GETTING A BAD BREAK? UNLOCK YOUR BRAKES

Imagine what it would be like to live in a world where you are more concerned about what you have to offer than what you have to hide.” ~Unknown

This is a very powerful quote. It asks us to imagine a world very different from the one many of us live in. The current state of the world is characterised by stinking thinking and risk minimisation strategies that aggressively protect, defend, and resist established positions and habits.

So what's The Secret to this “would rather” world? Pretty much the polar opposite of what we're looking to get by with now – create new personal habits that Accept, Allow, Understand, Engage and Master. Yes, personal habits. Social and Cultural changes only happen as a result of enough individuals changing their thinking from restrictive to expansive, from reactive to proactive. When enough individuals are changing, the social scales tip. No “people's revolution” or bloodshed in the streets required!

Why is this secret of allowing, surrendering and engaging creatively so important? Well, only if we want to unlock the self-applied brakes that prevent us from living the life we were born to live, to spread our wings and soar.

We have to factor in the reality that not only is our world changing and, at times transforming but also that it is doing it so rapidly. Our sense of safety has long been impacted by the major life transitions we all experience: loss of job security, financial challenges, illnesses, loss of a loved one, aging, threats of unforeseen violence etc. And although there have always been dangers and threats, real and imagined, to parts of life that we want to protect, those threats have now been heightened, multiplied and intensified with the advent of the information age and the shenanigans of those who use its instant forms of digital communication to coerce or manipulate us into some form of compliance, sometimes questionably for our own good, but mostly for their own blatant ends.

In the face of this, it is no wonder we find ourselves a little breathless, anxious, bewildered and sometimes resistant to change. Encouraged by those who want to sell us everything from funeral insurance to a new model of mobile 'phone, we are actively encouraged to feel uneasy without the latest vacuum cleaner, a certificate for life after death, or a swag of political promises.

And at the very same time we want to get un-stuck, live free-choice lives of quality substance and dignity, accomplish our dreams, find a sense of deep connection, celebrate our talents, share our achievements and pass on our gifts and wisdom to others. To enable ourselves to receive what we want, we would be wise to take The Secret to heart.

The simple, natural acts, repeated until they become habits of Accepting, Allowing, Understanding, and Engaging allow you to change where you may feel stuck. The consequent feelings of lack and loss, separation and loneliness, bitterness and frustration will begin to dissolve. Where there is a perceived threat, there can be space to notice a sense of openness and curiosity not seen since early childhood. Empathy and accord gently replace antagonism and divisiveness. Where there is distrust, there can be greater receptivity, balance and the ability to stay in the present more often.

This new approach will give you a new sense of freedom, new levels of energy and passion and a greater awareness of the bearing that your beliefs, prejudices, opinions and values play in determining the quantity and quality of your life, and how to free yourself from those tyrannies.

In the end, it all comes down to a matter of choice. Each of us can choose to be reactive and at the mercy of a world that appears to threaten something we've decided we cannot live without. Or we can choose to be open to life and its remarkable possibilities. We can be defensive and protective, or we can live with a new spring in our step and spirit, eyes that truly see, ears that really hear, a mind that can return to its proper function of reasoning and communicating, and a heart that can feel the wonder and celebrate the magnificent mystery that is life.

If I have learned anything over the course of my 70+ years as a shy, wide-eyed curious explorer, it’s that one of the ultimate cosmic jokes is that nothing changes, AND that change is one of life’s true constants. And transitions like changing jobs, moving homes, losing loved ones, and getting divorced can by trying, not to mention scary. Even when change is welcomed or even allowed without resistance, it’s usually not without fear and at least a little dose of growing pains.

The truth is, we have allowed ourselves to be moulded un-naturally into creatures of habit, who feel safer with routine. But the flipside of the coin is that routine is not what we were engineered for, and without challenge, the spirit and quality of our lives quickly leaches away. Audacity in the face of qualm can be more powerful if you embrace it. Change is an emotional process that requires us to set out into uncharted waters, and to not only test the waters, but to also test ourselves. Change can be a wonderful gift! But only if you say so. Which means that, first of all, you're going to have to radically change your mind, and your mind will fight you tooth and nail. I know, I've been there.

It is my experience, not only in living my own life but also in quietly observing the lives of others, life never misses an opportunity to offer us new chances and fresh starts. We are dared to keep our balance even when we feel like we are on the shakiest ground. That reconnecting with ourselves to become more enlightened and empowered is not only possible but probable.

It's easy to be open to possibilities in areas and contexts that are not close to anything you identify with. But are you open to any possibility (not just maybe within a certain range), or are there areas where you close up, tense up and rely on negativity? If so, what are they? I'm not telling you that you have to change: I'm just suggesting that you simply become self-aware. For example, I am extremely comfortable around gay males, and have even been know to do convincing male/male “love scenes”. But the minute I sense a male coming onto me, I tense up and look for the nearest range of hills.

There are times when I find myself tightening up when something is being threatened. “OK, more exploration required right here”. Here is an area where I'm protectively living my life defensively, and not living with my eyes, ears, heart and minds fully open. As soon as I find what it is, it’s amazing what just a slight shift in perspective can do…it can, and usually does make all the difference in the world.

With these simple yet powerful little nuggets of wisdom, 2016 might just turn out to be the year you stop feeling stuck and truly start celebrating your life!