That flies in the face of all our old beliefs about Freedom --
To be free
We must drop every resistance,
Relinquish every control,
And surrender unconditionally
To what-is.
Freedom = Surrender???
Freedom is an unconditional state of being,
Freedom is an unconditional state of being,
Independent of all circumstances.
It doesn't matter where you live, under what regimes,
Or what your physical, emotional or spiritual givens are,
You can still be free.
And if you haven't got that kind of freedom --
The kind that exists independently of what others do to you,
You are not free
In any circumstances.
But what the hell --
The only person you're kidding is you.
It doesn't matter where you live, under what regimes,
Or what your physical, emotional or spiritual givens are,
You can still be free.
And if you haven't got that kind of freedom --
The kind that exists independently of what others do to you,
You are not free
In any circumstances.
But what the hell --
The only person you're kidding is you.
Freedom is the state of being unconditional,
In which unfathomable mysteries , the un-knowable and as yet-unknown possibilities
In which unfathomable mysteries , the un-knowable and as yet-unknown possibilities
Are willingly entered
As escape hatches from everything that self-limits and suppresses.
Freedom allows and uses structure,
But is not welded to it.
But is not welded to it.
Freedom plays creatively with agendas, rules, goals, expectations,
And drops them when they start to pinch.
Freedom is a radiant, flowing, flowering present-ness.
Freedom delights in surprise, sees possibilities in not-knowing
And commits to fully go wherever the flow may take us.
TRUST
For this, we need Trust.
Trust is an energy organiser.
At a time of crisis, when no rational, logical thinking
Will sustain an illusion of stability or security,
Trust provides self-integrity,
A way of keeping it all together.
If you feel your life is falling apart,
It may be a symptom of Trust Deprivation.
Trust is not quite the same as "faith",
Where the spiritual glue is sought
From outside of one's self;
Nor is it "hope",
Where there is a reaching for something not-yet,
Rather than a resting in something we already have
But may have forgotten about, or have yet to experience.
Trust is a latent inner resource,
A pre-existing knowing from deep within
That the process of life is designed to work,
That there is another knowing that is greater than ours,
That there are dimensions outside of our human senses that we just do not know about,
That the survival of who we truly are is not, never was, and never will be an issue,
And that sometimes we just have to take our hands off the wheel
And let this life take us wherever it's going.
There is no freedom without trust.
Without trust we are tied to limiting considerations.
Knowing what I think I know,
Can I let go of this awareness
And drop into the void of what I have not yet seen,
Not yet heard,
In order to get a sense of the energy that orchestrates all that is?
Can I forsake all quests for security, power and sensation
And surrender to nothing,
With no guarrantees, and on no evidence whatsoever
Knowing that, without this level of total surrender,
I will never get to experience
Unconditional love and support?
I have done it,
And I'm still here to tell the tale,
And to let you know,
That until you've died this death,
You have no idea what life could be for you.
This is the divine space of freedom
Where nothing is fixed
And everything is possible....
And then you get on with being human
And all that that means.
But it's not the same any more.....
Trust and release must be total;
Even the slightest hanging-on to the old and familiar
Will short-circuit the process.
Every attachment to all old relationships and patterns must be reliquished
Before anything will re-solve and reform.
That doesn't mean we have to give everything and everyone up;
It means we have to let go our attachment to them.
Even the slightest attachment
(And resistance is an attachment)
Will block our awakening.
It's all,or nothing.
In the past we have looked at and experienced our situation
From a theoretical ideal of "normality".
We compare what's going on with us to what we consider ought to be.
This new journey starts from a different place;
It begins from an open acceptance of where we actually are.
Rather than resist,
We can choose to welcome whatever feelings of disturbance, contraction, judgment, uncomfortableness or pain
As openings to transformation
And new viewpoints from which to observe and reflect on the nature of Balance, Fluidity, Rigidity, Openness, Closedness, and Unconditionality. When we intellectually and emotionally look at things from a different perspective, we see things we couldn't see before. This is the secret key to the door of transformation.
In this state, notions of Right and Wrong, Good and Bad, Better and Worse, Should and Should-Not evaporate into irrelevance. There is only the gift of What-Is, so that you can see your consciousness in action, and the level at which it has been nesting, from another point of view.
Once you see it, your experience -- past and present -- can be surrendered to, and allowed to integrate into the growing tapestry of your life. To use another (sound) analogy, songs sung in unison have a certain appeal and power for a short time, but harmony is richer, fuller and a lot more interesting. New rhythms and harmonics add to the richness of experience, if only we can drop our fear of them. We have discord in our lives because of the dynamics we reject, dynamics that would integrate themselves in ways that our tiny minds cannot begin to predict. From such integrating you will experience new levels of openness, balance, gratitude, and a renewed sense of adventure and freedom.
Surrender is the key; there's no way around it. You can delay it for as long as your whole life, but you didn't get in here, and you won't get out again without surrendering. There is nothing "wrong" in your life. Your present discomforts do not have to be worked on. You could try hugging them instead. Have them, feel them, get to know them in experience, so that the wisdom you gain can flow back to the Source blessed, enriched and enlightened by your availability to it all.
There's a good reason why mothers about to give birth don't pack a lunch and rucksack for their offspring, just in case. It is easier for a baby to pass through the birth canal than it is for an adult to trust and surrender. Yet that's what is required -- a total surrender of EVERY attachment -- emotional, intellectual, physical, idealogical, image-inary.... the slightest whiff of identification anywhere, and it's lights-out across the board for Freedom.
Trust and Surrender are the womb of freedom. They provide the space, nourishment and environment you need for your transforming being. There is space in the re-birthing process for logic and reason, and what you've learned so far, just as certain vitamins and minerals enhance your well-being and enrich your growth. But these "extras", and any others you may need, will be provided as required along the way. Don't try to bring them as carry-on luggage -- you won't make it. Trust and surrender don't take up any space, don't add any weight, and are all you need for this journey. And you may need to reach into them many times along the way.
LET-GO: THE LEAP THROUGH FEAR
The usual approach to growth is to acquire and practice techniques and skills to fix or change things in our circumstances and personalities that keep us stuck. And there is no shortage of very highly "qualified" experts who'll take your money on a promise to make life better for you.
The approach is reasonable, but not intelligent. We are focussing our attention and energy (the two most creative forces we possess) onto the limiting circumstances and personal traits, the "what's-wrong". In so doing, we are empowering whatever it is that is keeping us stuck. What we fight, we fortify (globally and personally). Whatever we let be, lets us be. This is the Law of Polar Opposites. Regardless of what we may have decided to try out since, we were not born to become saints: we were born to complete the experience
of being what we are.And what we are has always been, is now, and ever shall be.... our choice.
Discarding stuff that no longer works for us is always an option (attractive to some, and too scary to contemplate for others). But there is no demand from life that we enslave ourselves to a cure for what we are and a quest to seize and occupy what we aren't. If you go to war on life as it is -- expect a bumpy ride!
We've tried struggling to get free of stuckness. Reasonable. Logical. But how well has that worked for you? Me either. Maybe it's time to try something un-reasonable and illogical for a change. Acknowledging, allowing and surrendering to whatever has got us by the nose frees us to deal more creatively with it. At the same time we're freed to live through that experience without all the internally generated suffering and "hardhship" that goes with every resistance. From here onward, would you rather do this hard, or easy? I can't answer for you, but having done both "hard"and "easy", I know where my feet vote.
The fear we most need to fear is that which induces paralysis at the point of letting go deeply. Trust is the only sure-fire antidote for emotional paralysis that I'm aware of. Our minds call up distracting wrestling matches with others, our circumstances, personality issues and health problems (Physical, mental, spiritual and emotional), but none of these is the real issue. Our ego/minds raise them to divert us from engaging directly with the Awakening Force, that cosmic imperative that draws us to expand into apparent chaos, formlessness and not-knowing. We can find ourselves in turmoil, caught between a panic urge on one hand to do anything that will take away these dread-full feelings, and on the other -- Alice's formless rabbit-hole where there is nothing to do but step across the threshold and let go.
I have found - so far - that the void we step into is always a tunnel. I also know from Depression that, without trust, the other end eludes me. With trust engaged, though, although I often cannot see the other end, sometimes for what seems like an eternity, I do break out into sunshine eventually. But I think we have to create/trust that the other end of the tunnel exists, otherwise I suspect we'll never find it.
Rather like a train trip I once took along the Brenner Pass through the Alps between Italy and Austria, each emergence from a tunnel plunges me into a stunning vista of ever-more-brilliant sunshine. The trick is to enjoy these places, too, but not prop there: allow the journey to take me into the next tunnel, and the next, and the next...... all in its own good time.
Whether or not we succumb to paralysis or rocket off into transformation depends on the way we choose to relate to our fears. Do we choose to be scared of our fears, repress them, ignore them, try to control them? Or do we look for ways to use the energy of our fears creatively?
I find fear logically unresolvable, for a very sound reason. You and I did not reason our way into our fears -- we got here emotionally. We have to back out the same way we came in. Reason is not a valid or effective tool for working on the Un-reasonable. Regardless of what our mind promises us, we cannot reason our way out of anything that was not reasoned into in the first place. We can take that to the bank.
Next time it comes up, feel into the feeling you call "fear". Doesn't it remind you of another feeling you're familiar with -- excitement? Aliveness? Isn't this "fear" thing just a negative label you've stuck onto a feeling that could be exhilarating if you didn't judge it? (I could be enjoying this, if I didn't feel this way about it!) Relax around this feeling. Sense it's energy. Would you rather be feeling this energy, or be dead? Hmmmmmmmm? If you'd rather be dead -- fine: you will be. Numbness has already set in. I wish you well, but I cannot come with you just yet.
For the adventurous of spirit, fears rank among the true gifts of life. They act as beacons toward discovery and growth. How we respond to them has a direct influence on how much life we will experience. If you're one who avoids scary situations, congratulations! You've found a sure way to live "safe" -- until just before you die, when you will plunge headlong into fear without the benefit of any rehearsal. Then you'll die, and we'll all stand around at your funeral and secretly wonder why the hell you bothered living.
When we project our fears outwards we generate a need for more and more assurances of security to counter an ever-growing number of perceived threats. We grab for partners and "soul mates" -- thinly disguised saviour-substitutes for our long dead Mummies and Daddies. We look pleadingly for someone to guess what we really want because we either haven't got a clue, or we do but we're not going to say what that is because anyone who cared ought to be able to guess! We fill the air with inane chatter about nothing, deathly afraid of silence and peace. We "do" hangdog and forlorn martyr impersonations to con our families into looking after us in our old age. We nag and nitpick those we love, too fearful to just say "I love you", and let it rest at that. We hang out a shingle for someone -- anyone -- to tell us what to do, what to invest in, where to live, and when we get shafted, we go on "A Current Affair" or Lifeline and bleat our pathetic little tales. We just want to be tucked up in bed, cuddled, assured that our growing dreads are not life-threatening, and suckled by the public teat. In the meantime, we want the continuing comfort of staying exactly as we are, and all else around us to either remain nicely unchanged, or shape up, or go back to the way we think we remember it used to be.
None of this works. And life doesn't have to be this way. It doesn't have to end in a whimper!
I'm honestly thinking of writing another book and calling it "I Didn't Think it would End This Way." It'll be about growing up when we're supposed to, and learning to deal creatively with fear.
The turnaround begins with seeing our fears as messages. Something deep inside is telling us:
For this, we need Trust.
Trust is an energy organiser.
At a time of crisis, when no rational, logical thinking
Will sustain an illusion of stability or security,
Trust provides self-integrity,
A way of keeping it all together.
If you feel your life is falling apart,
It may be a symptom of Trust Deprivation.
Trust is not quite the same as "faith",
Where the spiritual glue is sought
From outside of one's self;
Nor is it "hope",
Where there is a reaching for something not-yet,
Rather than a resting in something we already have
But may have forgotten about, or have yet to experience.
Trust is a latent inner resource,
A pre-existing knowing from deep within
That the process of life is designed to work,
That there is another knowing that is greater than ours,
That there are dimensions outside of our human senses that we just do not know about,
That the survival of who we truly are is not, never was, and never will be an issue,
And that sometimes we just have to take our hands off the wheel
And let this life take us wherever it's going.
There is no freedom without trust.
Without trust we are tied to limiting considerations.
Knowing what I think I know,
Can I let go of this awareness
And drop into the void of what I have not yet seen,
Not yet heard,
In order to get a sense of the energy that orchestrates all that is?
Can I forsake all quests for security, power and sensation
And surrender to nothing,
With no guarrantees, and on no evidence whatsoever
Knowing that, without this level of total surrender,
I will never get to experience
Unconditional love and support?
I have done it,
And I'm still here to tell the tale,
And to let you know,
That until you've died this death,
You have no idea what life could be for you.
This is the divine space of freedom
Where nothing is fixed
And everything is possible....
And then you get on with being human
And all that that means.
But it's not the same any more.....
Trust and release must be total;
Even the slightest hanging-on to the old and familiar
Will short-circuit the process.
Every attachment to all old relationships and patterns must be reliquished
Before anything will re-solve and reform.
That doesn't mean we have to give everything and everyone up;
It means we have to let go our attachment to them.
Even the slightest attachment
(And resistance is an attachment)
Will block our awakening.
It's all,or nothing.
In the past we have looked at and experienced our situation
From a theoretical ideal of "normality".
We compare what's going on with us to what we consider ought to be.
This new journey starts from a different place;
It begins from an open acceptance of where we actually are.
Rather than resist,
We can choose to welcome whatever feelings of disturbance, contraction, judgment, uncomfortableness or pain
As openings to transformation
And new viewpoints from which to observe and reflect on the nature of Balance, Fluidity, Rigidity, Openness, Closedness, and Unconditionality. When we intellectually and emotionally look at things from a different perspective, we see things we couldn't see before. This is the secret key to the door of transformation.
In this state, notions of Right and Wrong, Good and Bad, Better and Worse, Should and Should-Not evaporate into irrelevance. There is only the gift of What-Is, so that you can see your consciousness in action, and the level at which it has been nesting, from another point of view.
Once you see it, your experience -- past and present -- can be surrendered to, and allowed to integrate into the growing tapestry of your life. To use another (sound) analogy, songs sung in unison have a certain appeal and power for a short time, but harmony is richer, fuller and a lot more interesting. New rhythms and harmonics add to the richness of experience, if only we can drop our fear of them. We have discord in our lives because of the dynamics we reject, dynamics that would integrate themselves in ways that our tiny minds cannot begin to predict. From such integrating you will experience new levels of openness, balance, gratitude, and a renewed sense of adventure and freedom.
Surrender is the key; there's no way around it. You can delay it for as long as your whole life, but you didn't get in here, and you won't get out again without surrendering. There is nothing "wrong" in your life. Your present discomforts do not have to be worked on. You could try hugging them instead. Have them, feel them, get to know them in experience, so that the wisdom you gain can flow back to the Source blessed, enriched and enlightened by your availability to it all.
There's a good reason why mothers about to give birth don't pack a lunch and rucksack for their offspring, just in case. It is easier for a baby to pass through the birth canal than it is for an adult to trust and surrender. Yet that's what is required -- a total surrender of EVERY attachment -- emotional, intellectual, physical, idealogical, image-inary.... the slightest whiff of identification anywhere, and it's lights-out across the board for Freedom.
Trust and Surrender are the womb of freedom. They provide the space, nourishment and environment you need for your transforming being. There is space in the re-birthing process for logic and reason, and what you've learned so far, just as certain vitamins and minerals enhance your well-being and enrich your growth. But these "extras", and any others you may need, will be provided as required along the way. Don't try to bring them as carry-on luggage -- you won't make it. Trust and surrender don't take up any space, don't add any weight, and are all you need for this journey. And you may need to reach into them many times along the way.
LET-GO: THE LEAP THROUGH FEAR
The usual approach to growth is to acquire and practice techniques and skills to fix or change things in our circumstances and personalities that keep us stuck. And there is no shortage of very highly "qualified" experts who'll take your money on a promise to make life better for you.
The approach is reasonable, but not intelligent. We are focussing our attention and energy (the two most creative forces we possess) onto the limiting circumstances and personal traits, the "what's-wrong". In so doing, we are empowering whatever it is that is keeping us stuck. What we fight, we fortify (globally and personally). Whatever we let be, lets us be. This is the Law of Polar Opposites. Regardless of what we may have decided to try out since, we were not born to become saints: we were born to complete the experience
of being what we are.And what we are has always been, is now, and ever shall be.... our choice.
Discarding stuff that no longer works for us is always an option (attractive to some, and too scary to contemplate for others). But there is no demand from life that we enslave ourselves to a cure for what we are and a quest to seize and occupy what we aren't. If you go to war on life as it is -- expect a bumpy ride!
We've tried struggling to get free of stuckness. Reasonable. Logical. But how well has that worked for you? Me either. Maybe it's time to try something un-reasonable and illogical for a change. Acknowledging, allowing and surrendering to whatever has got us by the nose frees us to deal more creatively with it. At the same time we're freed to live through that experience without all the internally generated suffering and "hardhship" that goes with every resistance. From here onward, would you rather do this hard, or easy? I can't answer for you, but having done both "hard"and "easy", I know where my feet vote.
The fear we most need to fear is that which induces paralysis at the point of letting go deeply. Trust is the only sure-fire antidote for emotional paralysis that I'm aware of. Our minds call up distracting wrestling matches with others, our circumstances, personality issues and health problems (Physical, mental, spiritual and emotional), but none of these is the real issue. Our ego/minds raise them to divert us from engaging directly with the Awakening Force, that cosmic imperative that draws us to expand into apparent chaos, formlessness and not-knowing. We can find ourselves in turmoil, caught between a panic urge on one hand to do anything that will take away these dread-full feelings, and on the other -- Alice's formless rabbit-hole where there is nothing to do but step across the threshold and let go.
I have found - so far - that the void we step into is always a tunnel. I also know from Depression that, without trust, the other end eludes me. With trust engaged, though, although I often cannot see the other end, sometimes for what seems like an eternity, I do break out into sunshine eventually. But I think we have to create/trust that the other end of the tunnel exists, otherwise I suspect we'll never find it.
Rather like a train trip I once took along the Brenner Pass through the Alps between Italy and Austria, each emergence from a tunnel plunges me into a stunning vista of ever-more-brilliant sunshine. The trick is to enjoy these places, too, but not prop there: allow the journey to take me into the next tunnel, and the next, and the next...... all in its own good time.
Whether or not we succumb to paralysis or rocket off into transformation depends on the way we choose to relate to our fears. Do we choose to be scared of our fears, repress them, ignore them, try to control them? Or do we look for ways to use the energy of our fears creatively?
I find fear logically unresolvable, for a very sound reason. You and I did not reason our way into our fears -- we got here emotionally. We have to back out the same way we came in. Reason is not a valid or effective tool for working on the Un-reasonable. Regardless of what our mind promises us, we cannot reason our way out of anything that was not reasoned into in the first place. We can take that to the bank.
Next time it comes up, feel into the feeling you call "fear". Doesn't it remind you of another feeling you're familiar with -- excitement? Aliveness? Isn't this "fear" thing just a negative label you've stuck onto a feeling that could be exhilarating if you didn't judge it? (I could be enjoying this, if I didn't feel this way about it!) Relax around this feeling. Sense it's energy. Would you rather be feeling this energy, or be dead? Hmmmmmmmm? If you'd rather be dead -- fine: you will be. Numbness has already set in. I wish you well, but I cannot come with you just yet.
For the adventurous of spirit, fears rank among the true gifts of life. They act as beacons toward discovery and growth. How we respond to them has a direct influence on how much life we will experience. If you're one who avoids scary situations, congratulations! You've found a sure way to live "safe" -- until just before you die, when you will plunge headlong into fear without the benefit of any rehearsal. Then you'll die, and we'll all stand around at your funeral and secretly wonder why the hell you bothered living.
When we project our fears outwards we generate a need for more and more assurances of security to counter an ever-growing number of perceived threats. We grab for partners and "soul mates" -- thinly disguised saviour-substitutes for our long dead Mummies and Daddies. We look pleadingly for someone to guess what we really want because we either haven't got a clue, or we do but we're not going to say what that is because anyone who cared ought to be able to guess! We fill the air with inane chatter about nothing, deathly afraid of silence and peace. We "do" hangdog and forlorn martyr impersonations to con our families into looking after us in our old age. We nag and nitpick those we love, too fearful to just say "I love you", and let it rest at that. We hang out a shingle for someone -- anyone -- to tell us what to do, what to invest in, where to live, and when we get shafted, we go on "A Current Affair" or Lifeline and bleat our pathetic little tales. We just want to be tucked up in bed, cuddled, assured that our growing dreads are not life-threatening, and suckled by the public teat. In the meantime, we want the continuing comfort of staying exactly as we are, and all else around us to either remain nicely unchanged, or shape up, or go back to the way we think we remember it used to be.
None of this works. And life doesn't have to be this way. It doesn't have to end in a whimper!
I'm honestly thinking of writing another book and calling it "I Didn't Think it would End This Way." It'll be about growing up when we're supposed to, and learning to deal creatively with fear.
The turnaround begins with seeing our fears as messages. Something deep inside is telling us:
- There is something limiting that is grabbing at our shirt tails; and
- It is time to get that this life and this death are one and the same process; and
- It's time to let go unconditionally into the whole of our self.
One of the most frightening things about these ego-induced death-like feelings against dissolving into chaos
Is not their finality,
But the awesome incomprehensibility
Of their being-born-again potential.
Set mind is about to get one helluva shakeup, and it doesn't like that one bit. Your ego/mind's own survival is more important to it than your life.
I know this, because I have an ego, too.
A big one.
A big one.
Outside of mind, there is nothing to fear. The process of living is what it is. Feeling elated about, or threatened by that is something quite separate that we overlay, and it helps a great deal, I find, when we distinguish quite clearly between -- a) What is; and b) How we feel about it.
There's nothing fundamentally right or wrong about what-is. Beyond an opportunity for experience, there's no fundamental "reason" for what-is, nor is it going anywhere in particular, any more than the Earth, the sun and the galaxies have any destination in space. There is no "better life" to follow this one, nor any standard you ought to attain before you move on. There is, however, a deepening appreciation of your freedom, available in this incarnation, to relate as you wish to the unfolding events of your day, and the flow of energy that animates it all.
I don't write this stuff out of any parent/child sense of "This is what you have to be doing", but out of a being of "If you feel lost, this is what I've found. If it appeals to you, make it yours. If it works, tell me. If it doesn't, find something else that does."
I don't write this stuff out of any parent/child sense of "This is what you have to be doing", but out of a being of "If you feel lost, this is what I've found. If it appeals to you, make it yours. If it works, tell me. If it doesn't, find something else that does."
If you demand something very specific from life, other than what you're getting, and you're not willing to go through what you're getting, you're fucked. How many times will you hit the wall before you get that?
Other than what you make up for yourself,
There is no point to life; life itself IS the point.
There's the doorway to Freedom. Was that what you were looking for? No? No wonder you didn't find it yet. Whether you break free of yourself or drift deeper and deeper into permanent paralysis will depend on:
- Your willingness to explore, without restraint, both inwardly and outwardly;
- The level of your sensitivity to the ways you let your mind define and control your experience (definition, limitation and control are the antithesis of freedom)
- Your willingness to relinquish control and accept whatever comes on its own terms;
- Your willingness to let go your cherished ideas about self-esteem, self-importance, and meaning;
- Your relationship to your moment-by-moment experience;
- Your willingness to turn towards both life and death, and integrate both as one experience.
You are not Robinson Crusoe here; this same process is happening for all of us. Your story may be a bit different to mine, but the process is common to us all, as are the comedies and dramas that result.
We connect with Freedom through our experience, whatever that experience is. Even if our experience is the opposite of freedom as we see it, it is that experience that will take us out of the quicksand we're stuck in. It is only through Surrender to experience, as it is, that freedom exposes itself.
I do have a final word of warning. If you don't use it, you'll lose it. Paralysis unchallenged gradually takes over. The longer you postpone the inevitable awakening, the less able you become to pull yourself out of the mire. And make no mistake about this -- it is YOUR job to save yourself. Even Christ said that!!
The longer you leave it, the more traumatic become the invitations life sends you to move your arse. My question: How bad do things have to get before you'll give up the stone in your shoe? My tip (for what it's worth): The sooner, the better.
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