call. That won't work. The Divine cannot be encompassed by our restrictions. The Divine act of Grace is bestowed only when we are empty, uncertain, and unable to proceed further on our own terms. The key is Surrender -- letting go of every expectation and resistance, and being alive and available to What-Is, just as it is.

All our genuine realisations are true and valid at the level of consciousness at which they are received. But those channeled at higher levels rarely translate directly to ordinary levels of consciousness. Applying these gems of wisdom in daily living is another matter altogether. In fact, the very attempt to live high ideals like unconditional love, intuitive wisdom and compassion is a tempting invitation to feelings of falling short, provoking frustration, disappointment, shame and selfishness. From a loftier perspective, for example, human suffering, struggle and negativity are labelled as "not real", and they're not. They are figments of an ego. Yet for us basic humans with egos, those things ARE our experience, and that makes them very real. For some, disease and suffering are tragedies to be met with prayer, acts of love, and attitudinal change. Noble stuff. But such an approach still splits spirit from body, body from mind,, and mind from soul. Splits of any kind are going to produce isolation and pain. Our challenge is to integrate, as best we can in any moment, higher teachings and ideals with the demands of daily doing, and the gaps between them, and to be present for, and tell the truth about that ongoing experience.

I got most of my early tastes of mystic wisdom from books and gurus, and you probably did, too. The only hesitation I have about that is that I tended to adopt those revelations as fundamental gospel truths at the expense of learning through my own experience of Not-Knowing. It took a while for me to realise that few writers actually practice or live their teachings from day to day, and in the meantime the trouble I was having meant that there was something fundamentally wrong with me. It wasn't until I encountered men like Colin Hayes, Baghwan Shree Rajneesh (Osho) and Sailor Bob, that I found real, earthy people who understood the dynamic tension we all have to face between our divinity and our humanity, and had the magical ability to laugh about it and let us see the funny side of it, too.

In the end, the power of any channeled wisdom lies in how thoroughly we can live it, in how useful and supportive those teachings are in moments when we find it impossible or unnecessary to adhere to them. The real potential for transformation always lies more with the student that with the teaching. It is the purpose of teachings to support the student, not the other way around.

But what usually happens is that, like me when I started to write this, we turn to teachings when we feel low, disconnected, unclear or needing inspiration -- in order to get out of our low mood. We use inspiration to restore some sense of place, orientation, equilibrium, control or clarity. They help us console ourselves and feel better. But by avoiding the disconnection and confusion, by modifying our experience of the present moment to something more comfortable, by doing anything rather than the really simple/hard thing -- just BE -- the growth of our awareness is minimal.

Whenever I am tempted to follow "A Way", the question arises -- What am I running ""A Way" from? Colin Hayes said often -- "If you want freedom, figure it out for yourself." By all means, look to whatever is available for a kick-start. You can use this blog if it is working for you. But once the motor is running, throw the crank handle away. I'm going to, just as soon as I write the next sentence.......

It is only when we can set aside all teachings, stop discipling for a belief system, and simply BE in the moment, that we find that space where we are free to be undone and be re-born.

OK. Throw this away now
and have your experience............

Monday, February 01, 2010

WHOLENESS -- AND THE TREACHEROUS "THEREFORE"

We tend to equate health and peace with rightness and fulfillment. Simoultaneously we tend to equate dis-ease and suffering with failure.

Such a mindset also regards radical transformation and healing as some kind of achievement.

They are not.

Such things are an event of un-earned grace. If that sounds unfair to you, you have much to learn about the way life works. That is why we waste so much time and effort warring against war, suffering and disease, trying to create Health and Peace as "winners". Such a perspective is too narrow to be workable.

Health includes disease.
Peace includes war
Life includes death.

This is the paradox. Without one, there is no other. They are not counterpoles; they are the two side of the same coin.

When we approach each moment in wholeness and newness, we become less interested in comparing any one experience with any other, or any one person to any other. Each begins to show up as unique and complete in itself. That someone else does not take a step that seems obviously preferable to me, says nothing of that person's intrinsic worth. Not really. Or of mine for that matter.

The significance of your life or my life cannot be measured meaningfully in relation to anyone else's. Everyone and everything can only be truly acknowledged and appreciated in his/her/its own intrinsic wholeness. That means we have to go beyond trite comparisons and look into each "öther" as a unique experience to be explored on its own terms. That's a tough one to swallow. If that were true, though, it would mean that my life is no more or less worthwhile than Jesus Christ's. But maybe that's part of what he was trying to tell us..... don't be too hasty to judge.

At the age of 66, when I sometimes succumb to feelings of failure because I might have gone further...... when I feel that someone else has failed because he/she might have gone further, I know I am measuring life from a very narrow and invalid perspective. The way points ahead for me, but thankfully not neccessarily in a linear extension of where I have been and where I am now. I am still looking for new possibilities and the opportunity to take quantum leaps sideways. This does not deny or devalue where I have been or what I have become: I take all the experiences of that with me in gratitude and (in some cases) some pride.

To observe and experience life is one thing; to draw conclusions from all of that --- the treacherous "therefore" -- is quite something else altogether and, I think, misses the point of living. Transformation may lead to healing, and even to cure, but this is not always so and expecting it to be so is bound to cause anguish. To think that, in order to be healed one must be transformed, is reasonable, but far from valid. Such logical expectations narrow our relationship with life, undermining our capacity to fully live and realise each moment uncritically, just as it is.

I really tried pushing away some aspects of existence to attain another level of consciousness; the experiment was spectacularly unsuccessful. It devalued where I was, and where I had been. I found only anguish and pain in resistance, and I got stuck.

This is the greatest paradox of all -- in order to reach a state of Wholeness, I've had to take the path of Wholeness. Nothing wrong now. Nothing lacking now. Nothing that should be some other way. The deeper healing of our planet begins one person at a time with the only person I can heal -- me. I tried going to work on the problem, the disease. That didn't work. what is working is entering each moment with a fundamental realisation that .....

Just as we are

We are all ever

And already

Whole.

Friday, May 29, 2009

HAVING & BEING



HAVING & BEING

We are fortunate that the English language makes a clear distinction between having something, and being someone in particular. I notice that in Thai, the word "ben" covers both states ("I am happy", "I am able to be happy", and "I have happy" are all valid translations of "Pom ben suk", but when being in possession of something that is not-me is indicated, the Thais have a special pointer-word -- "mee", as in "Pom mee mah" -- "I have a dog" to indicate that there is some distinction between the possessor and what is possessed. Something you have is not what you are.
This would seem to be self-evident. I have a dog, I have car keys, I have a sore back. Fine. But none of these is who I am. If I were to suddenly announce to the neighbours "I am a dog", or "I am a car key", or "I am a sore back", one or two might initially agree, but if I kept it up, one of them would soon be calling for an ambulance.
But what makes the distinction so grey when it comes to feelings? Humans seem quite ready to I-dentify with a feeling they have, and even to regard this lunacy as normal. "I have sadness" becomes "I am sad.". "I have depression" becomes "I am depressed" with remarkable rapidity. "I have anxiety" turns into "I am anxious". Suddenly it has become terribly personal: the Being has become its creation. The parent has become the child. The problem has taken over; the costume is wearing the actor; the creator is obscured.
Often in counselling one of my first tasks is to remind the sufferer that there is a difference between the person and the problem. Who-you-are is the person who HAS the car keys, the spectacles, the headache, the suffering. But none of those things is who you are. You - the person - and what you have are quite separate. When you get that separation, you get some space, some elbow-room, to deal with the problem.
You are that which experiences. You have experiences, but they need not be who you are, unless you insist upon it. "I am............. (whatever you say you are)."
When you've had enough of an experience, remember who you are, and what you are not.
Be-Have........

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

DOING & BEING

DOING & BEING -- A dialogue with the Buddha

" You sit so serenely, eyes downcast and arms at rest in gentle acceptance. What are you doing?

"Nothing."

"Are you not sitting? Are you not breathing? Are you not digesting your food?"

"That is my body doing what it needs to do, what it knows well how to do all by itself. No need for me to get involved. I am doing nothing."

"You are meditating?"

"My mind is meditating. 'I am' is doing nothing. I am being what I am. Just so"

"But surely you cannot live your whole life not-doing.....?"

"When there is something to do, do it and be what you need to be in order to get it done. When the task is finished, stop your Doing and go back to Being All."

And a deeper silence fell.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

FRIENDS

Friends -- fake or real?

FAKE: They go along with your lies if you go along with theirs.
REAL: Give it to you straight, and expect the same from you.

FAKE: Tell their truth, then avoid responsibility by saying "I was only joking".
REAL: Cop to their words, and the intent behind them.

FAKE: Mess up and cover up.
REAL: Mess up and go responsible for the damage they've caused. They clean up their messes.

FAKE: Pardon you when you fuck up.
REAL: Forgive you when you fuck up. They call it, then let it go

FAKE: Bail you out of gaol and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL: Sit next to you in gaol and say "Damn, we fucked up."

FAKE: Never see you cry.
REAL: Cry with you.

FAKE: Know a few things about you.
REAL: Could write a book about you with direct quotes.

FAKE: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL: Will be by your side when the times are tough, just in case.

FAKE: Will knock on your front door.
REAL: Will walk in the back door and say "It's only me!"

FAKE: Will agree with the person who talks shit about you.
REAL: Will give your critics no energy at all.

FAKE: Give you agreement.
REAL: Give you a second opinion, and support you anyway.

If you have at least at least 5 such Real Friends, you are richly blessed, but you already know that, don't you?

Monday, May 05, 2008

YOUR RIGHTS

Your rights end where another's begin. My rights end where yours begin.

It could be said that "rights" are not something we have, unless they are given. You may have right-of-way in traffic, but if someone on your left doesn't give it you, you don't have it.

In the past, kings had rights; priests had rights -- so did their mates. But ordinary "commoners" didn't have rights. The hoi-polloi had to be dragged kicking and screaming to the table to get them to give rights to people like you and me. And it was a milestone in political and social history when we got them.

The problem with anything given is that it can be taken away again. Anything that you give to yourself can never be taken from you without your permission.

It could also be said that everything is available to us, by right of being.

We have every right, and we have no right.........that's what-is. Does it matter? Only if there's something we want to be "right" about. Do you have to be right, or would you rather be happy?

Perhaps if we worried a little less about our rights, and got on with the business of enjoying what we have.


Over to you..........

THE ONLY CRIME......

The only crime is Theft.

Theft is the taking of something that is not willingly given.

Murder is the theft of life. Kidnap is the theft of liberty. Abuse is the theft of self-esteem and dignity, amongst other things.

Theft disempowers the thief -- always. It only ever disempowers the "victim" if he/she gives consent to the disempowerment.

A Japanese master was meditating late one evening when a thief stole into his house, brandishing his sword. He threatened to kill the master unless he gave him all his valuables. "Put up your sword," the master said calmly, "you may hurt yourself. My purse is over there on the sideboard; help yourself, but please leave me some money for my rent tomorrow."

Astonished, the thief did as he was bidden and turned for the door. "Don't forget to say 'thank you' ", prompted the master. The thief mumbled his thanks, and left.

The next day the village was buzzing -- several people had been robbed. When the master appeared, they asked him if he, too, had been robbed. "Why, no," replied the master. "I had a visitor; he was a little careless with his sword, but he seemed pleasant enough. We exchanged some words, I gave him some money, he thanked me and left."

The master chose not to be robbed. He chose not to be a victim.


I don't know if I could yet be that detached, but I get the point.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Sunday, April 20, 2008

AN IDEA WHOSE TIME HAS COME

In a book titled "The Hundredth Monkey", animal behaviour researchers on a remote island off Japan were observing a tribe of monkeys who spent some time each day picking up coconuts off the beach, cracking them open on a rock and and eating them. One day a female monkey was observed to pick up a coconut, crack it on a rock, begin to eat it but accidentally dropped it into the water. She picked it up again and discovered that the water had washed the sand off the coconut. She picked up another piece, dipped it into the water, and ate it, free of sand. Within a week, several of the other monkeys in the tribe had adopted the new practice of washing the sand off the coconuts before eating them.

Remarkable behaviour in itself. But of even more interest was the fact that researchers in other areas throughout the tropics began to report the same behaviour in monkeys they were observing. But there had been no chance whatever of any contact between the different groups of monkeys. It appeared that washing sand off the coconuts was an idea whose time had come.

Perhaps the same thing happened with ideas like "fire" and "wheel" -- that they arose at around the same time in several places around the globe.

Is it possible that You are An Idea Whose Time Has Come?

FUEL PRICES

The genius of spin who coined the term "weekly discount cycle" should be paid a whopping royalty by the oil companies for taking the heat off them. My perception is that we have a Weekly Surcharge Cycle -- 5 days of surcharge, 2 days of not-so-hefty pricing.

Whilst on the subject of fuel, I have a question that none of the motoring bodies seriously asks -- why is diesel fuel so expensive? I was brought up to believe (in the good old days when diesel was considerably cheaper than petrol) that diesel required less refinement to produce, which accounted for its cheaper price.

What happened?

Saturday, March 22, 2008

ALL FOR NOTHING

ALL (F)OR NOTHING



There’s nothing to get – and I hope you get it.
Colin Hayes


There once was a man who hated the sound of his own footsteps and the sight of his own shadow. He hit on a plan: he would run away from them. So he ran, and he ran, and he ran….but still his footsteps stayed there and his shadow followed him close behind. So he decided to run faster in order to get away from them. He ran faster, and faster, and faster…but still his footsteps were there and his shadow stuck by him. Day after day, week after week, year after year, he ran faster and faster, but still his footsteps and his shadow dogged him.

One day he dropped dead, which was a pity

Because all he had ever needed to do was –

Step into the shade

And

Sit down
Colin Hayes


When I first went into business, my partner and I decided to be “Generalists”. It came from a realisation that, in a world of increasing specialisation, experts were getting to know more and more about less and less. I figured they’d soon know everything about nothing, and that was not for me. I was happy to know less and less about more and more, even if l I finished up knowing nothing about everything. “I” considers himself to have been remarkably successful.

When you give up everything, you get it all.

There are two ways to get everything. One is to get something, then hang on to that while you get something else, then something else, and so on ad infinitum. That's what most of us do. In our search for satisfaction we grasp for more, for bigger, for better.The only problems with this plan are -- 1) That we keep dropping things we've got while reaching for something else; and 2) We realise we're not going to live long enough to get it all. So, in the face of the dwindling possibility of ultimate satisfaction we settle for gratification.

There is another way -- to give up everything until you have nothing. Nothing is a codename for infinite possibility. When you have Nothing, there is infinite space for whatever you need to show up, whenever you need it and you can be serenely content while you're not at it. That sounds to me like Abundance.

It's a paradox isn't it? To get whatever you want, you have to give up what you've got.

We're relucatant to do that because we believe in Scarcity and Lack. We're emotionally attached to the idea of a limited universe.

There's a very good reason why it won't work -- WANT. We think that if we don't want something, we won't get it. We think that the harder we want something, the more likely we are to get it. Could it be that the reverse is true? Could it be that the Wanting is the problem? Could it be that the Wanting becomes so addictive that it becomes an end unto itself? We want the Wanting, and that's what we've got? We never think to remove the Wanting, remove the desire, and create space for whatever to show up.

We say "It's either all or nothing", and we believe in that, as if the two ideas are mutually exclusive. But what if they're not? What if "All" and "Nothing" are two perceptions of the same thing -- unlimited possibility?

So let me re-state the paradox -- To get what you want you must give it all up, including the wanting.

And the rich young ruler went away disappointed (remember the one about a camel getting through the "eye of the needle"?)

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

BLAME or RESPONSIBILITY

Blame implies the existence of a conscious intent.

Responsibility implies involvement.

Blame is assigned to someone/thing else. Even when I declare "I blame myself", there is a Blamer and a Blamed -- probably "I" and "Me". It is a weapon of punishment and control.

Blame is an attempt to avoid responsibility.

Responsibility is something you accept and creatively engage with.

Blame is a one-way, dead-end cul-de-sac to anger and depression.

Responsibility is an open freeway to freedom.

Sunday, November 18, 2007

BELIEFS

Beliefs are bridges over what you don't know.

Every belief is based on no direct experience.

When you know something from direct experience, belief is no longer necessary.

Living according to beliefs (P.S. they're not even yours, you know --- you adopted them Nth-hand from others) is like going to a lavish restaurant and eating the menu instead of the meal.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

39 THINGS I'VE LEARNT THE HARD WAY (and still counting)

* There is no free lunch.

* It's all an illusion; we pretend it's real until we get carried away by our own pretense.

* Whatever we resist persists.

* My resentments cost me my freedom. I can't have both.

* A fool and my money are soon elected.

* We can choose our friends, but not our rellies. There is a reason for that.

* Good communication isn't hard: there are only 3 rules:-

  1. Say what is.
  2. Put it where it is (ie. in a context)
  3. Engage the listener.

* Never lick either a steak knife or the lid of a can you've just opened.

* Anyone who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter cannot be trusted. Pay attention.

* God has a sense of humour.

* God has no sense of humour. She takes you very literally at your word.

* When people say "I was only joking", they were telling you their truth: they just don't want to own up to it.

* Existence is an infinity of "This and that......and...." No possibility is excluded. Nothing is judged.
"Either this.........or that......." is an artifice created by the human mind that just wants to be right about its concepts, beliefs, opinions and conclusions.

* The purpose of life is life itself, just as it is.

* Your face and body after age 20 are all your own work.

* Keep trying new things. The Ark was built by a lone amateur. The Titanic was built by a bunch of highly qualified pros.

* There is no meaning -- we make that up. And it doesn't mean anything that it doesn't mean anything.

* A victim's life doesn't work, but most people take it up as a lifetime occupation.
* What is -- is. What ain't -- ain't. Everything else is just so much blah-blah-blah. Most people think the blah-blah-blah is somehow important.

* When "what-is" becomes more important than "what-ain't", suffering ceases.

* The only cause of suffering is addiction.

* This, too, will pass.

* There are no limits to the human capacity for stupidity.

* Given enough time and space, everything comes back to now/here.

* Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

* What your life is about is up to you. Quit looking elsewhere for "the answer".

* "The answer" is you, and your experience right now. You just forgot what the question was.

* Never, ever, ever, say anything to a woman that even remotely hints that she might be pregnant, unless you can actually see a baby emerging from her at that moment.

* It's all about Balance. Nature balances itself.

* There are consequences to everything, including every attempt to manipulate the consequences.

* The more things change, the more they stay the same.

* When something changes, it's component elements remain the same; the same shit just got moved around a bit, that's all. We don't need change; we need transformation.

* Women are mean and men are stupid.

* Boys.....never, ever hit a girl. No matter how painfully they taunt you, girls have universal moral immunity, and they know it.

* There is a universe of difference between Knowledge and Wisdom, Sympathy and Empathy, Quitting and Surrender, Believing and Knowing.

* A judge called Pilate asked one of his prisoners "You talk about Truth; what is Truth?" The other bloke just looked at him, without a flicker of attitude. Pilate was left carrying his own baggage. He couldn't handle it.
* The longer the explanation, the bigger the lie.
* My emotions are my responsibility, no-one else's. Your feelings are yours; share them by all means, but don't dump them on anyone else.
* What others think of me is none of my business.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

MIRACLES?

Albert Einstein is quoted as saying "There are only two ways to live your life: one is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

I find both to be true -- Everything is a miracle, AND nothing is a miracle.

The best way I can explain this paradox is by saying "Everything is a miracle; and it doesn't mean anything that everything is a miracle -- there's nothing miraculous about that".

Seeing everything as a miracle returns me to my childhood, when everything was indeed fresh, and new and a constant source of wonder and awe, proper subjects for an insatiable curiosity and quest for experience. To be curious for experience is to know the heart of God. No one thing is any more or less important than any other. It's all a miracle.

And none of it is a miracle. It is what it is -- life. The purpose of life is life itself. If none of it is miraculous or important, then we cannot get hooked up on it. We are free. We can move on in gratitude. When we get hooked up in any way, we hit the pause button on life. And it's OK to experience that, too.

The great thing about this life is that we cannot fail. It's not an exam to be passed -- it's an experience to be had. An un-judged experience of Now is the timeless Prize.


Monday, October 08, 2007

YOU ARE WHAT YOU RESIST

Am I missing something?

This from Amanda Blair's column in yesterday's Adelaide Sunday Mail headlined "BIAS CUTS BOTH WAYS" --

.......52 year-old doctor, Tracie O'Keefe. At 15, as a young male, she began taking hormones and at 21 she had gender reassignment surgery.
Tracie had always known she was female, but nature had dished out the wrong set of genitals.
Some 30 years later she is living with her long term partner, Katrina Fox in a lesbian relationship....."

Oh hello!?? Now that is having a bet each way.

But I digress.....

Columnist Amanda went on to report Tracie's bitch about being discriminated against by the organizers of a function for "lesbian raised females" who've refused her admission on the grounds that the function was only for lesbians raised as females from birth. Amanda went on to express surprise that people who had experienced so much discrimination in their lives should themselves turn out to be arch discriminators.

Which planet did this lady just arrive from?

I don't remember now who introduced me to this concept, but I call it the Topdog/Underdog syndrome. In any social interaction, the chances are better than even that one party will assume the position of Topdog ("I'm doing this for your own good!"); and the other will assume the posture of Underdog ("Yes sir, thank you sir, three bags full sir"). Then will come a time when the Underdog becomes Topdog, either with that person or with someone else. When that happens, watch that Underdog become a meaner, more savage, devious Topdog than his/her previous tormentors ever were!! Listen around you. It's going on all the time. Haven't you ever looked at someone whose family you know and noticed "She does her mother better than her mother!"

There are many unalterable Laws of Life in this weird
realm we live in. Here are three of them --

  • What you resist -- persists
  • You BECOME what you resist
  • You already ARE what you resist, and what you resist will keep showing up in your face until you say "yes" to your ownership of it.
But we don't cop to it. We're afraid that, by saying "Yes, I am that way sometimes", we'll become the victim of it. The reverse is true. By denying it, we're perpetuating it and the dominance of it over out well-being. By saying "yes" to what we don't like, we give ourselves freedom to choose -- we give ourselves author-ity in the matter.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENTS

FEAR

Fear is an emotional reaction to a perceived departure from your emotional attachment to the way you think things ought to be. The severity of the attachment determines the debilitating severity of the resulting Fear.

ANGER

Complaint, with the volume turned up.

An extreme emotional attachment to the way you think things ought to be, and a reactive resistance to your perception of a departure from that.

REMORSE

An emotional attachment to the way you think you ought to be, and a reactive awareness of your departure from that ideal.

-------------------

Because these conditions were never reasoned into in the first place, they cannot be reasoned out of. The way out is intuitive/emotional. This is not about change: this is about transformation.

A goose was once raised in a large bottle. As it grew, however, it became too large for the bottle. Question:- How do you get the goose out, without damaging either the goose or the bottle? Answer:- The goose is out. It was never in in the first place -- that was a lie.

For peace of no-mind, all attachments must be dropped. Let 'em go (and don't get attached to getting unattached!)

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

DEFINITION & INFINITION

When we define something we give it boundaries and limits, so that it will fit into a pigeonhole of "understanding".

When a boundary is drawn around anything, we are then able to discriminate between that which "it is" and that which "it is not". Discrimination is a comfort to the scared Mind, ever fearful of not-knowing and not-being-in-control. An illusion of Certainty arises from the inevitable judging of Right from Wrong, Good from Bad, Safe from Dangerous.

The end results are Polarity, Position-ality and Right-eousness. Our growth has got stuck in an endless loop of feedback.

Infinition, on the other hand, is the antithesis of Definition. There are no boundaries, no limits. No pigeonholes, no "understanding". Infinition opens to the possibility of Wisdom. Infinition is satisfied to experience the experience, rather than waste time trying to understand it. e.g. As a lad, I could have read and understood all the books in the world about Balance, but I still would not have been able to ride a bike. To do that, I had to get on it and go for a ride. To live life, all you have to do is get on and go for the ride. Experiencing is the prize; understanding is the booby-prize. That is Wisdom

In Infinition, there is no judgmental discrimination: only simple Awareness. Innocence (I-know- sense). No criticism; nothing to get defensive about. There is Openness to Possibiility.

Infinition is a context. It allows Definition to exist -- unmolested. The Infinite is always greater than the Finite.


OPINIONS

We all have opinions on just about everything; and we treasure those opinions more highly than life itself.

Do you want to know how important your opinions really are? Here is a simple test you can do to find out.......

.......One night, preferably moonless, go to a secluded place in the open, look up at the stars, and give them your opinions on anything and everything. Really put them out there! Go for broke (hence the advice to go somewhere isolated, otherwise the neighbours might call 000.)

Give it all you've got -- loud and passionate.

When you're finally done, watch very carefully and observe how much the universe around you moves as a result of your opinions.

Get the message.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

And it is also true that there is a magic about you for which the universe will move.

But it doesn't lie anywhere near your beliefs, concepts or opinions -- or anyone else's either.

GROUPS

Selfishness prevails over altruism within any group.

But altruistic groups, sooner or later, prevail over selfish groups.

Everything else is just so much opinion.

Monday, July 16, 2007

HAPPINESS

Happiness is that which remains after suffering is dropped. Happiness is the absence of Unhappiness.

Like the sun on a cloudy day, Happiness may be obscured from time to time, but it never goes away. It is available, whenever we're ready to change our point of view.

Why are we so reluctant to drop our suffering and experience happiness? What is the payoff supposed to be for withholding from our own happiness and wellbeing?

Hmmmmm?

Who do we think we're controlling by being unhappy?

Sit on that and ponder awhile.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

PARDON ME, BUT .............

When you Pardon someone,
It's an act of arrogance and control -- lightyears away from Forgiveness.

Forgiving is LETTING GO
Pardoning is HANGING ON. A connection of obligation remains. There's an element of control ("Do it again and I'll bust your balls!")

Do you want to be free?

Then STOP.......stop........stop...........
Just...........let.........go.

When Forgivness happens (and it's often an act of grace) baggage is dropped forever. The one most blessed is the Forgiver.

Two celibate monks were travelling from one village to another. They came across a swift stream, where there was a woman waiting on the bank, fearful of the depth and the current. She begged the monks to carry her across.
The elder of the two picked her up, and the three made their way safely to the other side, where the woman thanked them profusely and went her separate way.
For the next mile the two monks travelled in silence, but the youger monk was in turmoil. Finally he could contain himself no longer. "You should not have done that," he railed upon the elder monk. "We are celibates. We are forbidden from touching women. You have been tainted. The abbott will be furious when he finds out!"
The elder monk turned to his companion and replied calmly, "She asked for a lift. I gave her a lift, and put her down a mile back. How come you're still carrying her?"

Forgiveness is not an occasional act: it is a permanent way of being in this world.

TO BE HONEST WITH YOU.....

Have you ever heard a statement prefaced by "Well, to be honest with you....."

Have you ever heard your self say it?

When you hear that one next time -- be aware.......
(There's a lie lurking nearby.)

YOU'RE A LONG TIME DEAD

I remembered that old saying just a day or two ago -- You're a long time dead....
Well, no time at all really.
Maybe it's a good time to take time (while you still have time) to experience whatever takes your fancy,
while "you" is still alive.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

THINK FOR YOURSELF

Think for yourself.

There are no right or wrong answers; no right or wrong turnings --
Only Experience, being experienced.
The question is, are you home for the experience, or out on the world's longest lunch-hour?

John Lennon wrote in "Beautiful Boy" -- "Life is what's happening while you're making other plans."


To think for yourself is to be free of those who seek to influence your choices.

Life serves up a smorgasbord of experience, with an invitation to be conscious and present for the feast.

No need to dress up: come as you are.