- Exposure -- Open yourself to new ideas; you never know where your possibilities are hiding in disguise.
- Imitation -- Take it for a test-drive. You didn't learn to swim by thinking about it; sooner or later you had to jump into the water.
- Encouragement -- Be your own best friend. Listen and support.
- Repetition -- Old habits have an inertia that resists changes in direction. Patiently exert gentle pressure on the rudder until the new learning takes over.
- Refinement -- Dying of boredom is not possible unless you insist upon it. There is always more. When you get to the horizon, there will always be further for you to see and explore.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
FIVE STAGES OF LEARNING
ATTITUDE
Attitude is a posture or position
That has been assumed
To serve a purpose.
If I may use a sailing analogy.....
Attitude is set and the the angle at which you set your sails.
When you watch a regatta,
You'll see boats going in all directions.
But the wind is blowing from only one quarter......
Each skipper is drawing on his experience
To make the most out of the conditions,
By plotting a course and trimming the sails.
Is your present attitude blowing you off your course,
Or is it getting you where you want to go?
That has been assumed
To serve a purpose.
If I may use a sailing analogy.....
Attitude is set and the the angle at which you set your sails.
When you watch a regatta,
You'll see boats going in all directions.
But the wind is blowing from only one quarter......
Each skipper is drawing on his experience
To make the most out of the conditions,
By plotting a course and trimming the sails.
Is your present attitude blowing you off your course,
Or is it getting you where you want to go?
LIFE ECHOES
What you send out, comes back.
What you sow, you reap.
What you give, you get.
What you see in others exists in you.
What you are doing to others, is being done to you
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
IF YOU KNEW YOU COULDN'T FAIL........
What great thing would you attempt today
If you positively KNEW you couldn't possibly fail?
Well, any experiment whose purpose is to "to see how it turns out"
Cannot fail.
It will always turn out.
The ball is in your court.
WHY WE JOIN CULTS....
Well, the obvious answer is "for the experience of it".
Nothing wrong with that.
But I have to ask --
What poverty lies behind the hunger that "joining" something gratifies?
That is not being experienced as being sufficiently met.
There is a sensed emotional. intellectual, or spiritual vacuum
That mind demands it be allowed to fill.
From the point of view of anyone "outside",
Insiders seem to be under the spell of some level of insanity:
To an "insider", his/her actions and environment represent the ultimate "sanity"
And it is those outside who are "evil" and in need of a reality check.
Well, that's how the human mind works, isn't it? --
"They're wrong, so I must be right, "
No matter which side of the fence we stand.
Sooner or later, however,
No matter how certain we become,
There are just some days when we wake up disquieted.
Perhaps we've had an odd dream, or maybe we just can't settle down to a deep sleep.
"What's wrong?" is our first reaction (a curious assumption in itself, don't you think?);
Later we get to wondering "What is this all about?
We're simply being reminded of a deeper quest churning away in the background of our awareness --
A search for meaning in life,
And for some kind of transcendence.
These reminder calls seem to happen more frequently and powerfully
In times of upheaval, unrest, crisis or during periods of physical or mental illness (dis-ease).
When such times of upheaval become epidemic,
Religions and -isms get a sudden boost of interest,
Especially those more pentecostally flavoured groups
That tap into what sociologist Richard Ofshe called
"The market for psychological perfection."
Ofshe goes on to point out that
"Anyone can start a religion;
All it takes is charisma and a modicum of sense."
Stallholders at the spiritual hype-market
Appeal to people's frightened hunger for Acceptance and Meaning.
Anyone who claims to have "The Answer" and promises a regular smile and hug from enough acolytes
Is bound to get a good following.
There's a lot of justified frustration out there with the more traditional religions,
But what the new breed of spiritual Macca's are offering
Is high on sugar and spice,
And almost totally devoid of nourishment.
We're encountering a religious right of spiritual bullemics.
Lost people like to feel they've come home.
If you can lay on a reasonably regular spiritual "high"
That most people do not feel in ordinary daily life,
You've go it made. You'll get the vulnerable hooked on the intensity of a dodgy experience and, hey presto!
They'll follow you to hell.
Every charismatic religious leader
Offers some kind of conduit to the cosmos,
Feeding off a pandemic of reluctance
To follow Jeshua ben Joseph's frustrated admonition
"For Christ's sake, heal yourselves!"
Here's a bottom line for you --
It takes balls to strike out on your own --
Ask every pilgrim who ever went off in search for himself.
There will always be someone to offer a short cut to heaven,
And more than enough suckers to sign over their freedom
In the name of "salvation".
Salvation from what?
Pray tell.
The lack of something we're too lazy to provide for our self?
Nothing wrong with that.
But I have to ask --
What poverty lies behind the hunger that "joining" something gratifies?
Support?
Interaction skills?
Inner growth?
Belonging?
Sensation?
Intimate connection?
Acceptance?
Risk and challenge?
Meaning?
Autonomy?
Each one is a legitimate human need,That is not being experienced as being sufficiently met.
There is a sensed emotional. intellectual, or spiritual vacuum
That mind demands it be allowed to fill.
From the point of view of anyone "outside",
Insiders seem to be under the spell of some level of insanity:
To an "insider", his/her actions and environment represent the ultimate "sanity"
And it is those outside who are "evil" and in need of a reality check.
Well, that's how the human mind works, isn't it? --
"They're wrong, so I must be right, "
No matter which side of the fence we stand.
Sooner or later, however,
No matter how certain we become,
There are just some days when we wake up disquieted.
Perhaps we've had an odd dream, or maybe we just can't settle down to a deep sleep.
"What's wrong?" is our first reaction (a curious assumption in itself, don't you think?);
Later we get to wondering "What is this all about?
We're simply being reminded of a deeper quest churning away in the background of our awareness --
A search for meaning in life,
And for some kind of transcendence.
These reminder calls seem to happen more frequently and powerfully
In times of upheaval, unrest, crisis or during periods of physical or mental illness (dis-ease).
When such times of upheaval become epidemic,
Religions and -isms get a sudden boost of interest,
Especially those more pentecostally flavoured groups
That tap into what sociologist Richard Ofshe called
"The market for psychological perfection."
Ofshe goes on to point out that
"Anyone can start a religion;
All it takes is charisma and a modicum of sense."
Stallholders at the spiritual hype-market
Appeal to people's frightened hunger for Acceptance and Meaning.
Anyone who claims to have "The Answer" and promises a regular smile and hug from enough acolytes
Is bound to get a good following.
There's a lot of justified frustration out there with the more traditional religions,
But what the new breed of spiritual Macca's are offering
Is high on sugar and spice,
And almost totally devoid of nourishment.
We're encountering a religious right of spiritual bullemics.
Lost people like to feel they've come home.
If you can lay on a reasonably regular spiritual "high"
That most people do not feel in ordinary daily life,
You've go it made. You'll get the vulnerable hooked on the intensity of a dodgy experience and, hey presto!
They'll follow you to hell.
Every charismatic religious leader
Offers some kind of conduit to the cosmos,
Feeding off a pandemic of reluctance
To follow Jeshua ben Joseph's frustrated admonition
"For Christ's sake, heal yourselves!"
Here's a bottom line for you --
In any situation we flee to out of Neediness
We lose
Our freedom and integrity.
Neediness does not breed Fulfilment.
It takes balls to strike out on your own --
Ask every pilgrim who ever went off in search for himself.
There will always be someone to offer a short cut to heaven,
And more than enough suckers to sign over their freedom
In the name of "salvation".
Salvation from what?
Pray tell.
The lack of something we're too lazy to provide for our self?
IT SEEMS A BIT OF A WASTE.......
It seems to me to be a bit of a waste
To say "Yes" to emodiment on this plane-t,
Only to spend the whole of our life after that
Saying "No".
So we got one helluva fright?
Get over it.
Sooner or later Death comes a-calling
And won't take "No" for an answer.
We began with a "Yes", and we go out with a "Yes";
Maybe a few more "Yeses" in between
Would make the journey more fun?
What do you reckon?
To say "Yes" to emodiment on this plane-t,
Only to spend the whole of our life after that
Saying "No".
So we got one helluva fright?
Get over it.
Sooner or later Death comes a-calling
And won't take "No" for an answer.
We began with a "Yes", and we go out with a "Yes";
Maybe a few more "Yeses" in between
Would make the journey more fun?
What do you reckon?
SOLVING PROBLEMS
The happiest and the unhappiest people I know
All have problems.
The happiest ones seem to know how to engage with their challenges;
The unhappy ones don't.
It could be said that one measure of our happiness
Lies in the ratio between how much we see ourselves as having problems
And how much we feel our problems have us.
Unhappy people don't have problems as much as
Their problems have them.
One of the main reasons for this impotence is
That we don't know what "the problem" really is;
We're victimised by what we don't know.
Most problems, be they social. marital, financial or otherwise,
Are the visible symptoms of deeper difficulties.
Tips that Work for Me
All have problems.
The happiest ones seem to know how to engage with their challenges;
The unhappy ones don't.
It could be said that one measure of our happiness
Lies in the ratio between how much we see ourselves as having problems
And how much we feel our problems have us.
Unhappy people don't have problems as much as
Their problems have them.
One of the main reasons for this impotence is
That we don't know what "the problem" really is;
We're victimised by what we don't know.
Most problems, be they social. marital, financial or otherwise,
Are the visible symptoms of deeper difficulties.
Tips that Work for Me
- Define your problem clearly on paper.
- List the obstacles standing in the way.
- Take time to explore what the deeper underlying difficulties might be at other levels of your being. Unless you tackle the real causes, you will be living your version of "Groundhog Day".
- Deliberately open your mind to let inspiration from other sources reach you. This is a bit like searching the internet for inspiration, rather than relying merely on files already stored on your computer for a solution. Your mind is a limited resource.
- List any people and idea sources that might help you solve your problem. Remain open to alternative, non-traditional ways of engaging with it. Are there other logically unconnected disciplines or technologies that may have a good idea or two that may work in this context?
- List as many possible courses of action that occur to you, no matter how implausible some of them may seem. Censor nothing at this point, and take your time for less logical ideas to pop.
- Visualise possible results -- including best- and worse-case scenarios -- for each course of action. Allow more possible courses to suggest themselves.
- Choose a course of action that appeals to you, and then pursue it. Adapt and incorporate anything that enhances your project from other alternatives you've considered. Have your plan, and be prepared to adapt. Stay with your action plan long enough for it to work, or for it to prove that it's not going to do the trick. If it finally doesn't work, do this exercise again in the light of what you've learned so far, and choose another.
BY THEIR CONVERSATIONS SHALL YE KNOW THEM.......
Small minds complain -- about their lot and their problems (sometimes disguised as talking about "others").
Average minds gossip -- about events and other people, as it they know what they're talking about.
Great minds share -- possibilities.
Average minds gossip -- about events and other people, as it they know what they're talking about.
Great minds share -- possibilities.
A MESSAGE TO MY GRANDCHILDREN
Following a spectacular concert given by a renowned classical pianist,
The green room backstage was awash with the usual blue-rinse set
Eager to touch the hem of the accomplished and famous.
One dowager began to gush over the pianist --
"Oh, I would so LOVE to be able to play like you!! I would do anything!!"
The pianist looked at her kindly for a moment, as if making up her mind.
Then she quietly said into her ear,
"No, my dear, you wouldn't. You'd have to say 'No' to many of the things you now enjoy. You'd have to practice for 8 hours every day, live most of your life out of suitcases in hotel rooms, venture into strange places when you least feel like it........."
Her voice tailed off.
The society lady got the message.
If you want your life to be a symphony,
You have to do the scales.
Raw talent may get you through the door,
But it's your responsibility to develop your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual capacity
To shape it into something that will effectively express what you want to put out there.
No scales -- no concerts.
A CHILD LEARNS -- Anonymous
If a child lives with criticism,
he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,
he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule,
he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame,
he learns to feel guilt.
If a child lives with tolerance,
he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement,
he learns confidence.
If a child lives with fairness,
he learns justice.
If a child lives with security,
he learns to trust.
If a child lives with approval,
he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
he learns to see the love in the world.
he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,
he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule,
he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame,
he learns to feel guilt.
If a child lives with tolerance,
he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement,
he learns confidence.
If a child lives with fairness,
he learns justice.
If a child lives with security,
he learns to trust.
If a child lives with approval,
he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
he learns to see the love in the world.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
FAILURE
Failure, as an experience, can be transformative.
But I get really impatient with people
Who insist upon it and recommend it
As the only way to live.
I've done that.
It sucked.
But I get really impatient with people
Who insist upon it and recommend it
As the only way to live.
I've done that.
It sucked.
TALKING FOR TOMORROW
I bend an ear to the words I say
And keep them tender and sweet,
Because I never know today
Which ones I may have to eat.
And keep them tender and sweet,
Because I never know today
Which ones I may have to eat.
LISTEN
A good listener is welcome at any party,
And after a while, he knows a lot more
Than those who monopolised the conversation.
And after a while, he knows a lot more
Than those who monopolised the conversation.
HOW TO PICK AN EVOLVING HUMAN BEING (from a Lost Cause)
- A Lost Cause says "Nobody knows". An Evolver says "Let's find out."
- When an Evolver makes a mistake, he says "I got it wrong; got it!". A Lost Cause says "It wasn't my fault."
- An Evolver says "Thank you" whatever happens; he knows how luck works. A Lost Cause blames his bad luck, whatever happens. He thinks Gratitude is something you only dish out when you get what you want, the way you want it.
- An Evolver learns when and how to say "Yes " and "No". and is pretty clear about why. A Lost Cause hedges a lot around "Yes, but....." and "Maybe not..." at the wrong times and for the wrong reasons.
- An Evolver states "This is my intention....."; a Lost Cause promises "I'll try.........."
- A Lost Cause complains "I have to....."; and Evolver declares "I choose to...."
- An Evolver isn't nearly as afraid of losing as a Lost Cause is secretly afraid of succeeding.
- A Lost Cause is always too busy and never has enough time; an Evolver knows how to make time.
- An Evolver works through situations and conditions; a Lost Cause tries to get around them, and never gets past them.
- An Evolver makes commitments; a Lost Cause makes wishes and promises.
- Evolvers get up a head of steam and apply it steadily to the drive wheels to maximise traction. Lost Causes blow it all out of the whistle.
- An Evolver cleans up his messes; a Lost Cause shrugs and does it again.
- An Evolver is focussed on values, and knows where to take a stand, and where and when to negotiate; a Lost Cause is focussed on self-important issues, compromises the important stuff and fights over trivialities.
- An Evolving person acknowledges that he's doing well, and that he can learn and improve. A Lost Cause says "I'm not as bad as other people."
- An Evolving person builds a life; a Lost Cause repeats his childhood over and over until he dies.
- An Evolver listens attentively; he knows the creator gave him two ears and one mouth for a good reason. A Lost Cause waits until it's his turn to talk.
- A Lost Cause will do just about anything to be liked, ignoring the fact that it's costing him Contempt. An Evolving person engenders respect, and doesn't take too personally what other people think of him, except as feedback on how effectively he's representing what's important to him.
- An Evolving person feels strong enough to be gentle and firm; a Lost Cause fears gentleness will be taken as weakness.
- An Evolver respects authority; a Lost Cause jealously resents it.
- An Evolver learns how to give direction by learning first to take it with grace and gratitude; a Lost Cause can't wait to start giving orders.
- An Evolver explains; a Lost Cause explains away.
- An Evolving being feels responsible for more than just his job; a Lost Cause says "I only work here."
- An Evolver feeds the Goose that lays the golden eggs; a Lost Cause can't wait to steal the eggs.
- A Lost Cause contents himself with "This is the way its has always been done"; an Evolver says "There has to be another way..."
- Evolutionary leaders spend their lives serving: others may erect monuments to them, but only after they've gone; Lost Causes start posing for their monuments before they've done anything very much. In fact, some Lost Causes do nothing but pose, night in -- night out.
- Lost Causes keep walking Westward, looking for a sunrise.
- An Evolver knows from his observations that a Victim's life doesn't work: Lost Causes race each other to see who can get to the bottom first.
- Evolvers look for ways to make a difference; Lost Causes look for ways to become "special needs".
JUST FOR TODAY.....
JUST FOR TODAY.......
Dr. William S. Hendrie
Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life's problems at once.
Just for today I will be happy. Abe Lincoln said it -- "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."
Just for today I will strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
Just for today I will adjust myself to whatever is, and seek to change those things that must, and can be changed.
Just for today I will exercise my soul three ways:-
- I will do someone a good turn, and not get found out.
- I will not show anyone how much my feelings hurt. They may be hurt, but I will be responsible for that.
- Just for today I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, think high, act courteously, criticising not one bit. I will not find fault with anything, and not try to improve or regualte anybody other than myself.
Just for today I will have a Plan. I may not follow it exactly, but I will save myself from two pests: Hurry and Indecision.
Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.
Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful; and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.
TRUTH
No valid values are impaired or destroyed
By learning a truth about them.
Falsities, beliefs and prejudices
Are allergic to the Truths of unbiased experience
And will die if sufficiently exposed to them.
Every time we surrender to a truth,
We are a little more free --
Less vicitmised and victmise-able
By superstition, righteousness, prejudice, ignorance, dogmatism and crippling vulnerability.
We get a little more clear air
And find ourself better able to discover and creatively engage
With new facts, new ways of seeing, new experiences and challenges.
We can claim to be a little better "educated".
We are more than ever ready
To hone and polish our being with the being-ness of others in a poised way.
By learning a truth about them.
Falsities, beliefs and prejudices
Are allergic to the Truths of unbiased experience
And will die if sufficiently exposed to them.
Every time we surrender to a truth,
We are a little more free --
Less vicitmised and victmise-able
By superstition, righteousness, prejudice, ignorance, dogmatism and crippling vulnerability.
We get a little more clear air
And find ourself better able to discover and creatively engage
With new facts, new ways of seeing, new experiences and challenges.
We can claim to be a little better "educated".
We are more than ever ready
To hone and polish our being with the being-ness of others in a poised way.
Monday, August 16, 2010
SELF-IMAGE
Whether we like the results or not,
We are what we think we are.
We live up to our own deep,unconscious self-appraisal;
And from that same self-image
We teach others how to treat us.
Truth be known, we would all like that to be different,
But it remains so
Because we have no idea of what we're doing
To our self.
Wishing for things to be different leaves us ---
Wishing.
Self-Image isn't real; at best it is a partial reality. It is a perception, and like all human perceptions is doomed to be partial, incomplete and often misguided.
Self Image is one of the most basic programmes driving our auto-pilot. The inner images we hold of ourselves trigger very specific attitudes, which in turn have a profound influence on our contentment and effectiveness in life.
Self-image is merely an amoral seeding mechanism; it has no critical, judgmental or introspective function. It cannot differentiate between what might be harmful or beneficial to its host. Nor can it discriminate between actual experience and an experience vividly imagined in some factual or emotional detail. It has no vision outside of itself.
Self-Image dwells and operates from the sub-conscious level of our thinking;
Which is a fancy way of saying
Self-Image isn't something we think -- It thinks us.
For the most part,
We didn't even think it into existence in the first place,
It went in viscerally and emotionally.
That means two things --
Images stored within our brain, I am told by those who should know, cannot be willfully erased by us. Barring brain damage, we are stuck with them for life. That's good news because, God knows, I tried for quite a while back there to zap my negative self-image into oblivion, and failed very miserably. It was comforting to learn, at last, that -- despite what I'd been told by the Positive-Thinking-SWAT'ers -- it isn't necessary.
Even better news is that negative or inappropriate self-images can be balanced out with equally valid counterparts, and integrated into a dynamic whole.
Evolution and transformation are not about getting better; they are about getting whole.
Permanent transformation of our personalities and behaviours relies on:-
We are what we think we are.
We live up to our own deep,unconscious self-appraisal;
And from that same self-image
We teach others how to treat us.
Truth be known, we would all like that to be different,
But it remains so
Because we have no idea of what we're doing
To our self.
Wishing for things to be different leaves us ---
Wishing.
Self-Image isn't real; at best it is a partial reality. It is a perception, and like all human perceptions is doomed to be partial, incomplete and often misguided.
Self Image is one of the most basic programmes driving our auto-pilot. The inner images we hold of ourselves trigger very specific attitudes, which in turn have a profound influence on our contentment and effectiveness in life.
Self-image is merely an amoral seeding mechanism; it has no critical, judgmental or introspective function. It cannot differentiate between what might be harmful or beneficial to its host. Nor can it discriminate between actual experience and an experience vividly imagined in some factual or emotional detail. It has no vision outside of itself.
Self-Image dwells and operates from the sub-conscious level of our thinking;
Which is a fancy way of saying
Self-Image isn't something we think -- It thinks us.
For the most part,
We didn't even think it into existence in the first place,
It went in viscerally and emotionally.
That means two things --
- While we may be able to explain away bits of it, self image is rarely based on fact and does not, of itself, make rational sense; and
- If we want to change it, our rational mind is not up to the task -- we cannot reason ourselves out of anything that was not reasoned into in the first place.
Images stored within our brain, I am told by those who should know, cannot be willfully erased by us. Barring brain damage, we are stuck with them for life. That's good news because, God knows, I tried for quite a while back there to zap my negative self-image into oblivion, and failed very miserably. It was comforting to learn, at last, that -- despite what I'd been told by the Positive-Thinking-SWAT'ers -- it isn't necessary.
Even better news is that negative or inappropriate self-images can be balanced out with equally valid counterparts, and integrated into a dynamic whole.
Evolution and transformation are not about getting better; they are about getting whole.
Permanent transformation of our personalities and behaviours relies on:-
- A change in our perceptions (including our self-image and expectations)
- A willingness to view the world and our place in it from as many different points of view as we can manage every waking hour
- A willingness to try different strategies and behaviours, just for the heck of it.
Watch your self-talk feedback both before a challenging event and after it. How you respond to your performances is just as important (and revealing) as how you prepare for them. When someone asks you how you are, are you one of the 80 percenters who answer "Not bad". Why are we so disappointed when our catastrophising expectations are not met? Are you a "looker-backer"? Do you walk to the shops, look around and say to yourself "Well, contrary to my expectations, I didn't fall that time!"
A child watches adults walking and, encouraged by them, experiments, again and again. He just assumes that successful walking is part of the deal, and he can't wait to get with the programme. The child does not associate falling with failure; only as a temporary inconvenience, and a chance to adjust. He's not too fussed about HOW he walks, or how he looks while he's doing it, he just wants to get from point "a" to point "b" a little more efficiently than by sliding around on his bum. He gets up and tries again and again. Even once the skill of balance and locomotion is achieved, he does not stop there. Most children continue to practice and experiment, honing their skills and strengths. May be that's why there are so many accomplished toddlers in the world! Some of them take it even further and refine their skills into running, football, tennis and even ballet dancing -- things they never imagined possible when they first started trying to stand up.
Once we start on something, there's no telling where it might lead.
But we do have to start.
And that's where Self-Image comes in.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)