GIVING & RECEIVING

Never underestimate the beauty of giving
The gift of Receiving.
When you openly and gratefully receive something,
You are giving to the Giver.
Graciously receiving the bounty offered by another
Blesses and enhances both the giver and the receiver,
And opens us to the flow of all creation.

This is a flowing universe,
Ebbing and surging,
Expanding and contracting,
Creating and destroying,
Exploding and imploding,
Rising and falling,
Giving and receiving...........

The whole of nature receives from the earth, and its universal environment
All that it needs to be what it is --
Food, air, sunshine, a place to hang out.....
And nature, in turn, gives of itself
Freely and unconditionally.
No money changes hands;
No limits or conditions are imposed
By anyone or anything, except man.
Everything is free.
Everything.
Abundantly.
Each tree gives its shelter, each flower gives its perfume and colour
Unconditionally and without prejudice or favour.
(A tree doesn't look at a passer-by and say to itself "I'm not going to give my shelter to HIM!")
And, just in case you hadn't noticed,
This natural system works,
And worked for a long time before we showed up.

Whatever we human beings decide to be, we are supported;
Mother Theresa or Adolph Hitler --
Everyone is totally and unconditionally allowed and supported
By an abundant universe that celebrates diversity.
Whatever we decide to be,
Existence sets up the creation, makes space for us,
And gives us everything we need
To become what we think we are.
In return --
We have to give of what we've created.
Give, we must.
We have no choice but to give of what we are.
If we don't give willingly,
Life has a way of ensuring the flow of energy returns to Source,
With or without our consent.
This is the law of reciprocation, cause and effect, sequence and consequence;
There is no choice about it.
But we do have the option, the space, and the responsibility to Choose --
Choosing what-is to be as it is,
Choosing to participate or resist the flow,
Choosing what we decide to be and experience,
Which in turn influences what we will receive
From our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual environment.
We also choose what and how we willingly pay forward of what we are.
It is a law of life.

RADIATING, SERVING AND SHARING


Our giving can take the form of Radiating, Serving or Sharing.

Radiating is the aura that involuntarily emanates from the deepest core of our being.
Sometimes our radiance is in harmony with the images we have of ourself
And the facades we put on like make-up every morning
As we prepare to "face" the world.
More often, however, the radiance and the ego-generated images are out of kilter,
Generating confusion, misunderstanding, hesitation and distrust.
A person who ignores his/her own radiance and relies on the manufactured image,
Is almost certain to miss the radiance of others,
And be fooled by their appearances.

Service.
There's a lot of altruism wrapped around the concept of Service,
So what I'm about to say is bound to get up some nostrils.
Service is touted as the most noble of all endeavours, and as a highway to heaven.
Well, I beg to disagree. In my book
Service sucks.
It is (usually) just another phoney façade.
My father taught me Service and Sacrifice
(Notice how often those two are grouped together);
My mother taught me Sharing.
My father got a carefully cautious, polite wrap in his eulogy;
My mother touched lives, and her passing mattered.

My objection to service lies not in the altruistic act itself,
But in the motivation for it --
The place the server comes from in the act of serving.
It seems that people who Serve are in it for some reward,
They want something in return.....
A sale, a ticket to heaven, a convert, friendship, support.
When they don't get what they want in return,
Resentment surfaces,
A resentment that always existed, hidden within the holy cloak of Service.
Their serving is synthetic;
It is all give, with little take
And it is either coated with sticky adhesive (like flypaper), or loaded with barbed hooks (like an Italian mother).
Service has no internal warmth.
It is an act of pure selfishness.

Sharing opens up an ebbing and flowing of our deepest self.
Sharing has deep multi-way value.
As you look more closely into the act of sharing,
It becomes impossible to differentiate between "givers" and "receivers";
It is one process.

Sharing involves personal commitment and communion.
There is no resentment, no contraction, no conditioning;
Everybody wins and grows.

The difference between serving and sharing is one of attitude,
How you see it,
Where you come from while you're doing the altruistic thing.
The results differ, too.
Serving can be likened to sowing genetically modified seed --
The crop may be edible,
But you can't grow another crop from its seeds,
And God knows what other side effects lurk inside.
Sharing is creative and natural;
It is our nature.

Open sharing is genuine,
Both selfish and un-selfish.
To Share you must first know and love yourself;
You cannot share what you don't have.
If needs be, hold off on sharing until you can do it willingly,
And give only what you can afford to not-have.
When you give away something you cannot afford,
You are "sacrificing" --
The shittiest control game on the planet.

I use a number of analogies for Sharing -----
Consider a honey-bee.
The bee takes proffered nectar and, in so doing, spreads life-generating pollen.
Neither the bee nor the flower think about this,
Or negotiate a deal;
It just happens -- naturally
While the bee is being a bee, and the flower is being itself (pun intended)
I use the analogy of a raincloud
Which becomes so heavy with moisture
That it gives naturally of its life-giving water
So that it may be en-lightened.
To use another analogy that works for me --
A fruit tree in season becomes so burdened with its fruit that it is bowed down.
It is grateful when someone comes to pick its fruit
So that its limbs can rise again to the sunshine
And bear more fruit.

Neither the honeybee, the flower, the raincloud nor the fruit tree seek any reward --
They are glad of the enlightenment.
By the same token, a receiver ought not feel obligated,
For in taking what was freely and unconditionally on offer,
The receiver is giving.
No hooks, no obligations, no tit-for-tat, no unfinished business.
If you feel any sense of obligation,
Walk away,
And look at your contribution to that situation.

Service sucks
Sharing is the dignity of being
In action.

MASTER CLASS -- COMMUNICATION

Create what-is

Put it where it is -- in context

Be theatrical about it.

Junk communication serves the act, but not the purpose of communicating.

Real communication informs, makes a difference, inspires and empowers

People might not always get the whole gist of what you say,

But they always get where you're coming from when you say it.

Your words come from only two places --

The silences of your heart,

Or the noise in your head.

Where you come from is what you'll create;

Whatever song is going on in your head,

Is what they'll pick up on.

If you're coming from confusion, they'll get confusion.

If you're coming from "being right", that's what they'll react to, and be right about their reaction.

If you're singing a Victim song, they'll get you're a victim, and react accordingly.

It takes a lot of awareness and determination on the part of the listener,

To NOT take you at your own unconscious self-appraisal.

Straight-line what you have to say.
If there's a choice between straight, or sincere

Be direct, rather than sincere;

Sincerity is a vastly overrated virtue --

The village idiot is capable of being sincere.

Say what you mean, and mean what you say,

When you say it.

And create your listeners/readers as ABLE.

Communicate your feelings:

People see in pictures,

But they remember with feelings.

WHAT TO DO....?

The stranger it feels,
The more you need to do it.

THE GAME OF LIFE

Enlightenment is only a game.
In this game,
We deliberately lose something
So that we can find it again.
In the process, we discover something we'd formerly overlooked.

Enlightenment isn't the only game in town
But it's the only one where, when the game is over,
Everyone has won, and
You get to take the prize home with you.

Game on!

COMMITMENT AND DUTY

The international symbol for Commitment looks a bit like this ---

W

It means to put your arse on the line.

But what is the difference between Commitment and Duty?
And when does Commitment turn into Duty?

• When it stops feeling like a liberating of the life force in me, and starts to feel like I'm getting entrapped in a "should".
• When it feels like a narrowing-down, rather than an opening-up;
• When it becomes fixated on another, rather than giving expression to my deepest Self;
• When it feels like an obligation, rather than a willing engaging with, and a consecrating to, something larger than just the sum of myself and that which I'm committed to.

 This latter kind of commitment, to something larger than just the sum of parts, is the kind of commitment I look for in relationship. A relationship where the two individuals are committed just to each other and/or to "the relationship", can deteriorate into Duty. A relationship that stands committed to something more than just the sum of its parts -- ie. a context -- is far more likely to flourish, and nourish all those within coo-ee of it.

+++++++

Whenever I feel a commitment closing in,
I look for the prejudicial expectations that have crept in,
And replace each "should" with a "could"-----
"I should do this because........" 
Is replace by
"I could do this  because........., or I could do something else, like......"
Possibilities immediately begin to open up
And space is created to re-cognise the connection
Between what I was committing to,
And my heart's deepest desire.

Commitment is a deliberate, liberating, joyful, whole-hearted expression
Of my best self,
Willingly aligned
With becoming what I want.

In fact, you can't live life without committment.
In a way,
Under a camouflage of "duties",
Everyone is committed -- to many things and people,
But few truly acknowledge
"Committed to What exactly?"

What are your Commitments,
As distinct from your duties?

Only you can answer that, for you.
And some profound research may be required,
Because you may have a bunch of commitments
You don't even know about.
If you need some help, try this for starters ---

Create at least five endings to each of the following statement stems:-
(Jot down everything that occurs to you. Censor nothing -- if a thought pops, put it on paper.)

• One of the situations which seems to keep recurring lately is...........
• One of the things I'm really dead against is.............
• One of the emotions that I feel quite often is..........
• I often catch myself having uncomfortable thoughts like...............
• I am beginning to realise that I may have some kind of attraction for ..............

Look at your list now.
All these things you barely knew about.
Those things you're now looking at
You have an emotional investment in.
There is an element of Commitment in each and every one.

Now you see it:
Now they're gone;
The seeing IS the movement.

We cannot live without commitment,
But it's probably wise to unmask the energy investments that rob us of our well-being,
And commit a little more
To qualities that inspire us,
Don't you think?

YOUR SOUL MATE

Girls,
You're wasting your time looking/waiting for Prince Charming,
He is not to be found.
He has to be created.

Blokes,
The only way to find whatever you're looking for
Is to create her.

Over to you............

TAKE THE TRIP

The Trip is the raison d'etre of being alive;
Goals are just excuses.
Bliss lies in the journey, not the goal;
The proper purpose of Goals is simply to get started, to take a particular trip.
Goals are like sennapods,
They keep us moving .

Movement is life,
And life itself is the reason for living.
Becoming is the only purpose for anything.
The moment we stop moving, stop becoming,
We are dead....
Upright and breathing.

God is always beyond...........

A man spent his whole life looking for God.
He journeyed the world,  
Asking everyone he met , along the roads and in the marketplaces,
"I'm looking for God; have you seen him?

One day he got a bite --
"Yes," said a stranger. "He lives in this town. Here is his address," he added, handing the seeker a business card on which was printed in modest Times Roman 12-point-- "God", and a local address.
Eagerly the man raced off and hailed a cab to the address on the card. "I'm going to meet God," he excitedly told the cabbie. "I'm told he lives at this address!" "Yes," said the cabbie.  "That's where He lives alright. Been living there for longer than I can remember."
They drew up to a modest, single-fronted cottage in a side street. Sure enough, the letter box carried a small nameplate -- "God". Nervously, the man opened the front gate and walked up the path to the front porch. For a moment he stood looking at the front door. Finally he reached out to press the doorbell button, when a thought hit him. He froze. For a few moments he was paralysed by indecision. Finally, he lowered his hand, turned slowly away, returned to the street and walked away........

WISDOM

Did you hear the story
Told by Gautam the Buddha
About the blind man who spent his entire life arguing that Light doesn't exist?

What's the adage about "None so blind....."?

All thinking is groping in the darkness,
Like blind men arguing about light.

Seeing is altogether a different matter;
Seeing is experiencing.

No matter how hard or long we think,
Reasoning never leads to the experience of anything other than reasoning.
Without experience,
We become reasonably stupid
Rather than innocently sense-able.

Experiencing leads to in-sight.
With insight, arguments evaporate.

Think for yourself,
Experience for yourself,
Open all your senses,
(There are more than 5, you know)
And be a seer.

TRUST -- THE BEST DEFENCE?

I've done a fair amount of travelling alone,
In two or three of the worst-reputed crime areas on the planet.
And, after a wonderful incident in downtown Sicily, arguably the criminal capital of the world,
I noticed something -----
One of the surest (and easiest) ways to ensure the safety of your bags while you (eg.) go to the toilet
Is to ask a complete stranger to watch them for you.
Trust de-powers Deception.
I can't explain how that happens.
It's a mystery to me.
There seems to be something about innocent trust
That brings out the best in even the worst of us.
Watch a bunch of thugs on a bus
When confronted with the unjudgmental gaze of a little child!

I'm not talking about "trust" as a verb,
Or about trust as something given and/or received:
That's not quite it.
That kind of "trust" is a negotiation
And a product and function of existing dis-trust.
That kind of "trust", being positional and opposed/tied to Distrust,
Will attract an experience of distrust,
We get what we resist.
And there is no shortage of consters and manipulators around
Who are ever ready to oblige anyone who's on the lookout for betrayal.
When looking at chronically co-dependent relationships,
I'm often intrigued by a question --
"Who is the greater manipulator here --
The one manipulating, or the one being manipulated?"

I'm talking about Trust as a way of doing what we do,
An implicit assumption,
An unquestioned expectation,
A way of giving and receiving,
As a way of being;
Trust as a quality of space that we come from -- "trust-ness".

The magic of pure, innocent trust was at the core of one of the most extraordinary films ever made --
"Being There."
Trust transcends just about everything,
Because it plugs directly into the essential innocent nature of everyone and everything.
We are all innocent, inasmuch as we do not know what we know.

Have you never noticed that a truly innocent person is almost immune to deception?
It's well-nigh impossible to deceive a very young child!
They know. They've got you sussed. It just doesn't bother them much.

When one unconditionally lives in trust, one tends to attract it.
Trust and innocence create their own energy in an aura;
It becomes almost impossible for others, even criminals, to deceive you.
It is far easier to deceive a deceiver,
To victimise a victim,
To cheat a cheat.....
"I've been used!" is a perception that can only arise from a victim consciousness.
A true Innocent (as distinct from ignorant or naive) is never exploited or cheated,
He just doesn't see it that way.
And if he doesn't see it that way, it isn't so.
But the world disagrees with that and calls it "mad".

Who's going mad, I wonder.
The trusters, or the distrusters?

MEMORIES

Memories are uncompleted past experiences,
Arising as dreams,
Asking for completion.

A bird on the wing leaves no footprint in the sand;
An experience that has been fully experienced
Leaves no footprint in the mind,
Only the wisdom of the fulfilled feeling
In the soul.

How far back can you remember?
Research tells me -- probably to around age 3, if you are a girl,
Or age 4, if you are a boy.
It doesn't matter; my question is,
Whenever it was,
What happened before then that you cannot "remember"?
In your innocence then,
You lived each experience to the fullest of your capacity,
Leaving no residue.
Our store of memories began
In that moment we first hefted unfinished emotional business.

Memories are un-lived moments,
Hanging around for completion.
Once fully experienced, they will let go,
Done with,
Incorporated into the whole.
That moment will come to each and every one of us.
If not before,
At the moment of death,
Even sudden death,
When our life is flashing before our eyes,
Time is suspended
While we complete all that is incomplete.
For the person who has passed on,
There are no loose ends.
Those of us who are left alive
Are invited to square our side of the emotional ledger.
That's why we have rituals around saying "Goodbye".

DOUBTS

To a child,
Being an adult appears to be without doubt.
It's an act, a bluff.
That's why we waste so much energy in our teens
Trying to cover our doubts with Certainty;
We're trying to act "grown-up".
Most of us haven't yet fully matured beyond that point.

Maturity is the measure of how we handle our doubt.

I love my doubts (most of them, anyway);
They remind me of mystery and paradox
And put my "certainties" into a more realistic perspective.
My doubts prompt me to enquire,
And my intelligence grows.
After our mid-teens,
Faith and Belief are un-intelligent,
Except as prompts to examine our doubts.

KNOWLEDGE AND KNOWING

It has been said that "Knowledge is power."
I question that assumption.
The hiccup for me lies in the definitions of the words "knowledge" and "power".
The people most prone to use the motto
Confuse "power" with "control",
And "knowledge" with "knowing".

Power is another word for whatever it is that drives the universe.
I look outward and inward into the universe and see an awesome power,
But not a lot of cosmic manipulation or control going on.
Contrarily, I see Allowing to be the general rule.
It seems to me that, in true power, there is no need for control.
Control becomes an issue for much smaller minds,
A strategy adopted by those who feel power-less.

Knowledge is a pile of what we think we know.
Knowing arises naturally and unbidden from awareful, first-hand experience.
Knowledge is understood in the mind;
Knowing is "got", first in the gut, then radiating and infusing throughout the entire being.
Knowledge is disposable:
Knowing is forever.
Knowledge is limited and limiting:
Knowing is fluid and expansive.

Knowledge is cheap and easy:
Knowing can be costly, risky, and needs courage.
Knowledge can be bought off the shelf almost anywhere:
Knowing is available only from within yourself.

Knowing tests your capacity:
Knowledge occupies your memory.
Knowledge is a measure of your ability
To carry dead corpses around with you...
The older, the more revered.

Knowledge is borrowed and adopted.
It has to be proven.
It is a plastic caricature of Knowing,
Knowledge is an assumed decoration,
Without roots or fragrance.

Knowledge is fixed:
It has no life of its own.
Knowing is a continuous growing -- a living process.
It belongs to your consciousness and its evolution.
There is nothing to be proved.

Knowledge, no matter how great it is,
Makes not one iota of difference to your ignorance.
Knowledge allows ignorance to remain intact;
Knowledge simply covers it up with a camouflage of intellectual-ism;
Behind the borrowed words there is no experience.

Knowing dispels ignorance
Like light dispels darkness.

Scholars are learners:
Wise men are seers.
All wise men remain students:
But few scholars become wise men.
Scholars can deceive many people, especially themselves, that they are wise,
But there is no journey in a scholar's life,
Like a pole dancer, he slides and dances around on tiny podiums
Of what he thinks he knows.
There is no exploration of the Unknown or the Unprovable,
No discovery.

The wise man generalises;
The scholar specialises.
He zooms in and acquires more and more knowledge about less and less
Until he becomes an expert about nothing.

Knowledge is a purseful of counterfeit coins,
Of no value outside of its dead weight in raw material;
They sound impressive when you jingle them,
But won't buy you much of real value.
Only something genuine and real can be real-ised.

The wise man dis-owns everything that is not authentically his own.
He cleanses
And meditates.
He becomes aware of, and values the space and possibilities provided by his ignorance.
He discovers his Innocence,
His Inner-sense,
His I-know-sense.

Anything that is not author-ised by you
Is false.
The knowing of another stalls at the level of Belief,
And cannot become your knowing until tested (not confirmed or denied) by your experience.
You have to seek and search on your own.
You have to risk the unknown paths
In trust that, since others have found their truths and lived to tell the tale,
Yours will be available to you also.
Become as a little child --
Wide-eyed and wondering,
Shamelessly knowing nothing,
And experiencing everything

It can be difficult to disown knowledge,
Because knowledge gives you a measure of respectability in the eyes of your peers.
If you accumulate enough great knowledge, it may earn you some fame, framed certificates and perhaps even fortune.
Thousands get to know you --
Everyone except you,
(And the people who have to live with you.)

Superior knowledge is great for your ego,
You get to strut your stuff;
But ego, being borrowed, can thrive only on things borrowed.
There is no author-enticity.

Scholars, by and large, do not discover new truths.
Rather, they sit around like cud-chewing cows,
Hiccuping up and masticating over second-hand ideas about truth.
The perceived validity of the truth
Is measured by the perceived stature of the person who is mouthing off about it.

I'm reminded of Aesop's fable about the five blind men who went to see an elephant.
As I remember it, one man took hold of a leg, one grasped the trunk, one had an ear, another grabbed the tail, and the last one had hold of a tusk. Each was then asked to describe an elephant.......
Even speaking from our own experience ,
We're all in the same bind --
Claiming to know The Truth about something we have only a limited hold of,
Talking with certainty about things we know nothing about.
Armed only with knowledge, we are like --
The blind discussing Light,
The deaf discussing Music
The noisy discussing Silence.

Reputation, respectability and comfort
Are symptoms of a slow death.
Your only saviours will ever be

• Your own realisation of your own truth,
• Your own knowing of the meaning of life; and
• Your own experience, and the insights (not conclusions) you gain from it.

Experienced experience is wordless;

It is a taste, a nourishment.

It fulfills you.

The word "love" is not love.

Nor is the idea of "love" love.

When you have experienced love,

Both the word and the idea-of become superfluous.

To think about water is one thing --

You could get a PhD on your thesis about H2O,

But you'll never quench your thirst on it.

A thirsty wise man goes to a well, not a library;

He does not review all that he knows about water,

He simply drinks it, and is satisfied.

Thinking is a game,

A pastime to titillate you when you do not know.

When you know, thinking-about is unnecessary.

Believing is a game,

Another pastime to titllate you when you do not know.

You believe when you have not experienced for yourself.

The only trouble is,

Your mind can't tell the difference;

It reacts to a belief as if it's real.

What happens in you when you see a glorious sunset?

I catch a thought - "What a glorious sunset"

And the experience dies instantly. Thinking kills it. I'm out of it.

To get it back, I used to turn to the person next to me --

"Look at that beautiful sunset!"

And immediately kill it for both of us.

Words are a barrier to your experience;

They are a commentary, a judgment, an attempt to prove that you are sensitive, a showing-off.... ego stuff.

Nowadays I just..... shut up.

As far as I can in the moment, I be-with the sunset,

And allow others to be-with their experience of it, too.

I just want to Know the sunset.

Maybe we might talk about it later........

Maybe not.

Some things are too precious to blurt about.

INTUITION

Teach not how to be,
For how can I know the path of another?
Impart the language of the body,
Share the language of the soul,
Reveal the nature of the mind,
Radiate the nature of the spirit --
Make all your tuition --
In-tuition.

Let "the facts" take their rightful place as superstitious half-truths.
They, along with all laws, opinions, beliefs, doctrines and -isms
Are the fodder of Tuition.
They are external props we turn to for comfort
When we have sold out on our Intuition.

NORMAL

Greek mythology tells a story of a rather shifty guy called Procrustes (which literally means "He who stretches".)
Procrustes ran a roadside B & B whose house speciality was what he advertised as "a very unique guest bed". Theseus, who happened to be passing through the district one evening, asked Procrustes what was so special about this bed. Procrustes boasted "It's length exactly matches whoever lies in it."
It turned out that Procrustes, like you and me, had a thing about people fitting his opinions of what is ideal, and got his jollies by stretching short people on a rack until they fitted the bed, and lopping bits of legs off people who were too tall. (Needless to say, before the night was out, Theseus gave him the opportunity to get a taste of his own medicine.)

I have a problem with terms like "ideal", "average" and "normal". They strike me as cute, artificial mathematical and psychological niceties that bear no practical relevance whatsoever to the realities of human difference.
An "average, normal" person does not exist.

Principles, laws, moralities, doctrines, and theories started out as the observed averages of someone's experiences in an attempt to find some sort of structure and  order in the chaos of profusion we call Existence. But somewhere along the way, the observations turned into rules, which we now expect each other, other realities and ourselves (except sometimes) to conform to.

The main problem I see with an imperative to Conformity is that
The driving influence of evolution is Non-conformity;
It is the exceptions to the normal, the breakers of moulds, the up-heavers of the earth's crust
That trigger and fuel the processes of growth and renewal.
Without them, life begins to stagnate and die.
Conformity kills.
Somehow each of us is struggling to find a balance in our lives
Between two opposing urges -- Conformity and Origin-ality --
Which both arise from the most primal of all urges,
The will to survive.

As I see the what-is of this,
The Average and the Particular rarely, if ever, fit in every respect --
Not without some stretching and/or pruning.
In a quest for efficiency and control
We reach for conformity,
And get monoculture,
Which, being totally artificial, brings its own set of problems.
Mono-culture is un-natural.
Normality is a comforting fiction.

Procrustes' guests never came back for seconds;
Why do we?

THE DIGNITY OF RESPECT

An aura of Dignity
Is the outer evidence of inherent Respect.
I find true respect to be a state of honour, esteem and trust in the whole nature of Self,
A state of being that is shared unconditionally with other people,
And the nature of all things.

Respect for others begins with respect for one's self,
And ends with the loss of self-trust and self-respect.
When we say we've "lost our respect" for someone else,
We usually mean we feel unsafe in their presence;
We no longer trust the security of our Self.

Most of us lost touch with self-trust and respect
When we sold out to respectability.

In its stead we replaced self-respect with self-justification,
And respect for others
With a veneer of (sincerely felt) obedience, politeness, tolerance, friendship,
A show of support,
And maybe even awe and reverence.
None of those things is, of itself, Respect.
The shell is therefore brittle,
As evidenced by how we react when someone we thought we respected
Does something, as all humans do from time to time, contrary to "character".
We feel let down, affronted and suddenly awfully vulnerable.
When we get upset about it,
It's a good sign that we were kidding ourselves:
What we felt for this person was something far less than genuine respect.

But we'll rarely cop to that;
We'd rather blame the "other' for betraying us,
And feel hurt and right.

LIFE & SURRENDER

Life is a process,
Always complete, and always completing itself.
Life is a constant over-coming,
Over-going beyond itself.
Everything is complete in itself
And
Evolving to be better, more beautiful, more powerful, more.........
Life is Evolution,
Progressively linear and quantumly leaping,
Continually transcending itself.

Anti-life is the opposite of all that --
Against evolution,
Keeping us stuck in righteous dogmas, beliefs and opinions --
In non-experience.
(You can include any and every belief system and religion in the category of Anti-life).

Life seeks to express itself
In an exuberance of Being.
Why on earth do we work so hard to suppress that?
Surrender to life!
Life surrenders to itself.
Rejoin the club!

There are Laws of Life
That supersede any "laws" made by man.
What I call the Ruthless Rules of Reality will be obeyed,
Whether you know about them, or believe them, or not.
It might be an idea to find out what they are,
Don't you think?

Surrender to the way things are;
Surrender to the feelings of your heart and soul;
Surrender to the intelligence of your mind;
Surrender to the intuition of your spirit.

If you cannot surrender to this life,
You will be commanded
By things outside of yourself.
The question arises, then, whether you choose to obey commands,
Or surrender to living.
Who or what has the authority of your life?
These are choices that you get to make,
Consciously or otherwise.

No scripture is as old or as wise as Consciousness,
Perceived by your body, mind, soul and spirit.
No messiah, saviour or priest is as authoritative as your own conscious awareness.
If you will not surrender to your own life,
You put yourself at the beck and call of "others".

Gods surrender;
Cowards obey.

BELIEVING AND KNOWING

Knowing is yours;
Fresh and original.
Believing is borrowed,
Stale and copied.
Believing is a bit like one of those umpteenth-generation copies of a defective video
That people send in your emails.
Any belief is a copy of someone else's limited conclusions
About a long-dead experience.
A belief is as nourishing and tasty as someone's press review of a long-gone-cold restaurant meal.

Believing and disbelieving come cheap.
You don't have to invest yourself,
Investigate for yourself,
Or think or feel for yourself.
Belief is for the lazy --
A way of existing without living;
A way of being right
Without having to put your arse on the line.
Victims love believing --
They know they're gonna be let down,
Another thing to be right about.

The getting of Knowing
Involves effort, risk and courage,
And the willingness to navigate the doldrums of belief-less Not-Knowing.
No-one gets to Knowing without passing through Not-knowing.
And all minds hate not-knowing.

And if you believe any of the above
You haven't been paying attention.

Do beliefs have any useful function?
I think so.
They make temporary connections between points of real experience,
Bridging intervening gulfs of what I don't know.
They make good temporary ladders and scaffolds
On which I can climb to a different viewpoint
Enabling me to see from a different perspective.

But the key word is "temporary".
They should be used and demolished as quickly and as often as possible,
Before they become part of the landscape.

LIVE DANGEROUSLY

The crowd lives tepid, lukewarm lives,
Neither hot nor cold,
Avoiding extremes,
Always carefully manoeuvring safely along a mid-line crisis.

Those who are obsessed with safety and security
Will never be explorers, discoverers, or even first-generation settlers.
By the time they feel safe enough to move anywhere new,
Their destination will be well and truly stale, sterile and out of date.

Knowledge is cold.
Knowing wisdom is hot.
A lukewarm life is neither living nor dying;
A living death and a deathly life
Leading where?
To the grave.
Every one of our securities and safeties leads to a living death.
You want to be a zombie, surviving just long enough to die?
Yes? Well, that's your prerogative.
But when you get to the threshold at the end of your days
You will be asked, as you surrender your consciousness to the gatekeeper -
"Is that all there is?"

Opportunity dances seductively before you!
Dance with it, as if no-one is watching.
However and whatever you're feeling,
Celebrate your ability to feel it!
One who has lived totally, intensely
Comes to know the deathless within him.
The grave may be waiting,
But not death.
He got Death out of the way long ago
So that he could get on with Life.

FEAR

If you're afraid of danger,
You do not yet know your immortal self.
Fear shows up our ignorance,
That's all.

JEALOUSY

Jealousy is a very compulsive, insane, irrational form of Inadequacy
With a sneaky Get-Out-of-Gaol-Free Card thrown in.
The sufferer tries (often very successfully) to make someone else responsible
For making him/her feel Enough and Sufficient to himself.
As a strategy -- "I make myself feel jealous to feel adequate and happy" --
It's doomed to failure.

As a generality,
Men and women have differently flavoured jealousies
That haven't changed since our days as trogolodytes:
For a woman, Jealousy sounds like "I cannot survive without this person."
For a man, Jealousy sounds (and looks) like "This person is My Property".

Jealous people suck.
And bully. And manipulate and control.......
And they are amazingly successful at finding willing victims
Who get their jollies out of being loved that way.

People who are comfortably enough with and for themselves
Don't get jealous.
Ever.
And they tend not to get emotionally entangled with people on the lookout
For someone to cling to.

So if you get a twinge of jealousy,
You now know where to look.
If you feel someone suckering onto you,
Walk away.
It's the kindest and most empowering thing you can do
For both of you.

NEGATIVE SELF-IMAGE

Your negative self-image is the bastard brainchild
Of your Inner Critic and your Fear of Not-surviving.

Your negative self-image is almost certainly hidden from you --
Your ego is obsessed with looking good,
And your NSI is nastier than you know;
Your mind will do anything to keep it out of sight,
From others and yourself.
Over the years, you and others may have caught an odd glimpse or two of bits of it,
But I venture to suggest you have no idea what the whole thing looks like.
You are terrified of it,
And you have every right to be.
You created it to help you get along,
But your creation has turned feral on you.
Your Negative Self-Image is the Mole that very effectively arranges to sabotage
Your highest endeavours and aspirations.

Get this......
Your negative self image DESPISES you.
It has no respect or admiration for you whatsoever.
When you sold out and turned your life over to him/her
It lost all regard for you and your wellbeing,
And so did you.

Do you think it might be a good idea
To find out what it is?
Do you have that much courage and commitment?

SELF-ESTEEM

Old habits sometimes die hard.
I still catch myself occasionally concerning myself about what someone else thinks of me.
(Especially my children and grandchildren).
What am I not giving to myself?

If I need someone -- anyone -- "liking" me,
It's a sure sign of the presence of guilt, embarrassment or shame,
And that there is some liking to be done over here in my space.
If I need someone to respect me,
There is some self-respect lacking here in my own backyard.
When I'm not liking or respecting myself,
I'm unconsciously teaching others to not like or respect me, too.
That's how it works.

Despising oneself and expecting others to fill the Affection Deficit
Is, at best, unrealistic, and
At worst,
A shitty Testing Game
Of manipulation and control.

If we don't respect our self,
The rest of the world will end up agreeing with us --
Most of them anyway.
When we do like and respect our selves,
What others think and feel doesn't much matter
To our peace of mind.

A SELF-EXAMINATION -- ANGER

Consider the following questions. Find at least 5 answers for each.

• How am I creating so many situations to get angry at?
• What does anger do for me? What are its positive benefits? (There are some, or we wouldn't do it.)
• What could I possibly be believing that causes all these frustrations?
• What expectations do I have of other people and myself that are not being met?
• What might I be putting out that attracts in others the need to irritate me?
• Why might I believe that, in order to get what I want, it's best to get angry?

Complete the following sentences with at least 5 different endings:

• Looking at what I've just written, I'm beginning to realise.......................
• Looking through the above discoveries, I could reduce my contribution to fuelling my own anger by....................
• If I were less angry, less often...................................

A SELF-EXAMINATION -- BELIEFS AND OTHER LIMITATIONS

The purpose of this meditation
Is to listen to the thoughts and feelings,
And the beliefs and limiting attitudes
That the questions provoke.


Please don't treat this meditation as an inquisition --
Be firm, loving, gentle, and empathetic in your probing........

• Complete this sentence stem at least 10 times --- "To be a better person, I should......................"
• For each ending, ask "Why?" Write down at least 5 responses to each.
• For each sentence ending, now substitute the stem -- " If I really wanted to, I COULD.............."
• Then, for each sentence, gently enquire "Why haven't you?  Again, write down at least 5 responses to each.

Be with those last responses,

And allow whatever happens.

To happen.

Be aware.

Be the uncritical Watcher.

List all the negative messages you got about anything you can remember, from 

• your immediate family,
• your relatives,
• your teachers
• your other authority figures
• your friends
• your church

Observe and allow any feelings and thoughts that arise.

Wherever there is a problem

There is something yet to KNOW,

And a possibility you've overlooked.

List any problems you're having with --

• your Body
• your Finances
• your Work
• your Relationships
• your Love Life

What kind of thoughts are you having that feed into this problem? Be specific.

What do you know about yourself in each of these categories? Write each belief down. Censor nothing. When the Belief List is exhausted, look at each one in turn, and gently ask yourself -- Is this really true, in every case? 

Or are there times and places when the opposite is true? 

What are those times and places?

THE HARDEST THING TO SAY.....

Stand naked in front of a full-length mirror.
Look who you see there in the eye............

I love and accept you exactly as you are.

Repeat until all traces of discomfort or smugness disappear.

NOW AND FUTURE PASSED

THE PAST

The past is a just a grab-bag of imperfect products of experience and soul-memory, re-hashed now.

One thing I've noticed about past history -- for most people it keeps repeating itself.

People who drive down the freeway with their heads glued to the rear-view mirror
Keep crashing into things.

THE FUTURE

The future is nothing more than a bunch of imagined effects and possible consequences of what I create now.

The Past and the Future are constructs of the mind. Psychologists assume (usually safely) that the best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour. It's a fairly safe assumption because the nexus between Past and Future can only be broken by a conscious, deliberate act in the Present moment and most people, outside of a sneeze or an orgasm, are rarely, if ever fully present and available to Now.
The assumption of connection is totally invalidated, however, if there is any kind of conscious intervention or reinvention in the present.
Whether the connection between the so-called Past and Future is intact or broken, answers for the future do not lie in the past; they spring from questions asked here and now. If no creative questions are asked now, now will merely repeat itself ad infinitum.

NOW

Without Now, the past and the future do not exist, even in fantasy.
Now is not only the fulcrum,
The balance-point between the Past and the Future,
The Present is also the father,
The source of both the Past and the Future.
Which came first -- the past or the present?
The present.
Without this present, there is no past, or future.

Now is the greatest "I" has ever been, and will ever be;
Evolution does not slide backwards.

Now is the source and the purpose of all I once was
And the launching pad for what I will be.
Why waste time and energy pondering who you think you might have been in the past
Or what you think you might become in the future
When you don't know who you truly are now?
When you finally get around to knowing what you are now,
There is nothing to justify --
So the past is no longer important
(When your destination is in sight, the map of how you got there is irrelevant).
When you finally get around to knowing what you are now,
The future takes care of itself.

Every Now moment is a permissive virgin;
Learn to live in harmony with this now.

Instead of trying to squeeze yourself into something you think you ought to be,
Get to know who you are now;
(How hard can that be?)
If you want something to remember in your old age,
Make each now moment memorable;
Live it as fully as you can stand..........
And then some.

"What will become of me?" your mind cries in some anguish.
What will you become?
You will become what you already are -- YOU.
Get comfortable with that.
If you're really desperate to change what you become,
Make some choices to expand what you are now.

You're living an adventure.
Do whatever you're drawn to
And cop to the consequences.
Be a "yes" sayer.

This is the tyranny of Now --
Now never ends. Now is forever.
It has never been any other way,
Except in the glovebox of your mind.

HAPPINESS

I have a "What-If" for you.
Your head ain't gonna like it.
But if you can stand in this possibility for a while,
Not because it's The Truth -- it isn't,
(Well, not entirely anyway)
But because you might, as I did, get a shift in perspective about this enigmatic no-thing
Called Happiness.
You might loosen up a bit about how equivocal it seems to be.........
Wouldn't that be something?
Wouldn't getting happy be worth telling your head 
To get knotted somewhere else for 10 minutes
While you take a bath in hot possibility?

PRO-POSITION

Everyone is happy,

All of the time,

Because we are all, according to our will,

Doing exactly what we want to do,

Feeling exactly what we want to feel,

And experiencing exactly what we put out for.

We're just not happy about being so happy and successful!

Why?

Because we haven't realised what's going on.

If you're ill, and suffering about it, there's something you haven't "got" yet.

If you're feeling (angry), it's because you aren't done yet with the experience of being (angry).

If you're feeling impoverished in any way,

It's because there's some emotional juice in it for you.

If you're unhappy, it's because you choose to be this way.

And you are HAPPY in your misery.

You are being whatever you are being

Because that satisfies some need in you right now.

Now, the question is --

"What is that need? Why would someone do what I'm doing to myself?"

If a carpenter hits his thumb with his hammer,

He's not doing it for nothing;

What might the supposed payoff be?

Sympathy? Time off work? Compensation? To get some hold over The Boss?.........

(Fill in your own answers)

As pre-toddlers

We all got scared that our essential needs might not be met.

So we sold out on our natural happiness

And adopted Unhappiness

To manipulate others to look after us.

It wasn't neccessary -- we were mistaken about that, too.

But we developed a belief in Unhappiness
As  valid way of responding to a challenging environment.

Manipulation fairly quickly turned to efforts to dominate and control,

And we've been hard at it ever since

Trying to prove that the best way to get to Happiness

Is to be Unhappy.

We've missed a few startlingly obvious points --

• The strategy is not working. Du-uh-uh-uh!
• We've gotten old enough to take care of our own needs.
• Our personal Happiness is our business, no-one else's
• Happiness is not dependent on any one or any thing, and it will not be manipulated; it can only be accepted and realised out of What-Is.

Happiness begins to peep through the storm clouds when we realise --

• There's no other entity I would rather be than my self,
• There's no other place or time than I would rather be than here and now.

MANIFESTING ABUNDANCE

 A PROCESS

OF FEELING

.1. Contemplate the thought

.2. Embrace it with a feeling

.3. Bring it forth

.4. See yourself not getting it.

.5. Let it go

First there is the Thought about what you want. Harbour it, without need. State your intention. What is the feeling you want to experience? En-joy the thought behind the desire for its own sake. Receive the love of the simple act of contemplating. See it in your mind's eye. Image-ine it.

Next, become aware of the feeling through which the desire arrived. Perhaps that feeling was a kind of longing, perhaps it was more one of frustration. Whatever that feeling was, acknowledge it in gratitude ("Thank you for bringing me this desire"), and then let the feeling go. Then build on the feeling of gratitude; thankfulness for the ability to create what you want here/now in your experience. Allow Gratitude to enfold the idea. Surrender.... surrender...... surrender...... without giving your power away. Loosen up on what you think what you want should look like. Open up to what you really want; express that as a feeling you want to have as a result of getting what you want. Realise that that feeling is known to you (we cannot desire what we don't know) and is already available to you, with or without whatever you're trying to create. Connect with that. Give it to yourself. As a good gardener prepares the ground for the seeds he/she wants to grow, prepare yourself to receive and nourish what it is that you desire.

There. Step .3.  -- Bringing it forth -- is already taken care of. Here it already is. It now exists in your experience -- the only place where it will ever exist for you anyway.

Now, the hard bit. See yourself without what you think you want and sit with that until you're entirely OK with it. It is a law of creating that --

You cannot have that which you're not willing to NOT have.

Ah, the Positive Thinkers don't tell you about that one, do they? They resist the idea as "negative". Maybe that's one reason why they eventually lose what they amass, and find they've missed out on what they really wanted all along.

Do you still feel Scarcity or Lack?

That is what's stopping you;

It's crowding your space.

Wanting anything will leave you ---- wanting.

Your wanting is filling you up,

Leaving no room for anything else.

What you want sees the "House Full" sign

And moves on somewhere else.

Do you still want the Wanting?

No?

Then let go of the wanting.

Let it go; create some space,

And welcome whatever shows up in that space.

If you cannot be entirely OK with not getting what you want, take a step back to the next best option and get happy and calm about your resistance to the idea.

*********

"I Am" is all that there is. So contemplating what you want, or something better, into light, and embracing it with a welcoming feeling brings it forth from the "I Am". It is created. Don't intrude. Let  go of it, support it, set it free. Release that creative desire into the infinite universe and let existence do what it does every moment -- manifest desire. Trust that it is so.

(I'll let you in on a secret -- what you want actually already was so before you became aware of the thought of wanting it -- but I didn't tell you that at the outset because you probably wouldn't have believed it. Even if you don't believe it now, "I Am" doesn't care. What is so, is so, regardless of what we believe. If we don't believe it, it probably won't show up for us, that's all. But it will for others, because it exists)

Everything you have ever wanted, and everything you ever will want, exists and begins in and with you. Allow it to come forth! Get out of your own way!

So Be It.

Amen.

I already have abundance.

Sitting here in my cottage,

Writing this to you,

Looking out at my garden, with the sunlight flashing off the leaves like a universe of stars,

I have abundance.

My awareness is full.

I have eaten, and there is more food in my refrigerator than I can eat without making myself sick. I am sheltered from the wind and the rain, and although I do not have much money in my wallet, it is more than I can spend right here at this moment.

Right here and now,

I have Abundance.
How about you?

To find otherwise, we have to work hard;

We have to start worrying 

About an imagined future -- a phantasy.

How about you?
Contemplate the difference in feeling between Scarcity/Lack and Emptiness.
Scarcity/Lack fills you up with a negative emotional charge, repelling Possibility;
Emptiness has no emotion, otherwise it wouldn't be "empty".
Emptiness is pure Possibility.

NO OBLIGATION

Stephen Crane

A Man said to the Universe,

"Sir, I exist."

"However," replied the universe,

"The fact has not created in me

A sense of obligation."

Kinda licks all the icing off your self-importance,

Don't it?

ASSUMPTIONS

As far as I've been able to see,
It's not possible to live any kind of life without allowing assumptions.
The trick is to aware-fully make assumptions,
Rather than allow assumptions to unconsciously make you.

Consciously gauge probabilities
On the basis of which you can go on to form reasonable and emotionally balanced assumptions
And then take appropriate risks.
Taking risks is a basic human need.
Sentient beings who don't take risks -- die:
That process is called evolution.

Risks are healthy; hazards are not.
The hazard of making assumptions
Is in not recognising that you're making them.

How do we know when we're being persuaded to swallow an assumption or three?
We start hearing phrases like --

• Everybody/we all/any idiot knows that.........
• It's self-evident/obvious that.........
• Obviously/undoubtedly/surely...............
• If you don't agree with what I say then you're against us..........

How do I recognise when I've personally been squatting on an assumption that I don't know about?
Life has given me a couple of marker-flags......
Called Failure and Embarrassment.
What great gifts!
They're like flashing neon signs to me that there are some assumptions I've been leaning on
That no longer stand up.

When you have an Assumption that you blithely treat as Fact,
Then you're headed for possibly serious trouble.
Become aware,
And be grateful for times when life reminds you
That you're standing on an assumption as if it were gospel truth.

(Do you want the gospel truth?
Are you sure? This is the cosmic joke.
OK. Here it is.....
There is no such thing as The Truth.
Pop that in your pipe and smoke it.)

I've found it impossible to avoid making assumptions,
So I've surrendered to that
And I now create them quite deliberately.
Assumptions, I've found, can take us to some very interesting places
And can be very creative , and even transforming.
It's important for freedom, however,
To continually examine them,
And discard them
Once we've seen all that what we wanted to see from that place.
Move on.

Can any of us live life without assumptions?
I doubt it.
But, if possible, they should never be the same assumptions
From one day to the next.
How good would it be if,
At the end of each day,
We could deliberately empty the Recycle Bin,
And wake up each new day,
Devoid of yesterday's leftovers --
Absolutely afresh?

I'm going to try that for the next 21 days.

RELATIONSHIPS

If you're expecting one relationship to fully meet all of your human needs,
You're in for disappointment.
No-one was put on this earth to do it all for you.
No-one.
(That's why we weren't just paired up on our own desert island paradise)

Make a list of people you relate with in a significant way.
What do you want from each one? (Be honest.)
If you're not getting what you want from a particular person (yes, that one!) --

• Are you trading off what you want for something else that is also of value to you?
• Are your expectations of what you want closing you off from gifts in disguise?
• How are your Receiving skills? Are they evenly balanced alongside your Giving?
• How are your Giving skills? Do people feel uncomfortable when you give them something?
• Do you feel comfortably deserving of what you want?
• Are you seeking it from the wrong person?

One purpose of relationship is to learn.

Be prepared to pay for the tuition, 

Rather than pay a later penalty for naivety and ignorance.

Never invest more into a relationship

Than you're prepared to happily pay

As the price for the experience.

HOW TO DEVELOP WILL POWER

A father once quipped to his daughter who had been pestering him for something --
"On this occasion, you have persuaded me with the power of your will;
But never underestimate the power of my "won't".

Take an inventory of things you WON'T do or consider, and places you won't go......

• In your career
• In your family life
• In your social life
• In your sexual life
• In your spiritual life
• Physically
• Financially
• Mentally

If you're like most of us,
You'll find you speak "Won't" a lot more often and fluently than "Will".
You may be slightly flabbergasted to discover
The extent to which "Won't" is your native tongue.

Develop a new habit:
Every daydo
Do one small thing
That you don't want to do.
Be fully present, available and responsible while you're doing it,
And acknowledge your self with gratitude when it's done.

"Will"-power gives "Will"-ingness real muscle.

IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE SITUATION YOU'RE IN.........

• Whose plan were you in that got you here?
• What do you know about yourself that this situation proves you right?
• Whose goals are you currently working on?
• OK. You know what you don't want: what do you want?
• What, within you, is stopping you?

PREJUDICES

Some thoughts ---

• Some minds are like concrete -- all mixed up and permanently set.
• The human mind is like a parachute -- useful if it's open.
• We can send a message 38,000 kms around the earth in less than a second, but it often takes years to penetrate 5mm of skull.

FIVE STAGES OF LEARNING

1. Exposure -- Open yourself to new ideas; you never know where your possibilities are hiding in disguise.
2. Imitation -- Take it for a test-drive. You didn't learn to swim by thinking about it; sooner or later you had to jump into the water.
3. Encouragement -- Be your own best friend. Listen and support.
4. Repetition -- Old habits have an inertia that resists changes in direction. Patiently exert gentle pressure on the rudder until the new learning takes over.
5. Refinement -- Dying of boredom is not possible unless you insist upon it. There is always more. When you get to the horizon, there will always be further for you to see and explore.

ATTITUDE

Attitude is a posture or position
That has been assumed
To serve a purpose.

If I may use a sailing analogy.....
Attitude is set and the the angle at which you set your sails.
When you watch a regatta,
You'll see boats going in all directions.
But the wind is blowing from only one quarter......
Each skipper is drawing on his experience
To make the most out of the conditions,
By plotting a course and trimming the sails.
Is your present attitude blowing you off your course,
Or is it getting you where you want to go?

OPPORTUNITY

Opportunity lies all around us.
But it takes a person to realise it.

DUTY

Duty makes us do things.
Love makes us do things beautifully.

LIFE ECHOES

What you send out, comes back.

What you sow, you reap.

What you give, you get.

What you see in others exists in you.

What you are doing to others, is being done to you

IF YOU KNEW YOU COULDN'T FAIL........

What great thing would you attempt today

If you positively KNEW you couldn't possibly fail?

Well, any experiment whose purpose is to "to see how it turns out"

Cannot fail.

It will always turn out.

The ball is in your court.

WHY WE JOIN CULTS....

Well, the obvious answer is "for the experience of it".
Nothing wrong with that.
But I have to ask --
What poverty lies behind the hunger that "joining" something gratifies?

Support?

Interaction skills?

Inner growth?

Belonging?

Sensation?

Intimate connection?

Acceptance?

Risk and challenge?

Meaning?

Autonomy?

Each one is a legitimate human need,
That is not being experienced as being sufficiently met.
There is a sensed emotional. intellectual, or spiritual vacuum
That mind demands it be allowed to fill.

From the point of view of anyone "outside",
Insiders seem to be under the spell of some level of insanity:
To an "insider", his/her actions and environment represent the ultimate "sanity"
And it is those outside who are "evil" and in need of a reality check.
Well, that's how the human mind works, isn't it? --
"They're wrong, so I must be right, "
No matter which side of the fence we stand.

Sooner or later, however,
No matter how certain we become,
There are just some days when we wake up disquieted.
Perhaps we've had an odd dream, or maybe we just can't settle down to a deep sleep.
"What's wrong?" is our first reaction (a curious assumption in itself, don't you think?);
Later we get to wondering "What is this all about?

We're simply being reminded of a deeper quest churning away in the background of our awareness --
A search for meaning in life,
And for some kind of transcendence.

These reminder calls seem to happen more frequently and powerfully
In times of upheaval, unrest, crisis or during periods of physical or mental illness (dis-ease).
When such times of upheaval become epidemic,
Religions and -isms get a sudden boost of interest,
Especially those more pentecostally flavoured groups
That tap into what sociologist Richard Ofshe called
"The market for psychological perfection."
Ofshe goes on to point out that
"Anyone can start a religion;
All it takes is charisma and a modicum of sense."

Stallholders at the spiritual hype-market
Appeal to people's frightened hunger for Acceptance and Meaning.
Anyone who claims to have "The Answer" and promises a regular smile and hug from enough acolytes
Is bound to get a good following.
There's a lot of justified frustration out there with the more traditional religions,
But what the new breed of spiritual Macca's are offering
Is  high on sugar and spice,
And almost totally devoid of nourishment.
We're encountering a religious right of spiritual bullemics.

Lost people like to feel they've come home.
If you can lay on a reasonably regular spiritual "high"
That most people do not feel in ordinary daily life,
You've go it made. You'll get the vulnerable hooked on the intensity of a dodgy experience and, hey presto!
They'll follow you to hell.

Every charismatic religious leader
Offers some kind of conduit to the cosmos,
Feeding off a pandemic of reluctance
To follow Jeshua ben Joseph's frustrated admonition
"For Christ's sake, heal yourselves!"

Here's a bottom line for you --

In any situation we flee to out of Neediness

We lose

Our freedom and integrity.

Neediness does not breed Fulfilment.

It takes balls to strike out on your own --
Ask every pilgrim who ever went off in search for himself.
There will always be someone to offer a short cut to heaven,
And more than enough suckers to sign over their freedom
In the name of "salvation".

Salvation from what?
Pray tell.
The lack of something we're too lazy to provide for our self?

IT SEEMS A BIT OF A WASTE.......

It seems to me to be a bit of a waste
To say "Yes" to emodiment on this plane-t,
Only to spend the whole of our life after that
Saying "No".

So we got one helluva fright?
Get over it.

Sooner or later Death comes a-calling
And won't take "No" for an answer.
We began with a "Yes", and we go out with a "Yes";
Maybe a few more "Yeses" in between
Would make the journey more fun?
What do you reckon?

SOLVING PROBLEMS

The happiest and the unhappiest people I know
All have problems.
The happiest ones seem to know how to engage with their challenges;
The unhappy ones don't.
It could be said that one measure of our happiness
Lies in the ratio between how much we see ourselves as having problems
And how much we feel our problems have us.
Unhappy people don't have problems as much as
Their problems have them.
One of the main reasons for this impotence is
That we don't know what "the problem" really is;
We're victimised by what we don't know.
Most problems, be they social. marital, financial or otherwise,
Are the visible symptoms of deeper difficulties.

Tips that Work for Me

1. Define your problem clearly on paper.
2. List the obstacles standing in the way.
3. Take time to explore what the deeper underlying difficulties might be at other levels of your being. Unless you tackle the real causes, you will be living your version of "Groundhog Day".
4. Deliberately open your mind to let inspiration from other sources reach you. This is a bit like searching the internet for inspiration, rather than relying merely on files already stored on your computer for a solution. Your mind is a limited resource.
5. List any people and idea sources that might help you solve your problem. Remain open to alternative, non-traditional ways of engaging with it. Are there other logically unconnected disciplines or technologies that may have a good idea or two that may work in this context?
6. List as many possible courses of action that occur to you, no matter how implausible some of them may seem. Censor nothing at this point, and take your time for less logical ideas to pop.
7. Visualise possible results -- including best- and worse-case scenarios --  for each course of action. Allow more possible courses to suggest themselves.
8. Choose a course of action that appeals to you, and then pursue it. Adapt and incorporate anything that enhances your project from other alternatives you've considered. Have your plan, and be prepared to adapt. Stay with your action plan long enough for it to work, or for it to prove that it's not going to do the trick. If it finally doesn't work, do this exercise again in the light of what you've learned so far, and choose another.

BY THEIR CONVERSATIONS SHALL YE KNOW THEM.......

Small minds complain -- about their lot and their problems (sometimes disguised as talking about "others").

Average minds gossip -- about events and other people, as it they know what they're talking about.

Great minds share -- possibilities.

A MESSAGE TO MY GRANDCHILDREN

Following a spectacular concert given by a renowned classical pianist,

The green room backstage was awash with the usual blue-rinse set

Eager to touch the hem of the accomplished and famous.

One dowager began to gush over the pianist --

"Oh, I would so LOVE to be able to play like you!! I would do anything!!"

The pianist looked at her kindly for a moment, as if making up her mind.

Then she quietly said into her ear,

"No, my dear, you wouldn't. You'd have to say 'No' to many of the things you now enjoy. You'd have to practice for 8 hours every day, live most of your life out of suitcases in hotel rooms, venture into strange places when you least feel like it........."

Her voice tailed off.

The society lady got the message.

If you want your life to be a symphony,

You have to do the scales.

Raw talent may get you through the door,

But it's your responsibility to develop your mental, emotional, physical and spiritual capacity

To shape it into something  that will effectively express what you want to put out there.

No scales -- no concerts.

A CHILD LEARNS -- Anonymous

If a child lives with criticism,
  he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with hostility,
  he learns to fight.
If a child lives with ridicule,
  he learns to be shy.
If a child lives with shame,
  he learns to feel guilt.
If a child lives with tolerance,
  he learns to be patient.
If a child lives with encouragement,
  he learns confidence.
If a child lives with fairness,
  he learns justice.
If a child lives with security,
  he learns to trust.
If a child lives with approval,
  he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with acceptance and friendship,
  he learns to see the love in the world.

FAILURE

Failure, as an experience, can be transformative.
But I get really impatient with people
Who insist upon it and recommend it
As the only way to live.

I've done that.
It sucked.

TALKING FOR TOMORROW

I bend an ear to the words I say
And  keep them tender and sweet,
Because I never know today
Which ones I may have to eat.

LISTEN

A good listener is welcome at any party,
And after a while, he knows a lot more
Than those who monopolised the conversation.

LOOK

You won't find a gem in every rock,

But it doesn't hurt to take a look.

Burmese Proverb

HOW TO PICK AN EVOLVING HUMAN BEING (from a Lost Cause)

• A Lost Cause says "Nobody knows". An Evolver  says "Let's find out."
• When an Evolver makes a mistake, he says "I got it wrong; got it!". A Lost Cause says "It wasn't my fault."
• An Evolver says "Thank you" whatever happens; he knows how luck works. A Lost Cause blames his bad luck, whatever happens. He thinks Gratitude is something you only dish out when you get what you want, the way you want it.
• An Evolver learns when and how to say "Yes " and "No". and is pretty clear about why. A Lost Cause hedges a lot around "Yes, but....." and "Maybe not..." at the wrong times and for the wrong reasons.
• An Evolver states "This is my intention....."; a Lost Cause promises "I'll try.........."
• A Lost Cause complains "I have to....."; and Evolver declares "I choose to...."
• An Evolver isn't nearly as afraid of losing as a Lost Cause is secretly afraid of succeeding.
• A Lost Cause is always too busy and never has enough time; an Evolver knows how to make time.
• An Evolver works through situations and conditions; a Lost Cause tries to get around them, and never gets past them.
• An Evolver makes commitments; a Lost Cause makes wishes and promises.
• Evolvers get up a head of steam and apply it steadily to the drive wheels to maximise traction. Lost Causes blow it all out of the whistle.
• An Evolver cleans up his messes; a Lost Cause shrugs and does it again.
• An Evolver is focussed on values, and knows where to take a stand, and where and when to negotiate; a Lost Cause is focussed on self-important issues, compromises the important stuff and fights over trivialities.
• An Evolving person acknowledges that he's doing well, and that he can learn and improve. A Lost Cause says "I'm not as bad as other people."
• An Evolving person builds a life; a Lost Cause repeats his childhood over and over until he dies.
• An Evolver listens attentively; he knows the creator gave him two ears and one mouth for a good reason. A Lost Cause waits until it's his turn to talk.
• A Lost Cause will do just about anything to be liked, ignoring the fact that it's costing him Contempt. An Evolving person engenders respect, and doesn't take too personally what other people think of him, except as feedback on how effectively he's representing what's important to him. 
• An Evolving person feels strong enough to be gentle and firm; a Lost Cause fears gentleness will be taken as weakness.
• An Evolver respects authority; a Lost Cause jealously resents it.
• An Evolver learns how to give direction by learning first to take it with grace and gratitude; a Lost Cause can't wait to start giving orders.
• An Evolver explains; a Lost Cause explains away.
• An Evolving being feels responsible for more than just his job; a Lost Cause says "I only work here."
• An Evolver feeds the Goose that lays the golden eggs; a Lost Cause can't wait to steal the eggs.
• A Lost Cause contents himself with "This is the way its has always been done"; an Evolver says "There has to be another way..."
• Evolutionary leaders spend their lives serving: others may erect monuments to them, but only after they've gone; Lost Causes start posing for their monuments before they've done anything very much. In fact, some Lost Causes do nothing but pose, night in -- night out.
• Lost Causes keep walking Westward, looking for a sunrise.
• An Evolver knows from his observations that a Victim's life doesn't work: Lost Causes race each other to see who can get to the bottom first.
• Evolvers look for ways to make a difference; Lost Causes look for ways to become "special needs".

JUST FOR TODAY.....

JUST FOR TODAY.......

Dr. William S. Hendrie

Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life's problems at once.

Just for today I will be happy. Abe Lincoln said it -- "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

Just for today I will strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

Just for today I will adjust myself to whatever is, and seek to change those things that must, and can be changed.

Just for today I will exercise my soul three ways:-

1. I will do someone a good turn, and not get found out.
2. I will not show anyone how much my feelings hurt. They may be hurt, but I will be responsible for that.
3. Just for today I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, think high, act courteously, criticising not one bit. I will not find fault with anything, and not try to improve or regualte anybody other than myself.

Just for today I will have a Plan. I may not follow it exactly, but I will save myself from two pests: Hurry and Indecision.

Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.

Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful; and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

TRUTH

No valid values are impaired or destroyed
By learning a truth about them.

Falsities, beliefs and prejudices
Are allergic to the Truths of unbiased experience
And will die if sufficiently exposed to them.

Every time we surrender to a truth,
We are a little more free --
Less vicitmised and victmise-able
By superstition, righteousness, prejudice, ignorance, dogmatism and crippling vulnerability.
We get a little more clear air
And find ourself better able to discover and creatively engage
With new facts, new ways of seeing, new experiences and challenges.
We can claim to be a little better "educated".
We are more than ever ready
To hone and polish our being with the being-ness of others in a poised way.

SELF-IMAGE

Whether we like the results or not,
We are what we think we are.
We live up to our own deep,unconscious self-appraisal;
And from that same self-image
We teach others how to treat us.
Truth be known, we would all like that to be different,
But it remains so
Because we have no idea of what we're doing
To our self.
Wishing for things to be different leaves us ---
Wishing.

Self-Image isn't real; at best it is a partial reality. It is a perception, and like all human perceptions is doomed to be partial, incomplete and often misguided.

Self Image is one of the most basic programmes driving our auto-pilot. The inner images we hold of ourselves trigger very specific attitudes, which in turn have a profound influence on our contentment and effectiveness in life.

Self-image is merely an amoral seeding mechanism; it has no critical, judgmental or introspective function. It cannot differentiate between what might be harmful or beneficial to its host. Nor can it discriminate between actual experience and an experience vividly imagined in some factual or emotional detail. It has no vision outside of itself.

Self-Image dwells and operates from the sub-conscious level of our thinking;
Which is a fancy way of saying
Self-Image isn't something we think -- It thinks us.
For the most part,
We didn't even think it into existence in the first place,
It went in viscerally and emotionally.
That means two things --

1. While we may be able to explain away bits of it, self image is rarely based on fact and does not, of itself, make rational sense; and
2. If we want to change it, our rational mind is not up to the task -- we cannot reason ourselves out of anything that was not reasoned into in the first place.

Self images that are un-piloted, imbalanced, unrealistic, or programmed incompletely, vaguely, or aimed at a target too far out of range, cause our self-realising mechanisms to wander erratically, crashing us into the furniture until our self-propulsion systems either fail or self-destruct, or both.

Images stored within our brain, I am told by those who should know, cannot be willfully erased by us.  Barring brain damage, we are stuck with them for life. That's good news because, God knows, I tried for quite a while back there to zap my negative self-image into oblivion, and failed very miserably. It was comforting to learn, at last, that -- despite what I'd been told by the Positive-Thinking-SWAT'ers -- it isn't necessary.

Even better news is that negative or inappropriate self-images can be balanced out with equally valid counterparts, and integrated into a dynamic whole.

Evolution and transformation are not about getting better; they are about getting whole.

Permanent transformation of our personalities and behaviours relies on:-

1. A change in our perceptions (including our self-image and expectations)
2. A willingness to view the world and our place in it from as many different points of view as we can manage every waking hour
3. A willingness to try different strategies and behaviours, just for the heck of it.

Watch your self-talk feedback both before a challenging event and after it. How you respond to your performances is just as important (and revealing) as how you prepare for them. When someone asks you how you are, are you one of the 80 percenters who answer "Not bad". Why are we so disappointed when our catastrophising expectations are not met? Are you a "looker-backer"? Do you walk to the shops, look around and say to yourself "Well, contrary to my expectations, I didn't fall that time!"

A child watches adults walking and, encouraged by them, experiments, again and again. He just assumes that successful walking is part of the deal, and he can't wait to get with the programme. The child does not associate falling with failure; only as a temporary inconvenience, and a chance to adjust. He's not too fussed about HOW he walks, or how he looks while he's doing it, he just wants to get from point "a" to point "b" a little more efficiently than by sliding around on his bum. He gets up and tries again and again. Even once the skill of balance and locomotion is achieved, he does not stop there. Most children continue to practice and experiment, honing their skills and strengths. May be that's why there are so many accomplished toddlers in the world! Some of them take it even further and refine their skills into running, football, tennis and even ballet dancing -- things they never imagined possible when they first started trying to stand up.

Once we start on something, there's no telling where it might lead. 

But we do have to start. 

And that's where Self-Image comes in.