GREAT EXPECTATIONS

It's my contention that Expectations are not all they're cracked up to be.

Probably because, in a world where everything has its flipside, an expectation "goes-with" deep disappointment. Each is inherent in the other. Expectations get unfulfilled -- hopes get dashed.

Well, of course they do. What's the problem?

Expectation is a position we take. We expect something. And every Position creates Opposition. That's just the way it is in here.

Expectations are tainted by flavours of covert coercion, shoulds, ought-to's, bargaining-for, and counting-upon ...... something outside of your true self. All these divisive positions pong of manipulation and a desire to control, and often lead to guilt-tripping and resentment of anyone who doesn't live up to my/your expectations. And expectations are not very attractive to be around. I hate having to live up to my own high expectations! Imagine how I might feel trying to live up to yours!?

So what works a better as a stand or context?

I find Possibilities much better tools. In any situation, several outcomes are always possible. Loosen your addictive Demands into Preferences; then loosen your Preferences into open, unconditional Possibilities. Then watch your life bud and blossom!

Creating and recognising possibilities opens up spaces for everyone, spaces in which to create. Expectations either restrict freedom of choices and responses, or shut them down completely. And they lead to resentment.

The biggest predictor of disappointment, and everything that might flow from that, is Expectation.

Whose expectation?

Yours.

Before you jump to blame those who disappoint you, look first at your own expectations of them. After all, because they're yours, you can do something about them and, maybe/possibly, save yourself a lot of anguish.

Expectations are your way of saying to the world, "I want you to jump this high -- for me." That's when I start thinking about requests for you to go forth and multiply!

When you drop your expectations (high or low) of someone, you could be be surprised how much and often they'll surprise you. Who knows, they may even exceed your expectations -- if you let them.