MISSING ........ I AM.......

If only we could get the fullness of "I am"!
And, of course, we cannot --
That's like a glovebox trying to contain the car.

But the closer we get to the full import of "I am",
The more we get that there's nothing missing;
No need for priests, temples, cathedrals, cruci-fixes,
Spiritual-growth hormones, or personal development regimens
Chants, affirmations, diets of positive thinking --
Or any other external plug-ins to make up
For what we think is missing inside of us.

To become "I am" is to allow
That we are a bloody sight better than we think we are, or can be.
To be "I am" is to be in love,
To have love fully.
Then can we give love freely and unconditionally.
We cannot give away what we secretly believe we do not have.
But we sure do radiate whatever crap we DO have --
Dogs, cats and dolphins can pick up on it a mile away!

When we forget "I am" and come from "missing",
"Missing" is what we put out
Under the disguises of compulsive "caring" and "loving deeds"
Hoping and expecting thereby to attract some love from another source,
Maybe even an aloof and elusive "god".
That won't work --ever,
It never did.
We're not "missing" anything.
We're depriving ourselves, no doubt about that --
Famishing ourselves in the middle of a feast.

Here's how it happened --
We had a thought -- "What if my parents don't love me?"
And we invented "missing" to try and manipulate them into doing it.
It wasn't necessary: we were wrong about our parents and their love --
(And still are, by the way).
They loved us, as best they knew how.
WE stopped loving us;
That's where we came unstuck.

Giving and caring from an empty place of "missing"
Yields 'missing".
Your charity resounds like a hollow "clang", echoeless.

When we're "missing", there's no space left for love;
We're full-up -- with "missing".

On those odd occasions when I am totally "being"....
I get "I am";
I have everything,
And I have nothing, the kind of nothing that offers infinite space for me, and others, to Be
Without conditions
In unconditional love.
I get it,
And then I lose it again.....

God said "I am" (and Moses called him that -- ya'-weh;
Jesus Christ said "I am -- and you can be, too!"
He showed us how to do it.
So did Buddha, so did Confucius, and Mohammed, and Papaji, and Osho.........
But we still haven't got it as a permanent way of being, have we?
Well we are that, too.
Got it?
We're reluctant to claim magnificence; we have an investment in remaining helpless.
What might that be, I wonder?
Here are some questions for you --
If I unqualifiedly proclaim "I am", 
And become happily self-sufficient, 
Who would be overjoyed? Hmmmm?
Make a list.
These are the people who already love you.
And who on this list would be let off the hook of my resentments?
Who, on this list, do I hold something (no matter how small) against?  Hmmmm?
These are the people you're trying to maniupulate
By hurting yourself
And pouting "Look what you're doing to me".
Last question -- How well is this working for you?


But when we do embrace the fullness of what we are,
Whenever we do get that total, ego-less feeling of "I am",
We be-come powerful, self-sufficient,
Open to sharing out of an overflowing abundance,
Giving and receiving out of the fullness
Of all that we are, and all that is.
Complete.
No frayed bits to get trampled,
No emotional hooks cast out there to come back empty
Or get tangled up with someone else's hooks,
No attachments hanging off us to be afraid of losing or getting damaged:
We are -- all of a piece.
What is -- is,
And we are -- what we are.
What is -- we are,
And what we are -- is.
Who are you?
Ya'-weh.
The god you're waiting to meet,
Is waiting to meet you,
Now/here.