THE JOURNEY -- FROM HERE TO NOW

When I look back along a time-line of my life, I see that the whole journey for me has (so far) been circular. I started off realising with horror that my father and God (very closely related) might be right -- I might be a Nobody. So I struggled through decades of trying to be a Somebody, and now find myself arcing back to being No-thing, and discovering that "nothing" is another name for Infinite Possibility.

Nothing......
No thoughts that matter,
No feelings that matter,
No matter that matters.......
Just the Is-ness of being Empty-full.

I've just had open-heart surgery. Boy, oh boy! Does that return me to a state of nothing but the absolute immediacy of Now?!! There's no-where else to go! In the pain and confusion, there is no past that matters any more. There is no room for contemplating any future. My resources are fully committed to dealing with this moment. Everything, from a cough to a walk around the block, requires awareful choices and decisions, gathering of resources, and fully-focused love and attention. This is the absolute immediacy of life as-it-is.

I've also discovered something in the fine print about Goals. There was a time in the past when they helped be get off the arse of my ignorance and propel me into some kind of conscious authorship for and of my next moment. As a passive also-ran, I needed Goals -- rather like one needs all the prune juice one can swallow in order to get things moving after a heavy anaesthetic.

But there are riders to goals -- they must not be allowed to limit our thrust. Goals are only useful while they keep opening us up to New Possibilities and fresh lessons. If life takes us suddenly in another direction, we do well to drop the goals and make up some new ones. And don't get hung up on attaining our goals. Life as a human being is all about The Journey -- the destination will take care of itself, without any input from us, and there's bugger-all we can do about that. Heaven is not what we think it is, and is not a prize that has to be earned; it's where we came from and where we're bound. Hell is a man-made option that lies somewhere in between where we came from and where we're going to. Judgment Day, if we insist upon having one, is today!

Outside of our ego's individual me-ness, there is no judgment.
There is only Attention --
A presentness, availability and ever-deepening creative relationship with the Now.
Wherever we turn our attention, there is Creating,
And there is Love.
In this kind of fluid, flexible awareness
Notions of "success" and "feeling on top of it" become irrelevant.

When we become available and attentive to deep questioning,
We will always be brought to places that we do not know
And that we did not know that we don't know.
Attention will thus radically alter our relationship
With what we think we know.

And wasn't this how we were in the beginning?....
Before Innocence got confused with Ignorance
And we got pressured to grow up and get "knowledge".

I'll settle for Innocence over ignorance,
And for Knowing over knowledge.