FROM INSIDE THE SIN-BIN

I was brought up in a sternly "Us -v- Them" protestant christian ethos. Sin was the ultimate pitfall and, from my view of my parents' words and attitudes, all human beings except they and their fellow-Christian friends seemed to be inescapably sunk in sin up to their eyeballs. Temptation to sin lurked behind every second tree and in every dark thought-corner. It seemed that feelings of any sort other than anger and guilt were "sinful", and then anger was only legally available to my parents, and guilt was to be entirely my province. And I needed plenty of it because I was - inside and out - such a bad and sinful person.

Any act or omission to act that violated THE moral rules was a sin. Murder, theft, lying, wanting to hit my sister, being Roman Catholic -- all carried the same weight of painful punishment and eternal damnation from a humourless divine entity who'd never heard of the Grey Scale. This all-seeing God even knew what I was thinking and feeling, so thoughts and feelings that I had no control over were enough to get me busted for all time. And once the deed was done, in thought or in deed, that was it. I was gone for all money -- for eternity. Just being awake and alive was a source of continual stress and anxiety.

The only remedy seemed to be to swathe myself in guilt until punishment brought an end to it. Asking for forgiveness was never offered as an option, except in church on Sunday, and that, frankly, didn't seem to help much. I got very good at holding my breath under-guilt for days on end, since God was often away working. I had to wait until he got home on Thursday. (Thursday has never been my favourite day).

A NEW SPIN ON "SIN"

"Sin" -- the word originates from at least two separate sources that I know of, neither of them having anything to do with "wrongdoing". In ancient middle-eastern languages, "sin" was a voiceless consonant corresponding to "sh-sh-sh". The Hebrew root word for "sin" meant literally "to miss" or "to be absent".

To the ancient Greeks, "sin" was an archery term describing the distance between where the arrow landed on a target and the bullseye -- the distance by which the archer "missed".

The only "sin" is "missing"......

• Missing awareness
• Missing truth
• Missing joy
• Missing power

We judge:
Judging separates us from our awareness of Godness.
In a lather of separation every day
We go looking for "missing",
And we manage to find it
Everywhere.
Judgment separates us from our self,
In judgment we miss the what-is of it;
Judgment is "missing" in action....
Mis-understanding
Mis-interpreting
Mis-fortune
Mis-matching
Mis-conduct
Mis-behaving
Mis- Be/Have-ing.

In the Book of Exodus, we hear about a Wilderness of Sin. It was a real place, just off the slopes of Mt.Sinai, where the Children of Israel got lost after leaving their slavery stint in Egypt. They missed a turnoff somewhere and found themselves in a desert. The food they'd brought with them ran out and water was scarce. But they survived on mannah, quail and an unseasonal heavy nigjhtly  dew that "miraculously" appeared after Moses had a quiet word to "I Am". But I, too digress.....

Sin is "missing".

There once was a wise man whose King thought so highly of that he gave the monk a begging bowl of pure gold.  

One evening the monk was engaged in his meditations, when a robber brandishing a sword burst in upon him and demanded the bowl. Without looking up. the monk said "It is in my cupboard over there. You are welcome to it." The robber, perplexed, retrieved the famous bowl and was about to leave when his curiosity got the better of him. He stopped, turned to the wise man and said, "Are you not going to lecture me on the evils of stealing? I am the best thief in the land; stealing has made me very rich." The monk paused his devotions long enough to say "That's fine. Keep stealing then. But be aware of what you're doing. Just be aware."

The robber shook his head incredulously and left.

The following evening, the old monk was just preparing for bed when the same robber burst in upon him, furious. "You have ruined me!" he yelled. "This evening I managed to break into the King's treasure chamber. There before me lay the wealth of the nation. I reached out to fill my bag when I remembered your words -- 'be aware'. I froze. I could not move. I used to be the best thief in the land, and now you have ruined me. I can no longer steal!" The monk looked at him a moment and gently repeated -- "Just be aware."

Sin is missing awareness, absent-mindedness.
Sin is simply not possible when we are present and aware.
To miss is to simply "not be here",
Being and acting without being present for it.
The only necessary virtue
Is to be fully alert.
There is nothing that needs to be changed;
All we need is to be here, now.

Guilt and repentance are part of the Sin Cycle --
Commit > Feel guilty > Repent > Feel "good" > Commit > Guilt >.....
Within that cycle no progress is possible.
Effort is not what is needed;
No need to be more, better or different.
Just be aware, and things simply start to drop away
All of their own accord.
Anything that doesn't drop
Still has value for you -- become aware of that.

In awareness, some possibilities are no longer required;
In awareness, other possibilities arise to take their place.