If, however, you are ready for a lifestyle change, read on –
Step One: (and this often gets missed, which is why DIY makeovers turn out to be shonky) Thoroughly check the existing condition of the building structure! If necessary, get an outside professional inspection and report; it will be well worth your investment. Otherwise you'll find you're just Spackfilling or papering over evidence of deep structural defects, crumbling foundations, rising damp, roof leaks or white ants. Haven't you done enough of that already?
Here's an exercise that will help. Take pen, paper and a bottle of water to your nearest churchyard, memorial park or cemetery and write two eulogies for yourself. Make the first one as if you've lived your life as you'd like it to become over the next few years; make the second one for your life as it is now. What could your best friends truthfully say about you? When you read these eulogies back, you'll begin to get a glimpse of your core values, the things that are really of value to you.
Then look more closely at the evidence of your life as it is. Find a place within where you can comfortably accept the inevitable possibility that “This isn't how it is.”
Don't gloss over this step – it you do, all your later efforts will be time, energy and materials down the drain, and you'll end up in a worse mess than the one you're in now.
This exercise will, in practice, help you balance two concurrent but conflicting needs – your need for change and your need for self-acceptance. Logically they are at odds, so we have to bypass your mind. That's essential because your mind is not going to be of any help to you in this exercise: your mind IS the problem.
But
you mind is not who you are. So you can stay in residence while you renovate.
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