WHO LOVES YA?

[You Mean Everything to Me – Shawn Mullins – 1:40 (-2:04)

In the game of romance this song belongs right up there with the best – You mean everything to me..... and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Now alongside it I'm going to pose an alternate idea –

[Be Your Own Best Friend – Ray Stevens – 2:53]

We are all that we have. You are all that you have that is yours. You are all that you will ever have that is worth having. Other people may appear to have worth to you, but they are merely reflecting back to you parts of yourself that you may not yet have given a deep “Yes” to.

So we'd better start looking around inside ourselves for whatever it is we think we're missing. If we need anyone else to supply that need, we are – pardon my French - fucked. The general idea of human life seems to be for every one of us to grow up, awake and aware, and learn how to supply our own needs. Until we can do that, we're an emotional, social, economic, political and family liability.

Everyone needs Connection. That's one of the givens of being human. When we bought into the illusion of separation, though, we lost our sense of Connection and ever since have been clutching at straws of Recognition, Acknowledgment or Central Position. In the end we settled for Relationship. Relationship, based as it is on a (false) presumption of Separation, is the opposite of Connection....... Ponder, if you will, the futility of searching for what-already-is.

It is only when you want, but don't NEED a relationship, will it ever have a chance of working satisfactorily. No other person in particular has ever been appointed to love you as you think they should; that's your job. Nor can anyone ever love you enough to make up for you not appreciating yourself. When you wholly and gratefully respect, embrace and trust yourself you will find respect, love and trust flowing back to you in abundance. 

When you give up justifying yourself and simply approve of yourself , what other people think of you will never twist you out of shape. The trick, if there is one, is to find the balance point between passionately caring about others on the one hand, and on the other hand, respectfully and gracefully standing up for yourself. For me, that's still a work in progress. How about you – how are you doing?

This has been another Postcard From Out Here. I'm Barrie Barkla.

[Who Will Love Me As I Am? – Caroline O'Connor (A) – 2:34]