I EXPECT......

I EXPECT......

~FeNelon, Francois on Spirit and Spirituality wrote recently – “ All earthly delights are sweeter in expectation than in enjoyment; but all spiritual pleasures more in fruition than in expectation. ”

Like many things that we once relied upon early in life to move us along, expectations turn out in time to be counter-productive. Surprising, isn't it? Any expectation is, by definition, something looked forward to. It is a prospect of future good or profit. The problem is its focus on some looked-for satisfaction in an imagined future.

The future is an ill-defined place in an unreal realm called “time”, a place where there is no real possibility. The power to create lies only in the present, here and now. By seeking to create something in the future, you automatically separate your self from its creator – you – who actually exists only in the present. Sure, the process of creation begins when we imagine how we would like something to turn out a bit down the track. But that image-inating has to be here and now if it is to have any effect. And the next steps also have to be taken here and taken now. If you allow yourself to drift out of the present, you've entered the dodgy playgrounds of Wishing and Hoping.

When you hold something in Expectation it infers a degree of probability, a probability you can get pretty upset about if it doesn't work out the way you think it should. Hidden inside Expectation are elements of hope (including doubt and parent thoughts and blind assumptions of “missing” and “lack”). If you then add to the mix fears of what you want not-happening, you are virtually guaranteeing eventual disappointment. The overriding Rule of Reality here is “You're going to wherever you're coming from”. If you come from a ground being of loss, lack, hope and disappointment, no amount of pumping yourself up and Expectorating will get you to abundance, gratitude and fulfilment.

There's a sense in which expectations are illusions – with an emotional wallop. I'm sure you remember the 1967 hymn to disillusionment, “Is that all there is?” It suggests that expectations impose an artificial horizon on what once promised to be an endless ocean of possibility. With great sadness it laments the fact that, in our reaching for nirvana, we don't realise until too late that the journey is more nourishing than the destination. Heaven is nice, but it's a let-down.

We've both heard stories and lived through our own experiences of Opportunity showing up in life, disguised as something quite different to what we expected. My first step past this ingrained habit was to begin the practice of deliberately and specifically putting out for what I want ... “or something better”, then watching with an open mind what turns up next, and dealing with that in trust that Life knows me a whole lot better than I do, and “what I want” is on its way – in one guise or another.

Stripped of specific expectation, spiritual pleasures are available throughout the journey, when in expanding awareness we perceive, delight and celebrate in day-by-day signs of progress from limitation to freedom, from darkness to light.

THE GLASS IS HALF FULL

Do you want things to be different?

What do you think might happen if you choose to let go of baggage you've been carrying around all your life. You know the kind of baggage I mean – the thoughts and emotions that, no matter which countries you migrate to, which careers you change, which relationships you walk away from, which situations you walk into thinking “this time it's different” – the emotional, intellectual and social baggage that keeps turning up on your doorstep just when things start to get a bit difficult.

Exercising choice in the way you see things makes a difference – in fact it makes all the difference in the world.

It was not long – not very long at all –before it became apparent that I was not going to be the textbook “eldest son” my parents envisaged. I had a rebellious streak that quickly turned sneaky when thwarted. Despite being wonky-legged and not at all athletic, I had two near-death experiences before the age of thirteen. I grew up chanting “I am not worthy”, “There's something wrong with me” and “I'll never amount to anything” mantras to myself, loudly reinforced by my loving parents who sought to thereby motivate me to be different and better than I appeared to be. I'm sure it wasn't deliberate, but I was squirted into school with a snobbish attitude of being morally and mentally superior to the other kids, a drastic distortion that was guaranteed to make me easy fodder for every school bully. Other than a biting wit and an air of martyred superiority, I had no defences. I just wanted to have friends and be friends, but had no idea of how to go about that. I had my Peter Pan-ish dreams of an enchanted existence violently quashed, giving credence to my negatively programmed belief system.

It wasn't my parents' fault. Their childhoods had not equipped them for social success. Parents cannot pass on to their children what they don't have. No-one can. So I was never taught the simple truth that we become what we dwell on. A strictly religious upbringing gave me an awareness of a spiritual dimension to human life, but I had no chance to contemplate or understand our birthright of god-ness – that would have been a sin of pride. It never occurred to me until I was introduced to the idea in my late thirties that we attract what we are, what we think, and what we feel day after day. Given my circumstances, it was easy to fall into a victim consciousness from time to time, wallowing internaslly in a perpetual state of powerlessness trying to win something and be somebody. One thing simply led to another. I struggled, and with every struggle, more struggle seemed to find me.

Finally, my wife left me after 18 years of marriage, and my whole world exploded and fell apart, with no handholds anywhere. I fell into an abyss so dark and deep I never really found the bottom.

Forced to do some work on myself by a horrible business failure, I had already done some personal growth work – enough to realise that “better” was possible, but that mind-gym worked – except sometimes, then no longer worked – except sometimes. No, mind control was not “the answer”. There had to be more to life than what I'd come to so far.

I am not sure exactly when I actually “woke up.” Although there were, and still are, significant “A-hah!” moments, it was more of a gradual staging for me than a sudden awakening. It was more like coming out of a deep coma than just waking up in the mornings. I slowly learned to assimilate each new “got-it” as it came along, and to take each of my life circumstances step by step and play them — like a hand of cards – differently.

This wasn't like change, though. Surely, the old programming and habits were still there, but this was like setting them off to one side and re-building from the foundations up, discovering new programmes and habits along the way, and finding a new use for the old stuff. This was not change; this was Evolution, starting again from amoeba......but this time doing it with eyes wide open in conscious awareness and with an acute knowing of what no longer works.

Above all, I learned Awareness techniques to increase the amount of time I spend in the Here and Now.
We experience reality when we live it uncritically in the now. When we're off in the dead past or the imagined future, usually with voice-over commentary, direct experience is no longer available. Our “now” becomes bloated with Thinking About – thinking about remembers think-abouts (past), or imagined think-abouts (future). We are now at least at least 4 stages removed from anything real, which continues to flow by unabated and totally unexperienced while we are otherwise distracted.

We summon into our existence exactly what we are thinking and feeling and believing in the moment. And what we are thinking and feeling about in the moment are repetitive streams of faulty perceptions, beliefs, concepts, judgements and opinions from a past that we got wrong then anyway. That's why life keeps on repeating itself, and why we keep on doing similar things, hoping for a different result. The cast list may change, but the plots and dramas remain pretty much the same. In the meantime, life as it really is just passes us by – unnoticed.

Contemplate this: What am I calling into my life right now? What outdated, corrupted, virus-ridden conscious and subconscious programs am I running on right now? What mental and emotional baggage am I clinging to? Is my life half-empty, or half-full? More importantly, what is even “in the glass” and how long have I been holding on to it? 

Six or seven years ago I had major surgery and woke up on complete life support. Everything from the past was gone, the future hadn't occurred to me yet, and in the here & now I had to construct something from scratch. Since that moment, my experience has been a direct one of noticing once-upon-a-time faculties returning and some new ones showing up in the empty space created by the total erasure. I'm blessed to feel that my glass is definitely “filling up”.

I know that a “half-full” consciousness is possible, and I know how that perception has transformed the way I see and deal with the world. I also know that you don't have to have quintuple-bypass surgery to get to this realisation. There are much easier, less expensive, less dangerous and gentler ways to be “born again”.

Simply choose to let go of empty habits like “the way I've always done it” and “this is just how I am”. Let them go. Create space. Do not be afraid of having Nothing to replace the old. Trust that your life has always known where it wanted to go, and has been waiting patiently (mostly), for you to wake up to yourself. Let a very different kind of Certainty, a Certainty of Not-Knowing be your new status quo. In a new atmosphere of Possibility, trust that doors and windows will open unto you, inviting you to play and explore in a land of “I always wanted to....”

THE 12 LAWS OF KARMA

1. The Law of Cause and Effect

Whatever you sow, you will reap.

What you put out, you get back (If you spit in the wind, it lands in your face)

We get what we want by becoming it. If you want happiness, peace, love and friendship, BE happy, peace-full, loving and friendly.

Learn when to be Cause, and when to surrender to being an Effect.

2. The Law of Creating
   We create whatever thoughts, feelings and attitudes that we focus our attention upon.
   We and the Universe are one, both inside and out. Everything is connected to everything else. Isolation is a conclusion arising from a very limited view of things.
   It's all done with mirrors – projections and reflections. Our inner state shows up in whatever surrounds us.
   Find out what you are, become it, and surround yourself with whatever you want in your life. Invite playmates into your space.

3. The Law of Humility
   What you resist will keep showing up until you get it.When we surrender unconditionally to what-is, we transform what was and empower what will be.Never quit; be quick to surrender – ie. Engage creatively with what-is, just as it is.
   
   
   .4. The Law of Growing
   We are always growing; the only question is “Into what?”
   Wherever you go, you have to take “You” with you.
   If you want to grow in spirit, you must transform: change is not enough.
   Growth is a DIY job. 
   The people, places or things around you are not going to change just to make you happy – they're not supposed to.
   The only given in life is “I am”, and everything we add after that is all that we have control over.
   When we change what's inside, what's outside changes, too. If there's no change outside, you're kidding yourself about the inside.
   
   
   .5. The Law of Responsibility
   We are the sole author of what we are and become.
   Whenever there is something “off” in my life, there is something “off” in me.
   Unless we take responsibility for what is in our life, we assume the posture of victim, which is a bit odd for a God.
   It is a universal truth that we mirror what surrounds us, and what surrounds us mirrors what's within us. It's handy - it enables us to do status reviews.
   Own what you see, for what you see is you.
   If you can see a need, you're elected.
   
   
   .6. The Law of Connection
   Everything in the Universe is integral. Do the inconsequential stuff with the same attention and reverence as you give to the big stuff. Get that you might not know the difference.
   Show me someone who can't be bothered with details and I'll show you someone who can't be trusted with the big picture.
   Let each step take you to the next step, and so on.
   If no-one starts, it won't get done.
   Start from where you are, not from where you'd like to think you are, or from where you think you ought to be.
   Neither the first nor the last nor any other step is anymore important or significant than any other.
   The secret of your success today is more than just what you had for breakfast this morning.
   
   
   .7. The Law of Focus
   The human mind can only entertain one idea, direct one act at a time. It can flit very quickly, but still only land on one place at a time. So there's a lot going on that it can NOT know about.
   It follows that when we direct our attention to spiritual considerations, it is impossible to harbour low-frequency thoughts and feelings like greed, anger and jealousy.
   
   
   .8. The Law of Sharing
   Your true self shows up when you are self-less.
   Whatever you know to be true, and even what you only think/believe to be true, you will be tested on it, sooner or later. Get ready to put it into practice, and live by the consequences.
   Eliminate from your be-ing every taint of poverty consciousness and thoughts of Scarcity and Lack. They are not borne out by the evidence. The Universe is abundant.
   \
   .9. The Law of Change
   The first Cosmic Paradox that we all encounter is that the only constant is change – AND – nothing changes, until transformation happens. Then everything is different.
   Before transformation, history is just like a cracked record–cracked record–cracked record....
   History will keep repeating itself until you “get it” ie. Learn the lessons you need to enable you to change your trajectory.
   
   
   .10. The Law of Now/Here
   There is no time other than Here/Now.
   Your only power is in this moment.
   There is no past, nor any future, unless you think about it.
   While you're thinking about anything, you're out of the Here/Now because Mind cannot be present. Which leaves you quite powerless. Only pure awareness can be “in the moment”.
   The seeing is the movement.
   Old thought patterns, old behaviour habits, old dreams fill the bucket. If you want some new ones, you're going to have to tip some old ones out.
   
   
   .11. The Law of Patience and Reward
   Whatever you plant in spring; you harvest in autumn – not before. And there might be some cultivating to do in between.
   The wise sower knows the harvest will come in its own time
   
   
   .12. The Law of Significance and Impact
   You get back whatever you have put in – with interest.
   The consequences of your input may not come back from where you put in, but come back they will; the Universe sees to that. It has something to do with another Law – the Law of Balance.
   The true value of anything in your life is directly proportional to the quality of the energy, motivation and intent that you put into it.
   Every personal contribution you make is also contributed to The Whole. Nothing is wasted – not really; it only feels like it sometimes. Be patient. Remember, your harvest may not come from where you planted. Be more concerned about the quality of what you're planting than about when you're going to get something in return.
   Lacklustre or corrosive contributions have little impact on The Whole, nor do they diminish it.
   Loving, selfless contributions enlighten and inspire The Whole. To the best of your ability, leave every place you go a little nicer than you found it. Do that, and you will be welcome when you return.

Whether you know it or not, you make a difference in your simply be-ing. The only question is – “What kind of difference?” and that is entirely up to you

GETTING A BAD BREAK? UNLOCK YOUR BRAKES

Imagine what it would be like to live in a world where you are more concerned about what you have to offer than what you have to hide.” ~Unknown

This is a very powerful quote. It asks us to imagine a world very different from the one many of us live in. The current state of the world is characterised by stinking thinking and risk minimisation strategies that aggressively protect, defend, and resist established positions and habits.

So what's The Secret to this “would rather” world? Pretty much the polar opposite of what we're looking to get by with now – create new personal habits that Accept, Allow, Understand, Engage and Master. Yes, personal habits. Social and Cultural changes only happen as a result of enough individuals changing their thinking from restrictive to expansive, from reactive to proactive. When enough individuals are changing, the social scales tip. No “people's revolution” or bloodshed in the streets required!

Why is this secret of allowing, surrendering and engaging creatively so important? Well, only if we want to unlock the self-applied brakes that prevent us from living the life we were born to live, to spread our wings and soar.

We have to factor in the reality that not only is our world changing and, at times transforming but also that it is doing it so rapidly. Our sense of safety has long been impacted by the major life transitions we all experience: loss of job security, financial challenges, illnesses, loss of a loved one, aging, threats of unforeseen violence etc. And although there have always been dangers and threats, real and imagined, to parts of life that we want to protect, those threats have now been heightened, multiplied and intensified with the advent of the information age and the shenanigans of those who use its instant forms of digital communication to coerce or manipulate us into some form of compliance, sometimes questionably for our own good, but mostly for their own blatant ends.

In the face of this, it is no wonder we find ourselves a little breathless, anxious, bewildered and sometimes resistant to change. Encouraged by those who want to sell us everything from funeral insurance to a new model of mobile 'phone, we are actively encouraged to feel uneasy without the latest vacuum cleaner, a certificate for life after death, or a swag of political promises.

And at the very same time we want to get un-stuck, live free-choice lives of quality substance and dignity, accomplish our dreams, find a sense of deep connection, celebrate our talents, share our achievements and pass on our gifts and wisdom to others. To enable ourselves to receive what we want, we would be wise to take The Secret to heart.

The simple, natural acts, repeated until they become habits of Accepting, Allowing, Understanding, and Engaging allow you to change where you may feel stuck. The consequent feelings of lack and loss, separation and loneliness, bitterness and frustration will begin to dissolve. Where there is a perceived threat, there can be space to notice a sense of openness and curiosity not seen since early childhood. Empathy and accord gently replace antagonism and divisiveness. Where there is distrust, there can be greater receptivity, balance and the ability to stay in the present more often.

This new approach will give you a new sense of freedom, new levels of energy and passion and a greater awareness of the bearing that your beliefs, prejudices, opinions and values play in determining the quantity and quality of your life, and how to free yourself from those tyrannies.

In the end, it all comes down to a matter of choice. Each of us can choose to be reactive and at the mercy of a world that appears to threaten something we've decided we cannot live without. Or we can choose to be open to life and its remarkable possibilities. We can be defensive and protective, or we can live with a new spring in our step and spirit, eyes that truly see, ears that really hear, a mind that can return to its proper function of reasoning and communicating, and a heart that can feel the wonder and celebrate the magnificent mystery that is life.

If I have learned anything over the course of my 70+ years as a shy, wide-eyed curious explorer, it’s that one of the ultimate cosmic jokes is that nothing changes, AND that change is one of life’s true constants. And transitions like changing jobs, moving homes, losing loved ones, and getting divorced can by trying, not to mention scary. Even when change is welcomed or even allowed without resistance, it’s usually not without fear and at least a little dose of growing pains.

The truth is, we have allowed ourselves to be moulded un-naturally into creatures of habit, who feel safer with routine. But the flipside of the coin is that routine is not what we were engineered for, and without challenge, the spirit and quality of our lives quickly leaches away. Audacity in the face of qualm can be more powerful if you embrace it. Change is an emotional process that requires us to set out into uncharted waters, and to not only test the waters, but to also test ourselves. Change can be a wonderful gift! But only if you say so. Which means that, first of all, you're going to have to radically change your mind, and your mind will fight you tooth and nail. I know, I've been there.

It is my experience, not only in living my own life but also in quietly observing the lives of others, life never misses an opportunity to offer us new chances and fresh starts. We are dared to keep our balance even when we feel like we are on the shakiest ground. That reconnecting with ourselves to become more enlightened and empowered is not only possible but probable.

It's easy to be open to possibilities in areas and contexts that are not close to anything you identify with. But are you open to any possibility (not just maybe within a certain range), or are there areas where you close up, tense up and rely on negativity? If so, what are they? I'm not telling you that you have to change: I'm just suggesting that you simply become self-aware. For example, I am extremely comfortable around gay males, and have even been know to do convincing male/male “love scenes”. But the minute I sense a male coming onto me, I tense up and look for the nearest range of hills.

There are times when I find myself tightening up when something is being threatened. “OK, more exploration required right here”. Here is an area where I'm protectively living my life defensively, and not living with my eyes, ears, heart and minds fully open. As soon as I find what it is, it’s amazing what just a slight shift in perspective can do…it can, and usually does make all the difference in the world.

With these simple yet powerful little nuggets of wisdom, 2016 might just turn out to be the year you stop feeling stuck and truly start celebrating your life! 

A QUESTION TO START TODAY.....

A QUESTION TO START TODAY.....

In every age there has been a dominant worldview that people tended to conform to. In an age of faith, everyone asked “How can I best serve God?” This was their daily concern. In the Industrial Age the question shifted to economics and the overarching question was “How can I improve me and my family's lot in life?” In an age dominated by science the question shifted again—most people live every day in the questions “How do I keep up with progress?” and a significant few add “How do I add to it?”

I see these world “ages” mirrored somewhat in the phases of our personal lives as we journey from birth to death. Think of it as a re-statement of William Shakespeare's "Seven Ages of Man".

As times and circumstances change, so does our priority version of what is important, and usually we think, or at least hope, that what we have now is a better vision than the one which preceded this.

Yet when I step back, as I often do, to see the bigger picture, it seems that each age had one thing in common, and it wasn't God, economics, or progress. It was the fundamental idea that life has a better-than-even chance of being well lived only if you have a Vision. If you know what things, qualities and conditions are important to you, in what order they rank, and under what circumstances you will change that order of priorities, you're less likely to get belted around by forces you don't understand. You'll see choices and decisions in clearer air and find them easier to make and commit to. Without a vision, purpose and meaning get stymied. 

Whatever your sense of purpose may be at any given time, it turns out that the one question you could ask every day is this: How can I best further or fulfill my vision today? Whether they put it exactly in these words, this is the personal secret behind the greatest success stories. Those stories didn't just “happen”. Every story begins when someone dedicates his or her attention, time and energy to a plan, a project, or a set of values that is larger than any one individual.

What makes for a worthy life? Well, how long have you got? Maybe I can boil it down to this – a worthy vision, I think, needs to fulfill certain criteria.

1. Your vision should be suited to who you really are. It's not effective, I've found, to borrow from someone else's inspiration. Equally doomed is a vision tailored to show off an image you'd like to project to other people. Nor does an enterprise chosen out of obligation ever work out well for anybody. Your parents may desperately have wanted you to follow the family business or go to medical school, perhaps even because they weren't able to. My parents wanted me to be a schoolteacher – because they hadn't had that opportunity. Those are laudable motives, but it's a high- risk venture to adopt a vision that isn't really your own, or that isn't suited to your strengths. I had to break from my parents, strike out on my own, and find my own sense of self and a vision to express that. I'm still working on it.

2. Your vision should be valuable no matter how much money you expect to make out of it. In other words, it should speak to some value that is high on your list of long-time priorities. Of course, you can always make it your vision to get rich, but there are two problems with that. First, the day you arrive at a financial goal, it will tend to feel empty. Second, a life totally devoted to money invites greed and competition to fuel an insatiable desire. 

3. You should compare the possibilities that seem most appealing, which means doing research and dipping your toe into more than one pool. Philosophy, religion, science, art, music, business, and scholarship are rich with potential, and you owe it to yourself at least to sample what they are like before you make an all-in commitment to one thing. What I did was to prioritise the possibilities, then follow one path until it was exhausted, the move on to the next, and so on to the next, and the next.... don't get me wrong, I'm not recommending this as a good idea for you; it's just the way I chose to proceed on through. I did find, though, that one path led fairly naturally to the next, and so on. Looking back along my timeline, I see changes of direction - some of them quite dramatic, like my switch from a career as a musician and organist to that of  television producer. But there is Continuity there, too -- the skills of performance I learned a a musician taught me skills I'd need as a producer, which in turn taught me things I came to need as an actor and director. Continuity and Change chan go hand in hand -- if you let them.

4. Your vision should be ambitious. The old saying still holds true that a man's reach (or a woman's reach) should exceed his grasp. Settling for "anything -- whatever"  is not visionary, by any stretch of imagination. Pick something that will feel like a challenge every day for as long as you can see into the future. 

5. Finally, don't lose sight of two words that often escape notice when someone has burning ambition and drive: “happiness” and “love”. The more that pursuing the object of your ambition can increase these two qualities, in your life and the lives of others, the more worthwhile your life will feel as it unfolds. They will teach you how to balance Commitment and Surrender so that you achieve Mastery. A hugely successful life devoid of happiness and love is what Scrooges are made of.