Other people never are exactly as we think them to be,
For at least three very good reasons ---
1) We can only see (recognise) in others what we are aware of from within our self. Our view of others is limited by our level of self-awareness; and
2) What we see of everything around us is coloured by our own experiences, feelings. beliefs and expectations; and
3) We forget (or don't even know about) the laws of Duality, and choose to see only the bits of others that we want to see. We never see the whole person -- not all at once anyway.
To "admire" a person or thing is to look into a mirror and see reflected.....
"Admiration" contains the word "mirror".
When we admire, we see in another something we most like about our self.
(And the reverse is also true)
But whether the other person actually possesses those desirable qualities ought not to be taken as read. Nor should we discount the fact that they also have other, conflicting qualities that we may not be aware of. We mis-read others, and when they do something "out of character", we blame them! We get emotionally bent out of shape when someone does or says something that doesn't fit with the model of them that we've created for ourselves. This phenomenon is nowhere more evident than in our primary relationships with our parents and partners. We think we "know" them, then wonder why they sometimes "turn" on us, and why some of our "best-friend" relationships turn overnight into a train wreck.
When I look at you, or you look at me, we are seeing a mirror-ball of reflections -- rotating fragments of flash-glimpses of recognised bits of ourself. That's just how it is. Now what we see in another may be pretty close to a bit of their reality, as far as that goes, but what we think we know about them is never the whole thing. Never. We don't even know the whole of our selves! How can we possibly recognise and know the whole of another?
It's not anyone else's job to live down to your limited idea of them. Nor is it your job to keep anyone else comfortable by fitting in to their creation of you. As far as is possible, consider one another's sensibilities, but not at the expense of being all that you are. Allow yourself, and the other person to be exactly as he/she is, in their entirety, and not just as you see yourself, him, or her to be. Prepare and allow yourself to be surprised. Be grateful for any new glimpses you get; others are mirrors into your own unknown.
If you experience any kind of discomfort or suffering with a new discovery, become aware of your level of true self-confidence.
If you feel like a rug has been whipped out from under you, look into the health of your self-reliance.
And be grateful for those insights, too.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
THE NO-WIN BIT OF GROWING UP
From the moment of conception onwards, we've all had some way of responding to situations, ways that grew ever more sophisticated as time went on... until .....
There came a time in early childhood when we realised that not everything we did remained as cute as it once was, and some things even earned downright disapproval -- either tacit or overt. We began to encounter moments when certain responses from us to our perceived environment were no longer being admired by people we loved, especially our parents. And we couldn't understand why they changed toward us, but we figured it had to be that there was something "wrong" with us.
Which put us in a bind.... the threatening things and situations were not changing. The crises they triggered within were still very much there for us, but our responses were not approved of by people we not only loved nearly and dearly, but upon whose support we relied for sheer survival. So we solved that problem by suppressing our natural responses. We became "ir-response-able", in order to survive.
Which put us in an even deeper bind..... in trying to please others by suppressing ourselves, we generated an internal, emotional cocktail of despair, separation, grief, frustration, anger, jealousy (especially if we had siblings)..... all of which also had to be suppressed. We were definitely not allowed to get angry, frustrated or jealous with our parents and siblings -- how could we? We loved them! We were toting an ever-growing grab-bag of separating emotions, that we didn't feel we had a right to, and had no legitimate way of putting them where they belonged. We dealt with the pain of that, firstly by numbing ourselves to it, reducing our awareness and sensitivity; and later by taking it out on ourselves. We became accident- and illness-prone.
This growing pustule of internalised, accumulated resentment, frustration, anger, anxiety, despair, grief, etc. lies perilously close to the surface, ready to pop at the first sign of experiencing threat or offence. And when it does, we'll pay it out on any unfortunate who happens to be handy -- as long as.... 1) that person is not the real, legitimate target of our resentments and fears; and... 2) that person can't fight back and do serious damage. One of the reasons why relationships encounter difficulty is because most of us go into them without first resolving the unfinished business from our first and fundamental relationship -- the one we have with our parents. We carry over our stuff from there to taint every other relationship we'll ever have. Our poor spouse, our bosses, family members and any others we give emotional authority over us cop buckets of stuff that belong to our Mum or Dad. And they wonder what they've done wrong! (They're doing it, too, in their lives, but they don't make the connection either.)
What was once child-like, innocent, confident Being-ness became perverted years ago into self-rightness and self-importance. Self-confidence and self-awareness got lost. We mislaid our ability to respond appropriately and began reacting like emotional robots.
FROM UNDERDOG TO TOPDOG
There came a time in early childhood when we realised that not everything we did remained as cute as it once was, and some things even earned downright disapproval -- either tacit or overt. We began to encounter moments when certain responses from us to our perceived environment were no longer being admired by people we loved, especially our parents. And we couldn't understand why they changed toward us, but we figured it had to be that there was something "wrong" with us.
Which put us in a bind.... the threatening things and situations were not changing. The crises they triggered within were still very much there for us, but our responses were not approved of by people we not only loved nearly and dearly, but upon whose support we relied for sheer survival. So we solved that problem by suppressing our natural responses. We became "ir-response-able", in order to survive.
Which put us in an even deeper bind..... in trying to please others by suppressing ourselves, we generated an internal, emotional cocktail of despair, separation, grief, frustration, anger, jealousy (especially if we had siblings)..... all of which also had to be suppressed. We were definitely not allowed to get angry, frustrated or jealous with our parents and siblings -- how could we? We loved them! We were toting an ever-growing grab-bag of separating emotions, that we didn't feel we had a right to, and had no legitimate way of putting them where they belonged. We dealt with the pain of that, firstly by numbing ourselves to it, reducing our awareness and sensitivity; and later by taking it out on ourselves. We became accident- and illness-prone.
This growing pustule of internalised, accumulated resentment, frustration, anger, anxiety, despair, grief, etc. lies perilously close to the surface, ready to pop at the first sign of experiencing threat or offence. And when it does, we'll pay it out on any unfortunate who happens to be handy -- as long as.... 1) that person is not the real, legitimate target of our resentments and fears; and... 2) that person can't fight back and do serious damage. One of the reasons why relationships encounter difficulty is because most of us go into them without first resolving the unfinished business from our first and fundamental relationship -- the one we have with our parents. We carry over our stuff from there to taint every other relationship we'll ever have. Our poor spouse, our bosses, family members and any others we give emotional authority over us cop buckets of stuff that belong to our Mum or Dad. And they wonder what they've done wrong! (They're doing it, too, in their lives, but they don't make the connection either.)
What was once child-like, innocent, confident Being-ness became perverted years ago into self-rightness and self-importance. Self-confidence and self-awareness got lost. We mislaid our ability to respond appropriately and began reacting like emotional robots.
FROM UNDERDOG TO TOPDOG
We become what we resist.
[I vowed I would never become like my Dad. Never!.......... Well, the big difference between him and me is that I can talk and write about it. For that alone, I'm grateful to Mum]
As crises arise in our personal daily dramas, the reservoir of resentment, frustration, insecurity and hostility generated by, and accumulating from a lifetime of "irresponsible" reactions to our parents and subsequent authority figures waits, ever ready to fire us up.
In the past, though, we were always "the losers" in our tussles with our parents and rellies. Always. They were always bigger and wiser and more all-knowing than we were. In our reality, they still are, until they get so frail that we eventually feel brave enough to treat them like children. But that's the flip side of the same dynamic: we still secretly feel like "losers", towed around by our resentments of them.
But with others, it's different. Now we have grown up. Now we're bigger and older. Unless we absolutely have to, we're not going play "loser" any more; now we're going to play the apparent "winner". We switch from "underdog" mode to "topdog" mode -- the mode we learned from our parents. We become what we've always resisted. And we "do" our parents better than our parents ever did! WE become what we resist.
When an Underdog becomes a Topdog, he becomes a worse topdog than the old one ever was. That is, until we meet a bigger topdog, when we immediately flick back into resentful Underdog mode..... (Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full sir! [I'll get you for this!])
What's more, we think it's normal to be this way. Everyone else is doing it, too. We hardly know, or consider the possibility of any other way. We've lived so long with it, we think we NEED the anger, the self-pity, the self-importance, the frustration, the resentment and all the other stuff in order to survive! Internally and externally there always seems to be something we need to stand against, to struggle with, to go to war on, to change...
And we wonder why so many of us die of cancer! We even go to war on our cancers.
What's eating you?
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
GURU WHO-DO?
There's an assumption going around,
Well supported by the Enlightenment Industry
And the India Tourist Office,
That one has a snowball's chance in hell
Of attaining enlightenment
With out a Guru to guide one.
Sitting in the presence of an enlightened one
Is a phenomenal experience, to be sure,
And I'd love to do it again some day --
These guys know some very interesting disciplines to entertain oneself.
But I'm not so sure that it is essential to satori.
"Guru", I'm told, originates from two Sanskrit syllables
Meaning "darkness" and "light",
Thus the word means literally "From darkness to light."
But does it?
What if "guru" could also be translated
"Both darkness and light"?
That would qualify me to have a whack at being my own guru;
You, too.
And it seems to me that many of the masters, living and dead that I've come across
Have said at some stage the equivalent of
"Beware false gurus. You can do it yourself..... What are you waiting for?"
By all means, go to India, or Bali, or Thailand, or Mecca or Rome --
Wherever you fancy;
Lose yourself in chanting and mysticism,
And drench yourself in incense and satsangs until your blood turns saffron,
But eventually it comes back to
You.
Darkness AND light
Balanced.
GuRu....
One word.
One be-ing.
Uh......
Well supported by the Enlightenment Industry
And the India Tourist Office,
That one has a snowball's chance in hell
Of attaining enlightenment
With out a Guru to guide one.
Sitting in the presence of an enlightened one
Is a phenomenal experience, to be sure,
And I'd love to do it again some day --
These guys know some very interesting disciplines to entertain oneself.
But I'm not so sure that it is essential to satori.
"Guru", I'm told, originates from two Sanskrit syllables
Meaning "darkness" and "light",
Thus the word means literally "From darkness to light."
But does it?
What if "guru" could also be translated
"Both darkness and light"?
That would qualify me to have a whack at being my own guru;
You, too.
And it seems to me that many of the masters, living and dead that I've come across
Have said at some stage the equivalent of
"Beware false gurus. You can do it yourself..... What are you waiting for?"
By all means, go to India, or Bali, or Thailand, or Mecca or Rome --
Wherever you fancy;
Lose yourself in chanting and mysticism,
And drench yourself in incense and satsangs until your blood turns saffron,
But eventually it comes back to
You.
Darkness AND light
Balanced.
GuRu....
One word.
One be-ing.
Uh......
JEALOUSY & ENVY
Jealousy is an insane, irrational emotion that arises from a ground being of "Without you, I am not enough and sufficient for myself, and it's up to you to supply my deficiencies." ]
Who wants to live with that?
Underneath a blanket of emotions we call Jealousy and Envy,
I have seen.. and felt
Three positions --
Who wants to live with that?
Underneath a blanket of emotions we call Jealousy and Envy,
I have seen.. and felt
Three positions --
- "You are my property" (arising from Insecurity)
- "You have no right." (arising from Self-Importance)
- "You don't deserve" (arising from Lack of Confidence)
AN AFFIRMATION FOR ABUNDANCE
From the lord god of my being.......
I acknowledge that all that is
In and a round me,
Is what I am.
And all that is
Supports me.
There is no lack.
I stand challenged to receive
The support of all that is
For all that I have created myself to be.
So be it....
WHO SHOULD WE CHECK WITH TO FIND OUT?
What is your question?
Is this the right person for me to be going into relationship with?
What's wrong with me?
Am I in the right job?
Why can't I sleep?
What am I afraid/jealous of?
Why does this keep happening to me?
How should I deal with this?
Whatever question you're standing in at the moment,
I'd like to answer you,
Rather than the question,
With a question --
Who should we check with to find that out for you?
Often, when I ask this question,
I meet with a measure of resistance.
One day I wondered why.....
It occurred that, in order to be our own guru
And answer our own questions,
We need to access ALL that we are,
And all that we give to ourselves.
If there are No-Go Zones within --
Emotional, intellectual and spiritual places we just will not go,
Then we're bound to encounter questions
For which we come up empty,
And go looking outside of ourselves,
To others
And to other busy-ness
For our answers.
Such a strategy may be OK for getting an opinion,
But it's not a good recipe for fulfillment or enlightenment!
I create the measure of fulfillment, success, loving, bliss and sufficiency
Out of what kind of entity I feel that I am.
So do you.
If we feel we're coming up short and don't know why,
There's only one place we can go
That will give us the empowering answers we're looking for.y
With-in. y
Answers given by others run a very real danger of being irrelevant, misleading, uninspiring and depressing.
Even the informative and relevant ones can get lost.
And, at their very best, answers from others can only ever inspire us
To look within.
So, let's go back to your question......
They energise and affect whatever they're focused upon.
If we're getting limited information from within,
It's possible that we're being limited by, or focused on our own perceived shortcomings.
Are you willing to let go of any identifying
With anything you think you are not,
And simply let it lie in a Possible tray?
Are you willing to widen your scope
And embrace, firstly, all the "I Am's" that you know to be true
And put the ones you're less sure about into your Maybe File?
Good.
Now come back to those "I-am-Nots" in your Possibility tray --
Are you willing, at some time, to embrace them, too?
Is that a possibility?
Good.
Just loosen up and allow your field of vision to broaden a bit;
Take all the blinkers off.
Take your reading glasses off
And check out the whole panorama
That contains you and what you're focused in on.
This is the meta-physics of how it works.....
Your attention expands and solidifies wherever it's directed,
And the thought-field attracts everything from the environment to support it.
Which is a poncie way of saying
Whatever we focus upon, we're likely to get more of it.
But we've developed this really annoying habit
Of finding what we don't want, and trying to "fix" it.
Haven't we?
That's where our attention is.
So the universe (which doesn't say "No, you can't have that; it's bad for you.")
Gives you MORE of what you don't want,
And everything to support that.
Which gives rise to a realisation --
Is this the right person for me to be going into relationship with?
What's wrong with me?
Am I in the right job?
Why can't I sleep?
What am I afraid/jealous of?
Why does this keep happening to me?
How should I deal with this?
Whatever question you're standing in at the moment,
I'd like to answer you,
Rather than the question,
With a question --
Who should we check with to find that out for you?
Often, when I ask this question,
I meet with a measure of resistance.
One day I wondered why.....
It occurred that, in order to be our own guru
And answer our own questions,
We need to access ALL that we are,
And all that we give to ourselves.
If there are No-Go Zones within --
Emotional, intellectual and spiritual places we just will not go,
Then we're bound to encounter questions
For which we come up empty,
And go looking outside of ourselves,
To others
And to other busy-ness
For our answers.
Such a strategy may be OK for getting an opinion,
But it's not a good recipe for fulfillment or enlightenment!
I create the measure of fulfillment, success, loving, bliss and sufficiency
Out of what kind of entity I feel that I am.
So do you.
If we feel we're coming up short and don't know why,
There's only one place we can go
That will give us the empowering answers we're looking for.y
With-in. y
Answers given by others run a very real danger of being irrelevant, misleading, uninspiring and depressing.
Even the informative and relevant ones can get lost.
And, at their very best, answers from others can only ever inspire us
To look within.
So, let's go back to your question......
- What is your felt sense about it? Your answer will be an experience.
- If you don't have an answer yet, take a guess what they might be (there will always be more than one or two).
- If your very best friend asked you this question, what would your answers be? Stay open and let them pop: the answers that really matter often don't come up until 'way down the list.
They energise and affect whatever they're focused upon.
If we're getting limited information from within,
It's possible that we're being limited by, or focused on our own perceived shortcomings.
Are you willing to let go of any identifying
With anything you think you are not,
And simply let it lie in a Possible tray?
Are you willing to widen your scope
And embrace, firstly, all the "I Am's" that you know to be true
And put the ones you're less sure about into your Maybe File?
Good.
Now come back to those "I-am-Nots" in your Possibility tray --
Are you willing, at some time, to embrace them, too?
Is that a possibility?
Good.
Just loosen up and allow your field of vision to broaden a bit;
Take all the blinkers off.
Take your reading glasses off
And check out the whole panorama
That contains you and what you're focused in on.
This is the meta-physics of how it works.....
Your attention expands and solidifies wherever it's directed,
And the thought-field attracts everything from the environment to support it.
Which is a poncie way of saying
Whatever we focus upon, we're likely to get more of it.
But we've developed this really annoying habit
Of finding what we don't want, and trying to "fix" it.
Haven't we?
That's where our attention is.
So the universe (which doesn't say "No, you can't have that; it's bad for you.")
Gives you MORE of what you don't want,
And everything to support that.
Which gives rise to a realisation --
We can never seem to get enough
Of what we DON'T want.
When we shift focus OFF what we don't want
And look around us at the existence and availability
Of what we DO want,
There it is.
It's been there all along
Waiting for us to wake up
And to drop Separation.
All we need do to connect with what we want
Is to drop anything and everything we're carrying
That is separating us from it.
Are you game?
Are you ready to get off the Wheel of Lack?
Really? Are you sure?
(The only reason we sucked onto Lack is because we think there's some juice in it).
Have you had enough Lack?
Good.
Really? Are you sure?
(The only reason we sucked onto Lack is because we think there's some juice in it).
Have you had enough Lack?
Good.
Reconnecting with yourself may mean going within to some of those No-Go Zones;
In fact, I can just about guarantee that for you.
Are you willing?
Willingness is all you need, for now.
The day we created Duality,
"I Am" divided into "I-Am-and-I-Am-not"
And "I Have" split up into "I-Have-and-I-Have-not"
(Amongst all other dualities)
"Am Not" and "Have-Not" are mirror illusions we've created
That we're allowed to believe and be right about
So that we can really get what hell feels like.
(Heaven got boring one day, so we came here/now for a bit of entertainment. Don't fret, being human is not forever, nor is it fatal.
You might like to enjoy it while you've got the chance!)
When an "Am-Not" thought arises
Simply acknowledge it as a former guest
Who used to monopolise conversations around the board table of your mind.
Let it be,
And call in a thought that serves you better
To join the conversation.
And remember........
"Missing' is Opportunity in disguise.
Monday, October 11, 2010
LONGING FOR PERFECTION
Do you want things to be better than they are?
Do you want to be better than you are?
Or....
Do you resist betterness
(The obverse side of the same coin)?
Either way, good luck!
I've tried "Better" ways --
Outside of some incremental change
"Better" has led me around in ever-closing circles.
"Better", I've decided, is a figment of one's unkind mind.
Of course, we can see ways for something to be better than it is,
And we can all play our part in Change.
But what if life is not about getting better
But about getting happier?
Well, we were told right from Day#.1.....
"Change will bring happiness",
So we've grown up thinking...
"When this or that changes, I'll be happy."
We even learned very early on to use Unhappiness
As a way of getting others to change something.
As babies, we bunged on an "unhappy" act
To get some changes happening over there with other people,
And it worked (or so we thought),
For a while..........
Then, if we were well-parented, it stopped working.
If we were spoilt, we continued to get away with
Withholding our wellbeing to manipulate, dominate and control.
Either way, we still try it on --
(Don't say that; it'll upset somebody")
(Don't you dare upset me!")
We have a row with our partner in the morning,
Then rock off to work and forget about it,
Cruising through the day,
Our minds on other things.
We ride home at night, walk up to the door, turn the handle
And remember this mornings row.
Suddenly we turn from Mr.Hyde into Feckle Jeckyll.......
Well, how has that been working for you lately?
Any change? Any happier?
No? Me either.
Maybe it's time we both grew up.
I suggest
Our efforts toward change
Ought not blind us to opportunities for Transformation.
Change strives for Perfection;
Transformation is Renewal.
Perfection doesn't have a universal mould;
It isn't even genuine.
Perfection seems more like an imitation
Of someone else's idea
Of what some aspect of life SHOULD look like.
There is, in fact, no such thing as perfection.
"Perfection" is THE state of Is-ness.
It is the way of all be-ing, just as it is,
That you're either tuned into, or you're not.
When we switch from seeing something as "perfect" to be suddenly "imperfect",
Nothing has changed
Other than our perception of the thing.
So, Perfection/Imperfection rests within the "me" -- the perceiver;
It says nothing whatever about the perceived thing itself.
Here's how it looks to me ---
I can try and manipulate people and circumstances
To shape up the way I think they should be,
So that I can feel comfortable.
Well, I've tried that, and it hasn't worked,
And the closest I ever got
Never felt like "perfection" anyway,
Because I knew I'd dominated and controlled to get there.
But I do know the feeling of Perfection --
I've felt it.
As I remember it in the past,
The benediction -- the feeling -- of Perfection always showed up when I wasn't expecting it.
Then I went chasing after it.
That's when I discovered something --
This feeling I was chasing,
The feeling I was addicted to,
That I call "perfection"
Happened spontaneously
When I felt aligned with things as they are.
Nowadays, I don't have to wait for Perfection -- the feeling --
To descend like a benediction at the whim of chance:
I have found that Perfection is as close to, and as far away from me
As a deep, unconditional "Yes"
To what-is.
Sometimes that's easy;
And sometimes "Yes" IS emotionally still out of my reach.
So I say "Yes" to that.
That helps.
Where are you with "perfection"?
Perfection is what we are,
And it's hidden
In how we see ourselves
And what we experience ourselves as,
Not in relation to all things
(Because relationship implies separation),
But as inseparable from all things.
That feeling of suchness need not be as rare as we're experiencing.
But we're not going to find it
By striving to make someone or something "better";
Our chance for perfection begins
With making it all OK.
That's the hard bit;
That's why our experiences of Perfection
Are as rare as hens' teeth.
A friend said to me once, not out of despair but in a moment of relieved realisation .....
"You know, I thought when I started on this inner journey
I'd become a better person."
The quest to be better than we are arises,
At least in part,
From a consciousness of Lack --
Something is felt to be missing in what and where we are now.
That Lack-consciousness is, in turn, a product
Of the fundamental mis-take of Separateness;
A perceived gap between "what-I-am" and "what-I-ain't";
The so-called gap between "the way it is", and "the way it ain't",
The chasm we feel between "me" and Existence.
That gap does not, of course, exist.
Whatever we think we are not
Is part of what we are.
Whatever we think is not
Is part of the way it is.
Light we are
Thought we are
Feeling we are
Worthy we are
For God we are.
- AND -
Darkness we are
Thinking and feeling
Unworthy we are
For God we think and feel we are not --
We are.
When we're entertaining thoughts that "There should be more than this. How do I get?....."
We are coming from a ground being of Lack
And we are perpetuating the Wheel of Insufficiency.
We, in fact, go looking for "missing",
And we find it;
Everywhere we look
We see something "missing".
That is the Law of Seeking --
We will always find what we're looking for;
It's a part of being god.
Consider this possibility...
What if we're mistaken about the reality we're in?
What if there's another reality that is available to us
If only we'll give up on our insistence upon Lack and Insufficiency.
What if there is more
That is not actually missing,
Just hidden from us by our own blindness.
What if, when we change our assumptions that our universe is lacking,
We discover things that have been there all along ---
We just couldn't see them.
Sometimes reality is a bit like those wonderful 3-D illusions
That appear at first glance to be a jumble of patterns
But that suddenly become something quite miraculously different
When we get a click-shift of perception.
What if....
There is nothing missing.
What if we're standing in the middle of abundance,
And we have everything we need for now?
What if there is nothing to "work on",
Nothing to get
That we don't already have?
What if, instead, there is just everything to embrace,
Everything that is
Right now?
What if we ARE perfection,
And there is no goal to reach?
Nothing we ought to be that we are not already?
What might you have to give up
In order to allow a Perfection reality through?
What's stopping it?
What is hanging onto that costing you?
Is it worth it?
Do you want to be better than you are?
Or....
Do you resist betterness
(The obverse side of the same coin)?
Either way, good luck!
I've tried "Better" ways --
Outside of some incremental change
"Better" has led me around in ever-closing circles.
"Better", I've decided, is a figment of one's unkind mind.
Of course, we can see ways for something to be better than it is,
And we can all play our part in Change.
But what if life is not about getting better
But about getting happier?
Well, we were told right from Day#.1.....
"Change will bring happiness",
So we've grown up thinking...
"When this or that changes, I'll be happy."
We even learned very early on to use Unhappiness
As a way of getting others to change something.
As babies, we bunged on an "unhappy" act
To get some changes happening over there with other people,
And it worked (or so we thought),
For a while..........
Then, if we were well-parented, it stopped working.
If we were spoilt, we continued to get away with
Withholding our wellbeing to manipulate, dominate and control.
Either way, we still try it on --
(Don't say that; it'll upset somebody")
(Don't you dare upset me!")
We have a row with our partner in the morning,
Then rock off to work and forget about it,
Cruising through the day,
Our minds on other things.
We ride home at night, walk up to the door, turn the handle
And remember this mornings row.
Suddenly we turn from Mr.Hyde into Feckle Jeckyll.......
Well, how has that been working for you lately?
Any change? Any happier?
No? Me either.
Maybe it's time we both grew up.
I suggest
Our efforts toward change
Ought not blind us to opportunities for Transformation.
Change strives for Perfection;
Transformation is Renewal.
Perfection doesn't have a universal mould;
It isn't even genuine.
Perfection seems more like an imitation
Of someone else's idea
Of what some aspect of life SHOULD look like.
There is, in fact, no such thing as perfection.
"Perfection" is THE state of Is-ness.
It is the way of all be-ing, just as it is,
That you're either tuned into, or you're not.
When we switch from seeing something as "perfect" to be suddenly "imperfect",
Nothing has changed
Other than our perception of the thing.
So, Perfection/Imperfection rests within the "me" -- the perceiver;
It says nothing whatever about the perceived thing itself.
Here's how it looks to me ---
I can try and manipulate people and circumstances
To shape up the way I think they should be,
So that I can feel comfortable.
Well, I've tried that, and it hasn't worked,
And the closest I ever got
Never felt like "perfection" anyway,
Because I knew I'd dominated and controlled to get there.
But I do know the feeling of Perfection --
I've felt it.
As I remember it in the past,
The benediction -- the feeling -- of Perfection always showed up when I wasn't expecting it.
Then I went chasing after it.
That's when I discovered something --
This feeling I was chasing,
The feeling I was addicted to,
That I call "perfection"
Happened spontaneously
When I felt aligned with things as they are.
Nowadays, I don't have to wait for Perfection -- the feeling --
To descend like a benediction at the whim of chance:
I have found that Perfection is as close to, and as far away from me
As a deep, unconditional "Yes"
To what-is.
Sometimes that's easy;
And sometimes "Yes" IS emotionally still out of my reach.
So I say "Yes" to that.
That helps.
Where are you with "perfection"?
Perfection is what we are,
And it's hidden
In how we see ourselves
And what we experience ourselves as,
Not in relation to all things
(Because relationship implies separation),
But as inseparable from all things.
That feeling of suchness need not be as rare as we're experiencing.
But we're not going to find it
By striving to make someone or something "better";
Our chance for perfection begins
With making it all OK.
That's the hard bit;
That's why our experiences of Perfection
Are as rare as hens' teeth.
A friend said to me once, not out of despair but in a moment of relieved realisation .....
"You know, I thought when I started on this inner journey
I'd become a better person."
The quest to be better than we are arises,
At least in part,
From a consciousness of Lack --
Something is felt to be missing in what and where we are now.
That Lack-consciousness is, in turn, a product
Of the fundamental mis-take of Separateness;
A perceived gap between "what-I-am" and "what-I-ain't";
The so-called gap between "the way it is", and "the way it ain't",
The chasm we feel between "me" and Existence.
That gap does not, of course, exist.
Whatever we think we are not
Is part of what we are.
Whatever we think is not
Is part of the way it is.
Light we are
Thought we are
Feeling we are
Worthy we are
For God we are.
- AND -
Darkness we are
Thinking and feeling
Unworthy we are
For God we think and feel we are not --
We are.
When we're entertaining thoughts that "There should be more than this. How do I get?....."
We are coming from a ground being of Lack
And we are perpetuating the Wheel of Insufficiency.
We, in fact, go looking for "missing",
And we find it;
Everywhere we look
We see something "missing".
That is the Law of Seeking --
We will always find what we're looking for;
It's a part of being god.
I've just had a woman come to the door delivering Meals on Wheels.
Now see if you can picture this --
After a cold and wet winter, it's a radiantly soft spring day;
The sun is shining in a clear blue sky,
There's a light breeze stirring the spring blossoms and budding branches ,
And it's a balmy 28 degrees out there.
She remarks "What a nasty day it is!"
I'm flabbergasted. "Nasty?"
"It's nasty and windy!" she vows.
Who am I to argue with her?
She's looking for "nasty" (probably not for the first time in her life)
And she's found it!!
Maybe she's now decided I'm nasty, too
For not chorusing with her.
(We will always find what we're looking for.)
Consider this possibility...
What if we're mistaken about the reality we're in?
What if there's another reality that is available to us
If only we'll give up on our insistence upon Lack and Insufficiency.
What if there is more
That is not actually missing,
Just hidden from us by our own blindness.
What if, when we change our assumptions that our universe is lacking,
We discover things that have been there all along ---
We just couldn't see them.
Sometimes reality is a bit like those wonderful 3-D illusions
That appear at first glance to be a jumble of patterns
But that suddenly become something quite miraculously different
When we get a click-shift of perception.
What if....
There is nothing missing.
What if we're standing in the middle of abundance,
And we have everything we need for now?
What if there is nothing to "work on",
Nothing to get
That we don't already have?
What if, instead, there is just everything to embrace,
Everything that is
Right now?
What if we ARE perfection,
And there is no goal to reach?
Nothing we ought to be that we are not already?
What might you have to give up
In order to allow a Perfection reality through?
What's stopping it?
What is hanging onto that costing you?
Is it worth it?
Saturday, October 09, 2010
CHANCE & CHOICE
Every body has their share of ups and downs.
The differences between your life and mine
Are less of chance
Than choice.
My problems are worse than yours!
In a Victim mentality
We sit around like hospital patients
Comparing dis-eases and disasters;
We feed off them,
We get identity from them.
Now that is sick!
The differences between your life and mine
Are less of chance
Than choice.
My problems are worse than yours!
In a Victim mentality
We sit around like hospital patients
Comparing dis-eases and disasters;
We feed off them,
We get identity from them.
Now that is sick!
THE PRACTICES OF MYSTICISM -v- SPIRITUALITY
The practices of Mysticism are great pastimes,
And have a lot to recommend them
Over stealing cars or conquering countries,
But they are still like taking a shower wearing a raincoat.
All spirituality comes down to this
(And you can get this whether you're wearing a monks' robes or work clobber) ---
To realise what comes and goes
And let it come and go, unhindered......
And watch
Until we recognise what is
Already and always here.
What is that?
We don't know what it is,
But we do know THAT it is.
Be with that
And come from that.
And have a lot to recommend them
Over stealing cars or conquering countries,
But they are still like taking a shower wearing a raincoat.
All spirituality comes down to this
(And you can get this whether you're wearing a monks' robes or work clobber) ---
To realise what comes and goes
And let it come and go, unhindered......
And watch
Until we recognise what is
Already and always here.
What is that?
We don't know what it is,
But we do know THAT it is.
Be with that
And come from that.
Thursday, October 07, 2010
SELF-IMAGE
"I" is the centre of the universe
Around which the rest of the world revolves
Once every 24 hours.
Ego declares:
"I" is God in "my" world.
And you are God in yours, too.
Well, we both are god -- more than we realise,
Because our concept of godness
Is limited by ego which thinks of "god"
As some kind of Super-dad on steroids.
What we think of God and of ourselves
Is as much like the real thing
As reading some journalist's review
Of a real, 24-course Chinese banquet.
But what we privately think of our selves (plural intended)
Is really important.
There are some things that may be hidden from your friends,
But cannot be hidden from
The more awareful bits of creation.
Our own deep, unconscious self-appraisal
Seeps and radiates out into our magnetic field
Attracting experiences, opportunities and relationships
That mirror back to us
What "I" thinks of "Me".
The reason we don't readily make that connection
Is that, having separated our selves from our Self,
Having developed a false-self
And put that in charge of running our business
While we skived off into self-imposed exile,
We often have little idea of what's really going on
And of what we are really thinking and feeling.
We barely listen to what we say, to ourselves or to others,
We mis-read the effect we're having,
And we pull up at the end of each day in a bit of a mess.
But we put a lot of that down to "good luck" or "shit happens".
We get stuck on a wheel of repeating (mis)fortunes.
[Why does this keep happening to me?]
As we grow to own, accept and love more of what we are,
And become more aware of the thoughts and feelings that flow on through
We get a growing sense of choice
About what we want to experience,
And a healthy respect for a creative Awareness
That knows just how to put together
What we've put out for.
If we're not getting what we want,
I see two possible reasons:
a) What we say we want, and what we're actually putting out for via our aura may be very much at odds with each other: and
b) There may be some unfinished business or preparatory lessons we need to learn before we qualify for what we want.
Either way, we're being invited to look in available mirrors
And check our self-image.
What mirrors?
The people in front of us. Who else?
And not through what they tell us to our face,
But through what we see in them.
Whatever we see in the person in front of us right now,
Is our own self-image being reflected back to us.
The more genuine our self-honesty,
The closer we get to experiencing
An ultimate truth about how creating works from Self-Image ----
Around which the rest of the world revolves
Once every 24 hours.
Ego declares:
"I" is God in "my" world.
And you are God in yours, too.
Well, we both are god -- more than we realise,
Because our concept of godness
Is limited by ego which thinks of "god"
As some kind of Super-dad on steroids.
What we think of God and of ourselves
Is as much like the real thing
As reading some journalist's review
Of a real, 24-course Chinese banquet.
But what we privately think of our selves (plural intended)
Is really important.
There are some things that may be hidden from your friends,
But cannot be hidden from
The more awareful bits of creation.
Our own deep, unconscious self-appraisal
Seeps and radiates out into our magnetic field
Attracting experiences, opportunities and relationships
That mirror back to us
What "I" thinks of "Me".
The reason we don't readily make that connection
Is that, having separated our selves from our Self,
Having developed a false-self
And put that in charge of running our business
While we skived off into self-imposed exile,
We often have little idea of what's really going on
And of what we are really thinking and feeling.
We barely listen to what we say, to ourselves or to others,
We mis-read the effect we're having,
And we pull up at the end of each day in a bit of a mess.
But we put a lot of that down to "good luck" or "shit happens".
We get stuck on a wheel of repeating (mis)fortunes.
[Why does this keep happening to me?]
As we grow to own, accept and love more of what we are,
And become more aware of the thoughts and feelings that flow on through
We get a growing sense of choice
About what we want to experience,
And a healthy respect for a creative Awareness
That knows just how to put together
What we've put out for.
If we're not getting what we want,
I see two possible reasons:
a) What we say we want, and what we're actually putting out for via our aura may be very much at odds with each other: and
b) There may be some unfinished business or preparatory lessons we need to learn before we qualify for what we want.
Either way, we're being invited to look in available mirrors
And check our self-image.
What mirrors?
The people in front of us. Who else?
And not through what they tell us to our face,
But through what we see in them.
Whatever we see in the person in front of us right now,
Is our own self-image being reflected back to us.
The more genuine our self-honesty,
The closer we get to experiencing
An ultimate truth about how creating works from Self-Image ----
We think it -- it happens.
That's how it is. And it is that fast.
And that powerful!
Victim or victor,
Every last one of us is that powerful.
We are god
Saddled with a self-image,
Just for the hell of it..
The initiating thoughts we get about ourselves
Are limited
Because they're pre-filtered by how we feel about ourselves.
What we think about ourselves comes "true" --
We feel that back into real, confirming experience.
Whatever we think and feel about ourselves,
Is confirmed. Always.
We get to be right -- our ego sees to that.
It's utterly futile to sit with a lousy self-image,
Waiting for circumstances to change our minds for us;
That isn't going to happen!!!
If we want to permanently change our experience of anything
We first have to transform how we FEEL about ourselves.
Positive Thinking has nothing to do with it;
This kind of transformation happens out of mind.
You cannot reason your way out of anything
That was not reasoned into in the first place.
Our self-image was felt into existence,
It feeds off self-generated feelings,
And will need to be felt
Into something more useful.
LOSS
What the heart yearns to relinquish
As unnecessary limitation
The ego mourns and rebels against
As theft and loss.
Loss is space..........
With a negative judgment attached.
It is a sign of insanity
To keep doing what we've always done,
Hoping for a different result.
When you're faced with a crisis,
Consider taking the opportunity
To try something you've not done here before ---
Listen to your heart.
Let go.
Despite what the head-lines say
Loss will not kill you.
Look at it this way ----
It creates room for growth....
As unnecessary limitation
The ego mourns and rebels against
As theft and loss.
Loss is space..........
With a negative judgment attached.
It is a sign of insanity
To keep doing what we've always done,
Hoping for a different result.
When you're faced with a crisis,
Consider taking the opportunity
To try something you've not done here before ---
Listen to your heart.
Let go.
Despite what the head-lines say
Loss will not kill you.
Look at it this way ----
It creates room for growth....
SPACE
Have you suddenly found yourself
With space?
Maybe you've lost someone or something
That were are large part of your life.
Maybe you're missing someone,
Or something that someone used to bring you....
Don't be in too much of a hurry to fill the gaps.
You might take the opportunity
To do something we don't normally do --
Experience the spaces.
You may feel uncomfortable in those places for a while;
That's good.
Stay with them
Until your discomfort turns to equanimity;
Equanimity will eventually turn into appreciation,
Appreciation will morph into enjoyment.
Then, out of joy,
You can look to share the space
With someone or something else.
With space?
Maybe you've lost someone or something
That were are large part of your life.
Maybe you're missing someone,
Or something that someone used to bring you....
Don't be in too much of a hurry to fill the gaps.
You might take the opportunity
To do something we don't normally do --
Experience the spaces.
You may feel uncomfortable in those places for a while;
That's good.
Stay with them
Until your discomfort turns to equanimity;
Equanimity will eventually turn into appreciation,
Appreciation will morph into enjoyment.
Then, out of joy,
You can look to share the space
With someone or something else.
ANSWERS
To J........
I don't have the Answer for you
(And neither does anyone else)
For two reasons.......
Firstly, I only have answers that either worked for me yesterday or are working for me today. I offer them freely and willingly to you. If you find any of them relevant, interesting, tasty or nourishing to you, take them and run with them, please.
Secondly, you don't really need answers anyway; you already have your answers in the form of your present experience. All you need do now is remember what the questions were. Then, when you've made the connection, make up some new questions that will lead you where you want to go.
Which leads me to the $64,000 question -- What do you want? Right now? Today? Tomorrow? Next week? In a year's time?......
Hint: Make sure you know what you DO want; it won't work if you aim for an absence of what you don't want.
I don't have the Answer for you
(And neither does anyone else)
For two reasons.......
Firstly, I only have answers that either worked for me yesterday or are working for me today. I offer them freely and willingly to you. If you find any of them relevant, interesting, tasty or nourishing to you, take them and run with them, please.
Secondly, you don't really need answers anyway; you already have your answers in the form of your present experience. All you need do now is remember what the questions were. Then, when you've made the connection, make up some new questions that will lead you where you want to go.
Which leads me to the $64,000 question -- What do you want? Right now? Today? Tomorrow? Next week? In a year's time?......
Hint: Make sure you know what you DO want; it won't work if you aim for an absence of what you don't want.
Wednesday, October 06, 2010
PRAYER
"Consistently talking to oneself
Without receiving an audible answer,
But thinking you have,
Is classed as "insane"
In all circumstances except religion."
David Nicholls
Monday, October 04, 2010
SACRIFICE
We don't have to sacrifice anything to be in a state of godness;
Godness is how we arrived here.
Don't confuse "godness" with "holiness" --
"Godness" is the state in which we declare "I am...."
And become everything we add after that
So that we can experience it.
We all do it,
Mostly without being aware of it,
Every moment of every day.
"Holiness", by contrast, is an ego trip;
A heightened state of delusion
That results when we take detachment and "rightness" to an absurd extreme
And manage to elude being discovered
To be barking mad.
"Holiness" is also an appellation given to another
In fake humility
By people who won't own their own supreme godness.
Our first mistake as babies
Was to think we had to give up something in order to be happy.
And some of us are still doing it decades later!
But maybe that's because we've never seriously challenged that assumption
That Happiness is something that needs to be somehow acquired or obtained:
It never was,
And still isn't.
There are just some things that we came as,
That we've forgotten we still are at some level of our being,
And always have been.
"Happy" is one of those indelible states of being
We may turn our back on, and lose track of,
But will never be further away from us
Than an "A-Hah!" of re-cognition.
Here's a dangerous idea --
Sacrifice is not necessary to Godness.
Watch whatever now rushes to address the danger of that idea,
Rather than address the question --
"What if this were true?"
What if Sacrifice was a con-job perpetrated on us
By "holy" creeps who wanted us to stay "less-than"?
I look back on my life and realise
I have (so far) never met anybody who claimed to be sacrificing something
Who also seemed to be ecstatically happy about it;
Quite the contrary......
"Stoic" would be the highest and lightest they've managed to rise..
And those who do appear to me to be happily being-without something
For the good of something- or someone-else,
All swear they're not sacrificing anything.
"Sacrifice" is neither in their vocabulary or their attitude..
I believe them.
I've come to a conclusion
That Happiness and Sacrifice never go together,
And that whether or not we're sacrificing
Must depend on our point of view.
Victims sacrifice out of a scarcity consciousness;
Non-victims share out of abundance.
Sacrifice is a refuge of the "holy";
Godness is the birthright of the Responsible.
Come to think of it --
Whenever I have considered myself to be "sacrificing",
Under a thin veneer of nobility, I've always secretly resented
Both the need to sacrifice
And the ungrateful buggers I've sacrificed myself for.
We're at a crossroads:
Holiness or Godness?
We don't have to give up anything to be happy.
And we have to allow ourselves to embrace everything
To be God.
Godness is how we arrived here.
Don't confuse "godness" with "holiness" --
"Godness" is the state in which we declare "I am...."
And become everything we add after that
So that we can experience it.
We all do it,
Mostly without being aware of it,
Every moment of every day.
"Holiness", by contrast, is an ego trip;
A heightened state of delusion
That results when we take detachment and "rightness" to an absurd extreme
And manage to elude being discovered
To be barking mad.
"Holiness" is also an appellation given to another
In fake humility
By people who won't own their own supreme godness.
Our first mistake as babies
Was to think we had to give up something in order to be happy.
And some of us are still doing it decades later!
But maybe that's because we've never seriously challenged that assumption
That Happiness is something that needs to be somehow acquired or obtained:
It never was,
And still isn't.
There are just some things that we came as,
That we've forgotten we still are at some level of our being,
And always have been.
"Happy" is one of those indelible states of being
We may turn our back on, and lose track of,
But will never be further away from us
Than an "A-Hah!" of re-cognition.
Here's a dangerous idea --
Sacrifice is not necessary to Godness.
Watch whatever now rushes to address the danger of that idea,
Rather than address the question --
"What if this were true?"
What if Sacrifice was a con-job perpetrated on us
By "holy" creeps who wanted us to stay "less-than"?
I look back on my life and realise
I have (so far) never met anybody who claimed to be sacrificing something
Who also seemed to be ecstatically happy about it;
Quite the contrary......
"Stoic" would be the highest and lightest they've managed to rise..
And those who do appear to me to be happily being-without something
For the good of something- or someone-else,
All swear they're not sacrificing anything.
"Sacrifice" is neither in their vocabulary or their attitude..
I believe them.
I've come to a conclusion
That Happiness and Sacrifice never go together,
And that whether or not we're sacrificing
Must depend on our point of view.
Victims sacrifice out of a scarcity consciousness;
Non-victims share out of abundance.
Sacrifice is a refuge of the "holy";
Godness is the birthright of the Responsible.
Come to think of it --
Whenever I have considered myself to be "sacrificing",
Under a thin veneer of nobility, I've always secretly resented
Both the need to sacrifice
And the ungrateful buggers I've sacrificed myself for.
We're at a crossroads:
Holiness or Godness?
We don't have to give up anything to be happy.
And we have to allow ourselves to embrace everything
To be God.
HOME
Come on home,
Where we just notice and accept the totality of it,
Find ways to creatively engage with it,
And live it in successive moments of Now.
Here is where everlasting, eternal happiness
Begins to dawn
And we are home again
At last.
Where we just notice and accept the totality of it,
Find ways to creatively engage with it,
And live it in successive moments of Now.
Here is where everlasting, eternal happiness
Begins to dawn
And we are home again
At last.
WILL
The Will of God
Is to be realised,
As and through all of it.
There is no "won't" to this will.
But in man
God allows "won'ts"
Just to make the "will" interesting.
Despite himself,
The Will of Man
Is also to BE
Realising
I am
Right here, right now.
Is to be realised,
As and through all of it.
There is no "won't" to this will.
But in man
God allows "won'ts"
Just to make the "will" interesting.
Despite himself,
The Will of Man
Is also to BE
Realising
I am
Right here, right now.
JUDGMENT
Good or bad,
Right or wrong,
Better or worse than...
Every Judgment re-creates an idealised fiction
That is probably unrealistic,
Even if only because it's based on the percieved performance
Of something or someone "else".
Judgments and self-criticisms
Arise from a non-existent absolute
Against which we measure our selves
And categorise others.
The Inner Critic/Judge is the two-faced Janus
We contracted to stand sentry at the gate of our soul,
To keep us "safe" ..............
And imprisoned.
(We didn't bargain on that.)
Just watch,
Observe how the Judge works.
Watch it uncritically in others
And in your self.
Another entity denying or excusing him/her self,
This entity denying or excusing itself.
Notice the effect each sentence, each frown, each "tut-tut" has on you.
Underneath the self-righteousness,
Feel the contractions.
Man judges and pardons,
God allows,
And just watches - unjudgmentally - to see what happens next.
Outside of mere man-mind, I suspect,
There is no judging God,
No avenging angels,
No Judgment Day.
Armageddon is what's happening within
While we waste every day sitting in criticism and judgment.
Stop doing it!
Who do we think we're "correcting"?
Who are we trying to punish?
If you find that you're too late -
You've just judged someone,
Don't judge your self for it.
It's just a habit.
Let it go.
The more often you let it go,
The sooner it will let you go.
Gain the wisdom --
Judging and being judged
Are each inherent in the other;
Not at some later judgment date,
But in this instant.
Resurrection is what happens
When we lift the burdens of judgment, guilt and punishment
And allow the healing of At-one-ment.
Right or wrong,
Better or worse than...
Every Judgment re-creates an idealised fiction
That is probably unrealistic,
Even if only because it's based on the percieved performance
Of something or someone "else".
Judgments and self-criticisms
Arise from a non-existent absolute
Against which we measure our selves
And categorise others.
The Inner Critic/Judge is the two-faced Janus
We contracted to stand sentry at the gate of our soul,
To keep us "safe" ..............
And imprisoned.
(We didn't bargain on that.)
Just watch,
Observe how the Judge works.
Watch it uncritically in others
And in your self.
Another entity denying or excusing him/her self,
This entity denying or excusing itself.
Notice the effect each sentence, each frown, each "tut-tut" has on you.
Underneath the self-righteousness,
Feel the contractions.
Man judges and pardons,
God allows,
And just watches - unjudgmentally - to see what happens next.
Outside of mere man-mind, I suspect,
There is no judging God,
No avenging angels,
No Judgment Day.
Armageddon is what's happening within
While we waste every day sitting in criticism and judgment.
Stop doing it!
Who do we think we're "correcting"?
Who are we trying to punish?
If you find that you're too late -
You've just judged someone,
Don't judge your self for it.
It's just a habit.
Let it go.
The more often you let it go,
The sooner it will let you go.
Gain the wisdom --
Judging and being judged
Are each inherent in the other;
Not at some later judgment date,
But in this instant.
Resurrection is what happens
When we lift the burdens of judgment, guilt and punishment
And allow the healing of At-one-ment.
I AM........
May thy free will be done on Earth
As it is in Heaven.
I Am is the miracle I am looking for.
I am God/Thought
Lowered in frequency into Light,
Further lowered into gross matter, gross emotions, gross thinking --
Into all somethings,
Including Flesh/Man.
We are....
The children of That Which Is.
Any thought of "I am not",
Perpetuates an illusion of duality,
Of "Me" and "Not-me".
This ill-usion is where we live,
In a universe of duality.
This duality we're seeped in is both a reality and an illusion,
In much the same way as a dream is real, while we are in it;
But when we wake up.........
Do you have a thought "This is not me?"
OK. But who is having the thought of "Not-me"
"Me"? Of course, me.
"I Am" is over all.
To the degree that I own, love and master
The totality of what I am
Is the degree to which I create Heaven as it is on Earth.
The degree to which I see myself as something "Not",
Is the degree to which I separate from Godness-Gracious-Me
Suffer the duality that only mind can conjure,
And create Hell as it is on Earth.
Our life is our most deeply held thoughts
Mirrored and echoed back to us.
Every thought, every word is a prayer
Shooting forth to create what is
And what is to be in the next moment.
I am
My secret.
The longer I look outside of me
To find something to mirror back what I'd like to think I am,
The longer I perpetuate the illusion
That there is something that I am not.
God is reported to have said
"I am
What I am"
I, too, am what I am.
You are what you are.
What does that make us?
Hmm-mmm-mmm?
Sunday, October 03, 2010
MIRRORS
It's all done with mirrors.
"If I can see it, it's my stuff"
But not every one you experience reflects exactly where you are, as you are.
Some may mirror where you have been,
Some may mirror how far you have come,
Some may mirror stuff you aren't finished with yet,
And some may mirror your potential.
It requires discernment,
Of Insight rather than intellect,
And Humility of spirit.
And sometimes it requires patience.
If you do not immediately recognise what's reflected back to you,
Simply put it in the "Pending" tray
And pay attention to what happens next;
Life will deliver an experience that will offer you an "A-hah!"
In the meantime,
Try being grateful for all the mirrors around you.
"All I see is me."
"If I can see it, it's my stuff"
But not every one you experience reflects exactly where you are, as you are.
Some may mirror where you have been,
Some may mirror how far you have come,
Some may mirror stuff you aren't finished with yet,
And some may mirror your potential.
It requires discernment,
Of Insight rather than intellect,
And Humility of spirit.
And sometimes it requires patience.
If you do not immediately recognise what's reflected back to you,
Simply put it in the "Pending" tray
And pay attention to what happens next;
Life will deliver an experience that will offer you an "A-hah!"
In the meantime,
Try being grateful for all the mirrors around you.
"All I see is me."
COMFORTABLENESS
Being comfortable is simple;
It means relaxing enough to unconditionally accept What-Is
And experience it without suffering.
If the "What-Is" of now is suffering,
Then don't get bent out of shape about the suffering.
Just let the suffering, or whatever else, be as it is.
Maybe getting comfortable is not always easy,
But it couldn't get any simpler than
"Just this much, for now".
It means relaxing enough to unconditionally accept What-Is
And experience it without suffering.
If the "What-Is" of now is suffering,
Then don't get bent out of shape about the suffering.
Just let the suffering, or whatever else, be as it is.
Maybe getting comfortable is not always easy,
But it couldn't get any simpler than
"Just this much, for now".
SEX & LOVE
To the extent that we're afraid of sex,
We suppress love.
When we suppress anything,
We suppress love.
When we suppress love,
Something opposite arises.
We suppress love.
When we suppress anything,
We suppress love.
When we suppress love,
Something opposite arises.
HEAVEN AND HELL
Qu.:- What if we died already, and this is it?
Heaven and Hell are both fabrications of the divided mind.
Is there heaven (or hell) after death?
I don't know.
But if there is, "I" will never know it
Because our consciousness will have ceased to be.
There will be no "I" to report back,
And no "Me" to report back to.
Death is, amongst other things, deliverance from Ego.
Is there heaven on Earth?
Yes. And Hell, too.
It depends
On which we each choose to create
As a Context for living.
Heaven and Hell are both fabrications of the divided mind.
Is there heaven (or hell) after death?
I don't know.
But if there is, "I" will never know it
Because our consciousness will have ceased to be.
There will be no "I" to report back,
And no "Me" to report back to.
Death is, amongst other things, deliverance from Ego.
Is there heaven on Earth?
Yes. And Hell, too.
It depends
On which we each choose to create
As a Context for living.
PITY
Pity is not a virtue;
It is one way god-botherers feel good about themselves.
Pity is selfish.
Pity reduces its object
To a state of lesserness, humiliation and suffocation;
And elevates its subject
To a plinth of disengaged "better-than..."
Another way could be,
Out of abundant empathy,
To share your compassion.
Do whatever it takes
To help another help him/herself.
Put the other in charge of his own rehabilitation.
Restore dignity.
Restore self-respect.
It is one way god-botherers feel good about themselves.
Pity is selfish.
Pity reduces its object
To a state of lesserness, humiliation and suffocation;
And elevates its subject
To a plinth of disengaged "better-than..."
Another way could be,
Out of abundant empathy,
To share your compassion.
Do whatever it takes
To help another help him/herself.
Put the other in charge of his own rehabilitation.
Restore dignity.
Restore self-respect.
Friday, October 01, 2010
GOD or GOD-NESS
....And Godness created Man
In its own like-ness.
Man in turn created "God"
In the image of his ego.
There it is....
The ultimate D.I.Y. slavery,
For whoever or whatever creates
Can destroy that which has been created.
When Man worships a god,
Man puts himself in the power of a man-made despot.
Look at all the madmen who've ever gone to war in God's name.
Godness, however, has never been created;
From before the dawn of time,
It has always been.
The idea called "God"
Makes slaves of us.
A God has to be worshipped
And obeyed.
In "God-ness" we are the created,
And the creators.
God-ness is not worshipped,
But it can be acknowledged
(or ignored; that's up to you.
Godness is...
What we are,
Waiting to be remembered
When we wake up to ourselves.
Godliness shines forth in integrity --
Nothing missing.
In its own like-ness.
Man in turn created "God"
In the image of his ego.
There it is....
The ultimate D.I.Y. slavery,
For whoever or whatever creates
Can destroy that which has been created.
When Man worships a god,
Man puts himself in the power of a man-made despot.
Look at all the madmen who've ever gone to war in God's name.
Godness, however, has never been created;
From before the dawn of time,
It has always been.
The idea called "God"
Makes slaves of us.
A God has to be worshipped
And obeyed.
In "God-ness" we are the created,
And the creators.
God-ness is not worshipped,
But it can be acknowledged
(or ignored; that's up to you.
Godness is...
What we are,
Waiting to be remembered
When we wake up to ourselves.
Godliness shines forth in integrity --
Nothing missing.
WORSHIP
When we don't feel strong enough
To do what another is doing,
We worship.
Someone, something, an idea..........
Worship keeps us trapped
In our devotion to powerlessness.
To do what another is doing,
We worship.
Someone, something, an idea..........
Worship keeps us trapped
In our devotion to powerlessness.
TIME
Past, present and future
Are divisions, not of time
But of the mind.
There is only one kind of time ---
Now,
Undivided and eternal.
The past exists only in mind's memories;
The future exists only in mind's imaginings.
Here and now,
Mind cannot be.
When we drop the past,
The future takes care of itself,
For the future is nothing but a modified form
Of what we judge and fantasize our past to have been.
When we drop into the present, even for a moment
We break the nexus between past and future.
We are freed of guilts and regrets (past)
And anxieties and worries (future).
It is hard work commuting between the past (dead)
And the future (unborn) ---
Digging up old graves, and deep holes for new ones
Is hard yakka.
Take a break;
Slip into Now.
Existence knows only one place and time -- Here/Now.
Even when we're distractedly off in the past or future,
We're doing it Here and Now;
Real, actual Life and Bliss are passing us by
While we stare at phantoms.
Here/now there is no suffering.
In order to suffer, we need our mind,
And mind cannot be present.
Herenow is bliss -- the only bliss.
Herenow is power -- the only place of power.
Herenow is the connecting point with all-that-is,
Which is Godliness.
Where does God live?
Here/Now.
Thy will be done
Over all the earth
As it is in Here/Now.
Are divisions, not of time
But of the mind.
There is only one kind of time ---
Now,
Undivided and eternal.
The past exists only in mind's memories;
The future exists only in mind's imaginings.
Here and now,
Mind cannot be.
When we drop the past,
The future takes care of itself,
For the future is nothing but a modified form
Of what we judge and fantasize our past to have been.
When we drop into the present, even for a moment
We break the nexus between past and future.
We are freed of guilts and regrets (past)
And anxieties and worries (future).
It is hard work commuting between the past (dead)
And the future (unborn) ---
Digging up old graves, and deep holes for new ones
Is hard yakka.
Take a break;
Slip into Now.
Existence knows only one place and time -- Here/Now.
Even when we're distractedly off in the past or future,
We're doing it Here and Now;
Real, actual Life and Bliss are passing us by
While we stare at phantoms.
Here/now there is no suffering.
In order to suffer, we need our mind,
And mind cannot be present.
Herenow is bliss -- the only bliss.
Herenow is power -- the only place of power.
Herenow is the connecting point with all-that-is,
Which is Godliness.
Where does God live?
Here/Now.
Thy will be done
Over all the earth
As it is in Here/Now.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
A BIT OF SELF-HONESTY ABOUT LYING
When I'm lying,
To myself or others,
I'm withholding the truth --
Which means that I must know
What the truth is.
To myself or others,
I'm withholding the truth --
Which means that I must know
What the truth is.
HONESTY AND DISTANCE
We create varying amounts of distance,
Spatial and emotional,
Between our self and others;
As much distance as we need to feel comfortable.
Similarly we create varying amounts of distance
Between our self and feelings we have trouble handling.
So far, so good.
It's understandable.
But then we lie about the distancing
And/or the real reasons for it
And pretend we're right over there beside them.
Why would we bother to do that?
What are we afraid of?
What is it about telling the truth
That we couldn't live with ourselves
If we just out and did it?
Even although withholding the truth
Is insulting the person being distanced,
By creating him/her/me as "unable" to handle the truth.
Spatial and emotional,
Between our self and others;
As much distance as we need to feel comfortable.
Similarly we create varying amounts of distance
Between our self and feelings we have trouble handling.
So far, so good.
It's understandable.
But then we lie about the distancing
And/or the real reasons for it
And pretend we're right over there beside them.
Why would we bother to do that?
What are we afraid of?
What is it about telling the truth
That we couldn't live with ourselves
If we just out and did it?
Even although withholding the truth
Is insulting the person being distanced,
By creating him/her/me as "unable" to handle the truth.
ACKNOWLEDGING
Acknowledging cannot happen
While I am either agreeing or disagreeing.
Acknowledging is surrendering to the total Is-ness of the matter.
While I am either agreeing or disagreeing.
Acknowledging is surrendering to the total Is-ness of the matter.
OBEDIENCE & SURRENDER
OBEDIENCE
Both Obedience and Disobedience
Are vastly overrated qualities.
Any dumb jerk can be obedient --
A primitive, knee-jerk survival reaction
To please and go along in order to get along,
With someone we've given away our power to.
Any dumb jerk can be disobedient --
A primitive, knee-jerk reaction
To resist and dis-please
Someone we've given away our power to.
Disobedience is a vain attempt to feel what we already are --
Free.
It never works.
By disobeying, we demand release
From whatever we're resisting
By tying ourselves to it.
Blind obedience to general rules will always be problematical
Because each situation is unique,
Both in itself and within the surrounding circumstances at the time.
(We cannot step in the same river twice)
If obedience or disobedience is ever a question,
It will be about who and/or what we are being obedient or disobedient TO......
Individuals, self-held rules, values, concepts, beliefs, opinions and superstitions
That manipulate, dominate and control us.
Obedience and disobedience are also about an internal policeman called The Inner Critic/Judge
And his close colleague, Guilt --
The carnal coppers each of us has created for our selves
To drive us crazy.
"I was only following instructions....."
Obeisance is a refuge
Of those who have lost touch
With their one-ness with all that is,
With their in-tuition,
Their own internal guidance systems,
With their senses of empathy and appropriateness
And their sensitivity to the sovereign rights of others.
"I haven't broken any laws..."
Blind obedience to anyone or anything
Is an abrogation of personal responsibility.
Obedience is for Victims --
Underdogs.
("Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full sir -- [sotto voce] -- I'll get you for this, sir.")
Underdogs in one environment
Become Topdogs in another.
Beware.
When an Underdog becomes a Topdog,
It becomes a worse Topdog than the previous incumbent.
In any environment where power over others is traded,
Whether it's across the floor of parliament, around a committee table, over the startline at a street drag race, or around the lounge room after a family funeral,
Underdogs and Topdogs warily jostle and jockey one another for position,
Like stray dogs on a Bangkok backstreet.
Obedience is the orig-anal, primitive Political Correctness.
SURRENDER
When we Surrender
We get to see more clearly What-Is;
We're freer to engage more creatively with What-Is,
Just as it is.
There is no selling out
To obedience or disobedience,
To kowtowing or resistance.
In Surrender
We pass on our egos' glossy promise of Control
For the greater reality of Mastery.
Surrender is only possible
When the CEO of your life
Comes back from the world's longest lunch-hour,
Busts Ego back to the mailroom
And picks up responsibility once more.
Both Obedience and Disobedience
Are vastly overrated qualities.
Any dumb jerk can be obedient --
A primitive, knee-jerk survival reaction
To please and go along in order to get along,
With someone we've given away our power to.
Any dumb jerk can be disobedient --
A primitive, knee-jerk reaction
To resist and dis-please
Someone we've given away our power to.
Disobedience is a vain attempt to feel what we already are --
Free.
It never works.
By disobeying, we demand release
From whatever we're resisting
By tying ourselves to it.
Ruthless Rules of Reality
Whatever we resist, persists.
We become what we resist.
Blind obedience to general rules will always be problematical
Because each situation is unique,
Both in itself and within the surrounding circumstances at the time.
(We cannot step in the same river twice)
If obedience or disobedience is ever a question,
It will be about who and/or what we are being obedient or disobedient TO......
Individuals, self-held rules, values, concepts, beliefs, opinions and superstitions
That manipulate, dominate and control us.
Obedience and disobedience are also about an internal policeman called The Inner Critic/Judge
And his close colleague, Guilt --
The carnal coppers each of us has created for our selves
To drive us crazy.
"I was only following instructions....."
Obeisance is a refuge
Of those who have lost touch
With their one-ness with all that is,
With their in-tuition,
Their own internal guidance systems,
With their senses of empathy and appropriateness
And their sensitivity to the sovereign rights of others.
"I haven't broken any laws..."
Blind obedience to anyone or anything
Is an abrogation of personal responsibility.
Obedience is for Victims --
Underdogs.
("Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full sir -- [sotto voce] -- I'll get you for this, sir.")
Underdogs in one environment
Become Topdogs in another.
Beware.
When an Underdog becomes a Topdog,
It becomes a worse Topdog than the previous incumbent.
In any environment where power over others is traded,
Whether it's across the floor of parliament, around a committee table, over the startline at a street drag race, or around the lounge room after a family funeral,
Underdogs and Topdogs warily jostle and jockey one another for position,
Like stray dogs on a Bangkok backstreet.
Obedience is the orig-anal, primitive Political Correctness.
SURRENDER
When we Surrender
We get to see more clearly What-Is;
We're freer to engage more creatively with What-Is,
Just as it is.
There is no selling out
To obedience or disobedience,
To kowtowing or resistance.
In Surrender
We pass on our egos' glossy promise of Control
For the greater reality of Mastery.
Surrender is only possible
When the CEO of your life
Comes back from the world's longest lunch-hour,
Busts Ego back to the mailroom
And picks up responsibility once more.
RESPONSIBILITY
Responsibility arises from a ground being
Of Spontaneity.
At the heart of successful Responsibility
Is our ability to respond freely to whatever,
Rather than kneejerk-react.
Without response-ability --
The power to see ourself as Cause in the matter
And as the author of our experience --
We are just robotic machines,
Variously intelligent
And profoundly stupid.
We are completely at the mercy of the tides of fortune
And the whims of anyone who pushes our emotional buttons...
We are Victims.
Responsibility requires intelligently honest self-knowing, an eager willingness to be accountable, and the welcome interplay of intuition.
Responsibility is the passcard to Integrity.
Of Spontaneity.
At the heart of successful Responsibility
Is our ability to respond freely to whatever,
Rather than kneejerk-react.
Without response-ability --
The power to see ourself as Cause in the matter
And as the author of our experience --
We are just robotic machines,
Variously intelligent
And profoundly stupid.
We are completely at the mercy of the tides of fortune
And the whims of anyone who pushes our emotional buttons...
We are Victims.
Responsibility requires intelligently honest self-knowing, an eager willingness to be accountable, and the welcome interplay of intuition.
Responsibility is the passcard to Integrity.
MEDITATION
Meditation is witnessing ---
Uninvolved ---
Within and without ---
Watching the thoughts and feelings that flow and ebb through
Watching existence expanding, contracting and curving in on itself,
Watching the heart and its embracements,
Watching the mind in its machinations,
Watching every selfish world rotating
Each on its own axis,
Witnessing the knee-jerk reactions
Of our negative egos
And feeling-memories
(For what is feeling, other than memory?)
Watching ..... Without getting caught up.
And when we do get caught up,
Watching that, too, with detached interest.
Adopting the perspective of an allowing Witnesser
Helps create emotional distance from whatever is being witnessed.
You are less involved.
With distance, identification lessens,
Suffering lessens.
The witnesser is no longer in the thrall
Of that which is being witnessed.
As we cease to identify with the thoughts and feelings that flow through us
We become less neurotically reactive
And more responsive......
More centred.
Our ability to respond rather than react
Lies at the the core of Response-ability.
Uninvolved ---
Within and without ---
Watching the thoughts and feelings that flow and ebb through
Watching existence expanding, contracting and curving in on itself,
Watching the heart and its embracements,
Watching the mind in its machinations,
Watching every selfish world rotating
Each on its own axis,
Witnessing the knee-jerk reactions
Of our negative egos
And feeling-memories
(For what is feeling, other than memory?)
Watching ..... Without getting caught up.
And when we do get caught up,
Watching that, too, with detached interest.
Adopting the perspective of an allowing Witnesser
Helps create emotional distance from whatever is being witnessed.
You are less involved.
With distance, identification lessens,
Suffering lessens.
The witnesser is no longer in the thrall
Of that which is being witnessed.
As we cease to identify with the thoughts and feelings that flow through us
We become less neurotically reactive
And more responsive......
More centred.
Our ability to respond rather than react
Lies at the the core of Response-ability.
ASSERTION -v- AGRESSION
Assertion sets boundaries
And delineates one's rights.
Agression crosses boundaries
And violates another's rights.
And delineates one's rights.
Agression crosses boundaries
And violates another's rights.
QUESTIONS & ANSWERS
Right from the moment I was born
I was crammed full of "answers".
Mum & Dad gave me all their Answers,
Long before I ever got to formulate my questions ---
"Who am I?" "Where do I come from?" "Why am I here?" "Where am I going to?" "What's best for me to do while I'm here?"
That's not their fault; that's the way the game of being human was set up
Long before they had a chance to have any say in it.
While this setup may not be ideal,
It reflects a truth that I didn't get until my fifth decade --
This back-to-front set-up phase is also practical:
At least until we reach a stage
Where we can responsibly think and feel for ourselves.
"Answers-first" gives us a way of surviving and growing
Until we can discard our trainer wheels
And chart our own course.
A problem arises when we don't make that transition.
It seems to be this way for all of us.
Giving answers to life questions, asked and unasked, is what parents do:
It's part of their contribution to setting the game up for us.
The trick in good parenting is setting up the rules of the various games that are played concurrently --
Family, state, spiritual and cultural --
Teaching us how to creatively join in the play
And, as we mature,
How to find and express our individuality, satisfaction and freedom
Within the games.
Where I came unstuck with my Mum & Dad was
I asked questions they were quite sure I shouldn't be asking,
And to which they didn't have answers that sounded plausible, even to them.
That generated Confusion and Anger,
For them and for me.
Another problem with their unasked-for answers,
(And this they had in common with all parents)
Was that the ready-made answers they rolled off the training line
Weren't even theirs;
They had inherited them from their forbears.
Now, it you've ever played the game of Chinese Whisper,
You'll know how limited and unreliable is the process of communicating by passing information verbally from one to another.TT
Yet children unquestioningly go along with what they're taught in word, thought, attitude, mood and deed by their "betters" as if it were "gospel".
I'm damned if I know why but, after a certain point, I just couldn't do that.
It made life very rough and rocky,
Especially with a father whose granite-set motto was
"I am right, and you are wrong."
T
Eventually I raked up enough nerve to tentatively ask some of my own questions,
But I asked them of others, not of myself.
So I launched into marriage and parenthood
Full of shaky answers, values, ideas, concepts, opinions and beliefs --
Most of them umpteenth-hand-me-downs
From people who were just as lost as I was.
I hadn't a clue about any difference between what I believed, and what I knew.
I was so full of "shoulds" rammed into me by parents, relatives, teachers, preachers and, later, self-help gurus
About how I ought to be thinking and feeling
That there was no room in consciousness for real, actual thinking and feeling.
I was following instructions -- "Fake it until you make it."
Unfortunately much of my "knowledge" was at odds with my own experience,
But that remained unchallenged
Because I didn't yet either trust the validity of the trickle of real experience that was leaking through the defences,
Or had I ever met the "me" that was having the experience.
Looking back on it,
It's little wonder that my world and the reality I was living in
Had become so dysfunctional.
I felt like I was trapped in an off-beat orchestra
Where everyone was trying to play someone else's instrument,
To someone else's rhythm
And someone else's music,
Where none of the players were really listening to each other,
Where no-one was hearing their own music,
And no-one was even aware of a conductor.
It was a right cacophony!
Here was I, looking for The Answer,
While my head was full of synthetic answers
For which I hadn't yet formed authentic questions.
The experiences I was having were the answers
To questions I hadn't more than the vaguest notion of.
I was into my 50's before I got a handle on this stuff
And set out to discover my questions --
The questions for which I already had my answers,
And questions that could kick-start my life
Into a direction that would work better for me.
Answers that relate to conscious questions we're standing in
Ring with truth.
They resonate with our first-hand experience.
They become part of our knowing.
Knowledge gained from others
Can be formulated into a question
And tested in the light of ensuing experience
To see if they ring true for ourselves.
But until then any "truths" adopted from others
Remain just "maybe's", opinions, ideas or beliefs --
False klnowledge --
Until they're tested in personal experience.
Then they have juice.
If you're reading thus far,
It's high time, if you haven't already done so,
For you to wean yourself off being force-fed;
Time to take responsibility for yourself,
Push the trainer wheels to one side,
Ask your own questions
And walk the path of your own truth unfolding.
To accomplish this,
You don't need to reject or isolate yourself from anyone or anything.
There's no need to make yourself "right" and another "wrong".
In fact, that might be detrimental.
On the contrary,
You could grow like a young sapling,
Separate
And under the shade and protection of older trees.
There are no free lunches on this journey,
No cheap, short-cut solutions,
No cheat-sheets at the back of someone else's textbook book to look up
For a quick answer.
By all means, listen to and read about the experiences of others --
You'll always get new ideas and possibilities
To try for yourself.
Life is a do-it-to-yourself game.
The only knowing for "me"
Is what I dis-cover within and through myself;
Anything else is rumour, hearsay and superstition.
That applies, by the way, to this and anything else I write.
This is my stuff, and I'm not even attached to it.
For you, it is nothing more than hearsay,
Until you test it in your own experience.
Neither you nor I can see with somebody else's eyes;
We cannot hear with somebody else's ears.
We cannot feel through another's heart;
I cannot think through your mind.
We're not supposed to!
We cannot know truth anywhere
Save in our own awareful experience.
In the past, I have allowed myself
And, in some instances, even begged to be conditioned by others who seem to have "The Answer".
I was so out of it then,
I didn't realise I was wanting, yet again,
For others to go responsible for me --
To tell me what to do.
The wise ones said "No. Here's a mud-map from when I did the trip. Find out for yourself. If you want to, let me know how you're going."
That was true empathy and support.
Similarly, I will not go responsible for you.
I give you a map and some notes,
But it's up to you to find your way.
If you really insist you cannot do it on your own,
That is your choice.
I know differently,
But it's not my job to disagree with you, prove you wrong and change your mind for you.
You'd never be able to thank me for it anyway
And you would be right to resent me for it.
Anything someone else gives you can be taken away from you.
Anything you give to your self, is yours,
And you will never need from another.
Other people's truths are like the Sower's Seed
That fell on stony ground.
It may take root and flourish for a while,
But eventually it will fall prey
To the heat of the summer sun
And the ravages of birds and insects.
Answers you get for yourself, from your experience
Are YOUR answers,
And no-one can take them away from you.
Stand in your own questions,
And be available for the answers that come in experience.
Here's a question for you to stand in -----
When I ask that question right now, here's some of what pops for me ---
What your life is about depends on the questions you ask of your self.
Experience is the universe's lesson.
The answers and the learning you get
Are up to you.
I was crammed full of "answers".
Mum & Dad gave me all their Answers,
Long before I ever got to formulate my questions ---
"Who am I?" "Where do I come from?" "Why am I here?" "Where am I going to?" "What's best for me to do while I'm here?"
That's not their fault; that's the way the game of being human was set up
Long before they had a chance to have any say in it.
While this setup may not be ideal,
It reflects a truth that I didn't get until my fifth decade --
We already have The Answer;
Our only problem is
We've forgotten what The Question was.
This back-to-front set-up phase is also practical:
At least until we reach a stage
Where we can responsibly think and feel for ourselves.
"Answers-first" gives us a way of surviving and growing
Until we can discard our trainer wheels
And chart our own course.
A problem arises when we don't make that transition.
It seems to be this way for all of us.
Giving answers to life questions, asked and unasked, is what parents do:
It's part of their contribution to setting the game up for us.
The trick in good parenting is setting up the rules of the various games that are played concurrently --
Family, state, spiritual and cultural --
Teaching us how to creatively join in the play
And, as we mature,
How to find and express our individuality, satisfaction and freedom
Within the games.
Where I came unstuck with my Mum & Dad was
I asked questions they were quite sure I shouldn't be asking,
And to which they didn't have answers that sounded plausible, even to them.
That generated Confusion and Anger,
For them and for me.
Another problem with their unasked-for answers,
(And this they had in common with all parents)
Was that the ready-made answers they rolled off the training line
Weren't even theirs;
They had inherited them from their forbears.
Now, it you've ever played the game of Chinese Whisper,
You'll know how limited and unreliable is the process of communicating by passing information verbally from one to another.TT
Yet children unquestioningly go along with what they're taught in word, thought, attitude, mood and deed by their "betters" as if it were "gospel".
I'm damned if I know why but, after a certain point, I just couldn't do that.
It made life very rough and rocky,
Especially with a father whose granite-set motto was
"I am right, and you are wrong."
T
Eventually I raked up enough nerve to tentatively ask some of my own questions,
But I asked them of others, not of myself.
So I launched into marriage and parenthood
Full of shaky answers, values, ideas, concepts, opinions and beliefs --
Most of them umpteenth-hand-me-downs
From people who were just as lost as I was.
I hadn't a clue about any difference between what I believed, and what I knew.
I was so full of "shoulds" rammed into me by parents, relatives, teachers, preachers and, later, self-help gurus
About how I ought to be thinking and feeling
That there was no room in consciousness for real, actual thinking and feeling.
I was following instructions -- "Fake it until you make it."
Unfortunately much of my "knowledge" was at odds with my own experience,
But that remained unchallenged
Because I didn't yet either trust the validity of the trickle of real experience that was leaking through the defences,
Or had I ever met the "me" that was having the experience.
Looking back on it,
It's little wonder that my world and the reality I was living in
Had become so dysfunctional.
I felt like I was trapped in an off-beat orchestra
Where everyone was trying to play someone else's instrument,
To someone else's rhythm
And someone else's music,
Where none of the players were really listening to each other,
Where no-one was hearing their own music,
And no-one was even aware of a conductor.
It was a right cacophony!
Here was I, looking for The Answer,
While my head was full of synthetic answers
For which I hadn't yet formed authentic questions.
The experiences I was having were the answers
To questions I hadn't more than the vaguest notion of.
I was into my 50's before I got a handle on this stuff
And set out to discover my questions --
The questions for which I already had my answers,
And questions that could kick-start my life
Into a direction that would work better for me.
Answers that relate to conscious questions we're standing in
Ring with truth.
They resonate with our first-hand experience.
They become part of our knowing.
Knowledge gained from others
Can be formulated into a question
And tested in the light of ensuing experience
To see if they ring true for ourselves.
But until then any "truths" adopted from others
Remain just "maybe's", opinions, ideas or beliefs --
False klnowledge --
Until they're tested in personal experience.
Then they have juice.
If you're reading thus far,
It's high time, if you haven't already done so,
For you to wean yourself off being force-fed;
Time to take responsibility for yourself,
Push the trainer wheels to one side,
Ask your own questions
And walk the path of your own truth unfolding.
To accomplish this,
You don't need to reject or isolate yourself from anyone or anything.
There's no need to make yourself "right" and another "wrong".
In fact, that might be detrimental.
On the contrary,
You could grow like a young sapling,
Separate
And under the shade and protection of older trees.
There are no free lunches on this journey,
No cheap, short-cut solutions,
No cheat-sheets at the back of someone else's textbook book to look up
For a quick answer.
By all means, listen to and read about the experiences of others --
You'll always get new ideas and possibilities
To try for yourself.
Life is a do-it-to-yourself game.
The only knowing for "me"
Is what I dis-cover within and through myself;
Anything else is rumour, hearsay and superstition.
That applies, by the way, to this and anything else I write.
This is my stuff, and I'm not even attached to it.
For you, it is nothing more than hearsay,
Until you test it in your own experience.
Neither you nor I can see with somebody else's eyes;
We cannot hear with somebody else's ears.
We cannot feel through another's heart;
I cannot think through your mind.
We're not supposed to!
We cannot know truth anywhere
Save in our own awareful experience.
In the past, I have allowed myself
And, in some instances, even begged to be conditioned by others who seem to have "The Answer".
I was so out of it then,
I didn't realise I was wanting, yet again,
For others to go responsible for me --
To tell me what to do.
The wise ones said "No. Here's a mud-map from when I did the trip. Find out for yourself. If you want to, let me know how you're going."
That was true empathy and support.
Similarly, I will not go responsible for you.
I give you a map and some notes,
But it's up to you to find your way.
If you really insist you cannot do it on your own,
That is your choice.
I know differently,
But it's not my job to disagree with you, prove you wrong and change your mind for you.
You'd never be able to thank me for it anyway
And you would be right to resent me for it.
Anything someone else gives you can be taken away from you.
Anything you give to your self, is yours,
And you will never need from another.
Other people's truths are like the Sower's Seed
That fell on stony ground.
It may take root and flourish for a while,
But eventually it will fall prey
To the heat of the summer sun
And the ravages of birds and insects.
Answers you get for yourself, from your experience
Are YOUR answers,
And no-one can take them away from you.
Stand in your own questions,
And be available for the answers that come in experience.
Here's a question for you to stand in -----
If "Me" is the Answer --
What might the Questions have been?
- What does it feel like to be writing, not knowing if anyone's going to read this stuff? [It feels like "me"]
- What does it feel like to be a father? Grandfather? Uncle? [It feels like "me"]
- What does it feel like to be the product of Bill and Eira Barkla? (Note: My brother and sister will have differing answers to that question)
- What does it feel like to be a responsible, allowing, caring, courageous, playful adventurer?
- What does it feel like to be an open, innocent, intelligent explorer?
- What does it feel like to be a phoney, deluded, head-fucking bore?
- What does it feel like to be an irresponsible danger?
- What does it feel like to have an Operating Principle that says I have to feel Grief and Hurt to gain Validation and Honour?
- What is honesty/dishonesty, and what does it feel like, from both sides?
- What is integrity/disintegrity?
- What is wisdom/stupidity?
What your life is about depends on the questions you ask of your self.
Experience is the universe's lesson.
The answers and the learning you get
Are up to you.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
NECESSITY
Almost by default,
We regard Necessity as an impost
Rather than an opportunity.
That's our first mistake.
Our second mistake is to use "necessity" as an excuse, or code word
To avoid personal responsibility for choices we've made.
Stand in this for a while........at least until you get it........
We regard Necessity as an impost
Rather than an opportunity.
That's our first mistake.
Our second mistake is to use "necessity" as an excuse, or code word
To avoid personal responsibility for choices we've made.
Stand in this for a while........at least until you get it........
Necessity,
Engaged with
IS Freedom.
Engaged with
IS Freedom.
Hint:- To see it, you'll have to get a bit closer than just thinking about it.
LIFELONG LEARNING
In chronological order......
Learning to crawl.
Learning to walk.
Learning to talk
(We already knew how to communicate).
Learning to think for ourselves,
Remembering to feel.
Learning to get self-honest.
Learning to surrender.
Discovering how to live
Without a "How-to" book of rules.
Learning to crawl.
Learning to walk.
Learning to talk
(We already knew how to communicate).
Learning to think for ourselves,
Remembering to feel.
Learning to get self-honest.
Learning to surrender.
Discovering how to live
Without a "How-to" book of rules.
LOVE AND MARRIAGE
"Love and marriage, love and marriage
Go together like a horse and carriage".
Yes, well, there's more than one good reason that song is no longer on the hit parade!
Love is light,
Lighter than air,
Lighter than thought,
Lighter than feeling.
Love is not a feeling, or a thought....
Love is the atmosphere in which all thought and feeling
(Including the ones we call "love")
Draw breath.
It is the stuff that love contains that gets heavy;
That stuff includes the romantic thoughts and feelings we mistake for "love". The stuff includes relationship and marriage.
What is Love?
Love is..........
Period.
Love manifests itself as anything you add after "Love is....."
Relationshit and marriage are man-made
In the image of our own egos.
Love is like a refreshing breeze on a warm summer day
But when man encounters Love in his room
He/she suddenly wants to close all the doors and windows
And trap it inside
For himself.
Trapped into relationships and marriages.
The breeze stagnates and grows stale.
Please don't misunderstand me --
Neither relationships nor marriages are wrong;
They seem to be a worthy part of being human.
I love relationships; I get off on them!
They are Love manifested.
And so are relationshits and divorces.
Love is so much more than just its appearances.
Try this experiment....
Hold your hands cupped until a gently running tap.
Notice how some water stays for a while in your cupped hands,
And some just over-flows on by.
Even the water that stays moves on
Making way for more water. Yes?
Now try to hang on to that water.
Clench you fists under the tap.
What happens to the water you had in your hands?
What happens to the water that falls onto your closed fists?
Let love go;
Let it flow.
Whatever stays with you,
Stays of its own willing accord.
Whatever flows on by
Was never yours in the first place.
"Because you're mine......."
Puh-leeeze!!
Love does not make anyone or anything your property.
If you harbour any notions of ownership or belonging,
That is not Love.
"....for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God..."
Exodus 20:5
That's not God speaking; that's the froth of some storyteller's ego,
Picked up by a bunch of Levite priests around 500 BC looking for a monoply on worshiping rights.
To love is to let go.
We love in Freedom,
Or we do not love at all.
CONTEXT
Context is a state of Being.
When creating a Context for oneself
It's wise to use "being", rather than "doing" words --
e.g. "Watchfulness", rather than "Watchingness".
Adding the suffix "-ness" helps get the feel of it....
"Watchful" still has an air of "doing" about it,
While "watchfulness" is a space we can relax into.
Try the two for yourself now, one after the other.
Do it a couple of times,
And feel into the difference between the two.
A Context should not be stressful;
If it's stressing you, there's a Condition going on.
If that's happening, create a context to cradle the constricting condition.
Context has less influence on the kind of things that we do
Than on the WAY that we do.
Context is about the way we are Being.
Let's say, for example, that I am about to go on-air
To present a radio programme........
If I've had a stressful day and I'm feeling a bit on edge
And consequently I'm in a context of, say, "apprehensiveness"
My presentation is likely to be very different from the way it may be
If I'm in a context of, say, "empoweringness".
I'm coming from a different place;
Same music, same sponsor spots, same newsbreaks, but a subtly different show
With a different appeal and impact.....
Maybe even a different audience!
Another important thing I've found about Context ---
Something that may be useful in one context
May be less useful, or even harmful, in another context.
To cite an absurdly extreme example --
In a context state of "groundedness", given the skills I have,
Counselling might be a useful thing to do.
In a state of "confusedness", however, it might be a better idea to take a sickie and do something else
Because the static of confusion I'm coming from
Is going to confuse the communication.
And from the other side of the same fence, I'd rather not place my life in the hands of an airline pilot, a brain surgeon, or another driver on the freeway at a time when they're under the influence of a context of "furiousness". I've had my share of massages from people who've been running personal emotional stuff while they've been working on me --- not a good result: I've learned the hard way to trust my instincts and cancel the appointment.
Ways of being (eg. believingness, certainness, faithfulness, dependentness) that may have served us well in the past, do not retain their usefulness as life moves on. At some point, everything -- yes, everything -- comes up for review. Whether you heed the warnings or not is up to you. Mid-life crisis, for example, is a tsunami of previously unheeded warnings.
Take charge of your life.
Willingly re-examine everything you've ever assumed.
And don't just do a spring-clean
(That's when we "tidy-up"; we open up the drawers and cupboards,
and move our stuff around to a new location)
Be prepared to chuck anything that is no longer useful.
Give it away.
Get rid of it.
Travel light.
When creating a Context for oneself
It's wise to use "being", rather than "doing" words --
e.g. "Watchfulness", rather than "Watchingness".
Adding the suffix "-ness" helps get the feel of it....
"Watchful" still has an air of "doing" about it,
While "watchfulness" is a space we can relax into.
Try the two for yourself now, one after the other.
Do it a couple of times,
And feel into the difference between the two.
A Context should not be stressful;
If it's stressing you, there's a Condition going on.
If that's happening, create a context to cradle the constricting condition.
Context has less influence on the kind of things that we do
Than on the WAY that we do.
Context is about the way we are Being.
Let's say, for example, that I am about to go on-air
To present a radio programme........
If I've had a stressful day and I'm feeling a bit on edge
And consequently I'm in a context of, say, "apprehensiveness"
My presentation is likely to be very different from the way it may be
If I'm in a context of, say, "empoweringness".
I'm coming from a different place;
Same music, same sponsor spots, same newsbreaks, but a subtly different show
With a different appeal and impact.....
Maybe even a different audience!
Another important thing I've found about Context ---
Something that may be useful in one context
May be less useful, or even harmful, in another context.
To cite an absurdly extreme example --
In a context state of "groundedness", given the skills I have,
Counselling might be a useful thing to do.
In a state of "confusedness", however, it might be a better idea to take a sickie and do something else
Because the static of confusion I'm coming from
Is going to confuse the communication.
And from the other side of the same fence, I'd rather not place my life in the hands of an airline pilot, a brain surgeon, or another driver on the freeway at a time when they're under the influence of a context of "furiousness". I've had my share of massages from people who've been running personal emotional stuff while they've been working on me --- not a good result: I've learned the hard way to trust my instincts and cancel the appointment.
Ways of being (eg. believingness, certainness, faithfulness, dependentness) that may have served us well in the past, do not retain their usefulness as life moves on. At some point, everything -- yes, everything -- comes up for review. Whether you heed the warnings or not is up to you. Mid-life crisis, for example, is a tsunami of previously unheeded warnings.
Take charge of your life.
Willingly re-examine everything you've ever assumed.
And don't just do a spring-clean
(That's when we "tidy-up"; we open up the drawers and cupboards,
and move our stuff around to a new location)
Be prepared to chuck anything that is no longer useful.
Give it away.
Get rid of it.
Travel light.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
PITY
Self-Pity sucks.
It is a ploy to wangle love out of an "other".
It doesn't work --
The best a self-pitier can hope for in return
Is Pity.
Giving Pity to a self-pitier
Is as good as giving blood to Dracula.
Pity sucks, too.
Pity is the false love of do-gooders,
Wet and sticky.
Pity doesn't nourish, or bring happiness to either party.
The pitier feels -- I don't know -- somehow sanctified,
While the Pitied one goes on drowning in even more ooze.
Out of Self-Pity we finish up back in self-pity,
Wallowing in a reality
In which we can feel so sorry for ourselves
That surely some saviour will notice we're drowning
And come to rescue us.
Self-Pity, and its bastard half-sibling, Self-Importance
Are Class-A Ir-responsibility.
A giver of Pity should be treated with the utmost suspicion.
Pity is sentiment
Bestowed by someone "higher" upon some poor unfortunate "lower" being.
There's nothing noble about Pity.
There is nothing of one's self given away in Pity,
And the person pitied is created as dis-abled.
And if you think they can't pick up on that, you're dreadfully mistaken.
People who pity often cop later resentment from the people they pity,
And wonder why.
Once or twice since my heart surgery,
I've been on the receiving end of someone's Pity.
I know it has been well-meant, but I've still felt abused,
And I emotionally withdraw from it.
My friends don't pity me, thank God;
They support me.
That's a very different thing.
When I find myself sinking in Pity for someone else's misfortune,
I find I'm reassuring myself that "I'm really a kind, caring person".
I'm pitying for my own self.
Why would I need that kind of reassurance?
Empathy is very different from Pity.
Empathy is Love invested;
There is evenness and engagement
One with the other.
If you can't avoid it in the moment,
Go ahead and pity your enemies,
But be aware;
Pity separates.
Never, ever pity your friends --
Love them;
Love unifies.
It is a ploy to wangle love out of an "other".
It doesn't work --
The best a self-pitier can hope for in return
Is Pity.
Giving Pity to a self-pitier
Is as good as giving blood to Dracula.
Pity sucks, too.
Pity is the false love of do-gooders,
Wet and sticky.
Pity doesn't nourish, or bring happiness to either party.
The pitier feels -- I don't know -- somehow sanctified,
While the Pitied one goes on drowning in even more ooze.
Out of Self-Pity we finish up back in self-pity,
Wallowing in a reality
In which we can feel so sorry for ourselves
That surely some saviour will notice we're drowning
And come to rescue us.
Self-Pity, and its bastard half-sibling, Self-Importance
Are Class-A Ir-responsibility.
A giver of Pity should be treated with the utmost suspicion.
Pity is sentiment
Bestowed by someone "higher" upon some poor unfortunate "lower" being.
There's nothing noble about Pity.
There is nothing of one's self given away in Pity,
And the person pitied is created as dis-abled.
And if you think they can't pick up on that, you're dreadfully mistaken.
People who pity often cop later resentment from the people they pity,
And wonder why.
Once or twice since my heart surgery,
I've been on the receiving end of someone's Pity.
I know it has been well-meant, but I've still felt abused,
And I emotionally withdraw from it.
My friends don't pity me, thank God;
They support me.
That's a very different thing.
When I find myself sinking in Pity for someone else's misfortune,
I find I'm reassuring myself that "I'm really a kind, caring person".
I'm pitying for my own self.
Why would I need that kind of reassurance?
Empathy is very different from Pity.
Empathy is Love invested;
There is evenness and engagement
One with the other.
If you can't avoid it in the moment,
Go ahead and pity your enemies,
But be aware;
Pity separates.
Never, ever pity your friends --
Love them;
Love unifies.
THE SEED UNSOWN
Did you hear the one about......
The seed that refused to leave the pod?
The baby who refused to leave the womb?
The 40-year-old who refused to leave kindergarten?
How many people do you know who've done 7 years of growing
And are just repeating that over and over again?
I know people like that, too;
In some ways, I'm one of them.
There are some things I do over and again,
Hoping that one day I'll get a different result.
The insanity of ego!
A seed that forgets its purpose
Refuses to drop to the ground and die
So that it might transform and grow into something far more beautiful
And flourish into its inherent destiny.
Dead seed is good only for chook food.
Our human mission, should we choose to accept it,
Is to find the right environment (starting from where we are is good),
Die to our seed-iness,
And be reborn.
I was once an observer at a protracted series of trials and hearings involving people I love dearly. Although it was a civil proceeding, I saw imprisonment all around; the litigants were all swathed in a protective coating of "rightness" that had become a prison of solitary confinement for each of them. Nobody won.
The seed that has come to love its seediness
Denies the possibility that it carries within its being;
It says "No" to life.
That is its "right".
Being human is being a seed
Whose purpose is to find the right soil,
(And if you're reading this, you've already found it!)
Cede its seed-ness,
Get on with the business of growing
And explore its potential. If you ain't growing, you're dying.
The seed that refused to leave the pod?
The baby who refused to leave the womb?
The 40-year-old who refused to leave kindergarten?
How many people do you know who've done 7 years of growing
And are just repeating that over and over again?
I know people like that, too;
In some ways, I'm one of them.
There are some things I do over and again,
Hoping that one day I'll get a different result.
The insanity of ego!
A seed that forgets its purpose
Refuses to drop to the ground and die
So that it might transform and grow into something far more beautiful
And flourish into its inherent destiny.
Dead seed is good only for chook food.
Our human mission, should we choose to accept it,
Is to find the right environment (starting from where we are is good),
Die to our seed-iness,
And be reborn.
I was once an observer at a protracted series of trials and hearings involving people I love dearly. Although it was a civil proceeding, I saw imprisonment all around; the litigants were all swathed in a protective coating of "rightness" that had become a prison of solitary confinement for each of them. Nobody won.
The seed that has come to love its seediness
Denies the possibility that it carries within its being;
It says "No" to life.
That is its "right".
Being human is being a seed
Whose purpose is to find the right soil,
(And if you're reading this, you've already found it!)
Cede its seed-ness,
Get on with the business of growing
And explore its potential. If you ain't growing, you're dying.
Monday, September 27, 2010
SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS
[Learned from observing a protracted civil court proceedings]
Guilt and Self-Pity
Go hand-in-hand to the altar
Of Self-Righteousness.
From Self-Righteousness,
Guilt goes on the offensive.
The viciousness of the assaults are directly proportional
To the depth of the Guilt they're covering up.
Guilt and Self-Pity
Go hand-in-hand to the altar
Of Self-Righteousness.
From Self-Righteousness,
Guilt goes on the offensive.
The viciousness of the assaults are directly proportional
To the depth of the Guilt they're covering up.
HERE NOW
Wanna get out of your mind?
Come here/now --
The only place mind cannot get to.
Be here/now,
For as long and as often as you wish.
Mind can only dwell on its own memories of what is past
Or its fantasies on what might yet come.
To be in Mind is to be walking around in a dream;
To be here Here and Now is to be wide awake.
When you catch yourself falling asleep
Into the dead past or the imagined future,
Simply bring yourself back to Here and Now.
Don't beat yourself up about it --
It may happen hundreds of times every day.
That's OK.
Simply come back.
There's no need to go off looking for what led you astray.
Every time we stop to ponder that which stops us
We're still stopped
In the past
Aren't we?
Come here/now --
The only place mind cannot get to.
Be here/now,
For as long and as often as you wish.
Mind can only dwell on its own memories of what is past
Or its fantasies on what might yet come.
To be in Mind is to be walking around in a dream;
To be here Here and Now is to be wide awake.
When you catch yourself falling asleep
Into the dead past or the imagined future,
Simply bring yourself back to Here and Now.
Don't beat yourself up about it --
It may happen hundreds of times every day.
That's OK.
Simply come back.
There's no need to go off looking for what led you astray.
Every time we stop to ponder that which stops us
We're still stopped
In the past
Aren't we?
FROM INSIDE THE SIN-BIN
I was brought up in a sternly "Us -v- Them" protestant christian ethos. Sin was the ultimate pitfall and, from my view of my parents' words and attitudes, all human beings except they and their fellow-Christian friends seemed to be inescapably sunk in sin up to their eyeballs. Temptation to sin lurked behind every second tree and in every dark thought-corner. It seemed that feelings of any sort other than anger and guilt were "sinful", and then anger was only legally available to my parents, and guilt was to be entirely my province. And I needed plenty of it because I was - inside and out - such a bad and sinful person.
Any act or omission to act that violated THE moral rules was a sin. Murder, theft, lying, wanting to hit my sister, being Roman Catholic -- all carried the same weight of painful punishment and eternal damnation from a humourless divine entity who'd never heard of the Grey Scale. This all-seeing God even knew what I was thinking and feeling, so thoughts and feelings that I had no control over were enough to get me busted for all time. And once the deed was done, in thought or in deed, that was it. I was gone for all money -- for eternity. Just being awake and alive was a source of continual stress and anxiety.
The only remedy seemed to be to swathe myself in guilt until punishment brought an end to it. Asking for forgiveness was never offered as an option, except in church on Sunday, and that, frankly, didn't seem to help much. I got very good at holding my breath under-guilt for days on end, since God was often away working. I had to wait until he got home on Thursday. (Thursday has never been my favourite day).
A NEW SPIN ON "SIN"
"Sin" -- the word originates from at least two separate sources that I know of, neither of them having anything to do with "wrongdoing". In ancient middle-eastern languages, "sin" was a voiceless consonant corresponding to "sh-sh-sh". The Hebrew root word for "sin" meant literally "to miss" or "to be absent".
To the ancient Greeks, "sin" was an archery term describing the distance between where the arrow landed on a target and the bullseye -- the distance by which the archer "missed".
The only "sin" is "missing"......
Judging separates us from our awareness of Godness.
In a lather of separation every day
We go looking for "missing",
And we manage to find it
Everywhere.
Judgment separates us from our self,
In judgment we miss the what-is of it;
Judgment is "missing" in action....
Mis-understanding
Mis-interpreting
Mis-fortune
Mis-matching
Mis-conduct
Mis-behaving
Mis- Be/Have-ing.
In the Book of Exodus, we hear about a Wilderness of Sin. It was a real place, just off the slopes of Mt.Sinai, where the Children of Israel got lost after leaving their slavery stint in Egypt. They missed a turnoff somewhere and found themselves in a desert. The food they'd brought with them ran out and water was scarce. But they survived on mannah, quail and an unseasonal heavy nigjhtly dew that "miraculously" appeared after Moses had a quiet word to "I Am". But I, too digress.....
Sin is "missing".
There once was a wise man whose King thought so highly of that he gave the monk a begging bowl of pure gold.
One evening the monk was engaged in his meditations, when a robber brandishing a sword burst in upon him and demanded the bowl. Without looking up. the monk said "It is in my cupboard over there. You are welcome to it." The robber, perplexed, retrieved the famous bowl and was about to leave when his curiosity got the better of him. He stopped, turned to the wise man and said, "Are you not going to lecture me on the evils of stealing? I am the best thief in the land; stealing has made me very rich." The monk paused his devotions long enough to say "That's fine. Keep stealing then. But be aware of what you're doing. Just be aware."
The robber shook his head incredulously and left.
The following evening, the old monk was just preparing for bed when the same robber burst in upon him, furious. "You have ruined me!" he yelled. "This evening I managed to break into the King's treasure chamber. There before me lay the wealth of the nation. I reached out to fill my bag when I remembered your words -- 'be aware'. I froze. I could not move. I used to be the best thief in the land, and now you have ruined me. I can no longer steal!" The monk looked at him a moment and gently repeated -- "Just be aware."
Sin is missing awareness, absent-mindedness.
Sin is simply not possible when we are present and aware.
To miss is to simply "not be here",
Being and acting without being present for it.
The only necessary virtue
Is to be fully alert.
There is nothing that needs to be changed;
All we need is to be here, now.
Guilt and repentance are part of the Sin Cycle --
Commit > Feel guilty > Repent > Feel "good" > Commit > Guilt >.....
Within that cycle no progress is possible.
Effort is not what is needed;
No need to be more, better or different.
Just be aware, and things simply start to drop away
All of their own accord.
Anything that doesn't drop
Still has value for you -- become aware of that.
In awareness, some possibilities are no longer required;
In awareness, other possibilities arise to take their place.
Any act or omission to act that violated THE moral rules was a sin. Murder, theft, lying, wanting to hit my sister, being Roman Catholic -- all carried the same weight of painful punishment and eternal damnation from a humourless divine entity who'd never heard of the Grey Scale. This all-seeing God even knew what I was thinking and feeling, so thoughts and feelings that I had no control over were enough to get me busted for all time. And once the deed was done, in thought or in deed, that was it. I was gone for all money -- for eternity. Just being awake and alive was a source of continual stress and anxiety.
The only remedy seemed to be to swathe myself in guilt until punishment brought an end to it. Asking for forgiveness was never offered as an option, except in church on Sunday, and that, frankly, didn't seem to help much. I got very good at holding my breath under-guilt for days on end, since God was often away working. I had to wait until he got home on Thursday. (Thursday has never been my favourite day).
A NEW SPIN ON "SIN"
"Sin" -- the word originates from at least two separate sources that I know of, neither of them having anything to do with "wrongdoing". In ancient middle-eastern languages, "sin" was a voiceless consonant corresponding to "sh-sh-sh". The Hebrew root word for "sin" meant literally "to miss" or "to be absent".
To the ancient Greeks, "sin" was an archery term describing the distance between where the arrow landed on a target and the bullseye -- the distance by which the archer "missed".
The only "sin" is "missing"......
- Missing awareness
- Missing truth
- Missing joy
- Missing power
Judging separates us from our awareness of Godness.
In a lather of separation every day
We go looking for "missing",
And we manage to find it
Everywhere.
Judgment separates us from our self,
In judgment we miss the what-is of it;
Judgment is "missing" in action....
Mis-understanding
Mis-interpreting
Mis-fortune
Mis-matching
Mis-conduct
Mis-behaving
Mis- Be/Have-ing.
In the Book of Exodus, we hear about a Wilderness of Sin. It was a real place, just off the slopes of Mt.Sinai, where the Children of Israel got lost after leaving their slavery stint in Egypt. They missed a turnoff somewhere and found themselves in a desert. The food they'd brought with them ran out and water was scarce. But they survived on mannah, quail and an unseasonal heavy nigjhtly dew that "miraculously" appeared after Moses had a quiet word to "I Am". But I, too digress.....
Sin is "missing".
There once was a wise man whose King thought so highly of that he gave the monk a begging bowl of pure gold.
One evening the monk was engaged in his meditations, when a robber brandishing a sword burst in upon him and demanded the bowl. Without looking up. the monk said "It is in my cupboard over there. You are welcome to it." The robber, perplexed, retrieved the famous bowl and was about to leave when his curiosity got the better of him. He stopped, turned to the wise man and said, "Are you not going to lecture me on the evils of stealing? I am the best thief in the land; stealing has made me very rich." The monk paused his devotions long enough to say "That's fine. Keep stealing then. But be aware of what you're doing. Just be aware."
The robber shook his head incredulously and left.
The following evening, the old monk was just preparing for bed when the same robber burst in upon him, furious. "You have ruined me!" he yelled. "This evening I managed to break into the King's treasure chamber. There before me lay the wealth of the nation. I reached out to fill my bag when I remembered your words -- 'be aware'. I froze. I could not move. I used to be the best thief in the land, and now you have ruined me. I can no longer steal!" The monk looked at him a moment and gently repeated -- "Just be aware."
Sin is missing awareness, absent-mindedness.
Sin is simply not possible when we are present and aware.
To miss is to simply "not be here",
Being and acting without being present for it.
The only necessary virtue
Is to be fully alert.
There is nothing that needs to be changed;
All we need is to be here, now.
Guilt and repentance are part of the Sin Cycle --
Commit > Feel guilty > Repent > Feel "good" > Commit > Guilt >.....
Within that cycle no progress is possible.
Effort is not what is needed;
No need to be more, better or different.
Just be aware, and things simply start to drop away
All of their own accord.
Anything that doesn't drop
Still has value for you -- become aware of that.
In awareness, some possibilities are no longer required;
In awareness, other possibilities arise to take their place.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
SOLVING PROBLEMS
Problems are created by Mind
To keep us entertained.
Like politicians, priests, and their functionaries,
Mind generates problems to make sure we stay focussed in Mind
And maintain Mind as supreme arbiter and authority of our life.
If we didn't Mind, there would be no problem.
Any time we "don't mind", we say "No problem."
Problems exist only in the Mind.
Outside of Mind there are no problems.
For Mind to survive itself, it will continue to create problems for you
To ensure that you continue to rely on your Mind.
Just when things are going along well in your life,
Problems arise.
That's no accident.
Your mind got bored and fearful
Of how well you were getting along without it.
Mind's message to you is always --
"Thou shalt have no other gods but ME:
Without ME, you will not survive."
Because Problems exist only in Mind,
They can only be dealt with in Mind.
Because Mind is finite,
Problems are finite (good news!)
And solutions to problems are also finite,
Always leading to further problems (bad news!)
Whenever you're beset by problems,
Remember.......
You are not The Problem,
The problem is not who or what you are;
You are a person that has a problem.
Suffering ceases the moment you stop I-dentifying-with.
You are not the contents of a cup;
You are not even the cup;
Think of yourself as the quality of the space
That makes way for and defines the shape of the inside and the outside of the cup
And cradles it in existence.
(You are actually more than that, too, but that will do for now).
Mind, and its stuff, is not all there is.......
There is much, much, much more.
Create a place, a space, a Context in which to hold the problem,
(eg. workingness, enoughness, ease-ness) -----
Any Context -- it doesn't matter --
A way of being for your problem to be in .........
When you click into the Space,
You'll find that The Problem is no longer all that there is;
There is more.
Now you simply have a problem,
Without getting emotionally caught up in it.
Identifying with your problem is blinding and binding you.
The view from inside a problem
Is too limited to get you out of it.
Click into the space outside,
Wait until you are free of the emotion,
Then engage with the what-is of the whole situation.
Do whatever needs to be done
Learn whatever is there to be learned,
And let the problem resolve itself.
To keep us entertained.
Like politicians, priests, and their functionaries,
Mind generates problems to make sure we stay focussed in Mind
And maintain Mind as supreme arbiter and authority of our life.
If we didn't Mind, there would be no problem.
Any time we "don't mind", we say "No problem."
Problems exist only in the Mind.
Outside of Mind there are no problems.
You might find it handy to re-member that
Whenever you need to create some space around your problems.
There is space available, always......
Infinite space.
For Mind to survive itself, it will continue to create problems for you
To ensure that you continue to rely on your Mind.
Just when things are going along well in your life,
Problems arise.
That's no accident.
Your mind got bored and fearful
Of how well you were getting along without it.
Mind's message to you is always --
"Thou shalt have no other gods but ME:
Without ME, you will not survive."
Because Problems exist only in Mind,
They can only be dealt with in Mind.
Because Mind is finite,
Problems are finite (good news!)
And solutions to problems are also finite,
Always leading to further problems (bad news!)
Whenever you're beset by problems,
Remember.......
You are not The Problem,
The problem is not who or what you are;
You are a person that has a problem.
Suffering ceases the moment you stop I-dentifying-with.
You are not the contents of a cup;
You are not even the cup;
Think of yourself as the quality of the space
That makes way for and defines the shape of the inside and the outside of the cup
And cradles it in existence.
(You are actually more than that, too, but that will do for now).
Mind, and its stuff, is not all there is.......
There is much, much, much more.
Create a place, a space, a Context in which to hold the problem,
(eg. workingness, enoughness, ease-ness) -----
Any Context -- it doesn't matter --
A way of being for your problem to be in .........
When you click into the Space,
You'll find that The Problem is no longer all that there is;
There is more.
Now you simply have a problem,
Without getting emotionally caught up in it.
Identifying with your problem is blinding and binding you.
The view from inside a problem
Is too limited to get you out of it.
Click into the space outside,
Wait until you are free of the emotion,
Then engage with the what-is of the whole situation.
Do whatever needs to be done
Learn whatever is there to be learned,
And let the problem resolve itself.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
SELF-PITY & COMPLAINT
The enemy
Is Self-Pity --
The other face of Self-Importance,
And Complaint --
Fear with the volume turned up.
Is Self-Pity --
The other face of Self-Importance,
And Complaint --
Fear with the volume turned up.
RESPONSIBILITY
Without blame,
I put myself
Wherever I am.
I am Cause in the matter.
I, and I alone am the author of my soul.
Here is Freedom
And Power in the matter.
I put myself
Wherever I am.
I am Cause in the matter.
I, and I alone am the author of my soul.
Here is Freedom
And Power in the matter.
SELFISHNESS AND GREED
Devoid of negative judgment,
Selfishness is going for what you want
And willingly paying the price;
Greed is going after a free lunch,
Looking to get something for nothing.
Both Selfishness and Greed
Stem from a fatal, unconscious choice,
Begun when we first felt the fear of Separation.
We reacted then, and still do now
By withhhoding our wellbeing,
By withhhoding our wellbeing,
And our Self.
Could such selfishness be the source of all crippling un-ease?
Is our greed for gratification depriving us of fulfilment"?
Surely we are much too grand to be solely our own.
Is our greed for gratification depriving us of fulfilment"?
Surely we are much too grand to be solely our own.
To be exclusive.
FINDING FAULT
In mind --
First
We separate;
Then
We find fault,
To justify to ourself
Our dis-appointment, hurt and ignorance.
Then we go looking for agreement
Within and without our self
Fom other dis-illusioned minds.
Out of Self-importance,
We wallow in self-pity and
Sympathy.
It takes integrity to stand apart from that,
And offer true support --
Empathy.
Look not to the supposed "faults",
But trace through the self-importance, disappointment and hurt
Upstream to the first cause --
The Separation.
First
We separate;
Then
We find fault,
To justify to ourself
Our dis-appointment, hurt and ignorance.
Then we go looking for agreement
Within and without our self
Fom other dis-illusioned minds.
Out of Self-importance,
We wallow in self-pity and
Sympathy.
It takes integrity to stand apart from that,
And offer true support --
Empathy.
Look not to the supposed "faults",
But trace through the self-importance, disappointment and hurt
Upstream to the first cause --
The Separation.
When the illusion of Separation is dissolved,
Fault disappears.
IMPECCABLE HONESTY
When you're faced with an intelligent question,
Impeccable honesty is your commitment
To open yourself to as much of the truth as you can stand
In humility and gratitude,
And from that space
Share a truth with others.
Impeccable honesty is your commitment
To open yourself to as much of the truth as you can stand
In humility and gratitude,
And from that space
Share a truth with others.
Friday, September 17, 2010
SOLITUDE
I used to call me "Gunner Barkla" ---
Always "gonna" do something, be somehwere
When I got a Round Tuit.
How about you?
We're always going-to ....... somewhere,
Other than here;
Sometime,
Other than now
Going-to Do ..... something else,
Going to Be ...... someone else.
What happened to here and now?
We're searching for Home,
But feel like we're moving away from it,
Until we stop searching for a moment,
And then we feel so close.
Home is within us,
Found when we stop searching for it
Else-where,
And simply Be
With ourselves,
Getting to know our selves
Alone.....
But not lonely.
Loneliness is self-imposed pain,
Dis-satisfaction with self.
Loneliness is rest-lessness, yearning for someone other
To fill a void
Of a not-knowing of our Self.
Loneliness is an emotional needy-ness.
When we come from neediness, we are headed for -- neediness.
Neediness creates its own emptiness
And withhold:
Interposed between Need and that which is needed
Lies a thought --"What-if I lose this?"
So just in case, we keep something in reserve.
Coming from Need, even when we get what we need,
We cannot fully receive it.
Solitude
Is mother's womb,
Silence, peace, tranquility,
Amidst clamour, turmoil and liveliness --
The whole of existence,
Vast, free, beautiful,
Filled with every available experience
To be felt, unfettered by the need to consider any "other".
When we surrender to solitude,
In our aloneness,
We find our self.
Aloneness is going out to meet adventure,
And Aloneness is coming home to rest.
Alone, we need no "other"
For all otherness lives within.
In solitude, "I am" is enough --
More than enough.
Alone in silence
We are home
At last!
Ah-h-h-h!
In pure solitude
I am, whole and complete.
The instant I reject any part of myself,
I switch from being al-one
To being lonely,
Incomplete,
Missing something,
Divided ---
Into myself, and the not-me I now yearn for from companionship.
In years gone by, not knowing any better,
I sought a return to one-ness through lovers;
Sometimes I got closeness.
Close, but still so far.
In closeness there was still separation.
She was still, and would always be
Ever a stranger.
Only with myself can I be
Not as a stranger.
In others I see parts of me reflected,
But only with myself
Can I be totally me.
Here I can relax,
Be at ease,
Be all at one
With all existence.
Only alone
Can I feel the heartbeat of the universe
Within.
If you do not yet feel at home with yourself,
If you are still going-to........ else-ness
You do not yet know who you are.
If you are not yet intimate with yourself,
How can you be intimate with the reflections of yourself
That show up as "others"?
If you cannot be with yourself,
And still need the distraction of otherness,
Do not be surprised to encounter loneliness and disappointment,
The consequences of separation from self.
If you cannot feel at home with yourself,
You are never going to be at home with any other,
While you can comfortably inhabit your skin
In solitude,
You will never be lonely.
Always "gonna" do something, be somehwere
When I got a Round Tuit.
How about you?
We're always going-to ....... somewhere,
Other than here;
Sometime,
Other than now
Going-to Do ..... something else,
Going to Be ...... someone else.
What happened to here and now?
We're searching for Home,
But feel like we're moving away from it,
Until we stop searching for a moment,
And then we feel so close.
Home is within us,
Found when we stop searching for it
Else-where,
And simply Be
With ourselves,
Getting to know our selves
Alone.....
But not lonely.
Loneliness is self-imposed pain,
Dis-satisfaction with self.
Loneliness is rest-lessness, yearning for someone other
To fill a void
Of a not-knowing of our Self.
Loneliness is an emotional needy-ness.
When we come from neediness, we are headed for -- neediness.
Neediness creates its own emptiness
And withhold:
Interposed between Need and that which is needed
Lies a thought --"What-if I lose this?"
So just in case, we keep something in reserve.
Coming from Need, even when we get what we need,
We cannot fully receive it.
Solitude
Is mother's womb,
Silence, peace, tranquility,
Amidst clamour, turmoil and liveliness --
The whole of existence,
Vast, free, beautiful,
Filled with every available experience
To be felt, unfettered by the need to consider any "other".
When we surrender to solitude,
In our aloneness,
We find our self.
Aloneness is going out to meet adventure,
And Aloneness is coming home to rest.
Alone, we need no "other"
For all otherness lives within.
In solitude, "I am" is enough --
More than enough.
Alone in silence
We are home
At last!
Ah-h-h-h!
In pure solitude
I am, whole and complete.
The instant I reject any part of myself,
I switch from being al-one
To being lonely,
Incomplete,
Missing something,
Divided ---
Into myself, and the not-me I now yearn for from companionship.
In years gone by, not knowing any better,
I sought a return to one-ness through lovers;
Sometimes I got closeness.
Close, but still so far.
In closeness there was still separation.
She was still, and would always be
Ever a stranger.
Only with myself can I be
Not as a stranger.
In others I see parts of me reflected,
But only with myself
Can I be totally me.
Here I can relax,
Be at ease,
Be all at one
With all existence.
Only alone
Can I feel the heartbeat of the universe
Within.
If you do not yet feel at home with yourself,
If you are still going-to........ else-ness
You do not yet know who you are.
If you are not yet intimate with yourself,
How can you be intimate with the reflections of yourself
That show up as "others"?
If you cannot be with yourself,
And still need the distraction of otherness,
Do not be surprised to encounter loneliness and disappointment,
The consequences of separation from self.
If you cannot feel at home with yourself,
You are never going to be at home with any other,
While you can comfortably inhabit your skin
In solitude,
You will never be lonely.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
EXPERIENCE
Our experiences are pre-determined,
Not by external events
But by the quality of our consciousness,
By the nature of our awareness and insight,
Which are both shaped by our point of view --
The point from which we choose to view......
A belief is a point of view,
An opinion is a point of view,
A concept is a point of view,
A value is a point of view,
A principle is a point of view.
We're never going to see anything differently,
Or experience anything differently,
Until we change our point of view....
Not because it's wrong,
But because it isn't the whole truth.
The whole truth begins to emerge
When we put together all the views,
From every point of view.
Then anything and everything
Becomes possible.
Not by external events
But by the quality of our consciousness,
By the nature of our awareness and insight,
Which are both shaped by our point of view --
The point from which we choose to view......
A belief is a point of view,
An opinion is a point of view,
A concept is a point of view,
A value is a point of view,
A principle is a point of view.
We're never going to see anything differently,
Or experience anything differently,
Until we change our point of view....
Not because it's wrong,
But because it isn't the whole truth.
The whole truth begins to emerge
When we put together all the views,
From every point of view.
Then anything and everything
Becomes possible.
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