WHEN IT'S GOOD SENSE TO JUST WALK AWAY.....

TIME OUT

HANG IN, OR WALK AWAY?

[Nothing Lasts Forever – The Black Sorrows]

If you are at all successful in your life, you probably are not the type of person to give up easily. Neither am I. For most of my working life I was ambitious and skilled, loyal as a hound dog and continued to push forward regardless of what obstacles blocked my way. Loyal, dogged and driven to succeed, that was me. But ultimately I came up empty; successful and a failure. In this conundrum I discovered a secret: ie. sometimes it's wise to turn your back and walk away. Sure, it's embarrassing – maybe downright shameful – to admit defeat but when you are in a "no win" situation it's often the only action that can save the situation, you and your sanity.

[You Keep Me Hanging On – Prinnie & Mahalia]

It can not only be OK to walk away, sometimes it's even healthy. I have found that there's a world of difference between “giving up” and “surrendering”. In surrender, new options become evident, new possibilities emerge that I simply could not see before, and I get more creative and satisfied. You will find that, too. Try it.

[Walk Away – Leticia Maher]

Sometimes company, service, product, or relationship problems are just too great for you to do much about. Sometimes, some people are too full-metal-jacket insane to work with. It may well become wise to move on and invest your attention and energy into something that has a better chance of being satisfying and creating value for more people. But you must take personal responsibility for getting into and contributing to the situation, and you must earn your way out. Quitting is a cowardly way, and only ensures that you'll repeat your mistakes over again.

[Harry the Hairy Ape – Ray Stevens]

There have been a number of times in my own career when I took on a big hairy problem and after struggling against it for far too long, realised it was better to move on. There have been times when I've chosen to reverse earlier choices and forego career advancement in favour of something quite different like, for example, taking better care of family. And every time I've dropped a righteous crusade against something, my life has benefited and I have gone on to create more happiness for myself and others in other ways. The key is that I identified the real problem, spoke clearly about it with those who could help me resolve it, and only decided to give up when it was obvious that they weren't going to change, and I would be better off doing something else that would benefit those nearest and dearest to me.

In those instances, giving up meant looking for a new job and moving on in more ways than one. If you are in a long-term dysfunctional environment, continuing to do the same job and putting up with the same crap is disastrous for you and people who depend on you at work and home. Crap is crap, no matter how hard you try to polish it.

[Should I Stay or Should I Go? – The Clash – 0:40 (-2:32)]

The problem is that when you try to persevere, you are actually in survival mode: you are gluing yourself to a belief and a value that your ego decides you can't live without. How you justify what you do may make rational and moral “sense” to you, but it's not “you”. You get yourself into a personal hell. You just don't care about the quality of your work and results anymore. Just walk into your local Motor Vehicle Registry or Centrelink Office and watch the workers behind the counter: you'll see what I mean.

[I'm the Urban Spaceman-- Bonzo Dog Doodah Band – 2:24]

Now, for some people and in some situations it's easier to walk away than for others. Your perceived level of influence depends on your career and financial status and I do not want to overlook that. However, I suggest that no matter your situation -- you do have the power to pursue a different course which in most cases will ultimately lead to a new job that will improve many different areas of your life all at the same time.

How you know the time has come to move on? Well I really don't know if there is ever a “right” time. If you set off to work in the morning but wait in your driveway until all the lights along the route turn green, you'll never get there. 
 

First, let's start with what creates a happy environment and job joy. I think that job satisfaction is based on four forms of alignment.

• AMBITION
• SKILL
• REWARDS
• MANAGEMENT

The more your job is aligned in each one of these areas -- the happier and more productive you are likely to be.

And here are the signs to look for in each area that may be telling you it's time to walk away. However, just because you are not aligned does not mean that you can not become so. It's important to consider how creatively you have been trying to find alignment and your ideal place in the whole, and if it's likely that you will get there.

If you have been struggling for over a year in any one of these areas, it might be time to consider moving in a new direction. After all, if you keep on doing what you've always done, you'll keep on getting what you've got.

[Turnaround – Dru Chen]

Alignment with ambition Are you working in a role that is tolerably stretching you beyond your comfort zone, growing you, and getting you closer to your personal goals? Is what I'm doing now the best way of fully expressing what I've decided my life is about? Are there better options close by? What do I need to do to put myself in the best place to move into that niche? These are fundamental questions to ask yourself and unfortunately most people never do.

Without willingness, intention and a goal, it's impossible to know if you are headed in the right direction. If you don't know where you want to go, it really doesn't matter what direction to take, does it? I often recommend a "goal first" approach as you think about your own direction. Don't worry overly much if it's the “right” goal; just get moving. You can modify or even change your destination, and alter course at any time. But if you're not moving, nothing's going to happen except doldrums, apathy, rust and old age. If you have never taken the time to write down where you want to be in one, five, and 10 years, now is the only time you can start.

Alignment with your skills and proclivities.The most enjoyable jobs fully tap our existing skill sets and challenge us to grow new ones. Are you a master of the domain you are currently working in or are you on your way? If the answer is “Yes”, you are probably fairly satisfied with the work you do. If the answer is “No”, your confidence has likely been battered, your sensitivity to possibility numbed, and you are constantly on a defensive tack. Now, if you are out of your element a good boss and training can counteract any suffering and help you regain your mojo.

Alignment with reward expectations There are two types of rewards, Intrinsic and Extrinsic, and both are important. Intrinsic rewards are related to the sources of satisfaction I've just referred to, and based on the personal growth and fulfillment you get out of a job well done. External rewards include your salary, social status, power and influence, and any other fringe benefits you receive from your employment. Your reward expectations need to closely match what you actually get for you to be satisfied. If there is a disconnect for too long between your expectations and what you experience you're getting, there's a good chance you will grow disenchanted with the work you do, or worse, you might not be able to pay your rent and food bills.

Alignment with the company's management culture and style It's in vogue right now to suggest that people do not leave their jobs but instead leave their bosses. Well, that's not always true. There are many reasons for leaving a job that have nothing to do with your boss, but an unsupportive or insensitive management is at the top of the list driving folks to hit the highway. I have left bosses who were stupid, arrogant, bullying, insensitive, and users. My question is always “Does this boss appreciate I have his company's interests at heart, and are my best interests an important part of the mix in his/her mind?”

0-0-0-0-0

If you find yourself out of alignment with your ambitions, skills and interests, reward needs and expectations, and management culture, I suggest you admit it to yourself first and then review your own hierarchy of values, and possible alternative outcomes. You may decide that 3 out of 4 areas of alignment is OK, and that you'll persevere where you are; you may choose to move on and let someone better fitted have a go, or you may find something in between. Whatever you decide, have a conversation with your boss or a trusted adviser in the organisation who you think can help you find the state of play from all sides. Don't try to blackmail a solution out of them; negotiate for an outcome where everyone gets something of what they want.

I want to be clear that you are responsible for meeting challenges and you owe it to yourself and the organisation to work through them together. But, if you can look at yourself in the mirror and are comfortable saying out loud that you followed through as far as you can for now and you're being thwarted through no deficiency of your own, you may be wiser to move on to plan B. If there really does not appear to be a way out and your misery is increasing, it's OK -- no, more than that, it's good sense to surrender to the what-isness of it and walk away.

What do you think? When do you believe it's not only OK, but healthy to walk away? Where is the line for you?

[Cross Roads – Glen Heald]