WHOLENESS -- AND THE TREACHEROUS "THEREFORE"

We tend to equate health and peace with rightness and fulfillment. Simoultaneously we tend to equate dis-ease and suffering with failure.

Such a mindset also regards radical transformation and healing as some kind of achievement.

They are not.

Such things are an event of un-earned grace. If that sounds unfair to you, you have much to learn about the way life works. That is why we waste so much time and effort warring against war, suffering and disease, trying to create Health and Peace as "winners". Such a perspective is too narrow to be workable.

Health includes disease.

Peace includes war

Life includes death.

This is the paradox. Without one, there is no other. They are not counterpoles; they are the two side of the same coin.

When we approach each moment in wholeness and newness, we become less interested in comparing any one experience with any other, or any one person to any other. Each begins to show up as unique and complete in itself. That someone else does not take a step that seems obviously preferable to me, says nothing of that person's intrinsic worth. Not really. Or of mine for that matter.

The significance of your life or my life cannot be measured meaningfully in relation to anyone else's. Everyone and everything can only be truly acknowledged and appreciated in his/her/its own intrinsic wholeness. That means we have to go beyond trite comparisons and look into each "öther" as a unique experience to be explored on its own terms. That's a tough one to swallow. If that were true, though, it would mean that my life is no more or less worthwhile than Jesus Christ's. But maybe that's part of what he was trying to tell us..... don't be too hasty to judge.

At the age of 66, when I sometimes succumb to feelings of failure because I might have gone further...... when I feel that someone else has failed because he/she might have gone further, I know I am measuring life from a very narrow and invalid perspective. The way points ahead for me, but thankfully not neccessarily in a linear extension of where I have been and where I am now. I am still looking for new possibilities and the opportunity to take quantum leaps sideways. This does not deny or devalue where I have been or what I have become: I take all the experiences of that with me in gratitude and (in some cases) some pride.

To observe and experience life is one thing; to draw conclusions from all of that --- the treacherous "therefore" -- is quite something else altogether and, I think, misses the point of living. Transformation may lead to healing, and even to cure, but this is not always so and expecting it to be so is bound to cause anguish. To think that, in order to be healed one must be transformed, is reasonable, but far from valid. Such logical expectations narrow our relationship with life, undermining our capacity to fully live and realise each moment uncritically, just as it is.

I really tried pushing away some aspects of existence to attain another level of consciousness; the experiment was spectacularly unsuccessful. It devalued where I was, and where I had been. I found only anguish and pain in resistance, and I got stuck.

This is the greatest paradox of all -- in order to reach a state of Wholeness, I've had to take the path of Wholeness. Nothing wrong now. Nothing lacking now. Nothing that should be some other way. The deeper healing of our planet begins one person at a time with the only person I can heal -- me. I tried going to work on the problem, the disease. That didn't work. what is working is entering each moment with a fundamental realisation that .....

Just as we are

We are all ever

And already

Whole.

HAVING & BEING

HAVING & BEING

We are fortunate that the English language makes a clear distinction between having something, and being someone in particular. I notice that in Thai, the word "ben" covers both states ("I am happy", "I am able to be happy", and "I have happy" are all valid translations of "Pom ben suk", but when being in possession of something that is not-me is indicated, the Thais have a special pointer-word -- "mee", as in "Pom mee mah" -- "I have a dog" to indicate that there is some distinction between the possessor and what is possessed. Something you have is not what you are.

This would seem to be self-evident. I have a dog, I have car keys, I have a sore back. Fine. But none of these is who I am. If I were to suddenly announce to the neighbours "I am a dog", or "I am a car key", or "I am a sore back", one or two might initially agree, but if I kept it up, one of them would soon be calling for an ambulance.

But what makes the distinction so grey when it comes to feelings? Humans seem quite ready to I-dentify with a feeling they have, and even to regard this lunacy as normal. "I have sadness" becomes "I am sad.". "I have depression" becomes "I am depressed" with remarkable rapidity. "I have anxiety" turns into "I am anxious". Suddenly it has become terribly personal: the Being has become its creation. The parent has become the child. The problem has taken over; the costume is wearing the actor; the creator is obscured.

Often in counselling one of my first tasks is to remind the sufferer that there is a difference between the person and the problem. Who-you-are is the person who HAS the car keys, the spectacles, the headache, the suffering. But none of those things is who you are. You - the person - and what you have are quite separate. When you get that separation, you get some space, some elbow-room, to deal with the problem.

You are that which experiences. You have experiences, but they need not be who you are, unless you insist upon it. "I am............. (whatever you say you are)."

When you've had enough of an experience, remember who you are, and what you are not.

Be-Have........

DOING & BEING

DOING & BEING -- A dialogue with the Buddha

" You sit so serenely, eyes downcast and arms at rest in gentle acceptance. What are you doing?

"Nothing."

"Are you not sitting? Are you not breathing? Are you not digesting your food?"

"That is my body doing what it needs to do, what it knows well how to do all by itself. No need for me to get involved. I am doing nothing."

"You are meditating?"

"My mind is meditating. 'I am' is doing nothing. I am being what I am. Just so"

"But surely you cannot live your whole life not-doing.....?"

"When there is something to do, do it and be what you need to be in order to get it done. When the task is finished, stop your Doing and go back to Being All."

And a deeper silence fell.

FRIENDS

Friends -- fake or real?

FAKE: They go along with your lies if you go along with theirs.
REAL: Give it to you straight, and expect the same from you.

FAKE: Tell their truth, then avoid responsibility by saying "I was only joking".
REAL: Cop to their words, and the intent behind them.

FAKE: Mess up and cover up.
REAL: Mess up and go responsible for the damage they've caused. They clean up their messes.

FAKE: Pardon you when you fuck up.
REAL: Forgive you when you fuck up. They call it, then let it go

FAKE: Bail you out of gaol and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL: Sit next to you in gaol and say "Damn, we fucked up."

FAKE: Never see you cry.
REAL: Cry with you.

FAKE: Know a few things about you.
REAL: Could write a book about you with direct quotes.

FAKE: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL: Will be by your side when the times are tough, just in case.

FAKE: Will knock on your front door.
REAL: Will walk in the back door and say "It's only me!"

FAKE: Will agree with the person who talks shit about you.
REAL: Will give your critics no energy at all.

FAKE: Give you agreement.
REAL: Give you a second opinion, and support you anyway.

If you have at least at least 5 such Real Friends, you are richly blessed, but you already know that, don't you?

YOUR RIGHTS

Your rights end where another's begin. My rights end where yours begin.

It could be said that "rights" are not something we have, unless they are given. You may have right-of-way in traffic, but if someone on your left doesn't give it you, you don't have it.

In the past, kings had rights; priests had rights -- so did their mates. But ordinary "commoners" didn't have rights. The hoi-polloi had to be dragged kicking and screaming to the table to get them to give rights to people like you and me. And it was a milestone in political and social history when we got them.

The problem with anything given is that it can be taken away again. Anything that you give to yourself can never be taken from you without your permission.

It could also be said that everything is available to us, by right of being.

We have every right, and we have no right.........that's what-is. Does it matter? Only if there's something we want to be "right" about. Do you have to be right, or would you rather be happy?

Perhaps if we worried a little less about our rights, and got on with the business of enjoying what we have.


Over to you..........

THE ONLY CRIME......

The only crime is Theft.

Theft is the taking of something that is not willingly given.

Murder is the theft of life. Kidnap is the theft of liberty. Abuse is the theft of self-esteem and dignity, amongst other things.

Theft disempowers the thief -- always. It only ever disempowers the "victim" if he/she gives consent to the disempowerment.

A Japanese master was meditating late one evening when a thief stole into his house, brandishing his sword. He threatened to kill the master unless he gave him all his valuables. "Put up your sword," the master said calmly, "you may hurt yourself. My purse is over there on the sideboard; help yourself, but please leave me some money for my rent tomorrow."

Astonished, the thief did as he was bidden and turned for the door. "Don't forget to say 'thank you' ", prompted the master. The thief mumbled his thanks, and left.

The next day the village was buzzing -- several people had been robbed. When the master appeared, they asked him if he, too, had been robbed. "Why, no," replied the master. "I had a visitor; he was a little careless with his sword, but he seemed pleasant enough. We exchanged some words, I gave him some money, he thanked me and left."

The master chose not to be robbed. He chose not to be a victim.


I don't know if I could yet be that detached, but I get the point.

ANGER

Anger is Complaint -- with the volume turned up.

AN IDEA WHOSE TIME HAS COME

In a book titled "The Hundredth Monkey", animal behaviour researchers on a remote island off Japan were observing a tribe of monkeys who spent some time each day picking up coconuts off the beach, cracking them open on a rock and and eating them. One day a female monkey was observed to pick up a coconut, crack it on a rock, begin to eat it but accidentally dropped it into the water. She picked it up again and discovered that the water had washed the sand off the coconut. She picked up another piece, dipped it into the water, and ate it, free of sand. Within a week, several of the other monkeys in the tribe had adopted the new practice of washing the sand off the coconuts before eating them.

Remarkable behaviour in itself. But of even more interest was the fact that researchers in other areas throughout the tropics began to report the same behaviour in monkeys they were observing. But there had been no chance whatever of any contact between the different groups of monkeys. It appeared that washing sand off the coconuts was an idea whose time had come.

Perhaps the same thing happened with ideas like "fire" and "wheel" -- that they arose at around the same time in several places around the globe.

Is it possible that You are An Idea Whose Time Has Come?

FUEL PRICES

The genius of spin who coined the term "weekly discount cycle" should be paid a whopping royalty by the oil companies for taking the heat off them. My perception is that we have a Weekly Surcharge Cycle -- 5 days of surcharge, 2 days of not-so-hefty pricing.

Whilst on the subject of fuel, I have a question that none of the motoring bodies seriously asks -- why is diesel fuel so expensive? I was brought up to believe (in the good old days when diesel was considerably cheaper than petrol) that diesel required less refinement to produce, which accounted for its cheaper price.

What happened?

ALL FOR NOTHING

ALL (F)OR NOTHING



There’s nothing to get – and I hope you get it.
Colin Hayes


There once was a man who hated the sound of his own footsteps and the sight of his own shadow. He hit on a plan: he would run away from them. So he ran, and he ran, and he ran….but still his footsteps stayed there and his shadow followed him close behind. So he decided to run faster in order to get away from them. He ran faster, and faster, and faster…but still his footsteps were there and his shadow stuck by him. Day after day, week after week, year after year, he ran faster and faster, but still his footsteps and his shadow dogged him.

One day he dropped dead, which was a pity

Because all he had ever needed to do was –

Step into the shade

And

Sit down
Colin Hayes


When I first went into business, my partner and I decided to be “Generalists”. It came from a realisation that, in a world of increasing specialisation, experts were getting to know more and more about less and less. I figured they’d soon know everything about nothing, and that was not for me. I was happy to know less and less about more and more, even if l I finished up knowing nothing about everything. “I” considers himself to have been remarkably successful.

When you give up everything, you get it all.

There are two ways to get everything. One is to get something, then hang on to that while you get something else, then something else, and so on ad infinitum. That's what most of us do. In our search for satisfaction we grasp for more, for bigger, for better.The only problems with this plan are -- 1) That we keep dropping things we've got while reaching for something else; and 2) We realise we're not going to live long enough to get it all. So, in the face of the dwindling possibility of ultimate satisfaction we settle for gratification.

There is another way -- to give up everything until you have nothing. Nothing is a codename for infinite possibility. When you have Nothing, there is infinite space for whatever you need to show up, whenever you need it and you can be serenely content while you're not at it. That sounds to me like Abundance.

It's a paradox isn't it? To get whatever you want, you have to give up what you've got.

We're relucatant to do that because we believe in Scarcity and Lack. We're emotionally attached to the idea of a limited universe.

There's a very good reason why it won't work -- WANT. We think that if we don't want something, we won't get it. We think that the harder we want something, the more likely we are to get it. Could it be that the reverse is true? Could it be that the Wanting is the problem? Could it be that the Wanting becomes so addictive that it becomes an end unto itself? We want the Wanting, and that's what we've got? We never think to remove the Wanting, remove the desire, and create space for whatever to show up.

We say "It's either all or nothing", and we believe in that, as if the two ideas are mutually exclusive. But what if they're not? What if "All" and "Nothing" are two perceptions of the same thing -- unlimited possibility?

So let me re-state the paradox -- To get what you want you must give it all up, including the wanting.

And the rich young ruler went away disappointed (remember the one about a camel getting through the "eye of the needle"?)

BLAME or RESPONSIBILITY

Blame implies the existence of a conscious intent.

Responsibility implies involvement.

Blame is assigned to someone/thing else. Even when I declare "I blame myself", there is a Blamer and a Blamed -- probably "I" and "Me". It is a weapon of punishment and control.

Blame is an attempt to avoid responsibility.

Responsibility is something you accept and creatively engage with.

Blame is a one-way, dead-end cul-de-sac to anger and depression.

Responsibility is an open freeway to freedom.

BELIEFS

Beliefs are bridges over what you don't know.

Every belief is based on no direct experience.

When you know something from direct experience, belief is no longer necessary.

Living according to beliefs (P.S. they're not even yours, you know --- you adopted them Nth-hand from others) is like going to a lavish restaurant and eating the menu instead of the meal.

39 THINGS I'VE LEARNT THE HARD WAY (and still counting)

* There is no free lunch.

* It's all an illusion; we pretend it's real until we get carried away by our own pretense.

* Whatever we resist persists.

* My resentments cost me my freedom. I can't have both.

* A fool and my money are soon elected.

* We can choose our friends, but not our rellies. There is a reason for that.

* Good communication isn't hard: there are only 3 rules:-

1. Say what is.
2. Put it where it is (ie. in a context)
3. Engage the listener.
   

* Never lick either a steak knife or the lid of a can you've just opened.

* Anyone who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter cannot be trusted. Pay attention.

* God has a sense of humour.

* God has no sense of humour. She takes you very literally at your word.

* When people say "I was only joking", they were telling you their truth: they just don't want to own up to it.

* Existence is an infinity of "This and that......and...." No possibility is excluded. Nothing is judged.

"Either this.........or that......." is an artifice created by the human mind that just wants to be right about its concepts, beliefs, opinions and conclusions.

* The purpose of life is life itself, just as it is.

* Your face and body after age 20 are all your own work.

* Keep trying new things. The Ark was built by a lone amateur. The Titanic was built by a bunch of highly qualified pros.

* There is no meaning -- we make that up. And it doesn't mean anything that it doesn't mean anything.

* A victim's life doesn't work, but most people take it up as a lifetime occupation.

* What is -- is. What ain't -- ain't. Everything else is just so much blah-blah-blah. Most people think the blah-blah-blah is somehow important.

* When "what-is" becomes more important than "what-ain't", suffering ceases.

* The only cause of suffering is addiction.

* This, too, will pass.

* There are no limits to the human capacity for stupidity.

* Given enough time and space, everything comes back to now/here.

* Never take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

* What your life is about is up to you. Quit looking elsewhere for "the answer".

* "The answer" is you, and your experience right now. You just forgot what the question was.

* Never, ever, ever, say anything to a woman that even remotely hints that she might be pregnant, unless you can actually see a baby emerging from her at that moment.

* It's all about Balance. Nature balances itself.

* There are consequences to everything, including every attempt to manipulate the consequences.

* The more things change, the more they stay the same.

* When something changes, it's component elements remain the same; the same shit just got moved around a bit, that's all. We don't need change; we need transformation.

* Women are mean and men are stupid.

* Boys.....never, ever hit a girl. No matter how painfully they taunt you, girls have universal moral immunity, and they know it.

* There is a universe of difference between Knowledge and Wisdom, Sympathy and Empathy, Quitting and Surrender, Believing and Knowing.

* A judge called Pilate asked one of his prisoners "You talk about Truth; what is Truth?" The other bloke just looked at him, without a flicker of attitude. Pilate was left carrying his own baggage. He couldn't handle it.

* The longer the explanation, the bigger the lie.

* My emotions are my responsibility, no-one else's. Your feelings are yours; share them by all means, but don't dump them on anyone else.

* What others think of me is none of my business.

MIRACLES?

Albert Einstein is quoted as saying "There are only two ways to live your life: one is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."

I find both to be true -- Everything is a miracle, AND nothing is a miracle.

The best way I can explain this paradox is by saying "Everything is a miracle; and it doesn't mean anything that everything is a miracle -- there's nothing miraculous about that".

Seeing everything as a miracle returns me to my childhood, when everything was indeed fresh, and new and a constant source of wonder and awe, proper subjects for an insatiable curiosity and quest for experience. To be curious for experience is to know the heart of God. No one thing is any more or less important than any other. It's all a miracle.

And none of it is a miracle. It is what it is -- life. The purpose of life is life itself. If none of it is miraculous or important, then we cannot get hooked up on it. We are free. We can move on in gratitude. When we get hooked up in any way, we hit the pause button on life. And it's OK to experience that, too.

The great thing about this life is that we cannot fail. It's not an exam to be passed -- it's an experience to be had. An un-judged experience of Now is the timeless Prize.

YOU ARE WHAT YOU RESIST

Am I missing something?

This from Amanda Blair's column in yesterday's Adelaide Sunday Mail headlined "BIAS CUTS BOTH WAYS" --

.......52 year-old doctor, Tracie O'Keefe. At 15, as a young male, she began taking hormones and at 21 she had gender reassignment surgery.
Tracie had always known she was female, but nature had dished out the wrong set of genitals.
Some 30 years later she is living with her long term partner, Katrina Fox in a lesbian relationship....."

Oh hello!?? Now that is having a bet each way.

But I digress.....

Columnist Amanda went on to report Tracie's bitch about being discriminated against by the organizers of a function for "lesbian raised females" who've refused her admission on the grounds that the function was only for lesbians raised as females from birth. Amanda went on to express surprise that people who had experienced so much discrimination in their lives should themselves turn out to be arch discriminators.

Which planet did this lady just arrive from?

I don't remember now who introduced me to this concept, but I call it the Topdog/Underdog syndrome. In any social interaction, the chances are better than even that one party will assume the position of Topdog ("I'm doing this for your own good!"); and the other will assume the posture of Underdog ("Yes sir, thank you sir, three bags full sir"). Then will come a time when the Underdog becomes Topdog, either with that person or with someone else. When that happens, watch that Underdog become a meaner, more savage, devious Topdog than his/her previous tormentors ever were!! Listen around you. It's going on all the time. Haven't you ever looked at someone whose family you know and noticed "She does her mother better than her mother!"

There are many unalterable Laws of Life in this weird
realm we live in. Here are three of them --

• What you resist -- persists
• You BECOME what you resist
• You already ARE what you resist, and what you resist will keep showing up in your face until you say "yes" to your ownership of it.

But we don't cop to it. We're afraid that, by saying "Yes, I am that way sometimes", we'll become the victim of it. The reverse is true. By denying it, we're perpetuating it and the dominance of it over out well-being. By saying "yes" to what we don't like, we give ourselves freedom to choose -- we give ourselves author-ity in the matter.

EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENTS

FEAR

Fear is an emotional reaction to a perceived departure from your emotional attachment to the way you think things ought to be. The severity of the attachment determines the debilitating severity of the resulting Fear.

ANGER

Complaint, with the volume turned up.

An extreme emotional attachment to the way you think things ought to be, and a reactive resistance to your perception of a departure from that.

REMORSE

An emotional attachment to the way you think you ought to be, and a reactive awareness of your departure from that ideal.

-------------------

Because these conditions were never reasoned into in the first place, they cannot be reasoned out of. The way out is intuitive/emotional. This is not about change: this is about transformation.

A goose was once raised in a large bottle. As it grew, however, it became too large for the bottle. Question:- How do you get the goose out, without damaging either the goose or the bottle? Answer:- The goose is out. It was never in in the first place -- that was a lie.

For peace of no-mind, all attachments must be dropped. Let 'em go (and don't get attached to getting unattached!)

DEFINITION & INFINITION

When we define something we give it boundaries and limits, so that it will fit into a pigeonhole of "understanding".

When a boundary is drawn around anything, we are then able to discriminate between that which "it is" and that which "it is not". Discrimination is a comfort to the scared Mind, ever fearful of not-knowing and not-being-in-control. An illusion of Certainty arises from the inevitable judging of Right from Wrong, Good from Bad, Safe from Dangerous.

The end results are Polarity, Position-ality and Right-eousness. Our growth has got stuck in an endless loop of feedback.

Infinition, on the other hand, is the antithesis of Definition. There are no boundaries, no limits. No pigeonholes, no "understanding". Infinition opens to the possibility of Wisdom. Infinition is satisfied to experience the experience, rather than waste time trying to understand it. e.g. As a lad, I could have read and understood all the books in the world about Balance, but I still would not have been able to ride a bike. To do that, I had to get on it and go for a ride. To live life, all you have to do is get on and go for the ride. Experiencing is the prize; understanding is the booby-prize. That is Wisdom

In Infinition, there is no judgmental discrimination: only simple Awareness. Innocence (I-know- sense). No criticism; nothing to get defensive about. There is Openness to Possibiility.

Infinition is a context. It allows Definition to exist -- unmolested. The Infinite is always greater than the Finite.

OPINIONS

We all have opinions on just about everything; and we treasure those opinions more highly than life itself.

Do you want to know how important your opinions really are? Here is a simple test you can do to find out.......

.......One night, preferably moonless, go to a secluded place in the open, look up at the stars, and give them your opinions on anything and everything. Really put them out there! Go for broke (hence the advice to go somewhere isolated, otherwise the neighbours might call 000.)

Give it all you've got -- loud and passionate.

When you're finally done, watch very carefully and observe how much the universe around you moves as a result of your opinions.

Get the message.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

And it is also true that there is a magic about you for which the universe will move.

But it doesn't lie anywhere near your beliefs, concepts or opinions -- or anyone else's either.

GROUPS

Selfishness prevails over altruism within any group.

But altruistic groups, sooner or later, prevail over selfish groups.

Everything else is just so much opinion.

HAPPINESS

Happiness is that which remains after suffering is dropped. Happiness is the absence of Unhappiness.

Like the sun on a cloudy day, Happiness may be obscured from time to time, but it never goes away. It is available, whenever we're ready to change our point of view.

Why are we so reluctant to drop our suffering and experience happiness? What is the payoff supposed to be for withholding from our own happiness and wellbeing?

Hmmmmm?

Who do we think we're controlling by being unhappy?

Sit on that and ponder awhile.