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There
are two certainties in life – Change and No Free Lunch. Yes, I've
heard the one about "death and taxes": well, Change and
Death are the same thing either way – change is the death of some
things and death is the biggest change of all. Taxes? Tax is
government's way of saying "If you think our services are
expensive, wait 'til you see what they cost when they're free."
It
may be time to upgrade your biocomputer's operating systems, because
the pace of Change and the costs of No Free Lunch are escalating at
an alarming rate. Haven't you noticed?
If
you find yourself slowing down and facing your own version of the
dreaded blue-screen of death, it's time to update your self.
We develop coping skills in line with our innate
temperament, our developing personality, and within the scope of the
landscape of our early upbringing. As soon as I left home, though, changes
and crises changed the landscape out of all recognition, and it has
since radically trans-formed more times than I can count. Changes of
career, geographical and social location, education, status, role,
function, vision, responsibilities, awareness, perceptions, values and
beliefs have compelled me either to empty and re-stack the fridge
over and over again, or drown in out-of-date, perished garbage. And I
don't think I've been alone in this experience.
I don't think there's much doubt that the rate of
social, scientific and spiritual change is accelerating, so fast indeed that many of
us struggle to keep pace and we barely have time to
question and test whether a particular progression is an advancement,
or five steps backwards. Stress cranks up, levels of anxiety and
uncertainty blister, and self-confidence correspondingly oozes away.
It feels sometimes like I'm on a bus being driven along a route map
that blew out the window several blocks back, piloted by terrified
bombasts, caught in the traffic flow, with their feet on the brakes
and their heads stuck in the rear-view mirror. No wonder we're
getting a bumpy ride! This might be a good time to re-stage the
Anthony Newley/Leslie Bricusse musical "Stop the World, I Want
to Get Off"!
Removing challenges from life is no "cure" for
anxiety and nervousness; it is not even an option this side of death.
If we are ever going to be able to stand on our own two feet, we must learn to adapt. I notice that rigidity, inflexibility and dependency in individuals go hand in hand. When I found myself stalled in this place, I saw two alternatives –
either take myself permanently out of the game or learn and practice
some coping skills. Being a devout coward, I chose the latter.
The evidence is that most of us don't change in any
major way until the sky falls in and the earth refuses to open up and
swallow us. We're left standing there like a shag on a rock, ready to
do ANYTHING to make this go away. It's our Gethsemane Moment. We don'
feel it at the time, but you can put this in your "Maybe"
file – "Crisis is your friend.".
In a trice it became blindingly obvious to me that
Barrie Barkla Mk#1. was obsolete, past it, powerless, over the hill,
impotent, expugnable, paralysed, ataxic, buggered. Actually, those
who loved me had realised it years before, but had either been too
polite to say so, or saw a spark of divinity that was worth hanging
around for.
It was time for a reinvention. Disassemble the wreck,
ruthlessly and unsentimentally chuck out what no longer worked,
prioritise what I want to do from here on and, using my hard-won
experience and new materials, design something that will actually fly
in this new environment – something solidly based, flexible,
adaptable to all climates and reliable. I called in the RAF –
Resilience, Adaptability and Flexibility.
The test-flights included taking on the tasks that lay
under my nose, experimenting with new solutions, no matter how scary
and illogical they might seem. Even the outrageous is worth a try. It
rarely fails.
And live in the present. Mind frets about the future and
chews over the past, and none of that makes a milligram of
difference, other than driving you into a tailspin. Sanity and
Serenity live in only one place – here/now – the only place your
unkind mind can't get at you. Sit, stand or lie quietly, feel your
clothes where they touch, feel the air on your skin and the breath
entering and leaving your nostrils, be aware of your food digesting,
and notice anything else that might be going on right now. Don't
interfere; just notice.
I wish I'd known about this before I turned
17. You don't
need to wait for the holocaust like I did. But I know now, and it's one helluva wonderful way to live
between now and when the last bus comes to take me home. And I can
pass it on to my grandchildren at just the right time. How good is
that!?
We each have 3 "selves" – our Natural Self
which is like out Temperament; our Manufactured Self which equates
with the Personality we've put together; and there's Who We Are – the
Awareness is which this all arises.
As Petria King said on the ABC: "When you bring
the whole of your self harmoniously to every
thing you do, everything is well attended to."
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