WE WERE REALLY GOOD FRIENDS....UNTIL.......

We were really good friends.

It doesn’t matter how we first met. What’s important is that over time we seemed to hit it off well. We had differences, of course, coming as we did from different backgrounds, and very different life histories, but it didn’t matter. We got along, our families got along, we shared a few interests – it was a comfortable, even, social friendship that made no real demands on either of us.

Then, out of the blue, he did something that both surprised and hurt me. When I confronted him about it, however, he couldn’t seem to understand why I was so upset.

Then I made a mistake.

Instead of appreciating I had only a limited snapshot of him, and stepping back for a wider view, instead of looking more deeply into the reality of him, I assumed my existing version of him was correct, and began deducting marks from my score of him. I was putting him in “the wrong”. Without realising it, I hoisted our friendship from a horizontal plane to vertical. Relative to me, I made him “Lesser than”.

Then my inner judge popped up and began doing what it was well trained for… finding more instances where he didn’t come up to scratch. 

My scratch.

My second mistake…..

Assuming that among his life tasks, he was required to live up to my expectations of him. Now the rift between us was his fault.

In my eyes.

Now he doesn’t even seem to care about my extreme disappointment in him. He refuses to admit that he’s done wrong by me. I feel betrayed by him. 

Uncaring bastard.

Questions:

Which of us do you think would be freer and happier at this moment?

Why?

Who needs to change?