WORDS YOU MIGHT CONSIDER DROPPING FROM YOUR C.V.

PAUSE A MOMENT

WORDS YOU MIGHT CONSIDER DROPPING FROM YOUR CV.

[Broadcast 19^th March, 2014]

Good morning. I'm Barrie Barkla, inviting you once again to Pause a Moment. This morning, we're going to reflect on words you might consider dropping from you Self-Image, especially if you're selling yourself to a prospective employer.....

[I'm Different – Randy Newman – 2:35]

Picture this: You meet someone new. "What do you do?" he asks.

"I'm an architect," you say.

"Oh, really?" he answers. "Have you designed any buildings I've seen?"

"Maybe," you reply. "We did the new library at the university..."

"Oh wow," he says. "I've seen it. That's a beautiful building..."

And you're off. Maybe he's a potential client, maybe not... but either way you've made a great impression.

You sound awesome.

Now picture this: You meet someone new. "What do you do?" he asks.

"I'm a passionate, innovative, dynamic provider of three-dimensional social sculpture concepts and design services who uses a collaborative approach to create and deliver outstanding customer experiences."

And he'll off, never to be seen again... because you sound like a pompous ass.

So, if you wouldn't do it in conversation, why do you talk like that in your CV?

Do you--whether on your website, or more likely on social media accounts--describe yourself differently than you do in person? Why?

Do you use hacky clichés and overblown superlatives and breathless adjectives? Why?

Do you write things about yourself you would never have the nerve to actually say in normal conversation? Why?

If so, it's time for a change.

Now the bottom-line question for you: “Why do you try overly hard to appear to be what you already are?

Here's one for politicians listening ……..

[The First Family – Breakfast Conversation – Vaughan Meader – 1:30]

Do you talk to your wife and children over breakfast the same way you talk to me the second a camera is pointed at you?

If not, then I wish you'd change the way you talk to me. If you did, I might listen to you. And answer directly the questions that have been put to you.

The first rule of writing effective CVs is “Read the Job Specification.” The second rule is “Address All the Requirements and Criteria. The third rule is “Read the Job Specifications – again. Have you made it imperative for them to hire you?

Here are some words that are great when used by other people to describe you, but you should never use to describe yourself, especially in a CV:

[Gonna Build a Mountain – Buddy Emmons]

Fade under>>>>

"Motivated."

I love Chris Rock's response to people who say “I take care of my kids!” – You're supposed to, you drongo! Ditch the word "motivated." – “I am highly motivated to look after my children”. “I'm highly motivated to make a difference in the workplace.”  No kidding! Motivated to do it, but will you do it? Or will you just try to do it? Or, worse still, will you expend time and energy creating an appearance of doing it?

Here's a hot tip from one who has read more CV's than he's had hot dinners – never take credit for being motivated to do things you are expected to do--or be. Just do them, and Be! Require a bit more of yourself than whatever just scraped you through yesterday. OK? That's called self-motivation, and let the proof shimmer through the results you leave in your wake..

"Authority."

If you have to say you're an authority or an expert on something, you probably aren't. Let your authority speak for itself; demonstrate your expertise instead. "Presenter at Radio XYZ for 7 years” or "Delivered the Keynote Speech at the Weather Bureau's Forum for news media broadcasters in 2010", or “Qualified counsellor for Lifeline – 3 years” indicates I have a level of authority in certain fields. Unless you can prove it, spurious froth like "social media marketing expert" may just mean you spend far too much time on Twitter.

[Show Me – Julie Andrews – 0:56 (-1:17)]

Fade under>>>

"Global provider."

I'm a global provider of uplifting radio programmes: big deal!! Thanks to the internet, the vast majority of people and businesses can sell their goods or services worldwide; the strictly local ones that can't--like restaurants--are obvious. Only use phrases like "global provider" if that capability is not assumed or obvious; otherwise you just sound like a really small person trying to inflate yourself into someone really big and progressive.

[Buffoon – Freddy Gardner]

Fold under>>>>

"Innovative."

Most companies claim to be innovative. Most people claim to be innovative. I'm innovative, sort of. Most are not innovative at all. That's okay, because innovation is not a requirement for success. Nor does innovation guarantee success. “Innovator” is too often a desperate euphemism for “crackpot”.

If you are innovative, don't say it. Prove it in your CV by the way you shape it. Describe the innovative products or services you've developed. Describe the processes you've modified. Show the previously unrelated ideas you've catalysed into something new and useful. Give us something real so your innovation is unspoken but evident... unspoken is always the best kind of evident to be.

And if you really must come across as “innovative”, avoid dead giveaway PC clichés like “at the end of the day” and “going forward” and “everyone knows” and “team-building”. There's nothing innovative about clichés, except when they're used in a startlingly different context. And the usual purpose of a CV is to impress and persuade, not to startle.

"Creative."

If I see particular words or phrases often enough they no longer make an impact. “Everyone agrees” is one of them; "Creative" is another one. (Go to LinkedIn and check out some profiles; "creative" will appear in the majority. As if “uncreative” is something anyone would be proud of.)

"Creative" is just one example. Others include “extensive”, “effective”, “proven”, “dynamic”, “influential”, “team player”, “collaborative” ... some of those terms truly may describe you, but since they're also being used to describe everyone else, they've lost their impact. They come across as meaningless padding.

Fade out>>>>

"Curator."

Museums have curators. Art galleries have curators. Sporting grounds have curators. Tweeting links to stuff you find interesting doesn't make you a curator... or an authority or a guru. It's more likely to make you an annoying nuisance facing a quick click to the Spam folder.

[Steam Heat – Fosse]

Fold under and out>>>>

"Passionate."

“Passionate” has been used lately to describe/excuse people who vent their ill-temper on underlings, rort public money for their own gratification, run around sniffing office seats and generally act like spoiled brats. “Passionate” is not something I want to be described as any more, not in front of the grandchildren anyway. A principled, intentional cranky old bugger will do, thank you. Say you're incredibly passionate about something and--to me at least--you sound a little scary. The term smacks of anger or obsession. If you're really exhilarated about developing long-term customer solutions, try words like “focused”, “concentrated”, or “specialised” instead. They will be more effective with the reader. Save hot-blooded passion for your loved ones.

[Everything Old Is New Again – Huge Ackman (A) – 1:53 (-1:06)]

"Unique."

Fingerprints are unique. Snowflakes are unique. Bits of you may be unique in combination – maybe, but not nearly as many of them as you'd like to think--and your business probably isn't unique at all. Don't pretend to be, because customers don't care about unique; they care about "better" when it’s applied to what they’ll get for their money. Show how you're better than the competition and in the minds of customers you will be unique.

[Do You Think I'm Sexy? – Benzedrine Monks]

"Guru."

Here's a warning for wannabe holy-men: if you fancy spending your life on someone's pedestal, sooner or later you'll be knocked off it – nothing surer. I have a saying – “If you want to be a smart-arse, you'd first better be smart.” People who try to be clever for the sake of being clever are anything but. If you want to be a holy ponce, fine. Join a church, do the hard yards and become at least a bishop with a psychology degree. Don't be a self-proclaimed guru, ninja, sage, connoisseur, guerrilla, wonk, egghead or expert... it's awesome when your customers affectionately describe you in that way, but when you do it it's apparent you're overweening way too high.

"Incredibly..."

Check out some random biogs and you'll find plenty of further-modified descriptors: "Incredibly passionate," "profoundly insightful," "extremely captivating..." isn't it enough to be simply “insightful” or “captivating”? Do you have to be incredibly passionate? “In/credible” means you are beyond belief – not a good place to be if you want to instil confidence in your self.

If you must use over-the-top adjectives to describe yourself, at least spare us the further modification. Trust us; we already get it.

Most self-promoters go over the top, then have to race like hell to catch up to their own legendary status, either that or cover up their misrepresentations. I learnt early on in my acting career – undersell yourself, and let your genius emerge in the course of events, as a pleasant surprise to those who matter.

Those who don't get how awesome you are don't matter.

Do they?

Do they?

Do they?

[It Don't Matter to Jesus – Emily Zuzik – 5:12]