SOLITUDE

I used to call me "Gunner Barkla" ---
Always "gonna" do something, be somehwere
When I got a Round Tuit.
How about you?

We're always going-to ....... somewhere,
Other than here;
Sometime,
Other than now
Going-to Do ..... something else,
Going to Be ...... someone else.
What happened to here and now?

We're searching for Home,
But feel like we're moving away from it,
Until we stop searching for a moment,
And then we feel so close.

Home is within us,
Found when we stop searching for it
Else-where,
And simply Be
With ourselves,
Getting to know our selves
Alone.....

But not lonely.
Loneliness is self-imposed pain,
Dis-satisfaction with self.
Loneliness is rest-lessness, yearning for someone other
To fill a void
Of a not-knowing of our Self.

Loneliness is an emotional needy-ness.
When we come from neediness, we are headed for -- neediness.
Neediness creates its own emptiness
And withhold:
Interposed between Need and that which is needed
Lies a thought --"What-if I lose this?"
So just in case, we keep something in reserve.
Coming from Need, even when we get what we need,
We cannot fully receive it.

Solitude
Is mother's womb,
Silence, peace, tranquility,
Amidst clamour, turmoil and liveliness --
The whole of existence,
Vast, free, beautiful,
Filled with every available experience
To be felt, unfettered by the need to consider any "other".

When we surrender to solitude,
In our aloneness,
We find our self.

Aloneness is going out to meet adventure,
And Aloneness is coming home to rest.
Alone, we need no "other"
For all otherness lives within.
In solitude, "I am" is enough --
More than enough.
Alone in silence
We are home
At last!
Ah-h-h-h!
In pure solitude
I am, whole and complete.

The instant I reject any part of myself,
I switch from being al-one
To being lonely,
Incomplete,
Missing something,
Divided ---
Into myself, and the not-me I now yearn for from companionship.

In years gone by, not knowing any better,
I sought a return to one-ness through lovers;
Sometimes I got closeness.
Close, but still so far.
In closeness there was still separation.
She was still, and would always be
Ever a stranger.

Only with myself can I be
Not as a stranger.
In others I see parts of me reflected,
But only with myself
Can I be totally me.
Here I can relax,
Be at ease,
Be all at one
With all existence.
Only alone
Can I feel the heartbeat of the universe
Within.

If you do not yet feel at home with yourself,
If you are still going-to........ else-ness
You do not yet know who you are.

If you are not yet intimate with yourself,
How can you be intimate with the reflections of yourself
That show up as "others"?

If you cannot be with yourself,
And still need the distraction of otherness,
Do not be surprised to encounter loneliness and disappointment,
The consequences of separation from self.

If you cannot feel at home with yourself,
You are never going to be at home with any other,

While you can comfortably inhabit your skin
In solitude,
You will never be lonely.