Knowing is yours;
Fresh and original.
Believing is borrowed,
Stale and copied.
Believing is a bit like one of those umpteenth-generation copies of a defective video
That people send in your emails.
Any belief is a copy of someone else's limited conclusions
About a long-dead experience.
A belief is as nourishing and tasty as someone's press review of a long-gone-cold restaurant meal.
Believing and disbelieving come cheap.
You don't have to invest yourself,
Investigate for yourself,
Or think or feel for yourself.
Belief is for the lazy --
A way of existing without living;
A way of being right
Without having to put your arse on the line.
Victims love believing --
They know they're gonna be let down,
Another thing to be right about.
The getting of Knowing
Involves effort, risk and courage,
And the willingness to navigate the doldrums of belief-less Not-Knowing.
No-one gets to Knowing without passing through Not-knowing.
And all minds hate not-knowing.
And if you believe any of the above
You haven't been paying attention.
Do beliefs have any useful function?
I think so.
They make temporary connections between points of real experience,
Bridging intervening gulfs of what I don't know.
They make good temporary ladders and scaffolds
On which I can climb to a different viewpoint
Enabling me to see from a different perspective.
But the key word is "temporary".
They should be used and demolished as quickly and as often as possible,
Before they become part of the landscape.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
LIVE DANGEROUSLY
The crowd lives tepid, lukewarm lives,
Neither hot nor cold,
Avoiding extremes,
Always carefully manoeuvring safely along a mid-line crisis.
Those who are obsessed with safety and security
Will never be explorers, discoverers, or even first-generation settlers.
By the time they feel safe enough to move anywhere new,
Their destination will be well and truly stale, sterile and out of date.
Knowledge is cold.
Knowing wisdom is hot.
A lukewarm life is neither living nor dying;
A living death and a deathly life
Leading where?
To the grave.
Every one of our securities and safeties leads to a living death.
You want to be a zombie, surviving just long enough to die?
Yes? Well, that's your prerogative.
But when you get to the threshold at the end of your days
You will be asked, as you surrender your consciousness to the gatekeeper -
"Is that all there is?"
Opportunity dances seductively before you!
Dance with it, as if no-one is watching.
However and whatever you're feeling,
Celebrate your ability to feel it!
One who has lived totally, intensely
Comes to know the deathless within him.
The grave may be waiting,
But not death.
He got Death out of the way long ago
So that he could get on with Life.
Neither hot nor cold,
Avoiding extremes,
Always carefully manoeuvring safely along a mid-line crisis.
Those who are obsessed with safety and security
Will never be explorers, discoverers, or even first-generation settlers.
By the time they feel safe enough to move anywhere new,
Their destination will be well and truly stale, sterile and out of date.
Knowledge is cold.
Knowing wisdom is hot.
A lukewarm life is neither living nor dying;
A living death and a deathly life
Leading where?
To the grave.
Every one of our securities and safeties leads to a living death.
You want to be a zombie, surviving just long enough to die?
Yes? Well, that's your prerogative.
But when you get to the threshold at the end of your days
You will be asked, as you surrender your consciousness to the gatekeeper -
"Is that all there is?"
Opportunity dances seductively before you!
Dance with it, as if no-one is watching.
However and whatever you're feeling,
Celebrate your ability to feel it!
One who has lived totally, intensely
Comes to know the deathless within him.
The grave may be waiting,
But not death.
He got Death out of the way long ago
So that he could get on with Life.
FEAR
If you're afraid of danger,
You do not yet know your immortal self.
Fear shows up our ignorance,
That's all.
You do not yet know your immortal self.
Fear shows up our ignorance,
That's all.
JEALOUSY
Jealousy is a very compulsive, insane, irrational form of Inadequacy
With a sneaky Get-Out-of-Gaol-Free Card thrown in.
The sufferer tries (often very successfully) to make someone else responsible
For making him/her feel Enough and Sufficient to himself.
As a strategy -- "I make myself feel jealous to feel adequate and happy" --
It's doomed to failure.
As a generality,
Men and women have differently flavoured jealousies
That haven't changed since our days as trogolodytes:
For a woman, Jealousy sounds like "I cannot survive without this person."
For a man, Jealousy sounds (and looks) like "This person is My Property".
Jealous people suck.
And bully. And manipulate and control.......
And they are amazingly successful at finding willing victims
Who get their jollies out of being loved that way.
People who are comfortably enough with and for themselves
Don't get jealous.
Ever.
And they tend not to get emotionally entangled with people on the lookout
For someone to cling to.
So if you get a twinge of jealousy,
You now know where to look.
If you feel someone suckering onto you,
Walk away.
It's the kindest and most empowering thing you can do
For both of you.
With a sneaky Get-Out-of-Gaol-Free Card thrown in.
The sufferer tries (often very successfully) to make someone else responsible
For making him/her feel Enough and Sufficient to himself.
As a strategy -- "I make myself feel jealous to feel adequate and happy" --
It's doomed to failure.
As a generality,
Men and women have differently flavoured jealousies
That haven't changed since our days as trogolodytes:
For a woman, Jealousy sounds like "I cannot survive without this person."
For a man, Jealousy sounds (and looks) like "This person is My Property".
Jealous people suck.
And bully. And manipulate and control.......
And they are amazingly successful at finding willing victims
Who get their jollies out of being loved that way.
People who are comfortably enough with and for themselves
Don't get jealous.
Ever.
And they tend not to get emotionally entangled with people on the lookout
For someone to cling to.
So if you get a twinge of jealousy,
You now know where to look.
If you feel someone suckering onto you,
Walk away.
It's the kindest and most empowering thing you can do
For both of you.
NEGATIVE SELF-IMAGE
Your negative self-image is the bastard brainchild
Of your Inner Critic and your Fear of Not-surviving.
Your negative self-image is almost certainly hidden from you --
Your ego is obsessed with looking good,
And your NSI is nastier than you know;
Your mind will do anything to keep it out of sight,
From others and yourself.
Over the years, you and others may have caught an odd glimpse or two of bits of it,
But I venture to suggest you have no idea what the whole thing looks like.
You are terrified of it,
And you have every right to be.
You created it to help you get along,
But your creation has turned feral on you.
Your Negative Self-Image is the Mole that very effectively arranges to sabotage
Your highest endeavours and aspirations.
Get this......
Your negative self image DESPISES you.
It has no respect or admiration for you whatsoever.
When you sold out and turned your life over to him/her
It lost all regard for you and your wellbeing,
And so did you.
Do you think it might be a good idea
To find out what it is?
Do you have that much courage and commitment?
Of your Inner Critic and your Fear of Not-surviving.
Your negative self-image is almost certainly hidden from you --
Your ego is obsessed with looking good,
And your NSI is nastier than you know;
Your mind will do anything to keep it out of sight,
From others and yourself.
Over the years, you and others may have caught an odd glimpse or two of bits of it,
But I venture to suggest you have no idea what the whole thing looks like.
You are terrified of it,
And you have every right to be.
You created it to help you get along,
But your creation has turned feral on you.
Your Negative Self-Image is the Mole that very effectively arranges to sabotage
Your highest endeavours and aspirations.
Get this......
Your negative self image DESPISES you.
It has no respect or admiration for you whatsoever.
When you sold out and turned your life over to him/her
It lost all regard for you and your wellbeing,
And so did you.
Do you think it might be a good idea
To find out what it is?
Do you have that much courage and commitment?
Monday, August 23, 2010
SELF-ESTEEM
Old habits sometimes die hard.
I still catch myself occasionally concerning myself about what someone else thinks of me.
(Especially my children and grandchildren).
What am I not giving to myself?
If I need someone -- anyone -- "liking" me,
It's a sure sign of the presence of guilt, embarrassment or shame,
And that there is some liking to be done over here in my space.
If I need someone to respect me,
There is some self-respect lacking here in my own backyard.
When I'm not liking or respecting myself,
I'm unconsciously teaching others to not like or respect me, too.
That's how it works.
Despising oneself and expecting others to fill the Affection Deficit
Is, at best, unrealistic, and
At worst,
A shitty Testing Game
Of manipulation and control.
If we don't respect our self,
The rest of the world will end up agreeing with us --
Most of them anyway.
When we do like and respect our selves,
What others think and feel doesn't much matter
To our peace of mind.
I still catch myself occasionally concerning myself about what someone else thinks of me.
(Especially my children and grandchildren).
What am I not giving to myself?
If I need someone -- anyone -- "liking" me,
It's a sure sign of the presence of guilt, embarrassment or shame,
And that there is some liking to be done over here in my space.
If I need someone to respect me,
There is some self-respect lacking here in my own backyard.
When I'm not liking or respecting myself,
I'm unconsciously teaching others to not like or respect me, too.
That's how it works.
Despising oneself and expecting others to fill the Affection Deficit
Is, at best, unrealistic, and
At worst,
A shitty Testing Game
Of manipulation and control.
If we don't respect our self,
The rest of the world will end up agreeing with us --
Most of them anyway.
When we do like and respect our selves,
What others think and feel doesn't much matter
To our peace of mind.
A SELF-EXAMINATION -- ANGER
Consider the following questions. Find at least 5 answers for each.
- How am I creating so many situations to get angry at?
- What does anger do for me? What are its positive benefits? (There are some, or we wouldn't do it.)
- What could I possibly be believing that causes all these frustrations?
- What expectations do I have of other people and myself that are not being met?
- What might I be putting out that attracts in others the need to irritate me?
- Why might I believe that, in order to get what I want, it's best to get angry?
Complete the following sentences with at least 5 different endings:
- Looking at what I've just written, I'm beginning to realise.......................
- Looking through the above discoveries, I could reduce my contribution to fuelling my own anger by....................
- If I were less angry, less often...................................
A SELF-EXAMINATION -- BELIEFS AND OTHER LIMITATIONS
The purpose of this meditation
Is to listen to the thoughts and feelings,
And the beliefs and limiting attitudes
That the questions provoke.
Please don't treat this meditation as an inquisition --
Be firm, loving, gentle, and empathetic in your probing........
Is to listen to the thoughts and feelings,
And the beliefs and limiting attitudes
That the questions provoke.
Please don't treat this meditation as an inquisition --
Be firm, loving, gentle, and empathetic in your probing........
- Complete this sentence stem at least 10 times --- "To be a better person, I should......................"
- For each ending, ask "Why?" Write down at least 5 responses to each.
- For each sentence ending, now substitute the stem -- " If I really wanted to, I COULD.............."
- Then, for each sentence, gently enquire "Why haven't you? Again, write down at least 5 responses to each.
Be with those last responses,
And allow whatever happens.
To happen.
Be aware.
Be the uncritical Watcher.
List all the negative messages you got about anything you can remember, from
- your immediate family,
- your relatives,
- your teachers
- your other authority figures
- your friends
- your church
Observe and allow any feelings and thoughts that arise.
Wherever there is a problem
There is something yet to KNOW,
And a possibility you've overlooked.
List any problems you're having with --
- your Body
- your Finances
- your Work
- your Relationships
- your Love Life
What kind of thoughts are you having that feed into this problem? Be specific.
What do you know about yourself in each of these categories? Write each belief down. Censor nothing. When the Belief List is exhausted, look at each one in turn, and gently ask yourself -- Is this really true, in every case?
Or are there times and places when the opposite is true?
What are those times and places?
THE HARDEST THING TO SAY.....
Stand naked in front of a full-length mirror.
Look who you see there in the eye............
Look who you see there in the eye............
I love and accept you exactly as you are.
Repeat until all traces of discomfort or smugness disappear.
NOW AND FUTURE PASSED
THE PAST
The past is a just a grab-bag of imperfect products of experience and soul-memory, re-hashed now.
One thing I've noticed about past history -- for most people it keeps repeating itself.
People who drive down the freeway with their heads glued to the rear-view mirror
Keep crashing into things.
THE FUTURE
The future is nothing more than a bunch of imagined effects and possible consequences of what I create now.
The Past and the Future are constructs of the mind. Psychologists assume (usually safely) that the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour. It's a fairly safe assumption because the nexus between Past and Future can only be broken by a conscious, deliberate act in the Present moment and most people, outside of a sneeze or an orgasm, are rarely, if ever fully present and available to Now.
The assumption of connection is totally invalidated, however, if there is any kind of conscious intervention or reinvention in the present.
Whether the connection between the so-called Past and Future is intact or broken, answers for the future do not lie in the past; they spring from questions asked here and now. If no creative questions are asked now, now will merely repeat itself ad infinitum.
NOW
Without Now, the past and the future do not exist, even in fantasy.
Now is not only the fulcrum,
The balance-point between the Past and the Future,
The Present is also the father,
The source of both the Past and the Future.
Which came first -- the past or the present?
The present.
Without this present, there is no past, or future.
Now is the greatest "I" has ever been, and will ever be;
Evolution does not slide backwards.
Now is the source and the purpose of all I once was
And the launching pad for what I will be.
Why waste time and energy pondering who you think you might have been in the past
Or what you think you might become in the future
When you don't know who you truly are now?
When you finally get around to knowing what you are now,
There is nothing to justify --
So the past is no longer important
(When your destination is in sight, the map of how you got there is irrelevant).
When you finally get around to knowing what you are now,
The future takes care of itself.
Every Now moment is a permissive virgin;
Learn to live in harmony with this now.
Instead of trying to squeeze yourself into something you think you ought to be,
Get to know who you are now;
(How hard can that be?)
If you want something to remember in your old age,
Make each now moment memorable;
Live it as fully as you can stand..........
And then some.
"What will become of me?" your mind cries in some anguish.
What will you become?
You will become what you already are -- YOU.
Get comfortable with that.
If you're really desperate to change what you become,
Make some choices to expand what you are now.
You're living an adventure.
Do whatever you're drawn to
And cop to the consequences.
Be a "yes" sayer.
This is the tyranny of Now --
Now never ends. Now is forever.
It has never been any other way,
Except in the glovebox of your mind.
The past is a just a grab-bag of imperfect products of experience and soul-memory, re-hashed now.
One thing I've noticed about past history -- for most people it keeps repeating itself.
People who drive down the freeway with their heads glued to the rear-view mirror
Keep crashing into things.
THE FUTURE
The future is nothing more than a bunch of imagined effects and possible consequences of what I create now.
The Past and the Future are constructs of the mind. Psychologists assume (usually safely) that the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour. It's a fairly safe assumption because the nexus between Past and Future can only be broken by a conscious, deliberate act in the Present moment and most people, outside of a sneeze or an orgasm, are rarely, if ever fully present and available to Now.
The assumption of connection is totally invalidated, however, if there is any kind of conscious intervention or reinvention in the present.
Whether the connection between the so-called Past and Future is intact or broken, answers for the future do not lie in the past; they spring from questions asked here and now. If no creative questions are asked now, now will merely repeat itself ad infinitum.
NOW
Without Now, the past and the future do not exist, even in fantasy.
Now is not only the fulcrum,
The balance-point between the Past and the Future,
The Present is also the father,
The source of both the Past and the Future.
Which came first -- the past or the present?
The present.
Without this present, there is no past, or future.
Now is the greatest "I" has ever been, and will ever be;
Evolution does not slide backwards.
Now is the source and the purpose of all I once was
And the launching pad for what I will be.
Why waste time and energy pondering who you think you might have been in the past
Or what you think you might become in the future
When you don't know who you truly are now?
When you finally get around to knowing what you are now,
There is nothing to justify --
So the past is no longer important
(When your destination is in sight, the map of how you got there is irrelevant).
When you finally get around to knowing what you are now,
The future takes care of itself.
Every Now moment is a permissive virgin;
Learn to live in harmony with this now.
Instead of trying to squeeze yourself into something you think you ought to be,
Get to know who you are now;
(How hard can that be?)
If you want something to remember in your old age,
Make each now moment memorable;
Live it as fully as you can stand..........
And then some.
"What will become of me?" your mind cries in some anguish.
What will you become?
You will become what you already are -- YOU.
Get comfortable with that.
If you're really desperate to change what you become,
Make some choices to expand what you are now.
You're living an adventure.
Do whatever you're drawn to
And cop to the consequences.
Be a "yes" sayer.
This is the tyranny of Now --
Now never ends. Now is forever.
It has never been any other way,
Except in the glovebox of your mind.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
HAPPINESS
I have a "What-If" for you.
Your head ain't gonna like it.
But if you can stand in this possibility for a while,
Not because it's The Truth -- it isn't,
(Well, not entirely anyway)
But because you might, as I did, get a shift in perspective about this enigmatic no-thing
Called Happiness.
You might loosen up a bit about how equivocal it seems to be.........
Wouldn't that be something?
Wouldn't getting happy be worth telling your head
To get knotted somewhere else for 10 minutes
While you take a bath in hot possibility?
Your head ain't gonna like it.
But if you can stand in this possibility for a while,
Not because it's The Truth -- it isn't,
(Well, not entirely anyway)
But because you might, as I did, get a shift in perspective about this enigmatic no-thing
Called Happiness.
You might loosen up a bit about how equivocal it seems to be.........
Wouldn't that be something?
Wouldn't getting happy be worth telling your head
To get knotted somewhere else for 10 minutes
While you take a bath in hot possibility?
PRO-POSITION
Everyone is happy,
All of the time,
Because we are all, according to our will,
Doing exactly what we want to do,
Feeling exactly what we want to feel,
And experiencing exactly what we put out for.
We're just not happy about being so happy and successful!
Why?
Because we haven't realised what's going on.
If you're ill, and suffering about it, there's something you haven't "got" yet.
If you're feeling (angry), it's because you aren't done yet with the experience of being (angry).
If you're feeling impoverished in any way,
It's because there's some emotional juice in it for you.
If you're unhappy, it's because you choose to be this way.
And you are HAPPY in your misery.
You are being whatever you are being
Because that satisfies some need in you right now.
Now, the question is --
"What is that need? Why would someone do what I'm doing to myself?"
If a carpenter hits his thumb with his hammer,
He's not doing it for nothing;
What might the supposed payoff be?
Sympathy? Time off work? Compensation? To get some hold over The Boss?.........
(Fill in your own answers)
As pre-toddlers
We all got scared that our essential needs might not be met.
So we sold out on our natural happiness
And adopted Unhappiness
To manipulate others to look after us.
It wasn't neccessary -- we were mistaken about that, too.
But we developed a belief in Unhappiness
As valid way of responding to a challenging environment.
As valid way of responding to a challenging environment.
Manipulation fairly quickly turned to efforts to dominate and control,
And we've been hard at it ever since
Trying to prove that the best way to get to Happiness
Is to be Unhappy.
We've missed a few startlingly obvious points --
- The strategy is not working. Du-uh-uh-uh!
- We've gotten old enough to take care of our own needs.
- Our personal Happiness is our business, no-one else's
- Happiness is not dependent on any one or any thing, and it will not be manipulated; it can only be accepted and realised out of What-Is.
Happiness begins to peep through the storm clouds when we realise --
- There's no other entity I would rather be than my self,
- There's no other place or time than I would rather be than here and now.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
MANIFESTING ABUNDANCE
A PROCESS
OF FEELING
.1. Contemplate the thought
.2. Embrace it with a feeling
.3. Bring it forth
.4. See yourself not getting it.
.5. Let it go
First there is the Thought about what you want. Harbour it, without need. State your intention. What is the feeling you want to experience? En-joy the thought behind the desire for its own sake. Receive the love of the simple act of contemplating. See it in your mind's eye. Image-ine it.
Next, become aware of the feeling through which the desire arrived. Perhaps that feeling was a kind of longing, perhaps it was more one of frustration. Whatever that feeling was, acknowledge it in gratitude ("Thank you for bringing me this desire"), and then let the feeling go. Then build on the feeling of gratitude; thankfulness for the ability to create what you want here/now in your experience. Allow Gratitude to enfold the idea. Surrender.... surrender...... surrender...... without giving your power away. Loosen up on what you think what you want should look like. Open up to what you really want; express that as a feeling you want to have as a result of getting what you want. Realise that that feeling is known to you (we cannot desire what we don't know) and is already available to you, with or without whatever you're trying to create. Connect with that. Give it to yourself. As a good gardener prepares the ground for the seeds he/she wants to grow, prepare yourself to receive and nourish what it is that you desire.
There. Step .3. -- Bringing it forth -- is already taken care of. Here it already is. It now exists in your experience -- the only place where it will ever exist for you anyway.
Now, the hard bit. See yourself without what you think you want and sit with that until you're entirely OK with it. It is a law of creating that --
You cannot have that which you're not willing to NOT have.
Ah, the Positive Thinkers don't tell you about that one, do they? They resist the idea as "negative". Maybe that's one reason why they eventually lose what they amass, and find they've missed out on what they really wanted all along.
Do you still feel Scarcity or Lack?
That is what's stopping you;
It's crowding your space.
Wanting anything will leave you ---- wanting.
Your wanting is filling you up,
Leaving no room for anything else.
What you want sees the "House Full" sign
And moves on somewhere else.
Do you still want the Wanting?
No?
Then let go of the wanting.
Let it go; create some space,
And welcome whatever shows up in that space.
If you cannot be entirely OK with not getting what you want, take a step back to the next best option and get happy and calm about your resistance to the idea.
*********
"I Am" is all that there is. So contemplating what you want, or something better, into light, and embracing it with a welcoming feeling brings it forth from the "I Am". It is created. Don't intrude. Let go of it, support it, set it free. Release that creative desire into the infinite universe and let existence do what it does every moment -- manifest desire. Trust that it is so.
(I'll let you in on a secret -- what you want actually already was so before you became aware of the thought of wanting it -- but I didn't tell you that at the outset because you probably wouldn't have believed it. Even if you don't believe it now, "I Am" doesn't care. What is so, is so, regardless of what we believe. If we don't believe it, it probably won't show up for us, that's all. But it will for others, because it exists)
(I'll let you in on a secret -- what you want actually already was so before you became aware of the thought of wanting it -- but I didn't tell you that at the outset because you probably wouldn't have believed it. Even if you don't believe it now, "I Am" doesn't care. What is so, is so, regardless of what we believe. If we don't believe it, it probably won't show up for us, that's all. But it will for others, because it exists)
Everything you have ever wanted, and everything you ever will want, exists and begins in and with you. Allow it to come forth! Get out of your own way!
So Be It.
Amen.
I already have abundance.
Sitting here in my cottage,
Writing this to you,
Looking out at my garden, with the sunlight flashing off the leaves like a universe of stars,
I have abundance.
My awareness is full.
I have eaten, and there is more food in my refrigerator than I can eat without making myself sick. I am sheltered from the wind and the rain, and although I do not have much money in my wallet, it is more than I can spend right here at this moment.
Right here and now,
I have Abundance.
How about you?
How about you?
To find otherwise, we have to work hard;
We have to start worrying
About an imagined future -- a phantasy.
How about you?
Contemplate the difference in feeling between Scarcity/Lack and Emptiness.
Scarcity/Lack fills you up with a negative emotional charge, repelling Possibility;
Emptiness has no emotion, otherwise it wouldn't be "empty".
Emptiness is pure Possibility.
Contemplate the difference in feeling between Scarcity/Lack and Emptiness.
Scarcity/Lack fills you up with a negative emotional charge, repelling Possibility;
Emptiness has no emotion, otherwise it wouldn't be "empty".
Emptiness is pure Possibility.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
NO OBLIGATION
Stephen Crane
A Man said to the Universe,
"Sir, I exist."
"However," replied the universe,
"The fact has not created in me
A sense of obligation."
Kinda licks all the icing off your self-importance,
Don't it?
ASSUMPTIONS
As far as I've been able to see,
It's not possible to live any kind of life without allowing assumptions.
The trick is to aware-fully make assumptions,
Rather than allow assumptions to unconsciously make you.
Consciously gauge probabilities
On the basis of which you can go on to form reasonable and emotionally balanced assumptions
And then take appropriate risks.
Taking risks is a basic human need.
Sentient beings who don't take risks -- die:
That process is called evolution.
Risks are healthy; hazards are not.
The hazard of making assumptions
Is in not recognising that you're making them.
How do we know when we're being persuaded to swallow an assumption or three?
We start hearing phrases like --
How do I recognise when I've personally been squatting on an assumption that I don't know about?
Life has given me a couple of marker-flags......
Called Failure and Embarrassment.
What great gifts!
They're like flashing neon signs to me that there are some assumptions I've been leaning on
That no longer stand up.
When you have an Assumption that you blithely treat as Fact,
Then you're headed for possibly serious trouble.
Become aware,
And be grateful for times when life reminds you
That you're standing on an assumption as if it were gospel truth.
(Do you want the gospel truth?
Are you sure? This is the cosmic joke.
OK. Here it is.....
There is no such thing as The Truth.
Pop that in your pipe and smoke it.)
I've found it impossible to avoid making assumptions,
So I've surrendered to that
And I now create them quite deliberately.
Assumptions, I've found, can take us to some very interesting places
And can be very creative , and even transforming.
It's important for freedom, however,
To continually examine them,
And discard them
Once we've seen all that what we wanted to see from that place.
Move on.
Can any of us live life without assumptions?
I doubt it.
But, if possible, they should never be the same assumptions
From one day to the next.
How good would it be if,
At the end of each day,
We could deliberately empty the Recycle Bin,
And wake up each new day,
Devoid of yesterday's leftovers --
Absolutely afresh?
I'm going to try that for the next 21 days.
It's not possible to live any kind of life without allowing assumptions.
The trick is to aware-fully make assumptions,
Rather than allow assumptions to unconsciously make you.
Consciously gauge probabilities
On the basis of which you can go on to form reasonable and emotionally balanced assumptions
And then take appropriate risks.
Taking risks is a basic human need.
Sentient beings who don't take risks -- die:
That process is called evolution.
Risks are healthy; hazards are not.
The hazard of making assumptions
Is in not recognising that you're making them.
How do we know when we're being persuaded to swallow an assumption or three?
We start hearing phrases like --
- Everybody/we all/any idiot knows that.........
- It's self-evident/obvious that.........
- Obviously/undoubtedly/surely...............
- If you don't agree with what I say then you're against us..........
How do I recognise when I've personally been squatting on an assumption that I don't know about?
Life has given me a couple of marker-flags......
Called Failure and Embarrassment.
What great gifts!
They're like flashing neon signs to me that there are some assumptions I've been leaning on
That no longer stand up.
When you have an Assumption that you blithely treat as Fact,
Then you're headed for possibly serious trouble.
Become aware,
And be grateful for times when life reminds you
That you're standing on an assumption as if it were gospel truth.
(Do you want the gospel truth?
Are you sure? This is the cosmic joke.
OK. Here it is.....
There is no such thing as The Truth.
Pop that in your pipe and smoke it.)
I've found it impossible to avoid making assumptions,
So I've surrendered to that
And I now create them quite deliberately.
Assumptions, I've found, can take us to some very interesting places
And can be very creative , and even transforming.
It's important for freedom, however,
To continually examine them,
And discard them
Once we've seen all that what we wanted to see from that place.
Move on.
Can any of us live life without assumptions?
I doubt it.
But, if possible, they should never be the same assumptions
From one day to the next.
How good would it be if,
At the end of each day,
We could deliberately empty the Recycle Bin,
And wake up each new day,
Devoid of yesterday's leftovers --
Absolutely afresh?
I'm going to try that for the next 21 days.
RELATIONSHIPS
If you're expecting one relationship to fully meet all of your human needs,
You're in for disappointment.
No-one was put on this earth to do it all for you.
No-one.
(That's why we weren't just paired up on our own desert island paradise)
Make a list of people you relate with in a significant way.
What do you want from each one? (Be honest.)
If you're not getting what you want from a particular person (yes, that one!) --
You're in for disappointment.
No-one was put on this earth to do it all for you.
No-one.
(That's why we weren't just paired up on our own desert island paradise)
Make a list of people you relate with in a significant way.
What do you want from each one? (Be honest.)
If you're not getting what you want from a particular person (yes, that one!) --
- Are you trading off what you want for something else that is also of value to you?
- Are your expectations of what you want closing you off from gifts in disguise?
- How are your Receiving skills? Are they evenly balanced alongside your Giving?
- How are your Giving skills? Do people feel uncomfortable when you give them something?
- Do you feel comfortably deserving of what you want?
- Are you seeking it from the wrong person?
One purpose of relationship is to learn.
Be prepared to pay for the tuition,
Rather than pay a later penalty for naivety and ignorance.
Never invest more into a relationship
Than you're prepared to happily pay
As the price for the experience.
HOW TO DEVELOP WILL POWER
A father once quipped to his daughter who had been pestering him for something --
"On this occasion, you have persuaded me with the power of your will;
But never underestimate the power of my "won't".
Take an inventory of things you WON'T do or consider, and places you won't go......
If you're like most of us,
You'll find you speak "Won't" a lot more often and fluently than "Will".
You may be slightly flabbergasted to discover
The extent to which "Won't" is your native tongue.
Develop a new habit:
Every daydo
Do one small thing
That you don't want to do.
Be fully present, available and responsible while you're doing it,
And acknowledge your self with gratitude when it's done.
"Will"-power gives "Will"-ingness real muscle.
"On this occasion, you have persuaded me with the power of your will;
But never underestimate the power of my "won't".
Take an inventory of things you WON'T do or consider, and places you won't go......
- In your career
- In your family life
- In your social life
- In your sexual life
- In your spiritual life
- Physically
- Financially
- Mentally
If you're like most of us,
You'll find you speak "Won't" a lot more often and fluently than "Will".
You may be slightly flabbergasted to discover
The extent to which "Won't" is your native tongue.
Develop a new habit:
Every daydo
Do one small thing
That you don't want to do.
Be fully present, available and responsible while you're doing it,
And acknowledge your self with gratitude when it's done.
"Will"-power gives "Will"-ingness real muscle.
IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE SITUATION YOU'RE IN.........
- Whose plan were you in that got you here?
- What do you know about yourself that this situation proves you right?
- Whose goals are you currently working on?
- OK. You know what you don't want: what do you want?
- What, within you, is stopping you?
PREJUDICES
Some thoughts ---
- Some minds are like concrete -- all mixed up and permanently set.
- The human mind is like a parachute -- useful if it's open.
- We can send a message 38,000 kms around the earth in less than a second, but it often takes years to penetrate 5mm of skull.
FIVE STAGES OF LEARNING
- Exposure -- Open yourself to new ideas; you never know where your possibilities are hiding in disguise.
- Imitation -- Take it for a test-drive. You didn't learn to swim by thinking about it; sooner or later you had to jump into the water.
- Encouragement -- Be your own best friend. Listen and support.
- Repetition -- Old habits have an inertia that resists changes in direction. Patiently exert gentle pressure on the rudder until the new learning takes over.
- Refinement -- Dying of boredom is not possible unless you insist upon it. There is always more. When you get to the horizon, there will always be further for you to see and explore.
ATTITUDE
Attitude is a posture or position
That has been assumed
To serve a purpose.
If I may use a sailing analogy.....
Attitude is set and the the angle at which you set your sails.
When you watch a regatta,
You'll see boats going in all directions.
But the wind is blowing from only one quarter......
Each skipper is drawing on his experience
To make the most out of the conditions,
By plotting a course and trimming the sails.
Is your present attitude blowing you off your course,
Or is it getting you where you want to go?
That has been assumed
To serve a purpose.
If I may use a sailing analogy.....
Attitude is set and the the angle at which you set your sails.
When you watch a regatta,
You'll see boats going in all directions.
But the wind is blowing from only one quarter......
Each skipper is drawing on his experience
To make the most out of the conditions,
By plotting a course and trimming the sails.
Is your present attitude blowing you off your course,
Or is it getting you where you want to go?
LIFE ECHOES
What you send out, comes back.
What you sow, you reap.
What you give, you get.
What you see in others exists in you.
What you are doing to others, is being done to you
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
IF YOU KNEW YOU COULDN'T FAIL........
What great thing would you attempt today
If you positively KNEW you couldn't possibly fail?
Well, any experiment whose purpose is to "to see how it turns out"
Cannot fail.
It will always turn out.
The ball is in your court.
WHY WE JOIN CULTS....
Well, the obvious answer is "for the experience of it".
Nothing wrong with that.
But I have to ask --
What poverty lies behind the hunger that "joining" something gratifies?
That is not being experienced as being sufficiently met.
There is a sensed emotional. intellectual, or spiritual vacuum
That mind demands it be allowed to fill.
From the point of view of anyone "outside",
Insiders seem to be under the spell of some level of insanity:
To an "insider", his/her actions and environment represent the ultimate "sanity"
And it is those outside who are "evil" and in need of a reality check.
Well, that's how the human mind works, isn't it? --
"They're wrong, so I must be right, "
No matter which side of the fence we stand.
Sooner or later, however,
No matter how certain we become,
There are just some days when we wake up disquieted.
Perhaps we've had an odd dream, or maybe we just can't settle down to a deep sleep.
"What's wrong?" is our first reaction (a curious assumption in itself, don't you think?);
Later we get to wondering "What is this all about?
We're simply being reminded of a deeper quest churning away in the background of our awareness --
A search for meaning in life,
And for some kind of transcendence.
These reminder calls seem to happen more frequently and powerfully
In times of upheaval, unrest, crisis or during periods of physical or mental illness (dis-ease).
When such times of upheaval become epidemic,
Religions and -isms get a sudden boost of interest,
Especially those more pentecostally flavoured groups
That tap into what sociologist Richard Ofshe called
"The market for psychological perfection."
Ofshe goes on to point out that
"Anyone can start a religion;
All it takes is charisma and a modicum of sense."
Stallholders at the spiritual hype-market
Appeal to people's frightened hunger for Acceptance and Meaning.
Anyone who claims to have "The Answer" and promises a regular smile and hug from enough acolytes
Is bound to get a good following.
There's a lot of justified frustration out there with the more traditional religions,
But what the new breed of spiritual Macca's are offering
Is high on sugar and spice,
And almost totally devoid of nourishment.
We're encountering a religious right of spiritual bullemics.
Lost people like to feel they've come home.
If you can lay on a reasonably regular spiritual "high"
That most people do not feel in ordinary daily life,
You've go it made. You'll get the vulnerable hooked on the intensity of a dodgy experience and, hey presto!
They'll follow you to hell.
Every charismatic religious leader
Offers some kind of conduit to the cosmos,
Feeding off a pandemic of reluctance
To follow Jeshua ben Joseph's frustrated admonition
"For Christ's sake, heal yourselves!"
Here's a bottom line for you --
It takes balls to strike out on your own --
Ask every pilgrim who ever went off in search for himself.
There will always be someone to offer a short cut to heaven,
And more than enough suckers to sign over their freedom
In the name of "salvation".
Salvation from what?
Pray tell.
The lack of something we're too lazy to provide for our self?
Nothing wrong with that.
But I have to ask --
What poverty lies behind the hunger that "joining" something gratifies?
Support?
Interaction skills?
Inner growth?
Belonging?
Sensation?
Intimate connection?
Acceptance?
Risk and challenge?
Meaning?
Autonomy?
Each one is a legitimate human need,That is not being experienced as being sufficiently met.
There is a sensed emotional. intellectual, or spiritual vacuum
That mind demands it be allowed to fill.
From the point of view of anyone "outside",
Insiders seem to be under the spell of some level of insanity:
To an "insider", his/her actions and environment represent the ultimate "sanity"
And it is those outside who are "evil" and in need of a reality check.
Well, that's how the human mind works, isn't it? --
"They're wrong, so I must be right, "
No matter which side of the fence we stand.
Sooner or later, however,
No matter how certain we become,
There are just some days when we wake up disquieted.
Perhaps we've had an odd dream, or maybe we just can't settle down to a deep sleep.
"What's wrong?" is our first reaction (a curious assumption in itself, don't you think?);
Later we get to wondering "What is this all about?
We're simply being reminded of a deeper quest churning away in the background of our awareness --
A search for meaning in life,
And for some kind of transcendence.
These reminder calls seem to happen more frequently and powerfully
In times of upheaval, unrest, crisis or during periods of physical or mental illness (dis-ease).
When such times of upheaval become epidemic,
Religions and -isms get a sudden boost of interest,
Especially those more pentecostally flavoured groups
That tap into what sociologist Richard Ofshe called
"The market for psychological perfection."
Ofshe goes on to point out that
"Anyone can start a religion;
All it takes is charisma and a modicum of sense."
Stallholders at the spiritual hype-market
Appeal to people's frightened hunger for Acceptance and Meaning.
Anyone who claims to have "The Answer" and promises a regular smile and hug from enough acolytes
Is bound to get a good following.
There's a lot of justified frustration out there with the more traditional religions,
But what the new breed of spiritual Macca's are offering
Is high on sugar and spice,
And almost totally devoid of nourishment.
We're encountering a religious right of spiritual bullemics.
Lost people like to feel they've come home.
If you can lay on a reasonably regular spiritual "high"
That most people do not feel in ordinary daily life,
You've go it made. You'll get the vulnerable hooked on the intensity of a dodgy experience and, hey presto!
They'll follow you to hell.
Every charismatic religious leader
Offers some kind of conduit to the cosmos,
Feeding off a pandemic of reluctance
To follow Jeshua ben Joseph's frustrated admonition
"For Christ's sake, heal yourselves!"
Here's a bottom line for you --
In any situation we flee to out of Neediness
We lose
Our freedom and integrity.
Neediness does not breed Fulfilment.
It takes balls to strike out on your own --
Ask every pilgrim who ever went off in search for himself.
There will always be someone to offer a short cut to heaven,
And more than enough suckers to sign over their freedom
In the name of "salvation".
Salvation from what?
Pray tell.
The lack of something we're too lazy to provide for our self?
IT SEEMS A BIT OF A WASTE.......
It seems to me to be a bit of a waste
To say "Yes" to emodiment on this plane-t,
Only to spend the whole of our life after that
Saying "No".
So we got one helluva fright?
Get over it.
Sooner or later Death comes a-calling
And won't take "No" for an answer.
We began with a "Yes", and we go out with a "Yes";
Maybe a few more "Yeses" in between
Would make the journey more fun?
What do you reckon?
To say "Yes" to emodiment on this plane-t,
Only to spend the whole of our life after that
Saying "No".
So we got one helluva fright?
Get over it.
Sooner or later Death comes a-calling
And won't take "No" for an answer.
We began with a "Yes", and we go out with a "Yes";
Maybe a few more "Yeses" in between
Would make the journey more fun?
What do you reckon?
SOLVING PROBLEMS
The happiest and the unhappiest people I know
All have problems.
The happiest ones seem to know how to engage with their challenges;
The unhappy ones don't.
It could be said that one measure of our happiness
Lies in the ratio between how much we see ourselves as having problems
And how much we feel our problems have us.
Unhappy people don't have problems as much as
Their problems have them.
One of the main reasons for this impotence is
That we don't know what "the problem" really is;
We're victimised by what we don't know.
Most problems, be they social. marital, financial or otherwise,
Are the visible symptoms of deeper difficulties.
Tips that Work for Me
All have problems.
The happiest ones seem to know how to engage with their challenges;
The unhappy ones don't.
It could be said that one measure of our happiness
Lies in the ratio between how much we see ourselves as having problems
And how much we feel our problems have us.
Unhappy people don't have problems as much as
Their problems have them.
One of the main reasons for this impotence is
That we don't know what "the problem" really is;
We're victimised by what we don't know.
Most problems, be they social. marital, financial or otherwise,
Are the visible symptoms of deeper difficulties.
Tips that Work for Me
- Define your problem clearly on paper.
- List the obstacles standing in the way.
- Take time to explore what the deeper underlying difficulties might be at other levels of your being. Unless you tackle the real causes, you will be living your version of "Groundhog Day".
- Deliberately open your mind to let inspiration from other sources reach you. This is a bit like searching the internet for inspiration, rather than relying merely on files already stored on your computer for a solution. Your mind is a limited resource.
- List any people and idea sources that might help you solve your problem. Remain open to alternative, non-traditional ways of engaging with it. Are there other logically unconnected disciplines or technologies that may have a good idea or two that may work in this context?
- List as many possible courses of action that occur to you, no matter how implausible some of them may seem. Censor nothing at this point, and take your time for less logical ideas to pop.
- Visualise possible results -- including best- and worse-case scenarios -- for each course of action. Allow more possible courses to suggest themselves.
- Choose a course of action that appeals to you, and then pursue it. Adapt and incorporate anything that enhances your project from other alternatives you've considered. Have your plan, and be prepared to adapt. Stay with your action plan long enough for it to work, or for it to prove that it's not going to do the trick. If it finally doesn't work, do this exercise again in the light of what you've learned so far, and choose another.
BY THEIR CONVERSATIONS SHALL YE KNOW THEM.......
Small minds complain -- about their lot and their problems (sometimes disguised as talking about "others").
Average minds gossip -- about events and other people, as it they know what they're talking about.
Great minds share -- possibilities.
Average minds gossip -- about events and other people, as it they know what they're talking about.
Great minds share -- possibilities.
A MESSAGE TO MY GRANDCHILDREN
Following a spectacular concert given by a renowned classical pianist,
The green room backstage was awash with the usual blue-rinse set
Eager to touch the hem of the accomplished and famous.
One dowager began to gush over the pianist --
"Oh, I would so LOVE to be able to play like you!! I would do anything!!"
The pianist looked at her kindly for a moment, as if making up her mind.
Then she quietly said into her ear,
"No, my dear, you wouldn't. You'd have to say 'No' to many of the things you now enjoy. You'd have to practice for 8 hours every day, live most of your life out of suitcases in hotel rooms, venture into strange places when you least feel like it........."
Her voice tailed off.
The society lady got the message.
If you want your life to be a symphony,
You have to do the scales.
Raw talent may get you through the door,
But it's your responsibility to develop your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual capacity
To shape it into something that will effectively express what you want to put out there.
No scales -- no concerts.
A CHILD LEARNS -- Anonymous
If a child lives with criticism,
he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,
he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule,
he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame,
he learns to feel guilt.
If a child lives with tolerance,
he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement,
he learns confidence.
If a child lives with fairness,
he learns justice.
If a child lives with security,
he learns to trust.
If a child lives with approval,
he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
he learns to see the love in the world.
he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,
he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule,
he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame,
he learns to feel guilt.
If a child lives with tolerance,
he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement,
he learns confidence.
If a child lives with fairness,
he learns justice.
If a child lives with security,
he learns to trust.
If a child lives with approval,
he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
he learns to see the love in the world.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
FAILURE
Failure, as an experience, can be transformative.
But I get really impatient with people
Who insist upon it and recommend it
As the only way to live.
I've done that.
It sucked.
But I get really impatient with people
Who insist upon it and recommend it
As the only way to live.
I've done that.
It sucked.
TALKING FOR TOMORROW
I bend an ear to the words I say
And keep them tender and sweet,
Because I never know today
Which ones I may have to eat.
And keep them tender and sweet,
Because I never know today
Which ones I may have to eat.
LISTEN
A good listener is welcome at any party,
And after a while, he knows a lot more
Than those who monopolised the conversation.
And after a while, he knows a lot more
Than those who monopolised the conversation.
HOW TO PICK AN EVOLVING HUMAN BEING (from a Lost Cause)
- A Lost Cause says "Nobody knows". An Evolver says "Let's find out."
- When an Evolver makes a mistake, he says "I got it wrong; got it!". A Lost Cause says "It wasn't my fault."
- An Evolver says "Thank you" whatever happens; he knows how luck works. A Lost Cause blames his bad luck, whatever happens. He thinks Gratitude is something you only dish out when you get what you want, the way you want it.
- An Evolver learns when and how to say "Yes " and "No". and is pretty clear about why. A Lost Cause hedges a lot around "Yes, but....." and "Maybe not..." at the wrong times and for the wrong reasons.
- An Evolver states "This is my intention....."; a Lost Cause promises "I'll try.........."
- A Lost Cause complains "I have to....."; and Evolver declares "I choose to...."
- An Evolver isn't nearly as afraid of losing as a Lost Cause is secretly afraid of succeeding.
- A Lost Cause is always too busy and never has enough time; an Evolver knows how to make time.
- An Evolver works through situations and conditions; a Lost Cause tries to get around them, and never gets past them.
- An Evolver makes commitments; a Lost Cause makes wishes and promises.
- Evolvers get up a head of steam and apply it steadily to the drive wheels to maximise traction. Lost Causes blow it all out of the whistle.
- An Evolver cleans up his messes; a Lost Cause shrugs and does it again.
- An Evolver is focussed on values, and knows where to take a stand, and where and when to negotiate; a Lost Cause is focussed on self-important issues, compromises the important stuff and fights over trivialities.
- An Evolving person acknowledges that he's doing well, and that he can learn and improve. A Lost Cause says "I'm not as bad as other people."
- An Evolving person builds a life; a Lost Cause repeats his childhood over and over until he dies.
- An Evolver listens attentively; he knows the creator gave him two ears and one mouth for a good reason. A Lost Cause waits until it's his turn to talk.
- A Lost Cause will do just about anything to be liked, ignoring the fact that it's costing him Contempt. An Evolving person engenders respect, and doesn't take too personally what other people think of him, except as feedback on how effectively he's representing what's important to him.
- An Evolving person feels strong enough to be gentle and firm; a Lost Cause fears gentleness will be taken as weakness.
- An Evolver respects authority; a Lost Cause jealously resents it.
- An Evolver learns how to give direction by learning first to take it with grace and gratitude; a Lost Cause can't wait to start giving orders.
- An Evolver explains; a Lost Cause explains away.
- An Evolving being feels responsible for more than just his job; a Lost Cause says "I only work here."
- An Evolver feeds the Goose that lays the golden eggs; a Lost Cause can't wait to steal the eggs.
- A Lost Cause contents himself with "This is the way its has always been done"; an Evolver says "There has to be another way..."
- Evolutionary leaders spend their lives serving: others may erect monuments to them, but only after they've gone; Lost Causes start posing for their monuments before they've done anything very much. In fact, some Lost Causes do nothing but pose, night in -- night out.
- Lost Causes keep walking Westward, looking for a sunrise.
- An Evolver knows from his observations that a Victim's life doesn't work: Lost Causes race each other to see who can get to the bottom first.
- Evolvers look for ways to make a difference; Lost Causes look for ways to become "special needs".
JUST FOR TODAY.....
JUST FOR TODAY.......
Dr. William S. Hendrie
Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life's problems at once.
Just for today I will be happy. Abe Lincoln said it -- "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."
Just for today I will strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
Just for today I will adjust myself to whatever is, and seek to change those things that must, and can be changed.
Just for today I will exercise my soul three ways:-
- I will do someone a good turn, and not get found out.
- I will not show anyone how much my feelings hurt. They may be hurt, but I will be responsible for that.
- Just for today I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, think high, act courteously, criticising not one bit. I will not find fault with anything, and not try to improve or regualte anybody other than myself.
Just for today I will have a Plan. I may not follow it exactly, but I will save myself from two pests: Hurry and Indecision.
Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.
Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful; and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.
TRUTH
No valid values are impaired or destroyed
By learning a truth about them.
Falsities, beliefs and prejudices
Are allergic to the Truths of unbiased experience
And will die if sufficiently exposed to them.
Every time we surrender to a truth,
We are a little more free --
Less vicitmised and victmise-able
By superstition, righteousness, prejudice, ignorance, dogmatism and crippling vulnerability.
We get a little more clear air
And find ourself better able to discover and creatively engage
With new facts, new ways of seeing, new experiences and challenges.
We can claim to be a little better "educated".
We are more than ever ready
To hone and polish our being with the being-ness of others in a poised way.
By learning a truth about them.
Falsities, beliefs and prejudices
Are allergic to the Truths of unbiased experience
And will die if sufficiently exposed to them.
Every time we surrender to a truth,
We are a little more free --
Less vicitmised and victmise-able
By superstition, righteousness, prejudice, ignorance, dogmatism and crippling vulnerability.
We get a little more clear air
And find ourself better able to discover and creatively engage
With new facts, new ways of seeing, new experiences and challenges.
We can claim to be a little better "educated".
We are more than ever ready
To hone and polish our being with the being-ness of others in a poised way.
Monday, August 16, 2010
SELF-IMAGE
Whether we like the results or not,
We are what we think we are.
We live up to our own deep,unconscious self-appraisal;
And from that same self-image
We teach others how to treat us.
Truth be known, we would all like that to be different,
But it remains so
Because we have no idea of what we're doing
To our self.
Wishing for things to be different leaves us ---
Wishing.
Self-Image isn't real; at best it is a partial reality. It is a perception, and like all human perceptions is doomed to be partial, incomplete and often misguided.
Self Image is one of the most basic programmes driving our auto-pilot. The inner images we hold of ourselves trigger very specific attitudes, which in turn have a profound influence on our contentment and effectiveness in life.
Self-image is merely an amoral seeding mechanism; it has no critical, judgmental or introspective function. It cannot differentiate between what might be harmful or beneficial to its host. Nor can it discriminate between actual experience and an experience vividly imagined in some factual or emotional detail. It has no vision outside of itself.
Self-Image dwells and operates from the sub-conscious level of our thinking;
Which is a fancy way of saying
Self-Image isn't something we think -- It thinks us.
For the most part,
We didn't even think it into existence in the first place,
It went in viscerally and emotionally.
That means two things --
Images stored within our brain, I am told by those who should know, cannot be willfully erased by us. Barring brain damage, we are stuck with them for life. That's good news because, God knows, I tried for quite a while back there to zap my negative self-image into oblivion, and failed very miserably. It was comforting to learn, at last, that -- despite what I'd been told by the Positive-Thinking-SWAT'ers -- it isn't necessary.
Even better news is that negative or inappropriate self-images can be balanced out with equally valid counterparts, and integrated into a dynamic whole.
Evolution and transformation are not about getting better; they are about getting whole.
Permanent transformation of our personalities and behaviours relies on:-
We are what we think we are.
We live up to our own deep,unconscious self-appraisal;
And from that same self-image
We teach others how to treat us.
Truth be known, we would all like that to be different,
But it remains so
Because we have no idea of what we're doing
To our self.
Wishing for things to be different leaves us ---
Wishing.
Self-Image isn't real; at best it is a partial reality. It is a perception, and like all human perceptions is doomed to be partial, incomplete and often misguided.
Self Image is one of the most basic programmes driving our auto-pilot. The inner images we hold of ourselves trigger very specific attitudes, which in turn have a profound influence on our contentment and effectiveness in life.
Self-image is merely an amoral seeding mechanism; it has no critical, judgmental or introspective function. It cannot differentiate between what might be harmful or beneficial to its host. Nor can it discriminate between actual experience and an experience vividly imagined in some factual or emotional detail. It has no vision outside of itself.
Self-Image dwells and operates from the sub-conscious level of our thinking;
Which is a fancy way of saying
Self-Image isn't something we think -- It thinks us.
For the most part,
We didn't even think it into existence in the first place,
It went in viscerally and emotionally.
That means two things --
- While we may be able to explain away bits of it, self image is rarely based on fact and does not, of itself, make rational sense; and
- If we want to change it, our rational mind is not up to the task -- we cannot reason ourselves out of anything that was not reasoned into in the first place.
Images stored within our brain, I am told by those who should know, cannot be willfully erased by us. Barring brain damage, we are stuck with them for life. That's good news because, God knows, I tried for quite a while back there to zap my negative self-image into oblivion, and failed very miserably. It was comforting to learn, at last, that -- despite what I'd been told by the Positive-Thinking-SWAT'ers -- it isn't necessary.
Even better news is that negative or inappropriate self-images can be balanced out with equally valid counterparts, and integrated into a dynamic whole.
Evolution and transformation are not about getting better; they are about getting whole.
Permanent transformation of our personalities and behaviours relies on:-
- A change in our perceptions (including our self-image and expectations)
- A willingness to view the world and our place in it from as many different points of view as we can manage every waking hour
- A willingness to try different strategies and behaviours, just for the heck of it.
Watch your self-talk feedback both before a challenging event and after it. How you respond to your performances is just as important (and revealing) as how you prepare for them. When someone asks you how you are, are you one of the 80 percenters who answer "Not bad". Why are we so disappointed when our catastrophising expectations are not met? Are you a "looker-backer"? Do you walk to the shops, look around and say to yourself "Well, contrary to my expectations, I didn't fall that time!"
A child watches adults walking and, encouraged by them, experiments, again and again. He just assumes that successful walking is part of the deal, and he can't wait to get with the programme. The child does not associate falling with failure; only as a temporary inconvenience, and a chance to adjust. He's not too fussed about HOW he walks, or how he looks while he's doing it, he just wants to get from point "a" to point "b" a little more efficiently than by sliding around on his bum. He gets up and tries again and again. Even once the skill of balance and locomotion is achieved, he does not stop there. Most children continue to practice and experiment, honing their skills and strengths. May be that's why there are so many accomplished toddlers in the world! Some of them take it even further and refine their skills into running, football, tennis and even ballet dancing -- things they never imagined possible when they first started trying to stand up.
Once we start on something, there's no telling where it might lead.
But we do have to start.
And that's where Self-Image comes in.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
GOALS & PURPOSES
Goals are specific targets of achievement or attainment.
Purposes are the guiding sense of direction
That gives form and alignment
To the kinds of goals that will be pursued.
We humans have a primitive area of the brain - the amygdala --
In which all goals are directed toward pure physical survival.
We also have more recently developed areas of our brain
In which goals can be aligned to other levels of living awareness,
Such as security, social support, status and self-realisation.
It is important to note, however,
That the human mind develops ideas, concepts, opinions, perceptions and beliefs
Within every layer of conscious awareness.
Any threat to any of its constructs, in any level of awareness
Will be interpreted automatically by the mind
As a threat to its survival.
The threat may be real (rarely) or imagined (usually),
But mind cannot tell the difference;
If the threat is serious enough
We go straight to the bottom rung and start acting like a baboon in a logging camp.
That is our natural inclination,
But it doesn't have to be prescriptive;
We can intervene.
This is possible because, firstly, we are more than our ego mind,
And, secondly, we also have a built-in, adventurous Growth Instinct
That can be nurtured
To a point where it is able to exert a contrary influence
Over the tick-tock ego.
Every human being, still breathing, is more than a creature;
He/she is a CREATOR --
In fact the sole creator of his own experience.
You and I are the sole creators of our Purposes
And the Goals we select to give expression to those Purposes,
Triggered and motivated by our Imaginations.
Our ability to Imagine is one of the most powerful tools we possess;
We're all using it -- all of the time,
Whether we realise it or not.
We create by imagining,
And feeling what we want into existence.
Whatever we're experiencing right now
Was first imagined.
Napoleon cried triumphantly -- "Imagination rules the world!"
Einstein trumped that with -- "Imagination IS the world."
Think about that,
And your place in it.
The way you picture your world,
The way you perceive your purpose in it,
The things that you do to express your purposes,
And the mood and manner in which you do them --
Create the world in which you live.
You and I do not live in the same world --
There are slight differences in point-of-view,
Rather like the way our left eyes and our right eyes see things a little differently.
When we put them together, however,
We get a startling sense of depth, of "more".
Imagine, if you can, what god sees --
From billions of "I"'s, all seeing from a slightly different point of view!
Purposes are the guiding sense of direction
That gives form and alignment
To the kinds of goals that will be pursued.
We humans have a primitive area of the brain - the amygdala --
In which all goals are directed toward pure physical survival.
We also have more recently developed areas of our brain
In which goals can be aligned to other levels of living awareness,
Such as security, social support, status and self-realisation.
It is important to note, however,
That the human mind develops ideas, concepts, opinions, perceptions and beliefs
Within every layer of conscious awareness.
Any threat to any of its constructs, in any level of awareness
Will be interpreted automatically by the mind
As a threat to its survival.
The threat may be real (rarely) or imagined (usually),
But mind cannot tell the difference;
If the threat is serious enough
We go straight to the bottom rung and start acting like a baboon in a logging camp.
That is our natural inclination,
But it doesn't have to be prescriptive;
We can intervene.
This is possible because, firstly, we are more than our ego mind,
And, secondly, we also have a built-in, adventurous Growth Instinct
That can be nurtured
To a point where it is able to exert a contrary influence
Over the tick-tock ego.
Every human being, still breathing, is more than a creature;
He/she is a CREATOR --
In fact the sole creator of his own experience.
You and I are the sole creators of our Purposes
And the Goals we select to give expression to those Purposes,
Triggered and motivated by our Imaginations.
Our ability to Imagine is one of the most powerful tools we possess;
We're all using it -- all of the time,
Whether we realise it or not.
We create by imagining,
And feeling what we want into existence.
Whatever we're experiencing right now
Was first imagined.
Napoleon cried triumphantly -- "Imagination rules the world!"
Einstein trumped that with -- "Imagination IS the world."
Think about that,
And your place in it.
The way you picture your world,
The way you perceive your purpose in it,
The things that you do to express your purposes,
And the mood and manner in which you do them --
Create the world in which you live.
You and I do not live in the same world --
There are slight differences in point-of-view,
Rather like the way our left eyes and our right eyes see things a little differently.
When we put them together, however,
We get a startling sense of depth, of "more".
Imagine, if you can, what god sees --
From billions of "I"'s, all seeing from a slightly different point of view!
IDENTITY CRISIS?
As far as I know....
The urge to BE somebody is pretty much universal,
At least around mating season.
The desire for Self-hood is not bad in itself,
But it starts to clag up
When we identify with our identity,
i.e. we begin to think that our identity is who we truly are.
That's as silly as thinking we ARE our business card, or our resumë, or the car we drive, or the school we went to, or the job we have, or the suburb we live in, or the school we send our children to, or the partner we have............
Or anything else we hold up as proof to our inner critic that we're worth the space we occupy.
Just as tragically silly as identifying with who we think we are,
Is seeking an identity in conformity to external standards,
In the approbation of someone else,
Or in the number, variety, and novelty of aforementioned material things we can accumulate.
Identity consists of two elements:-
Self Esteem ( a general, deep-down, inside-the-skin feeling of worthiness, or otherwise); and
Self Image ( a very specific, internally created picture of every talent, drawback, characteristic and performance we have, along with associated comments and feelings about each one).
Our Identity was almost totally instigated by those we opened up to in our early childhood,
And by our seriously incomplete image of those we've been impressed with ever since starting kindergarten.
In other words, our Identity was a ramshackle slum of adopted impressions,
Slapped together in a hasty endeavour to get liked.
And 80% of the people you meet are still stick in that infantile slum;
They have done bugger-all since
To create something for themselves --
Something that works better for them.
Some form of Identity is essential.
A particular Identity is useful as long as it draws us continually toward evolving;
It ceases to be useful when it is hopelessly anachronistic,
Or becomes deludedly unrealistic,
Or starts to cramp our current possibilities.
Being human is a condition of Limitedness. That doesn't stop until we die.
So if we want to keep growing,
We do have to deliberately keep stretching limits.
But life allows us the other alternative --
A repetitive treadmill of same-old-same-as,
Upright and dead, all the way to the grave.
If that's your choice,
You won't be alone.....
If it seems a little unfair that we have to persist with growing,
Console yourself with the realisation
That your life and mine are never short on opportunities for us to extend our tolerances.
Happiness and self worth arise naturally from setting internal standards for ourself,
Requiring ourself to live according to our internal guidance system (we each have one, you know),
Sharing around our values and what we do to real-ise them,
And stretching ourselves ever further into infinite possibility.
The urge to BE somebody is pretty much universal,
At least around mating season.
The desire for Self-hood is not bad in itself,
But it starts to clag up
When we identify with our identity,
i.e. we begin to think that our identity is who we truly are.
That's as silly as thinking we ARE our business card, or our resumë, or the car we drive, or the school we went to, or the job we have, or the suburb we live in, or the school we send our children to, or the partner we have............
Or anything else we hold up as proof to our inner critic that we're worth the space we occupy.
Just as tragically silly as identifying with who we think we are,
Is seeking an identity in conformity to external standards,
In the approbation of someone else,
Or in the number, variety, and novelty of aforementioned material things we can accumulate.
Identity consists of two elements:-
Self Esteem ( a general, deep-down, inside-the-skin feeling of worthiness, or otherwise); and
Self Image ( a very specific, internally created picture of every talent, drawback, characteristic and performance we have, along with associated comments and feelings about each one).
Our Identity was almost totally instigated by those we opened up to in our early childhood,
And by our seriously incomplete image of those we've been impressed with ever since starting kindergarten.
In other words, our Identity was a ramshackle slum of adopted impressions,
Slapped together in a hasty endeavour to get liked.
And 80% of the people you meet are still stick in that infantile slum;
They have done bugger-all since
To create something for themselves --
Something that works better for them.
Some form of Identity is essential.
A particular Identity is useful as long as it draws us continually toward evolving;
It ceases to be useful when it is hopelessly anachronistic,
Or becomes deludedly unrealistic,
Or starts to cramp our current possibilities.
Being human is a condition of Limitedness. That doesn't stop until we die.
So if we want to keep growing,
We do have to deliberately keep stretching limits.
But life allows us the other alternative --
A repetitive treadmill of same-old-same-as,
Upright and dead, all the way to the grave.
If that's your choice,
You won't be alone.....
If it seems a little unfair that we have to persist with growing,
Console yourself with the realisation
That your life and mine are never short on opportunities for us to extend our tolerances.
Happiness and self worth arise naturally from setting internal standards for ourself,
Requiring ourself to live according to our internal guidance system (we each have one, you know),
Sharing around our values and what we do to real-ise them,
And stretching ourselves ever further into infinite possibility.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
MAJORING IN MINORS
Most of our daily activities
Are motivated by a desire for peace of mind,
And devoted to relieving some tension
Between What-Ought-to-Be and What-Is.
Every time we think or say "I have to....."
We corrode our self-esteem
And give ourselves away.
I watch how less aggressive it feels to say to another
"I have to......."
Instead of "I choose to....."
It sometimes takes an act of conscious courage to declare my choices
This begs a question ---
How little of what we do each day is consciously and directly rooted
In expressing
What we've created ourself to Be?
Why aren't we more creative?
Are motivated by a desire for peace of mind,
And devoted to relieving some tension
Between What-Ought-to-Be and What-Is.
Every time we think or say "I have to....."
We corrode our self-esteem
And give ourselves away.
I watch how less aggressive it feels to say to another
"I have to......."
Instead of "I choose to....."
It sometimes takes an act of conscious courage to declare my choices
This begs a question ---
How little of what we do each day is consciously and directly rooted
In expressing
What we've created ourself to Be?
Why aren't we more creative?
- Lost or misplaced purpose
- Fear of failure
- Fear of success
Here's a meditation you might like to try..............
A MOMENT OF TRUTH
Make this moment here and now
A moment of truth about yourself.
Open up now to ways in which you may have been selling yourself short.
Accept the fact that you have the opportunity here and now
To open up to more
Of the environmental, physical, mental, spiritual and emotional abundance
That exists all around you --
More than you could use up in a thousand lifetimes.
Contemplate ways in which you might be effectively fending off
All that life is ready to give you.
Abundance is not personally selective --
It doesn't deny you and bestow itself upon others.
If you're not getting what you want, and others are...
Consider what your contribution to that condition might be.
Open up to possibilities.
Don't demand -- that won't work;
Spoiled brats never get to satisfaction..
Loosen up on your idea of what you want ought to look like.
Depending on how long you've been so sure that Loss and Lack are the name of the game,
It may take some time to bring yourself around.
Be patient.
TRYING TO FIND YOURSELF?
How do you find what you already are? Try looking in a mirror.
If you're having a little trouble finding yourself;
I have three questions you might like to stand in:-
If you're having a little trouble finding yourself;
I have three questions you might like to stand in:-
- What are you looking for?
- Where are you looking for it?
- When are you while you're looking for it?
- While you're trying to find yourself, what are you looking for? Your self is what you've already created. How can the creator not know its creation? Can you really not see yourself, or is it that you don't like what you have seen so far? Are you playing the "This ain't it" game? If you have any preconceived ideas about what you should look like, you may have trouble recognising yourself when you do find it? Do you still really think your self is going to look like you think it should?
- Where are you looking? I know a whole bunch of people who travel the world looking for something meaningful: I wish them luck, I truly do. But, barring accidents, I don't like their chances. If you want to find something, it's a good plan to look for it where it is. You're not going to find "You" anywhere outside of yourself. The same goes for Meaning. Meaning begins and ends with you -- in your world. If you're waiting on getting the "meaning of life" first, so that you can then find out who you are, you're putting the cart before the horse. Who is doing that looking? Look at the seeker. As you find out who you are, the meaning of living becomes abundantly clear.
- When are you looking? If you're looking for You anytime other than your here/now present experience, call off the search; you're wasting your time. The same goes for Meaning; trawling through the past may provide you with some explanations, but never Meaning.
We spend our time in the pursuit of Diversion
Instead of a pursuit in a Direction.
If you want to find yourself, you could wait until tomorrow. Then you'll at least find yourself a day older.
We're desperately searching for ourselves
Because we are bored with abundance.
No matter how empty we feel,
Every waking moment is full -- of something......
Plasma TV's, politics, causes to care about, family, work, social networking, drugs, religions, --ologies, travel to other cultures, volunteering for good causes, meditations, pilates, diets, dating lines, clubbing.........
We're full to the back teeth with emptiness,
So we try to cram it with more,
Including self-awareness fads and exercises
To make us feel as it we're accomplishing something.
The thing is,
No matter how much and for how long we gorge ourselves silly on sideshows,
They wear off overnight,
And in the morning, we're back to being ourselves --
Still looking for ourself????
The big mistake we all make at one time or another
Is that we ignore or reject outright
Anything we see that is judged to be "Not-Me".
Big mistake.
Sit with this for a while..................
The big mistake we all make at one time or another
Is that we ignore or reject outright
Anything we see that is judged to be "Not-Me".
Big mistake.
Sit with this for a while..................
There is nothing that you are not.
If you can imagine it, that too is what you are.
If you can imagine it, that too is what you are.
If there were to be anything that you are NOT,
Then you would not be.
Can you not see the absurdity of looking for our selves
When we are surrounded by mirrors?
Look at that person opposite you;
What we see is a part of what we are...
Start with that.
Any selective closing-down, contracting or rejecting of unappealing reflected glimpses of self
Blinkers down the whole seeing.
The iceberg sinks the whole ship,
Not just steerage class.
Everyone dances to a different drummer,
Sees through a different lens,
Perceives through a different filter,
And selects as a result of different programmes in his bio-computer.
Our constant, relentless pursuit of "happiness",
Our search for "something else",
Is triggered by a feeling of helplessness,
Brought on by a lifetime of rejecting reflections
That could have led us to further self-discovery.
It's not too late.
While we can still draw conscious breath,
Life will continue to challenge us
To accept the limited vision we already have of self,
And to stretch the field of our imagining
Of what is currently visible, desirable and possible.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
SELF-HONESTY -- THE GROCERY BAG TEST
How's your body these days?
Mine's getting better, thinner and more sensitive
Thanks to an improved regimen of care.
I can actually (almost) pass the Grocery Bag Test....
How about yours?
Is it fat and sluggish?
Gaunt and nervous?
Do you puff going up or down a flight of stairs?
What kind of fuel do you put into your once-and-only life transportation?
Do you clog it with pollutants,
Or hit-and-run, low-grade junk food that your organs have to work overtime to deal with?
Is your brain and liver pickled in alcohol?
Are your lungs slimed with nicotine?
Are your blood vessels clean and clear of cholesterol?
Are your synapses clagged up with drugs?
Do you view your body as an old heap
To get you from birth to death
With the least possible number of tune-ups and overhauls?
Are you dissatisfied and obsessive about it, to the detriment of other areas of your life?
Or do you look after it with loving consideration,
And gratitude for the opportunities for experience it delivers you?
Do you think "If my battery goes flat, I'll get a jump-start?"
Or "If my carby clogs, I'll get a by-pass"?
Get this.....
Mine's getting better, thinner and more sensitive
Thanks to an improved regimen of care.
I can actually (almost) pass the Grocery Bag Test....
How about yours?
Is it fat and sluggish?
Gaunt and nervous?
Do you puff going up or down a flight of stairs?
What kind of fuel do you put into your once-and-only life transportation?
Do you clog it with pollutants,
Or hit-and-run, low-grade junk food that your organs have to work overtime to deal with?
Is your brain and liver pickled in alcohol?
Are your lungs slimed with nicotine?
Are your blood vessels clean and clear of cholesterol?
Are your synapses clagged up with drugs?
Do you view your body as an old heap
To get you from birth to death
With the least possible number of tune-ups and overhauls?
Are you dissatisfied and obsessive about it, to the detriment of other areas of your life?
Or do you look after it with loving consideration,
And gratitude for the opportunities for experience it delivers you?
Do you think "If my battery goes flat, I'll get a jump-start?"
Or "If my carby clogs, I'll get a by-pass"?
Get this.....
- You can't trade your body in on a new model. Once this one's clapped out, you're out.
- It's a bloody sight easier to DO good if we FEEL good.
THE 10-MINUTE GROCERY BAG TEST
Preparation time:- (2 minutes)
Test time:- (3 minutes)
Sink-in time:- (5 minutes)
Grab a large grocery bag (preferably paper -- plastic is not a good alternative, unless you're kinky)
Cut out a pair of eye holes.
Get undressed. Completely.
Pull the bag over your head and stand in front of a full-length mirror.
Now look.
What do you see?
(The aim, remember, is Self Honesty. The bag is there to help you be more objective.)
Stay with it for at least 3 minutes.
Remove the bag, and allow whatever occurs to you.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
ME
Through "Me"
The world recognises itself
As heaven.
Or hell....
Either way,
It doesn't mind.
(Only "I" does that).
The world recognises itself
As heaven.
Or hell....
Either way,
It doesn't mind.
(Only "I" does that).
EGO
I am, on occasion, the most
Responsible, allowing, caring, courageous, playful, adventurous, open, innocent, intelligent, gentle, curious
Person I know.
I'm also deluded,
So I could be wrong about that, too,
Except sometimes........
Responsible, allowing, caring, courageous, playful, adventurous, open, innocent, intelligent, gentle, curious
Person I know.
I'm also deluded,
So I could be wrong about that, too,
Except sometimes........
Monday, August 09, 2010
CRISIS
I am told......
In written Mandarin
The symbol for "Crisis"
Is a combination of symbols
For "danger" and "opportunity".
Well, the Chinese have been around th block a few times more than us.
In written Mandarin
The symbol for "Crisis"
Is a combination of symbols
For "danger" and "opportunity".
Well, the Chinese have been around th block a few times more than us.
A STAND -v- A POSITION
When we take a Stand on something
We create a context that frames and holds all possibilities
And allows them to be,
As we engage with them creatively.
When we take a Position,
We dismiss possibilities and resist Opposition.
For example....
I have a Stand that is "A world that works for all of us."
I also have a corresponding Position that sounds like "A world that does what's right."
While both co-operation and opposition may arise
Within both a Stand and a Position,
A Stand tends to encourage co-operation;
While a Position openly invites opposition.
A stand is a quality of space that allows possibilities to show up;
A position is more like a manifesto, an expectant demand that negates certain resisted outcomes.
A stand is expansive;
A position is restrictive.
A stand balances all options;
A position excludes certain alternatives.
A stand is contextual;
A position is conditional.
Stands are creative.
You may create as many as you want,
As often as you want....
The more, the better.
Positions make you "right".
If you're at all like me,
You don't need any more to ruin your peace of mind.
Good luck.
We create a context that frames and holds all possibilities
And allows them to be,
As we engage with them creatively.
When we take a Position,
We dismiss possibilities and resist Opposition.
For example....
I have a Stand that is "A world that works for all of us."
I also have a corresponding Position that sounds like "A world that does what's right."
While both co-operation and opposition may arise
Within both a Stand and a Position,
A Stand tends to encourage co-operation;
While a Position openly invites opposition.
A stand is a quality of space that allows possibilities to show up;
A position is more like a manifesto, an expectant demand that negates certain resisted outcomes.
A stand is expansive;
A position is restrictive.
A stand balances all options;
A position excludes certain alternatives.
A stand is contextual;
A position is conditional.
Stands are creative.
You may create as many as you want,
As often as you want....
The more, the better.
Positions make you "right".
If you're at all like me,
You don't need any more to ruin your peace of mind.
Good luck.
UNIVERSAL ANSWERS
When someone hits you with an either/or question.........
............................."BOTH"
When someone asks you what's normal...........
..........................."SOMETIMES"
When you're tempted to be dogmatic, try adding................
................................................"EXCEPT SOMETIMES"
When someone asks for your advice...........................
................................."I can't give you any advice -- I don't know you. I know only one person -- my self. But I can share what I've learned from my experience, if you like."
6 CHARACTERISTICS OF SELF-REALISING BEINGS
Self-realising human beings give away their being by the way they naturally express their selves. Their demeanour, and verbal and body language is peppered with genuine assurances such as .........
- I can........
- I look forward to.........
- I want to........
- I'll volunteer.......
- I choose to..........
- Next time I'll do it differently.
- This is what I'll do.........
- I'm feeling better about the whole thing; and
- Thank you.
THE SIX CHARACTERISTICS
- Self Honesty
- Self Acceptance
- Self Esteem
- Self Image
- Self Requirement
- Self Dimension
1. Self Honesty
Self-honesty is absolutely fundamental. Without a total commitment to be honest with our self, about ourself, we're duck-paddling in tight circles.
It you're not prepared to be ruthlessly self-honest,
Don't waste your time with the rest of this --
Without self honesty, nothing is going to get better for you
Sorry to be so blunt,
But self-delusion was never a good idea
To anyone but a coward.
It you're not prepared to be ruthlessly self-honest,
Don't waste your time with the rest of this --
Without self honesty, nothing is going to get better for you
Sorry to be so blunt,
But self-delusion was never a good idea
To anyone but a coward.
We need to find the willingness and take daily time to step back from the fray, back from personal engagement, and take an uncritical overview of where we are and how creative and effective we're being in what's going on. We need to watch our selves as they relate to each other and to their environmental, social, physical, mental and spiritual natures. We need to abandon any urge to look either good or bad to ourself. We are grateful for the reflections from others, and we welcome any feedback from people who care enough about us and know us well enough to tell us what they see, without needing either to suck up to us, or to put us down.
Self-honesty arises from the inborn ability and a personal commitment
To create - within - a space of uncritical and uncriticised awareness
From which we observe ourself impartially.
In this loving place we grant ourself the freedom
To accept ourself as a unique, imperfect, evolving human-becoming,
And we commit to bestow as much attention to our potential,
As we once did to our supposed shortcomings.
2. Self Acceptance
It's a human trait that we act and behave in accordance with the way that we think we are and how we think we look to others, rather than the way we actually are and look. Those who learn to be fairly satisfied and creative with all of their qualities, values and features have a head start (pun intended) on those who don't.
Self-acceptance is our willingness, as much as we possibly can, to be fully oneself as that is unfolding, and to accept ultimate responsibility for the outcomes of what we are and do.
3. Self Esteem
It's a human trait that we act and behave in accordance with the way that we think we are and how we think we look to others, rather than the way we actually are and look. Those who learn to be fairly satisfied and creative with all of their qualities, values and features have a head start (pun intended) on those who don't.
Self-acceptance is our willingness, as much as we possibly can, to be fully oneself as that is unfolding, and to accept ultimate responsibility for the outcomes of what we are and do.
3. Self Esteem
As I see it,
We are not all born equal:
We don't have identical physical, mental and emotional capacities and attributes,
But we are given an equal ability, and right,
To feel excitement and joy,
And whatever the opposites of those might be,
In receiving and giving the gifts that come with living.
Really effective people rarely seem to question their intrinsic worth --
It is a given,
Even when they have nothing much more than a dream to go by.
Self Esteem is that deep-down, inside-the-skin feeling of worthiness.
We are not all born equal:
We don't have identical physical, mental and emotional capacities and attributes,
But we are given an equal ability, and right,
To feel excitement and joy,
And whatever the opposites of those might be,
In receiving and giving the gifts that come with living.
Really effective people rarely seem to question their intrinsic worth --
It is a given,
Even when they have nothing much more than a dream to go by.
Self Esteem is that deep-down, inside-the-skin feeling of worthiness.
You can't buy that.
No-one can give it to you, either:
Anything you are given by another, can be taken away again.
If any good feeling you have about yourself gets knocked around by circumstances,
Or even by how you woke up this morning --
That ain't it. That was not self-esteem;
There must have been a whiff of self-delusion in there somewhere.
Or maybe it's self-deprecation.
You do not have the slightest inkling of how corrosive self-criticism is
To your self esteem.
Why do we belittle ourselves?
Why are we so quick to downgrade the product,
When we haven't yet used it properly or effectively?
There must have been a whiff of self-delusion in there somewhere.
Or maybe it's self-deprecation.
You do not have the slightest inkling of how corrosive self-criticism is
To your self esteem.
Why do we belittle ourselves?
Why are we so quick to downgrade the product,
When we haven't yet used it properly or effectively?
We can take all the classes,
Go to all the seminars,
And chant until we're blue in the face,
But Self-Esteem is the eye of the storm that finds us,
Often in the unlikeliest of places,
Often in the unlikeliest of places,
At a time when we're not looking for it.
Self Esteem begins with a perception of Capability:
You start building a bank of things you decide
You're capable of.
You look for, and privately celebrate, realistic things to add to it every day,
And actively look out for opportunities to test-drive them.
Self Esteem begins with a perception of Capability:
You start building a bank of things you decide
You're capable of.
You look for, and privately celebrate, realistic things to add to it every day,
And actively look out for opportunities to test-drive them.
In self-esteem we magically become for ourself
The loving, encouraging, empowering parent
We always wanted to be.
We always wanted to be.
4. Self Image
What you see is what you get.
That's it. Bottom line.
If you want to get differently,
See yourself differently......
Deeply; a cursory quick-scan will not do.
Self-Image is a mirror image, at the deepest unconscious level of our awareness,
Of what we think we are,
And how we feel about that.
[The key word in the above sentence is "unconscious" --
Our self image is something we don't know that we know,
So it's not going to be accessible by normal means]
Our Self-Image marks the ceiling of possibility for our effectiveness and happiness.
By default, our self-image is taught to us
By people who thought they were doing the right thing;
They had no idea they were limiting our potential.
They didn't know any better....
Get over it.
Now you know differently;
That's evolution working.
Now it's your responsibility to continue the job of growing up.
What do you think about yourself?
How do you feel about yourself?
Our concepts of, and ideas and feelings about our self-image
Predetermine how we behave.
That connection is unbreakable.
That connection is unbreakable.
Our ego is always CCTV-videotaping what's going on inside our minds (plural intended)
And pressing behaviour buttons that'll make us look and feel
Either Good or Right.
Ironically, true self image looks like nothing,
And appears when you stop concerning yourself with how you "come across".
How you look and sound to others is none of your business;
It says more about them than about you.
5. Self Requirement
When I first put this article together back in 1983, I called this characteristic "Self Expectancy".
I've since changed my mind.
"Expectancy" has a lot to do with measuring one's self against some ideal standard
That is somehow externally sourced.
As such, we use that standard to whip ourself into some kind of compliance.
I tried that: it didn't work.
I've always had a problem with "complying"
With anyone or anything.
With anyone or anything.
It may be just semantics,
But the phrase "Self-Requirement" works better for me,
Because it shifts the source and the responsibility squarely onto me,
And allows me to decide, moment by moment, what standard of response
I require from myself in the current circumstances.
Self-Requirement allows me align my present behaviour with my consciously chosen
- Commitments
- Purposes
- Stands and standards
- Passions
- Desires
- Visions
Self Requirement gets its energy
From a pure and childishly simple Optimism
That experience and learning are what I'm here for,
That Evolvement arises from Involvement,
And every circumstance is an invitation to have a go.
The old techniques of motivation --
Striving for success, resisting negative thoughts, competing, and faking it until I feel it........
Striving for success, resisting negative thoughts, competing, and faking it until I feel it........
Played a huge part in dropping me into depression.
The Optimism I referred to above
That underlies self-requirement,
Is the key to the motivation that gets me through that black mud-hole;
Optimism and self-requirement get me up in the mornings.
6. Self Dimension
Perspective.
We've now come full-circle to where we started -- a loving self honesty.
Self Dimension takes us one step further now:
It is our ability reframe our perceptions,
To change the points from which we view a thing
And see things in differing lights.
It is our zest for occasionally stretching our eyes --
Looking up from the task at hand and seeing beyond ourself
Into a growing awareness of the purpose of all living,
And to see our place in that.
It involves our ability and willingness to balance and synthesize what we realise
Into a whole person-ality.
Consciously created self dimension begins
Within this expanding universe,
We set about exercising our vital abilities as best we can
Along lines of integrity and impeccability,
For no other reason than to see how it feels.
Daily living becomes its own reward.
6. Self Dimension
Perspective.
We've now come full-circle to where we started -- a loving self honesty.
Self Dimension takes us one step further now:
It is our ability reframe our perceptions,
To change the points from which we view a thing
And see things in differing lights.
It is our zest for occasionally stretching our eyes --
Looking up from the task at hand and seeing beyond ourself
Into a growing awareness of the purpose of all living,
And to see our place in that.
It involves our ability and willingness to balance and synthesize what we realise
Into a whole person-ality.
Consciously created self dimension begins
When we consciously turn away from ideas about "how life is" that contract and close in on us,
And turn instead towards a deliberately chosen perception of "how life is"
That expands us,
And that offers and rewards us with
An (often surprising) growth of scope for possibility.
Within this expanding universe,
We set about exercising our vital abilities as best we can
Along lines of integrity and impeccability,
For no other reason than to see how it feels.
Daily living becomes its own reward.
Saturday, August 07, 2010
NO THYSELF
To truly know your self,
You must abandon the desire to be understood --
By yourself, or anyone else.
I'm finding this hard to let go of.
You must abandon the desire to be understood --
By yourself, or anyone else.
I'm finding this hard to let go of.
Friday, August 06, 2010
PRINCIPLES & RULES
"I didn't break any rules!"
Is a defence of the morally bankrupt.
To obey a rule is a no-brainer;
Even vegetables can be trained.
You don't even have to acknowledge a rule's intent;
You only have to do what it says.
To live by a principle, however, is an entirely different matter.
It takes character, and some level of integrity.
You have to be upfront about a value you hold.
You have to think for yourself.
You're required to engage with the moment,
Take a deliberate stand (as distinct from a position)
And hold yourself accountable -- first and foremost --
To yourself.
A rule is merely an outward guide
Of what is socially expected;
A Principle is an inner expression of who and what you've decided to be.
It's personal;
In fact, it couldn't get any more personal.
And when you violate a principle,
You violate your self.
When you break a rule it may affect how other people think of you.
When you break a principle, it affects who you are
And what you think of you.
If you think that doesn't matter right now.....
Wait. And become aware.
You have to live with the consequences of what you're making of yourself,
And those consequences are not optional.
No matter how far and wide you travel,
Premium Business or Cattle Class,
You still have to take you, and your consequences, with you.
You see, God does have a wicked sense of just-is.
Is a defence of the morally bankrupt.
To obey a rule is a no-brainer;
Even vegetables can be trained.
You don't even have to acknowledge a rule's intent;
You only have to do what it says.
To live by a principle, however, is an entirely different matter.
It takes character, and some level of integrity.
You have to be upfront about a value you hold.
You have to think for yourself.
You're required to engage with the moment,
Take a deliberate stand (as distinct from a position)
And hold yourself accountable -- first and foremost --
To yourself.
A rule is merely an outward guide
Of what is socially expected;
A Principle is an inner expression of who and what you've decided to be.
It's personal;
In fact, it couldn't get any more personal.
And when you violate a principle,
You violate your self.
When you break a rule it may affect how other people think of you.
When you break a principle, it affects who you are
And what you think of you.
If you think that doesn't matter right now.....
Wait. And become aware.
You have to live with the consequences of what you're making of yourself,
And those consequences are not optional.
No matter how far and wide you travel,
Premium Business or Cattle Class,
You still have to take you, and your consequences, with you.
You see, God does have a wicked sense of just-is.
QUE SERA, SERA
What was --WAS
What is -- IS
What will be?
Listen to what you tell yourself
When the restraints are off
And you think no-one else is listening.
You'll discover,
You are, and have always been,
The best predictor of your own future.
What is -- IS
What will be?
Listen to what you tell yourself
When the restraints are off
And you think no-one else is listening.
You'll discover,
You are, and have always been,
The best predictor of your own future.
VALUE -v- RENOWN
Attend to the value within what you do
Rather than in your rewards for doing it.
Come what may,
Let reputation, renown and fame be the result,
Rather than the purpose for what you do.
Rather than in your rewards for doing it.
Let every act be the beginning of something,
The middle of something else,
And the end of something else again.
And spread it around.......
Any act terminating in itself
Turns to poison.
Come what may,
Let reputation, renown and fame be the result,
Rather than the purpose for what you do.
BUSTING OUT
A human being is part of a Whole,
That we call, variously, "existence", "nature", "creation", "the universe".
We each are a part, limited in time and space,
Of an unlimited, timeless, spaceless Whole.
But....
We each experience our self and the thoughts and feelings we have
As something separated from the rest of it all.
We live in a kind of optical delusion.
This delusion is a prison for us,
Restricting us to our personal decisions and desires
And to the affection of a few like-minded persons nearest to us.
We can free ourselves from this isolation
By widening our circle of compassion
To embrace all creation and the whole of nature,
All that of which we are....
Unconditionally in the beauty of "us" all.
That we call, variously, "existence", "nature", "creation", "the universe".
We each are a part, limited in time and space,
Of an unlimited, timeless, spaceless Whole.
But....
We each experience our self and the thoughts and feelings we have
As something separated from the rest of it all.
We live in a kind of optical delusion.
This delusion is a prison for us,
Restricting us to our personal decisions and desires
And to the affection of a few like-minded persons nearest to us.
We can free ourselves from this isolation
By widening our circle of compassion
To embrace all creation and the whole of nature,
All that of which we are....
Unconditionally in the beauty of "us" all.
THE LAW OF PSYCHOLOGICAL RECIPROCITY
Manipulators know...
Any time you give credit to another for his/her intelligence
They are morally and subconsciously bound
To give you credit for the next thing you say.
Victims know.....
Any time you buy into praise from someone,
You're gonna get hurt when they criticise you.
This is the Law of Psychological Reciprocity.
How to genuinely handle praise --
Any time you give credit to another for his/her intelligence
They are morally and subconsciously bound
To give you credit for the next thing you say.
Victims know.....
Any time you buy into praise from someone,
You're gonna get hurt when they criticise you.
This is the Law of Psychological Reciprocity.
How to genuinely handle praise --
- Acknowledge it is so
- Thank the reflection for the reflection -- find gratitude and express it
- Let it go
How to handle criticism --
- Acknowledge it is so
- Thank the reflection for the reflection -- find gratitude and express it
- Let it go
THE GIFT OF PROBLEMS
There is no such thing in life
As a problem unaccompanied by the Gift of Learning.
One reason we create problems for ourselves
Is because we secretly enjoy the gift.
As a problem unaccompanied by the Gift of Learning.
One reason we create problems for ourselves
Is because we secretly enjoy the gift.
POINTS OF VIEW
In a finite existence, such as being human,
Taking a point of view is inescapable.
Being finite, we cannot encompass the infinite --
Not all at once anyway.
The stupidity of sticking to one opinion, one perspective, one belief, one point of view,
Was never better displayed than a radio interview a few minutes ago
With a medical expert on the subject of lung cancer:-
Interviewer: Why do some people who smoke not get lung cancer, and why do some people who don't smoke contract the disease?
Expert: We don't know. (We assume) it's because they breathe in other people's smoke.
That was it. End of discussion. No further correspondence. His point of view is that "Lung cancer is caused by smoking". No other possible causes can be investigated.........
Well, righteousness makes life conveniently simple. I guess that's why it's so popular. OK, if you're happy to go through your entire life simple-minded.
The trick with dealing with the limitations of a Point of View
Is to change it,
As often as possible --
Certainly more often than your other underwear.
Taking a point of view is inescapable.
Being finite, we cannot encompass the infinite --
Not all at once anyway.
The stupidity of sticking to one opinion, one perspective, one belief, one point of view,
Was never better displayed than a radio interview a few minutes ago
With a medical expert on the subject of lung cancer:-
Interviewer: Why do some people who smoke not get lung cancer, and why do some people who don't smoke contract the disease?
Expert: We don't know. (We assume) it's because they breathe in other people's smoke.
That was it. End of discussion. No further correspondence. His point of view is that "Lung cancer is caused by smoking". No other possible causes can be investigated.........
Well, righteousness makes life conveniently simple. I guess that's why it's so popular. OK, if you're happy to go through your entire life simple-minded.
The trick with dealing with the limitations of a Point of View
Is to change it,
As often as possible --
Certainly more often than your other underwear.
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