RELATIONSHIPS

Originally posted @ 9:07am 7/7/07

In the process of experiencing depression, I recently reached a point where I really didn't care too much about going on with this life, regardless of the pleas of well-meaning friends and rellies. Oh, I didn't want to slash my wrists or take an overdose of anything nasty: I was quite content to go on eating myself to death -- to die of "natural causes".

While I recognized their love, "I" selfishly baulked at the idea of going on living because someone else wants me to.

Then one day I realized two things -- firstly, that my father's old belt hardly made it around my girth any more; and secondly, that the extra weight I'd put on was the equivalent of carrying two full film boxes around with me 24/7. No wonder my legs and knees hurt, and I can't make it to the end of my street without having to stop for a rest!

I've now begun the process of reversing the swelling, helped more than a little by the later confirmation that Type-2 Diabetes has finally accepted my offer of a home. Actually, I didn't need to wait for the results of the GT test: forty minutes after I drank the glucose I felt lousy, and the feeling was horribly familiar.

So now I'm coming back for Me, and still finding incredible love and support from the same people who nagged me about my weight.. Which brings me to my point ---

In the realm of Duality, of which being human is a part, the strength of a relationship is related to the extent to which it meets the needs of the people involved. In the realm of One-ness, however, there is no relationship, only re-cognition -- thanks to the illusion of separation.