SELF-IMAGE

Whether we like the results or not,
We are what we think we are.
We live up to our own deep,unconscious self-appraisal;
And from that same self-image
We teach others how to treat us.
Truth be known, we would all like that to be different,
But it remains so
Because we have no idea of what we're doing
To our self.
Wishing for things to be different leaves us ---
Wishing.

Self-Image isn't real; at best it is a partial reality. It is a perception, and like all human perceptions is doomed to be partial, incomplete and often misguided.

Self Image is one of the most basic programmes driving our auto-pilot. The inner images we hold of ourselves trigger very specific attitudes, which in turn have a profound influence on our contentment and effectiveness in life.

Self-image is merely an amoral seeding mechanism; it has no critical, judgmental or introspective function. It cannot differentiate between what might be harmful or beneficial to its host. Nor can it discriminate between actual experience and an experience vividly imagined in some factual or emotional detail. It has no vision outside of itself.

Self-Image dwells and operates from the sub-conscious level of our thinking;
Which is a fancy way of saying
Self-Image isn't something we think -- It thinks us.
For the most part,
We didn't even think it into existence in the first place,
It went in viscerally and emotionally.
That means two things --

1. While we may be able to explain away bits of it, self image is rarely based on fact and does not, of itself, make rational sense; and
2. If we want to change it, our rational mind is not up to the task -- we cannot reason ourselves out of anything that was not reasoned into in the first place.

Self images that are un-piloted, imbalanced, unrealistic, or programmed incompletely, vaguely, or aimed at a target too far out of range, cause our self-realising mechanisms to wander erratically, crashing us into the furniture until our self-propulsion systems either fail or self-destruct, or both.

Images stored within our brain, I am told by those who should know, cannot be willfully erased by us.  Barring brain damage, we are stuck with them for life. That's good news because, God knows, I tried for quite a while back there to zap my negative self-image into oblivion, and failed very miserably. It was comforting to learn, at last, that -- despite what I'd been told by the Positive-Thinking-SWAT'ers -- it isn't necessary.

Even better news is that negative or inappropriate self-images can be balanced out with equally valid counterparts, and integrated into a dynamic whole.

Evolution and transformation are not about getting better; they are about getting whole.

Permanent transformation of our personalities and behaviours relies on:-

1. A change in our perceptions (including our self-image and expectations)
2. A willingness to view the world and our place in it from as many different points of view as we can manage every waking hour
3. A willingness to try different strategies and behaviours, just for the heck of it.

Watch your self-talk feedback both before a challenging event and after it. How you respond to your performances is just as important (and revealing) as how you prepare for them. When someone asks you how you are, are you one of the 80 percenters who answer "Not bad". Why are we so disappointed when our catastrophising expectations are not met? Are you a "looker-backer"? Do you walk to the shops, look around and say to yourself "Well, contrary to my expectations, I didn't fall that time!"

A child watches adults walking and, encouraged by them, experiments, again and again. He just assumes that successful walking is part of the deal, and he can't wait to get with the programme. The child does not associate falling with failure; only as a temporary inconvenience, and a chance to adjust. He's not too fussed about HOW he walks, or how he looks while he's doing it, he just wants to get from point "a" to point "b" a little more efficiently than by sliding around on his bum. He gets up and tries again and again. Even once the skill of balance and locomotion is achieved, he does not stop there. Most children continue to practice and experiment, honing their skills and strengths. May be that's why there are so many accomplished toddlers in the world! Some of them take it even further and refine their skills into running, football, tennis and even ballet dancing -- things they never imagined possible when they first started trying to stand up.

Once we start on something, there's no telling where it might lead. 

But we do have to start. 

And that's where Self-Image comes in.