MISSING ...... ME

Sometimes when I look inside me
I see negative-photo images of things I think I need --
Missings.
The matching positive images of those things I want appear to be outside of me --
In things, events,  relationships and expectations apparently being enjoyed by others.
Strewn all over the world are bits of me
Invested in things I think I need to have
Leaving identical, reverse-polarity holes inside of me -- "missings".

How did I get them?
I sure didn't start out on life with them,
Then, nothing was missing.
But there came a day when others started telling me in word and attitude
That there were certain "must-haves" that were missing from my makeup,
And I believed it.
They loved me, and I loved them, and needed their support.
I went along, to get along.
And as I grew older, the list grew longer,
As others found more faults
In my blossoming personality,
And got increasingly aggressive about it.

I fell for "missing", hook, line and sinker (puns intended).
"Smarten up"
"You've got to do more"
"You've got to do better"
"You've got to do different".
"You must get this..." (including, at the outset, spirituality and enlightenment).
Each admonition created new holes of "missing" in me.
I quickly got the hang of it and started creating my own miss-givings
And learned how to use them to manipulate others
Just so that I could get my way.

With every "missing" I went looking outside
For something and someone to plug the imagined holes,
And I found plenty more missing out there, too,
And plenty of other people parading their "missings" like sandwich boards.

Now, I have found
The only thing "missing" is me,
And it's way past teatime --
Time to call me home.

Nothing was ever missing,
Except in my imagination.
What I went out looking for
Was always within -- waiting for me to wake up.
I want to BE.....
Me.
I really want to BE me!

Every time another little bit of me comes home
Another hole of "missing" dis-appears.
I become alright,
And for the first time I can truly know
Who am I?