TALKING FOR TOMORROW

I bend an ear to the words I say
And  keep them tender and sweet,
Because I never know today
Which ones I may have to eat.

LISTEN

A good listener is welcome at any party,
And after a while, he knows a lot more
Than those who monopolised the conversation.

LOOK

You won't find a gem in every rock,

But it doesn't hurt to take a look.

Burmese Proverb

HOW TO PICK AN EVOLVING HUMAN BEING (from a Lost Cause)

• A Lost Cause says "Nobody knows". An Evolver  says "Let's find out."
• When an Evolver makes a mistake, he says "I got it wrong; got it!". A Lost Cause says "It wasn't my fault."
• An Evolver says "Thank you" whatever happens; he knows how luck works. A Lost Cause blames his bad luck, whatever happens. He thinks Gratitude is something you only dish out when you get what you want, the way you want it.
• An Evolver learns when and how to say "Yes " and "No". and is pretty clear about why. A Lost Cause hedges a lot around "Yes, but....." and "Maybe not..." at the wrong times and for the wrong reasons.
• An Evolver states "This is my intention....."; a Lost Cause promises "I'll try.........."
• A Lost Cause complains "I have to....."; and Evolver declares "I choose to...."
• An Evolver isn't nearly as afraid of losing as a Lost Cause is secretly afraid of succeeding.
• A Lost Cause is always too busy and never has enough time; an Evolver knows how to make time.
• An Evolver works through situations and conditions; a Lost Cause tries to get around them, and never gets past them.
• An Evolver makes commitments; a Lost Cause makes wishes and promises.
• Evolvers get up a head of steam and apply it steadily to the drive wheels to maximise traction. Lost Causes blow it all out of the whistle.
• An Evolver cleans up his messes; a Lost Cause shrugs and does it again.
• An Evolver is focussed on values, and knows where to take a stand, and where and when to negotiate; a Lost Cause is focussed on self-important issues, compromises the important stuff and fights over trivialities.
• An Evolving person acknowledges that he's doing well, and that he can learn and improve. A Lost Cause says "I'm not as bad as other people."
• An Evolving person builds a life; a Lost Cause repeats his childhood over and over until he dies.
• An Evolver listens attentively; he knows the creator gave him two ears and one mouth for a good reason. A Lost Cause waits until it's his turn to talk.
• A Lost Cause will do just about anything to be liked, ignoring the fact that it's costing him Contempt. An Evolving person engenders respect, and doesn't take too personally what other people think of him, except as feedback on how effectively he's representing what's important to him. 
• An Evolving person feels strong enough to be gentle and firm; a Lost Cause fears gentleness will be taken as weakness.
• An Evolver respects authority; a Lost Cause jealously resents it.
• An Evolver learns how to give direction by learning first to take it with grace and gratitude; a Lost Cause can't wait to start giving orders.
• An Evolver explains; a Lost Cause explains away.
• An Evolving being feels responsible for more than just his job; a Lost Cause says "I only work here."
• An Evolver feeds the Goose that lays the golden eggs; a Lost Cause can't wait to steal the eggs.
• A Lost Cause contents himself with "This is the way its has always been done"; an Evolver says "There has to be another way..."
• Evolutionary leaders spend their lives serving: others may erect monuments to them, but only after they've gone; Lost Causes start posing for their monuments before they've done anything very much. In fact, some Lost Causes do nothing but pose, night in -- night out.
• Lost Causes keep walking Westward, looking for a sunrise.
• An Evolver knows from his observations that a Victim's life doesn't work: Lost Causes race each other to see who can get to the bottom first.
• Evolvers look for ways to make a difference; Lost Causes look for ways to become "special needs".

JUST FOR TODAY.....

JUST FOR TODAY.......

Dr. William S. Hendrie

Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life's problems at once.

Just for today I will be happy. Abe Lincoln said it -- "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Just for today I will strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

Just for today I will adjust myself to whatever is, and seek to change those things that must, and can be changed.

Just for today I will exercise my soul three ways:-

1. I will do someone a good turn, and not get found out.
2. I will not show anyone how much my feelings hurt. They may be hurt, but I will be responsible for that.
3. Just for today I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, think high, act courteously, criticising not one bit. I will not find fault with anything, and not try to improve or regualte anybody other than myself.

Just for today I will have a Plan. I may not follow it exactly, but I will save myself from two pests: Hurry and Indecision.

Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.

Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful; and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

TRUTH

No valid values are impaired or destroyed
By learning a truth about them.

Falsities, beliefs and prejudices
Are allergic to the Truths of unbiased experience
And will die if sufficiently exposed to them.

Every time we surrender to a truth,
We are a little more free --
Less vicitmised and victmise-able
By superstition, righteousness, prejudice, ignorance, dogmatism and crippling vulnerability.
We get a little more clear air
And find ourself better able to discover and creatively engage
With new facts, new ways of seeing, new experiences and challenges.
We can claim to be a little better "educated".
We are more than ever ready
To hone and polish our being with the being-ness of others in a poised way.

SELF-IMAGE

Whether we like the results or not,
We are what we think we are.
We live up to our own deep,unconscious self-appraisal;
And from that same self-image
We teach others how to treat us.
Truth be known, we would all like that to be different,
But it remains so
Because we have no idea of what we're doing
To our self.
Wishing for things to be different leaves us ---
Wishing.

Self-Image isn't real; at best it is a partial reality. It is a perception, and like all human perceptions is doomed to be partial, incomplete and often misguided.

Self Image is one of the most basic programmes driving our auto-pilot. The inner images we hold of ourselves trigger very specific attitudes, which in turn have a profound influence on our contentment and effectiveness in life.

Self-image is merely an amoral seeding mechanism; it has no critical, judgmental or introspective function. It cannot differentiate between what might be harmful or beneficial to its host. Nor can it discriminate between actual experience and an experience vividly imagined in some factual or emotional detail. It has no vision outside of itself.

Self-Image dwells and operates from the sub-conscious level of our thinking;
Which is a fancy way of saying
Self-Image isn't something we think -- It thinks us.
For the most part,
We didn't even think it into existence in the first place,
It went in viscerally and emotionally.
That means two things --

1. While we may be able to explain away bits of it, self image is rarely based on fact and does not, of itself, make rational sense; and
2. If we want to change it, our rational mind is not up to the task -- we cannot reason ourselves out of anything that was not reasoned into in the first place.

Self images that are un-piloted, imbalanced, unrealistic, or programmed incompletely, vaguely, or aimed at a target too far out of range, cause our self-realising mechanisms to wander erratically, crashing us into the furniture until our self-propulsion systems either fail or self-destruct, or both.

Images stored within our brain, I am told by those who should know, cannot be willfully erased by us.  Barring brain damage, we are stuck with them for life. That's good news because, God knows, I tried for quite a while back there to zap my negative self-image into oblivion, and failed very miserably. It was comforting to learn, at last, that -- despite what I'd been told by the Positive-Thinking-SWAT'ers -- it isn't necessary.

Even better news is that negative or inappropriate self-images can be balanced out with equally valid counterparts, and integrated into a dynamic whole.

Evolution and transformation are not about getting better; they are about getting whole.

Permanent transformation of our personalities and behaviours relies on:-

1. A change in our perceptions (including our self-image and expectations)
2. A willingness to view the world and our place in it from as many different points of view as we can manage every waking hour
3. A willingness to try different strategies and behaviours, just for the heck of it.

Watch your self-talk feedback both before a challenging event and after it. How you respond to your performances is just as important (and revealing) as how you prepare for them. When someone asks you how you are, are you one of the 80 percenters who answer "Not bad". Why are we so disappointed when our catastrophising expectations are not met? Are you a "looker-backer"? Do you walk to the shops, look around and say to yourself "Well, contrary to my expectations, I didn't fall that time!"

A child watches adults walking and, encouraged by them, experiments, again and again. He just assumes that successful walking is part of the deal, and he can't wait to get with the programme. The child does not associate falling with failure; only as a temporary inconvenience, and a chance to adjust. He's not too fussed about HOW he walks, or how he looks while he's doing it, he just wants to get from point "a" to point "b" a little more efficiently than by sliding around on his bum. He gets up and tries again and again. Even once the skill of balance and locomotion is achieved, he does not stop there. Most children continue to practice and experiment, honing their skills and strengths. May be that's why there are so many accomplished toddlers in the world! Some of them take it even further and refine their skills into running, football, tennis and even ballet dancing -- things they never imagined possible when they first started trying to stand up.

Once we start on something, there's no telling where it might lead. 

But we do have to start. 

And that's where Self-Image comes in.

GOALS & PURPOSES

Goals are specific targets of achievement or attainment.
Purposes are the guiding sense of direction
That gives form and alignment
To the kinds of goals that will be pursued.

We humans have a primitive area of the brain - the amygdala --
In which all goals are directed toward pure physical survival.
We also have more recently developed areas of our brain
In which goals can be aligned to other levels of living awareness,
Such as security, social support, status and self-realisation.

It is important to note, however,
That the human mind develops ideas, concepts, opinions, perceptions and beliefs
Within every layer of conscious awareness.
Any threat to any of its constructs, in any level of awareness
Will be interpreted automatically by the mind
As a threat to its survival.
The threat may be real (rarely) or imagined (usually),
But mind cannot tell the difference;
If the threat is serious enough
We go straight to the bottom rung and start acting like a baboon in a logging camp.

That is our natural inclination,
But it doesn't have to be prescriptive;
We can intervene.
This is possible because, firstly, we are more than our ego mind,
And, secondly, we also have a built-in, adventurous Growth Instinct
That can be nurtured
To a point where it is able to exert a contrary influence
Over the tick-tock ego.

Every human being, still breathing, is more than a creature;
He/she is a CREATOR --
In fact the sole creator of his own experience.
You and I are the sole creators of our Purposes
And the Goals we select to give expression to those Purposes,
Triggered and motivated by our Imaginations.

Our ability to Imagine is one of the most powerful tools we possess;
We're all using it -- all of the time,
Whether we realise it or not.
We create by imagining,
And feeling what we want into existence.
Whatever we're experiencing right now
Was first imagined.

Napoleon cried triumphantly -- "Imagination rules the world!"
Einstein trumped that with -- "Imagination IS the world."

Think about that,
And your place in it.

The way you picture your world,
The way you perceive your purpose in it,
The things that you do to express your purposes,
And the mood and manner in which you do them --
Create the world in which you live.
You and I do not live in the same world --
There are slight differences in point-of-view,
Rather like the way our left eyes and our right eyes see things a little differently.
When we put them together, however,
We get a startling sense of depth, of "more".
Imagine, if you can, what god sees --
From billions of "I"'s, all seeing from a slightly different point of view!

IDENTITY CRISIS?

As far as I know....
The urge to BE somebody is pretty much universal,
At least around mating season.

The desire for Self-hood is not bad in itself,
But it starts to clag up
When we identify with our identity,
i.e. we begin to think that our identity is who we truly are.
That's as silly as thinking we ARE our business card, or our resumë, or the car we drive, or the school we went to, or the job we have, or the suburb we live in, or the school we send our children to, or the partner we have............
Or anything else we hold up as proof to our inner critic that we're worth the space we occupy.

Just as tragically silly as identifying with who we think we are,
Is seeking an identity in conformity to external standards,
In the approbation of someone else,
Or in the number, variety, and novelty of aforementioned material things we can accumulate.

Identity consists of two elements:-
Self Esteem ( a general, deep-down, inside-the-skin feeling of worthiness, or otherwise); and
Self Image ( a very specific, internally created picture of every talent, drawback, characteristic and performance we have, along with associated comments and feelings about each one).

Our Identity was almost totally instigated by those we opened up to in our early childhood,
And by our seriously incomplete image of those we've been impressed with ever since starting kindergarten.
In other words, our Identity was a ramshackle slum of adopted impressions,
Slapped together in a hasty endeavour to get liked.
And 80% of the people you meet are still stick in that infantile slum;
They have done bugger-all since
To create something for themselves --
Something that works better for them.

Some form of Identity is essential.
A particular Identity is useful as long as it draws us continually toward evolving;
It ceases to be useful when it is hopelessly anachronistic,
Or becomes deludedly unrealistic,
Or starts to cramp our current possibilities.

Being human is a condition of Limitedness. That doesn't stop until we die.
So if we want to keep growing,
We do have to deliberately keep stretching limits.
But life allows us the other alternative --
A repetitive treadmill of same-old-same-as,
Upright and dead, all the way to the grave.
If that's your choice,
You won't be alone.....

If it seems a little unfair that we have to persist with growing,
Console yourself with the realisation
That your life and mine are never short on opportunities for us to extend our tolerances.

Happiness and self worth arise naturally from setting internal standards for ourself,
Requiring ourself to live according to our internal guidance system (we each have one, you know),
Sharing around our values and what we do to real-ise them,
And stretching ourselves ever further into infinite possibility.

MAJORING IN MINORS

Most of our daily activities
Are motivated by a desire for peace of mind,
And devoted to relieving some tension
Between What-Ought-to-Be and What-Is.
Every time we think or say "I have to....."
We corrode our self-esteem
And give ourselves away.
I watch how less aggressive it feels to say to another
"I have to......."
Instead of "I choose to....."
It sometimes takes an act of conscious courage to declare my choices

This begs a question ---
How little of what we do each day is consciously and directly rooted
In expressing
What we've created ourself to Be?

Why aren't we more creative?

1. Lost or misplaced purpose
2. Fear of failure
3. Fear of success

Here's a meditation you might like to try..............

A MOMENT OF TRUTH

Make this moment here and now

A moment of truth about yourself.

Open up now to ways in which you may have been selling yourself short.

Accept the fact that you have the opportunity here and now

To open up to more 

Of the environmental, physical, mental, spiritual and emotional abundance

That exists all around you --

More than you could use up in a thousand lifetimes.

Contemplate ways in which you might be effectively fending off

All that life is ready to give you.

Abundance is not personally selective --

It doesn't deny you and bestow itself upon others.

If you're not getting what you want, and others are...

Consider what your contribution to that condition might be.

Open up to possibilities.

Don't demand -- that won't work;

Spoiled brats never get to satisfaction..

Loosen up on your idea of what you want ought to look like.

Depending on how long you've been so sure that Loss and Lack are the name of the game,

It may take some time to bring yourself around.

Be patient.

TRYING TO FIND YOURSELF?

How do you find what you already are? Try looking in a mirror.

If you're having a little trouble finding yourself;
I have three questions you might like to stand in:-

1. What are you looking for?
2. Where are you looking for it?
3. When are you while you're looking for it?

1. While you're trying to find yourself, what are you looking for? Your self is what you've already created. How can the creator not know its creation? Can you really not see yourself, or is it that you don't like what you have seen so far? Are you playing the "This ain't it" game? If you have any preconceived ideas about what you should look like, you may have trouble recognising yourself when you do find it? Do you still really think your self is going to look like you think it should?
2. Where are you looking? I know a whole bunch of people who travel the world looking for something meaningful: I wish them luck, I truly do. But, barring accidents, I don't like their chances. If you want to find something, it's a good plan to look for it where it is. You're not going to find "You" anywhere outside of yourself. The same goes for Meaning. Meaning begins and ends with you -- in your world. If you're waiting on getting the "meaning of life" first, so that you can then find out who you are, you're putting the cart before the horse. Who is doing that looking? Look at the seeker. As you find out who you are, the meaning of living becomes abundantly clear.
3. When are you looking? If you're looking for You anytime other than your here/now present experience, call off the search; you're wasting your time. The same goes for Meaning; trawling through the past may provide you with some explanations, but never Meaning.

We spend our time in the pursuit of Diversion

Instead of a pursuit in a Direction.

If you want to find yourself, you could wait until tomorrow. Then you'll at least find yourself a day older.

We're desperately searching for ourselves

Because we are bored with abundance.

No matter how empty we feel,

Every waking moment is full -- of something......

Plasma TV's, politics, causes to care about, family, work, social networking, drugs, religions, --ologies, travel to other cultures, volunteering for good causes, meditations, pilates, diets, dating lines, clubbing.........

We're full to the back teeth with emptiness,

So we try to cram it with more,

Including self-awareness fads and exercises

To make us feel as it we're accomplishing something.

The thing is,

No matter how much and for how long we gorge ourselves silly on sideshows,

They wear off overnight,

And in the morning, we're back to being ourselves --

Still looking for ourself????

The big mistake we all make at one time or another
Is that we ignore or reject outright
Anything we see that is judged to be "Not-Me".
Big mistake.
Sit with this for a while..................

There is nothing that you are not.
If you can imagine it, that too is what you are.

If there were to be anything that you are NOT,

Then you would not be.

Can you not see the absurdity of looking for our selves

When we are surrounded by mirrors?

Look at that person opposite you;

What we see is a part of what we are...

Start with that.

Any selective closing-down, contracting or rejecting of unappealing reflected glimpses of self

Blinkers down the whole seeing.

The iceberg sinks the whole ship,

Not just steerage class.

Everyone dances to a different drummer,

Sees through a different lens,

Perceives through a different filter,

And selects as a result of different programmes in his bio-computer.

Our constant, relentless pursuit of "happiness",

Our search for "something else",

Is triggered by a feeling of helplessness,

Brought on by a lifetime of rejecting reflections 

That could have led us to further self-discovery.

It's not too late.

While we can still draw conscious breath,

Life will continue to challenge us

To accept the limited vision we already have of self,

And to stretch the field of our imagining

Of what is currently visible, desirable and possible.

SELF-HONESTY -- THE GROCERY BAG TEST

How's your body these days?
Mine's getting better, thinner and more sensitive
Thanks to an improved regimen of care.
I can actually (almost) pass the Grocery Bag Test....

How about yours?
Is it fat and sluggish?
Gaunt and nervous?
Do you puff going up or down a flight of stairs?
What kind of fuel do you put into your once-and-only life transportation?
Do you clog it with pollutants,
Or hit-and-run, low-grade junk food that your organs have to work overtime to deal with?
Is your brain and liver pickled in alcohol?
Are your lungs slimed with nicotine?
Are your blood vessels clean and clear of cholesterol?
Are your synapses clagged up with drugs?

Do you view your body as an old heap
To get you from birth to death
With the least possible number of tune-ups and overhauls?
Are you dissatisfied and obsessive about it, to the detriment of other areas of your life?
Or do you look after it with loving consideration,
And gratitude for the opportunities for experience it delivers you?
Do you think "If my battery goes flat, I'll get a jump-start?"
Or "If my carby clogs, I'll get a by-pass"?

Get this.....

• You can't trade your body in on a new model. Once this one's clapped out, you're out.
• It's a bloody sight easier to DO good if we FEEL good.

THE 10-MINUTE GROCERY BAG TEST

Preparation time:- (2 minutes)

Test time:- (3 minutes)

Sink-in time:- (5 minutes)

Grab a large grocery bag (preferably paper -- plastic is not a good alternative, unless you're kinky)

Cut out a pair of eye holes.

Get undressed. Completely.

Pull the bag over your head and stand in front of a full-length mirror.

Now look.

What do you see? 

(The aim, remember, is Self Honesty. The bag is there to help you be more objective.)

Stay with it for at least 3 minutes.

Remove the bag, and allow whatever occurs to you.

ME

Through "Me"
The world recognises itself
As heaven.
Or hell....
Either way,
It doesn't mind.
(Only "I" does that).

EGO

I am, on occasion, the most
Responsible, allowing, caring, courageous, playful, adventurous, open, innocent, intelligent, gentle, curious
Person I know.
I'm also deluded,
So I could be wrong about that, too,
Except sometimes........

CRISIS

I am told......
In written Mandarin
The symbol for "Crisis"
Is a combination of symbols
For "danger" and "opportunity".

Well, the Chinese have been around th block a few times more than us.

A STAND -v- A POSITION

When we take a Stand on something
We create a context that frames and holds all possibilities
And allows them to be,
As we engage with them creatively.

When we take a Position,
We dismiss possibilities and resist Opposition.

For example....
I have a Stand that is "A world that works for all of us."
I also have a corresponding Position that sounds like "A world that does what's right."

While both co-operation and opposition may arise
Within both a Stand and a Position,
A Stand tends to encourage co-operation;
While a Position openly invites opposition.

A stand is a quality of space that allows possibilities to show up;
A position is more like a manifesto, an expectant demand that negates certain resisted outcomes.

A stand is expansive;
A position is restrictive.

A stand balances all options;
A position excludes certain alternatives.

A stand is contextual;
A position is conditional.

Stands are creative.
You may create as many as you want,
As often as you want....
The more, the better.

Positions make you "right".
If you're at all like me,
You don't need any more to ruin your peace of mind.
Good luck.

UNIVERSAL ANSWERS

When someone hits you with an either/or question.........

............................."BOTH"

When someone asks you what's normal...........

..........................."SOMETIMES"

When you're tempted to be dogmatic, try adding................

................................................"EXCEPT SOMETIMES"

When someone asks for your advice...........................

................................."I can't give you any advice -- I don't know you. I know only one person -- my self. But I can share what I've learned from my experience, if you like."

6 CHARACTERISTICS OF SELF-REALISING BEINGS

Self-realising human beings give away their being by the way they naturally express their selves. Their demeanour, and verbal and body language is peppered with genuine assurances such as .........

• I can........
• I look forward to.........
• I want to........
• I'll volunteer.......
• I choose to..........
• Next time I'll do it differently.
• This is what I'll do.........
• I'm feeling better about the whole thing; and
• Thank you.

THE SIX CHARACTERISTICS

1. Self Honesty
2. Self Acceptance
3. Self Esteem
4. Self Image
5. Self Requirement
6. Self Dimension

1. Self Honesty

Self-honesty is absolutely fundamental. Without a total commitment to be honest with our self, about ourself, we're duck-paddling in tight circles.

It you're not prepared to be ruthlessly self-honest,
Don't waste your time with the rest of this --
Without self honesty, nothing is going to get better for you
Sorry to be so blunt,
But self-delusion was never a good idea
To anyone but a coward.

We need to find the willingness and take daily time to step back from the fray, back from personal engagement, and take an uncritical overview of where we are and how creative and effective we're being in what's going on. We need to watch our selves as they relate to each other and to their environmental, social, physical, mental and spiritual natures. We need to abandon any urge to look either good or bad to ourself. We are grateful for the reflections from others, and we welcome any feedback from people who care enough about us and know us well enough to tell us what they see, without needing either to suck up to us, or to put us down.

Self-honesty arises from the inborn ability and a personal commitment

To create - within - a space of uncritical and uncriticised awareness

From which we observe ourself impartially. 

In this loving place we grant ourself the freedom 

To accept ourself as a unique, imperfect, evolving human-becoming,

And we commit to bestow as much attention to our potential,

As we once did to our supposed shortcomings.

2. Self Acceptance


It's a human trait that we act and behave in accordance with the way that we think we are and how we think we look to others, rather than the way we actually are and look. Those who learn to be fairly satisfied and creative with all of their qualities, values and features have a head start (pun intended) on those who don't.

Self-acceptance is our willingness, as much as we possibly can, to be fully oneself as that is unfolding, and to accept ultimate responsibility for the outcomes of what we are and do.


3. Self Esteem

As I see it,
We are not all born equal:
We don't have identical physical, mental and emotional capacities and attributes,
But we are given an equal ability, and right,
To feel excitement and joy,
And whatever the opposites of those might be,
In receiving and giving the gifts that come with living.
Really effective people rarely seem to question their intrinsic worth --
It is a given,
Even when they have nothing much more than a dream to go by.

Self Esteem is that deep-down, inside-the-skin feeling of worthiness.

You can't buy that.

No-one can give it to you, either:

Anything you are given by another, can be taken away again.

If any good feeling you have about yourself gets knocked around by circumstances,

Or even by how you woke up this morning --

That ain't it. That was not self-esteem;
There must have been a whiff of self-delusion in there somewhere.
Or maybe it's self-deprecation.
You do not have the slightest inkling of how corrosive self-criticism is
To your self esteem.
Why do we belittle ourselves?
Why are we so quick to downgrade the product,
When we haven't yet used it properly or effectively?

We can take all the classes,

Go to all the seminars,

And chant until we're blue in the face,

But Self-Esteem is the eye of the storm that finds us,
Often in the unlikeliest of places,

At a time when we're not looking for it.

Self Esteem begins with a perception of Capability:
You start building a bank of things you decide
You're capable of.
You look for, and privately celebrate, realistic things to add to it every day,
And actively look out for opportunities to test-drive them.

In self-esteem we magically become for ourself 

The loving, encouraging, empowering parent
We always wanted to be.

4. Self Image

What you see is what you get.

That's it. Bottom line.
If you want to get differently,
See yourself differently......
Deeply; a cursory quick-scan will not do.

Self-Image is a mirror image, at the deepest unconscious level of our awareness,
Of what we think we are,
And how we feel about that.
[The key word in the above sentence is "unconscious" --
Our self image is something we don't know that we know,
So it's not going to be accessible by normal means]

Our Self-Image marks the ceiling of possibility for our effectiveness and happiness.
By default, our self-image is taught to us
By people who thought they were doing the right thing;
They had no idea they were limiting our potential.
They didn't know any better....
Get over it.
Now you know differently;
That's evolution working.
Now it's your responsibility to continue the job of growing up.

What do you think about yourself?
How do you feel about yourself?
Our concepts of, and ideas and feelings about our self-image

Predetermine how we behave.
That connection is unbreakable.

Our ego is always CCTV-videotaping what's going on inside our minds (plural intended)

And pressing behaviour buttons that'll make us look and feel 

Either Good or Right.

Ironically, true self image looks like nothing,

And appears when you stop concerning yourself with how you "come across".

How you look and sound to others is none of your business;

It says more about them than about you.

5. Self Requirement

When I first put this article together back in 1983, I called this characteristic "Self Expectancy".

I've since changed my mind.

"Expectancy" has a lot to do with measuring one's self against some ideal standard

That is somehow externally sourced.

As such, we use that standard to whip ourself into some kind of compliance.

I tried that: it didn't work.

I've always had a problem with "complying"
With anyone or anything.

It may be just semantics,

But the phrase "Self-Requirement" works better for me,

Because it shifts the source and the responsibility squarely onto me,

And allows me to decide, moment by moment, what standard of response 

I require from myself in the current circumstances.

Self-Requirement allows me align my present behaviour with my consciously chosen

• Commitments
• Purposes
• Stands and standards
• Passions
• Desires
• Visions

Self Requirement gets its energy 

From a pure and childishly simple Optimism

That experience and learning are what I'm here for,

That Evolvement arises from Involvement,

And every circumstance is an invitation to have a go.

The old techniques of motivation --
Striving for success, resisting negative thoughts, competing, and faking it until I feel it........

Played a huge part in dropping me into depression.

The Optimism I referred to above 

That underlies self-requirement,

Is the key to the motivation that gets me through that black mud-hole;

Optimism and self-requirement get me up in the mornings.

6. Self Dimension


Perspective.
We've now come full-circle to where we started -- a loving self honesty.
Self Dimension takes us one step further now:
It is our ability reframe our perceptions,
To change the points from which we view a thing
And see things in differing lights.
It is our zest for occasionally stretching our eyes --
Looking up from the task at hand and seeing beyond ourself
Into a growing awareness of the purpose of all living,
And to see our place in that.
It involves our ability and willingness to balance and synthesize what we realise
Into a whole person-ality.

Consciously created self dimension begins

When we consciously turn away from ideas about "how life is" that contract and close in on us,

And turn instead towards a deliberately chosen perception of "how life  is"

That expands us,

And that offers and rewards us with

An (often surprising) growth of scope for possibility.

Within this expanding universe,
We set about exercising our vital abilities as best we can
Along lines of integrity and impeccability,
For no other reason than to see how it feels.
Daily living becomes its own reward.

NO THYSELF

To truly know your self,
You must abandon the desire to be understood --
By yourself, or anyone else.

I'm finding this hard to let go of.

PRINCIPLES & RULES

"I didn't break any rules!"
Is a defence of the morally bankrupt.

To obey a rule is a no-brainer;
Even vegetables can be trained.
You don't even have to acknowledge a rule's intent;
You only have to do what it says.
To live by a principle, however, is an entirely different matter.
It takes character, and some level of integrity.
You have to be upfront about a value you hold.
You have to think for yourself.
You're required to engage with the moment,
Take a deliberate stand (as distinct from a position)
And hold yourself accountable -- first and foremost --
To yourself.

A rule is merely an outward guide
Of what is socially expected;
A Principle is an inner expression of who and what you've decided to be.
It's personal;
In fact, it couldn't get any more personal.
And when you violate a principle,
You violate your self.
When you break a rule it may affect how other people think of you.
When you break a principle, it affects who you are
And what you think of you.
If you think that doesn't matter right now.....
Wait. And become aware.
You have to live with the consequences of what you're making of yourself,
And those consequences are not optional.
No matter how far and wide you travel,
Premium Business or Cattle Class,
You still have to take you, and your consequences, with you.

You see, God does have a wicked sense of just-is.