A few moments ago I witnessed a minor event (on TV actually) that triggered a tug of Desire. Being more than somewhat addictive, that twinge of desire very quickly escalated through the level of Preference, and was nudging the level of Need. when I caught the process and dropped it before it picked up an emotional wallop and launched into Addiction.
But for the first time I noticed something else. In the millisecond after the stimulus and before the Desire popped up, there was a gap I haven't seen before -- a gap containing something else. I went back and looked into it. In action replay, yes, there was something -- two things actually.....
a) A mini-moment of Recognition, an instant of "Yes". What I had just seen triggered a feeling I already knew, recognised it and affirmed it. It was just a flash, though, before it was wiped out by.....
b) A kneejerk thought of "Missing", quickly followed by a pang of Sadness.(I know that feeling; I often mistake it for love.)
So the full sequence was:
- The trigger
- Recognition
- Affirmation -- "Yes"
- A thought of Missing
- A feeling of Sadness
- Desire
- Preference
- Addiction (Preference with an emotional punch)
As I go through this sequence now, I can feel the frequency of each experience in the sequence lowering from high-level affirmation to low-level despair. And the whole descent can happen so fast that we never see it..
But getting back to my slow-mo replay, something else happened also. When I reversed out of Neediness back to that Yes of Recognition, the grab of Preference and Need dissolved and Desire settled into Gratitude for something I now knew I already have.
We know that any Desire for an experience -- like a peach -- has an internal kernel of something very valuable that the desired experience is supposed to give us. This internal kernel is something we already know, otherwise we could not imagine or recall it. But, since we know it, it is still available to us -- either directly from within our internal sense memory, or indirectly through any number of other possible experiences and circumstances, not just the one we're focusing our Desire onto. It is this narrowing of Desire onto a PARTICULAR must-have experience that both heightens the intensity of the Desire, and lessens our chances of getting either it or the kernel of what we're really after..
We know that any Desire for an experience -- like a peach -- has an internal kernel of something very valuable that the desired experience is supposed to give us. This internal kernel is something we already know, otherwise we could not imagine or recall it. But, since we know it, it is still available to us -- either directly from within our internal sense memory, or indirectly through any number of other possible experiences and circumstances, not just the one we're focusing our Desire onto. It is this narrowing of Desire onto a PARTICULAR must-have experience that both heightens the intensity of the Desire, and lessens our chances of getting either it or the kernel of what we're really after..
Could it also be that, when we see something that we know and like, out of sheer habit we admit a thought about Not-Having, and a feeling of Regret that spurs us into Desire, Preference and, finally, Addiction? Could it also be that we can reverse that process and up-level our experience by simply recognising that, if we know it, we have it. No need to desire it. No need to even prefer it. Take the short-cut; simply recall. Receive what you've already got.
Ah, but then we wouldn't suffer, and how hard it is to give up our suffering! So much of our identity is tied up in it.
What do I want? What I already have? Or do I want to suffer a little bit longer? I have a choice.
Ah, but then we wouldn't suffer, and how hard it is to give up our suffering! So much of our identity is tied up in it.
What do I want? What I already have? Or do I want to suffer a little bit longer? I have a choice.
That's what I've just seen. I'm going to road-test it for a while, and see what happens..
Anybody else?
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